i'm really bad at maths
but even i can do this equation:

dark, wet, rainy night + slimy stinking canine/human turd on the pavement / slightly pissed lawyer running in high heels to get out of the rain before hair goes curly = 1 x bruised bum, 1 x stinking and ruined suit, 1 x laddered tights, 1 x total loss of dignity

it was NOT a good end to the night.
( rachelswipe "yes you did, you invaded poland", Mon 31 Mar 2008, 13:42, closed)

Did anyone see you?
if no-one witnessed it, it never happened!
(TheWeeWitch do I get a prize if I break it?, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 14:25, )

too late for that
she's told us

that confirms that it happened

unfortunate
( Vipros is burning diesel, burning dinosaur bones, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 14:40, )

Bridget Jones strikes again...

(piston_broke, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 15:17, )

Ewww, that's even worse than getting the "silent footstep"
if there's anything more disgusting than dog shit, I don't want to know about it.
(Colonel Dracula Don't do what Donny Don't does, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 15:42, )

er
from memory, bridget jones got to roll around in the sack with both hugh grant AND colin firth.

not a pavement in kensington trying to escape the loving embrace of a turd of dubious origin.

i binned the suit, the tights, the shoes and the bag. if i could have binned my skin, i would have done!!!!!!!!!
( rachelswipe "yes you did, you invaded poland", Mon 31 Mar 2008, 16:07, )

Colin Firth isnt all he's cracked up to be...
He wouldnt even give me a reach-around, dammit!
(Lunar Jim, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 18:30, )

Are you sure you're not some kind of unfortunate cross of Ally McBeal
And Bridget Jones?
(piston_broke, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 19:21, )