From a shared house
I used to stay in a three storey house, the basement was living room/kitchen, the next floor had the room I was in, bathroom and this poor geezers bedroom, top floor more bedrooms.
Anyhow, this unfortunate geezer was a bit like Neil from the Young Ones. Vegan, long hair, animal rights, and also having the room next to the front door, the person who got EVERYONE's stuff dumped in his room 'til later'.
One night he actually pulled a girl. This was a one off never again to be seen moment. I was in my room watching tv, and I could hear our housemates plus cronies on the stairs whispering (all were drunk so more like shouting)

"You open the door, you shout OI and I throw this yogurt at them"

then

"NO, I open the door, you shout OI and you throw the yogurt"

and so forth. I was intrigued, so poked head out of the door as hoping they weren't about to attack me. Three very drunken punks outside tiptoeing along the hall to Jason's room.
The shouting from in there was priceless.
"You utter bastards, I never ever ever get a girlfriend and now you have covered my room in yogurt and I'm vegan and i can't sleep on a lactose pillow."
Needless to say, the girl was a vegan too and mortally offended.
( Jolly Fucking Lumas, Thu 10 Jun 2004, 21:31, closed)