( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:38, 1 reply)

Before making lieutenant, he sailed before the last for five years.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:13, Reply)

I have a really bad cramp in the arch of my foot. Anyone else got cramps?
( Ken Oath, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 11:09, 1 reply)

Terrible striking.
Tell us tales of when you were last on strike.
STRIKE WOES!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:26, 2 replies)

Suck my last!

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 10:24, Reply)

SUCK MY DICK.







Just sayin', like, if you've got nothing better to do.
( Ken Oath, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:29, 6 replies)

I think they shoulld keep this QoTW open forever and ever - just filled with LAST

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 9:18, Reply)

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 8:53, Reply)

GO TEAM GB!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 7 Feb 2014, 8:12, 8 replies)

I'm vaguely drunk.
The last Stag Do I attended was about a decade back. I'm not too sure how Stag Nights evolved into what we're told they're supposed to be these days really, back then it was just you and your mates getting drunk, at some point there'd be a stripper, the groom would end up handcuffed to a lamppost for a bit and then you'd all go home.
I could probably have made it to a cow-orker's one last year in the USA, but I thought 'fuck it' He wanted to go white water rafting me to wear black trousers. Plus I'd have had to book a crane to break down my wall for me to leave the house.


Oh yes, story. Groom, stripper, grimness, Star Wars etc.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 7 Feb 2014, 1:11, 3 replies)

I dun a guff

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 23:55, 3 replies)

well
this should make the newsletter.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 22:21, Reply)

Ladies and gentlemen.
B3ta regrets to inform you that this weeks qotw has been delayed due to industrial action by members of the Unite union.
Normal service is expected to resume as soon possible.
Any stories prepared in anticipation for this weeks qotw will remain valid for the next seven days upon presentation of pea roasts or glass cocks.
Thank you for your cooperation.





Tl:dr...... fuck off!
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:50, 3 replies)

Sans eyes, sans teeth, sans every next QOTW

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:09, 1 reply)

The Hen Party of River Song (take two)
Right, where was I, before I was interrupted by those fucking Cybermen?

Oh yes. Here we go. I was out on the pop with King Yrcanos -

OH FOR FUCK'S FUCKING, FUCKING, *FUCKING* CUNT!

Sea Devils

I GIVE UP
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 20:04, 9 replies)

Forget what I said earlier about 'lasts'.
The genuine stories finish halfway down page 3, and we're now on 5.

Ahaha, 'genuine'.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)

Nu question please!
It's like they don't care anymore.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 19:01, Reply)

I had a genuine story for this week.
Sadly I've had other things to deal with and didn't post it.
It involves Whitley Bay; MASSIVE DRUGS in a car going around 100mph, then stopping on a hard shoulder so we could micturate; a stripper; a cheap but pleasant B&B whose landlady brandished a baseball bat to welcome us, with threats to introduce it to us anally should we cause problems; nightclub bouncers taunting us that the locals would likely give us a beating, until the more hulk-like members of our party made themselves known; An altercation on the dancefloor ending when one of our party (about 20 stone of muscle and bone) threw a local about 10 feet; watching teletubies with "speed dick" and attractive women coming and going; and, finally, A decree never to go again for a night out to a place where the clubs shut at 00:00.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:35, 3 replies)

not least

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:35, Reply)

First
EDIT: damn
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:29, Reply)

last

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:28, Reply)

This is the last straw.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 18:05, Reply)

There was this time I tried to think of a Stags and Hens story
but it took me so long I was LAST.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 17:33, Reply)

Serious.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 17:30, Reply)

terminal

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 17:06, Reply)

conclusion

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 17:06, Reply)

Stand

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 17:05, Reply)

Floor coverings

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 17:05, Reply)

Midweek stag do.
We all had to be in work the following day, which ruled out traveling, so we just went down to the local to give the groom-to-be an appropriate send off.
To be honest, we should have paced ourselves better, or known when to stop, as we all wound up thoroughly cunted!
It was all the worse for me, as the following day I was due to update the topic on the web forum that I administer - don't know if you've ever tried it, but trust me, web admin and a raging hangover just don't mix! :(
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 16:57, 2 replies)

...because the last time I fucked a nigger she stole my wallet!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 16:37, 2 replies)