Puke
Long story short.

Woman gets tired of her drunk cunt of a husband always coming home from the pub and ralphing up his evening's supper in the sink.

Heads down to the butcher's and comes back with ten pounds of cow stomach and intestines. If he sees THIS in the sink tonight, she figures, he'll be scared sober and lay off the booze for a while.

That night, she stays awake, hears the boyo come in, pissed as usual. Sound of vomiting. Scream. Loud clattering. Ten minutes of what sounds like frightened gurgling and retching. Then her husband stumbles into the bedroom and collapses at the foot of the bed.

"Dear," the wife says innocently, "is something wrong??"

"God yes," the poor bastard says. "I puked my damned guts up in the sink just now, but with the grace of God and a wooden spoon I got them back down again..."

(Friend of mine used this one in the lunchroom at school when I was a mite, and fifteen kids lost their appetites.)
(Dr.Whogivesaratsarse, Mon 10 Apr 2006, 8:04, Reply)