Like many of the others, I too worked in a supermarket.
And as such, I shan't bore you with the pranks that bored teenagers on minimum wage get up to, but instead a tale of our manager.
Matt was an oddity - a shop floor manager who did his best for the underlings in the Grocery department, happy to change shifts around and sort out pay disputes. Customers, however, were his bugbear. He'd always be polite enough to those who were polite to him, but could let go on those who were pushy.
On one occasion, I was restocking the carpet cleaners (amazing how long the Shake and vac tune will stay in your head when you don't even stock the bloody stuff) and a well-to-do woman, clearly out of her depth in somewhere that wasn't Fortnum and Mason's, asked for a specific type of a specific brand of carpet cleaner, being the green Stain Devil (probably for removing fox blood from the hall carpets). After assuring her that we had only the red and blue varieties (for chip fat and sick, respectively) she started to get quite annoyed with my inability to magically produce said green variant of powder. After a traipse out to the storeroom to see if a case was hiding out back, she demanded to see the manager.
"How can I help, madam?"
"Well, this young man here can't find me the green Stain Devil and I think it isn't good enough."
"Ah, well, we've never stocked that one, only blue and red. I can certainly ask the stockroom if they can order some in though."
"No, that's no good, I want it now. I've bought it here before and I think you're not telling me the truth." She must have been a whisker away from stamping her foot by this point.
"Madam, I know that we have never stocked that version, but I can order it in."
"Well, this is simply not good enough."
"Well, why don't you fuck off to Sainsbury's then?"

The only time I saw him be sarcastic to someone who didn't deserve it was when a little old lady asked, very sweetly, "Where do you keep your jam?" I was about to answer "Aisle 25" when he quipped "In the cupboard above my fridge." before wandering off out the back of the shop.

Top chap, though - he knew I was struggling to get by on a student loan and somehow wrangled me double pay for the whole of the Christmas holiday.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 12 May 2012, 10:40, 2 replies)

Oh I love that.
So many times in retail I have wanted to say that to people.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 12 May 2012, 12:25, closed)

' I've bought it here before and I think you're not telling me the truth.'
ooh, that boils my piss. 'well the last person I spoke to did it for me...' no they didnt. stop lying. wankers all.
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Sun 13 May 2012, 21:15, closed)