Stupid ColleaguesGodwin's Lawyer tells us: "I once worked with a lad who believed 'Frankenstein' was based on a true story, and that the book was written by Shirley Bassey." Tell us about your workplace dopes.
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 15:34)
« Go Back
Hostile TakeoverOK - there's a bit of backstory to this. I used to be the managing director of a company. (The actual owners had a very hands-off role.) This company was pretty big, but it had been bigger - huge - in the past. At some point, long before I arrived, it had had a range of subsidiary companies, most of which it had got rid of. As my company shrank, one of these ex-subsidiaries grew, to the extent that it was now the biggest in the market by quite some way, and would frequently contract work out to us. Let's call this other company "Company 1", and mine "Company 2".
Got that? Right. The CEO of Company 1, whom I'll call G, had a long-running dispute with the guy who ran what I'll call Company 3 - a guy called S - and was on the lookout for any way to fuck him over. And, eventually, the opportunity arose. G needed my help with some of the details, but basically, the idea was to launch a hostile bid against Company 3, force S out, fill the board with G's own guys, and control that part of the market like an aggressive toad in a garden pond.
My board didn't much like the idea, but I could see some sense in it; and I thought that it'd be an easy way for us to mop up some of the leftovers from G's little enterprise. Through sheer force of personality (and, I have to admit, a few white lies), I managed to get enough support to force the contract with Company 1 through. We were ready to go.
Unfortunately, I hadn't banked on G being such a monumental chimp. Though he launched takeover proceedings with brutal efficiency, it turned out that he hadn't done due diligence - and had taken business advice from people who were, frankly, crooks. (This made things hard for me; I've had to tell a few more white lies since...) Not only that, but the management team he parachuted in was woefully underprepared. Finally, though he sacked almost all the guys from Company 3 pretty quickly, he forgot to ensure that they no longer had access to Company 3's resources: a good number of them simply filled vans with company equipment and vanished into the willing arms of other competing organisations. They were angry with us, and determined to undermine our increasingly-rickety enterprise at any opportunity. There was quite a lot of blood on the carpet.
The whole thing was, frankly, a very expensive disaster.
G lost his job in 2008, and is now a farmer of some sort. Company 3 remains a mess, and probably will be for a while yet. As for me? Well, I'm working freelance as a consultant, and on a much better wage. Get in!
Your pal
Tony.
(
Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 14:23,
11 replies)
*clicks**cries*
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 14:46, closed)
...Did I miss a film reference?
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 15:00, closed)
...Oh. Well alright then, carry on.
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 15:03, closed)
That's the thingYou couldn't make this shit up..Good post, I did cheat though.
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 15:09, closed)
*clicks*(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 15:14, closed)
*Clicks*right to the last word (name)
(
buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 15:15,
closed)
Very nicely done(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 15:21, closed)
Is it Ewing Oil?(
Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 15:43,
closed)
*clicks hard*Nicely.
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 16:40, closed)
That about sums it up.All done for the benefit of shareholders (corporations) and not the customers (us, the people).
Welcome to the farmyard -- now work for them until you drop.
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:33, closed)
oh, very good...click
(, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 17:46, closed)
Brilliant!...*Clicks enthusiastically but with sorrowful heart at the depressing accuracy of this post*
*cheers up a bit*
*clicks again*
(
Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 19:44,
closed)
« Go Back