what's the best thing about
fucking a 13 year old girl?

from behind she looks like a 13 year old boy.
(ianb, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:30, Reply)

A blonde and a brunette...
are moaning about their boyfriends having dandruff. The brunette says, "I'll think I will give him head and shoulders."
The blonde replies, "How'd ya give shoulders?"
BU! DUM! TISCH!
(Dry Crackers, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:30, Reply)

What's, pink wrinkled and makes mothers scream?

Tom Jones
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed turned your mother down, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:29, Reply)

What's blue and fucks grannies?
Me in my lucky blue coat.
(Kong, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:29, Reply)

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because the little boy next to her lost his knackers in a terrible "plastic swing seat" accident....
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed turned your mother down, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:28, Reply)

probably bindun but i am fucked if i am checking
what did the deaf dumb and blind kid get for christmass?



cancer
(incredible wrongun, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:25, Reply)

Whats pink, wrinkled and makes mothers squirm?
Cot death babies


Thanks to The Invisibles for that one
(ac-x, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:25, Reply)

What's the most satisfying thing in the world?
Skullfucking the parents of the fucking clownshoes who repeat the same five, shit jokes. Over. And over. And over.




You wanted jokes?
(fogbat, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:24, Reply)

What's brown and hides in the attic?
The diarrhoea of Anne Frank.
( Flapjack - Dorsoventral coupling., Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:24, Reply)

.
Q: What do you say to a black man in a uniform?
A: Big Mac and fries please.


Q: What do you say to a black man in a suit?
A: Guilty as charged.
( 100% Cock I believe that Gorgonzola is the best cheese., Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:24, Reply)

Hell, please.
What's the difference between Shane Richie and Jill Dando?

Jill Dando failed the doorstep challenge.
(Log of the Bar, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:22, Reply)

I was going to hell long ago
What's the difference between a pizza and a jew?
Pizza's don't scream when you put them in the oven.

What's the difference between a nigger and a tyre?
Tyres don't sing when you put chains on them.
(Mong-the-Merciful, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:22, Reply)

What's brown and sits on a piano stool?
Beethoven's last movement.
( badg3r :: what are you insinuating, you equity ponce? last considered changing his board sig on, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:19, Reply)

I'm fairly sure that this hasn't been posted before
...but if it has I accept any flames.

What's red, black and white and can't turn round in corridors?

An nun with a javelin through her neck.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:19, Reply)

Why did God invent orgasms?
So that black men know when to stop fucking.
(The Pink Strat Copy, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:17, Reply)

A boy
was upstairs playing on his computer when his grandad came in the room and sat down on the bed.
"What are you doing?", Asked the grandad. "You're 18 years old and wasting your life! When I was 18 I went to Paris, I went to the Moulan Rouge, drank all night, had my way with the dancers, pissed on the barman and left without paying! Now that is how to have a good time!"

A week later, the grandfather comes to visit again. He finds the boy still in his room, but with a broken arm in plaster, 2 black eyes and missing all his front teeth.

"What happened?", he asked.

"Oh Grandfather!", replied the boy. "I did what you did! I went to Paris, went to the Moulan Rouge, drank all night, had my way with the dancers, pissed all over the barman, and the beat the crap out of me!"

"Oh dear!", replied the grandad. "Who did you go with?"

"Just some friends, why? Who did you go with?"

"Oh!" replied the grandad. "The SS."
( Weetobix is a married man, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:14, Reply)

ooooooooooooooooh!!!
man walks into a chemists, and says 'i need some birth control for my 14yr old daughter'. the chemist looks a bit shocked by this and queries 'your 14 year old daughter is sexually active?'. the man thinks for a moment then replies..


'not really, she just lies there like her mother'


haha!
(5lab, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:14, Reply)

What's blue and doesn't fit any more?
A dead epileptic.
( badg3r :: what are you insinuating, you equity ponce? last considered changing his board sig on, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:14, Reply)

Why did the little girl fall of the swing?
She had no arms.
(soapytitwank, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:12, Reply)

You might have heard this one before but...
"I wish people would stop repeating the same jokes"

Punchline: everyone who posted a message like this (including me)

speling
(yiddo, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:09, Reply)

What's the best thing about shagging ten five year olds?
There's ten of..
fucksocks.
(mrdirtylegs, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:08, Reply)

...
Whats blue and fucks grannies?



Hypothermia
(Slacker, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 13:01, Reply)

Old Mr Johnson goes to the doctors for his test results...
And the doctor says to him "There is no easy way of telling you this Mr Johnson but you have Alzheimers disease.....and you have cancer"

Mr Johnsons looked utterly shocked, "oh my god you have to be kidding me, oh well, at least I don't have cancer eh?"

BOOM FUCKIN BOOM!!

sorry
(kuntybawz, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:57, Reply)

What goes....
....*Click Click* "Is that it?", *Click Click* "Is that it?", *Click Click* "Is that it?"?

Stevie Wonder doing a Rubiks Cube!
(Charlie Baked Potato, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:57, Reply)

What's worse than posting the same message more than once?
Select from the following:

1) Reading the same message more than once
2) Nothing!
3) Rape
4) Everyone is laughing at you
5) Having baby guts spread all over your face, then finding that you're naked in the classroom and then everyone is laughing at you
6) Being raped whilst reading the same joke more than once whilst Nothing is happening and baby guts are being spread all over your face before you find out that you're naked in the classroom. And everyone is laughing at you.
(lat297, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:56, Reply)

actually told to me by my grandmother
Q: Whats the difference between a family reunion and an 69er ???


A: In a 69er you only have to kiss one cunt
(Funkwomble It's not going to suck itself, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:55, Reply)

Ever tried Belgian kissing?
It's like French kissing, but with more Flem.
( Flapjack - Dorsoventral coupling., Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:54, Reply)

A new father
is at home with his newborn son while a nurse is upstairs seeing to the mother.
The nurse walks into the bathroom to get a towel and finds the father giving his son a bath. "Aww, how sweet!" she thinks, but when she gets closer, she sees he's got 2 fingers up the baby's nostrils and is moving him up and down the bath in a figure of 8 pattern.
"What are you doing??", the nurse shrieks! "That's not the way to bathe a baby!"
"Listen", replies the man, "It bloody well is when the water's this hot!"
( Weetobix is a married man, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 12:54, Reply)