SleepwalkingA friend of mine once cooked an entire meal for two in her sleep, ate the lot and washed-up before going back to bed.
She has also awoken to find herself naked, on a fire escape in Fulham, confronted by two burly - and not to mention excitable - officers of the Metropolitan Police.
She doesn't even live in Fulham.
(
Scaryduck - twitter.com/duckorange, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 22:21)
Pages: Best, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
« Back
My mother had a trick to keep me from wetting the bedShe would wake me in the middle of the night, stand me in front of the toilet and tell me to go. I would go, she's put me back in bed and that would be that. It worked brilliantly, and I never once wet the bed.
I did, however, wet a pew.
It was a full catholic wedding ceremony, little four-year-old me dressed in a darling little tuxedo, sleeping like a lamb through the second half of the mass. Then it came time for everybody to stand up, so my dear mother picked me up, stood me up, and in a pavlovian reaction I fulfilled my part of our nightly ritual.
If you've ever seen a woman run out of a cathedral while holding a sleeping toddler in a tuxedo with his penis in his hands, it was me. If you've ever gotten a face full of pee from a toddler in a tuxedo being held by his mother as she runs past your pew, hello Aunt Linda!
(, Fri 24 Aug 2007, 16:19, closed)
« Back