Bit of a crossover from last weeks QOTW...
When I was a kid, I LOVED football. I loved playing it, watching it, reading about it... loved it. I was (and still am) a Manchester United fan (go on, boo), and collected anything I could that was to do with United.

Despite how much I loved football, I was never particularly brilliant at it. Actually, I'm shit at football, I make no bones about it. I have skills in other areas, but football I have always been shite at.

Anyway,

Around the age of 7, and still completely besotted with everything football, I joined a local Under 9's team run by a bloke called Bryan. He was a good bloke. He once gave me the man of the match award, despite my being shit, just because I was the only player who hadn't won it yet.

At the end of the season I was kept in the Under 9's team, as I was the youngest in the side and not really meant to be there. The new team was run by a bloke called Steve who, for the record, was about 40. He was a twat.

As the manager of a team of 8 year old children, he acted like he was the manager of a premier league side. He took everything far too seriously and would stand on the sidelines, getting physically agitated, and scream and swear at everything that didn't happen the way he wanted. At children. As well as that, he felt it was ok to single kids out in front of the whole team and explain why that person was shit, and was the reason we had lost that day. He once singled me out and announced to everyone that I shouldn't play football, because I "kick like a girl". This went on all season.

Throughout all this my Dad, a 6'3 foot ex-boxer working as navvy, would quietly observe proceedings and occasionally tell him to calm down when he got too colourful.

My last game for that side was when we turned up on the saturday morning, only to find the other team was down a player. Steve said they could have me. I said I didn't want to play for the other team. He said I wasn't going to get a game otherwise. I was pretty devastated.

I went back and my dad asked me why I wasn't getting changed. I told him. He went over to Steve and asked him why I wasn't playing. He said I'd be better off playing for the other team, because he wasn't going to play me today anyway, because I was shit.

At this point, my dad walked me back to the car and told me to get in. I climbed onto the back seat as he shut the door behind me. I then watched as he calmly walked back to the touchline, tapped Steve on the shoulder, and then hit him with one of the hardest right hooks I've ever seen. He dropped like a sack of shit. My Dad turned around, walked back to the car and got in.

"You're not playing for that team any more".
( PMGT -Bacon., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 23:57, 11 replies)

Sadly...
.... there are too many tw@ts out there like your man, who get off on pushing kids around on a Sunday morning.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:12, closed)

who get off on pushing kids around on a Sunday morning. who think punching someone in the head just because their son is shit at football is acceptable.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:15, closed)

I'm convinced the bloke was a psychopath.
I just can't fathom how you can get so wound up watching a side of 8 year olds play football. His son was in the team, and he'd get it worse than anybody if he fucked up. He'd stand him out in front of us and make him explain to us why he had played shit in that match, apologise for being shit and then promise to play better in the next match. It was just humiliating.

That he felt the need to single out and ridicule children indicates to me that he probably had some major personal feelings of inferiority.
( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 20 Apr 2012, 12:48, closed)

See my previous comment.

( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Sat 21 Apr 2012, 12:39, closed)

"Go and sit in the Honda, son.
I'm just going to dish out an unjustifiable and totally unreasonable level of justice."
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 8:20, closed)

Gah! Beat me to it!
I was wondering if there was MASSIVE drugs and super MODELS at half time?
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:41, closed)

I was waiting for the Honda Accord jokes to roll out.
Somebody got punched, therefore I must be lying.
( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 20 Apr 2012, 12:19, closed)

I was hoping you were lying.
Otherwise your Dad launched an unprovoked attack on someone, without giving him the chance to defend himself, in front of a group of eight-year-olds. Which would make him a bigger bully and a massive fucking dickhead, wouldn't it?
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:27, closed)

I wouldn't say unprovoked.
Watching your son get humiliated for a year by an ageing wanker would count as sufficient provocation. At least in my book it would. If I had a kid that was being bullied week in week out by a middle aged man, I'd probably fucking punch them as well.

My dad had spoken to him plenty of times in the past to tell him to calm himself down, because his behaviour was unacceptable. And he had plenty of time to defend himself, between tapping him on the shoulder, giving him time to turn around, confronting him, and then punching him. Not giving him a chance to defend himself would be if he punched him in the head from behind, and then proceed to kick the shit out of him whilst he was on the floor. He hit him, and walked off.

Also, it wasn't in front of a group of 8 year olds. They were in the changing rooms. This was on the touchline, with the other parents. He wouldn't even do it in front of me, which is why he put me in the car first (although cars have windows...).

Fair enough if, in your opinion, it was an over-reaction. Some people are completely averse to any kind of violence, and that's fine. Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. A lot of people seem to have this opinion that unless the other person is physically aggressive, then no amount of name-calling or bullying of any kind is worthy of some sort of physical response. Again, if that's what you believe then thats very commendable of you. But I don't believe that. Having been on the receiving end of bully tactics several times as a kid, I found it amazing how quickly people stopped picking on me when I put them on their arse (of course, that can backfire as well, and I've had the shit kicked out of me before for defending myself...)

I don't know how sticking up for your son can make you a bully though. I would have thought regularly acting in a way made to intimidate, belittle and undermine the confidence of other people would make you a bully. My dad is actually a very quiet, shy man despite his size and ability as a fighter. In my entire life, I have only ever seen him be violent twice. That was one of the times. The other was when I was playing on my skateboard in the back yard, and a guy with an old english sheepdog came to the gate and was trying to get me to open the gate and come down the road with him. I told my Dad, who sent me into the house and went and opened the gate. Again, I was watching out of the dining room window. Whilst I didn't see what happened, when the gate opened again the other guy was on the floor.
( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 20 Apr 2012, 19:38, closed)

Listen up, my pedigree chum.
I'd like to book your dad to fight a gypsy in a barn.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Mon 23 Apr 2012, 15:25, closed)

That made me laugh more than it should have.

( PMGT -Bacon., Mon 23 Apr 2012, 23:46, closed)

Well
That's what happens when you're a Leeds United fan
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 10:46, closed)

violence no - loyalty yes
Have a click
(justin(e), Tue 24 Apr 2012, 14:43, closed)

Fair play to your old man, IMHO he did the right thing.

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Wed 25 Apr 2012, 17:18, closed)