So, this bloke with no arms walks into a pub.
Asking the barman where the gents are, he's pointed towards a door at the back of the pub.

After the bloke hasn't reappeared 15 mins later, the barman, being a thoughtful chap, asks one of the regulars to go and see if the armless chappie is ok.

Regular goes into the gents and sees armless chappie just standing in front of the urinals, looking a tad uncomfortable. 'You alright mate?' he asks. 'Oh shit, I really didn't want to ask' said armless bloke, 'but I lost my arms today, and I'm just gonna piss meself if i can't get me old chap out and take a leak. Is there any chance....'.

Oh jeez, thinks regular bloke, poor bastard, but he's not happy at the thought of handling the armless blokes tackle. 'Please, I'd do the same for you', pleads armless bloke. So regular guy takes a deep breath, thinks of the good karma this is bound to net him, and undoes the armless blokes flies to reveal this grotesque, warty, pus covered, sore infested cock. 'Gah!' he gags, but he hides his disgust. Just. And aims the fella into the urinals.

After helping him take a leak and zipping him back up, the regular bloke can't contain his curiousity any more, and says to the armless bloke, 'sorry mate, but I've got to ask, what the *fuck* is wrong with your old chap, its fucking disgusting?!'. 'I've got no idea whats wrong with it', replies the armless bloke, 'but', popping his arms back out from under his jumper, says 'I ain't touching the fucking thing!'.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 21:19, Reply)