Ah, another excuse to trundle this one out again...
When I was a mere slip of a lad, maybe 13 or 14, I went on a summer "Outward Bound" camping week with my school. This was in the Sussex countryside, and we did all the usual things: climbing, canoeing, orienteering and so on. One night, we did Night Manoeuvres - orienteering in the dark.

Now I freely admit that, as team leader, I cocked up and we got rather lost. It was a misty night, and we were a little way from where we should have been. Perhaps half a kilometre or so, nothing major. But this was a mistake that nearly cost us dearly...

We were tromping through a field. A fence loomed out of the mist, so we clambered over it. As we continued, I noticed that the grass seemed to change colour up ahead. Curiously I wondered what was causing the change. Right up until I realised that the grass hadn't changed colour, it had in fact stopped. About a metre away was the edge of a rather well-known cliff known as Beachy Head.

Yes, Beachy Head. 162 metres (530 ft for the Merkins) of sheer, ball-shrinkingly terrifying verticality. Which I'd come within about two steps from reaching.

What the FESTERING LEFT-HANDED WANK were they thinking, sending a bunch of kids out on night manoeuvres, in poor visibility, on BEACHY FUCKING HEAD????

Still gives me cold shivers, 35 years later. On the plus side, I'd have probably made the evening news.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 11:16, 10 replies)

for the Merkins in English.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 19 Aug 2014, 11:31, closed)

What's that in furlongs and spans?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 11:54, closed)

Dunno, they don't have those on our signposts.
(or metres)
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 19 Aug 2014, 12:01, closed)

Look carefully
...you may notice that new road signs are often positioned at 6 or 12 miles from the town or whatever. That's so that, when we finally complete the switch to metric, they'll be at 10 and 20 km distances.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 12:59, closed)

Its a fucking disgrace. Why did we even bother trying to defeat Hitler?
They can pry our archaic system of weights and measures from my cold dead hands.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 13:08, closed)

motorway distance markers are in metres and kilometres
just to fuck with your mind
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 13:07, closed)

I'm not allowed on motorways
Until I pass my test.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 19 Aug 2014, 21:30, closed)

I don't want to sound unsympathetic or owt
but you clearly knew you were near a cliff and deliberately climbed over the protective fence. You fucking idiot.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 19:38, closed)

Fucking idiot: guilty as charged
And yes, we climbed over the fence. But I had not one single clue that we were anywhere near the cliff.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:11, closed)

Clueless fucking idiot.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 12:45, closed)