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This is a question Stupid Tourists

What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard a tourist say? Ever heard an American talking about visiting "Scotchland, England", or (and this one is actually real) a Japanese couple talking about the correct way to say Clapham is actually Clatham, as "ph" sounds are pronounced "th". Which has a certain logic really. UPDATE: Please, no more Loogabarooga stories. It's getting like, "and I opened my eyes and my mum had left me a cup of tea!"

(, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 16:31)
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Daft Tourists
I work at one of the most prestigious Whisky & Real Ale pubs in Edinburgh. It's very posh and very traditionally Scottish in a posh way (but this means, as barstaff, we get the joy of refusing anyone we don't like, including students, hen nights and people wearing those bloody stupid "Jimmy" hats)

Anyway, we get a lot of celebs and politicians in. One night, Joe Jackson, who was playing in the city, was entertaining several American mates, including the guy who produced Bat Out Of Hell. Todd Rundgren according to the internet. I wouldn't know, because Meatloaf's shite.

So, this lardy yank comes up to the bar, which is famed for having 170+ malt whiskies.

"AH WANNA SKAAAAAATCH!"
"Which one? We have over 170. Perhaps you would like to see the whisky list?"
"NAAA, AH WANNA SKAAAATCH!"
"Okay, what sort of price range can you afford?"
"WHATEVER!"
"Ah, sir, I see.. I have here.. a 27 year old Macallan, at 17.50 a nip. Would that be alright?"
"YEAH!"

hahahaha.

Oh, alright, if that's not good enough, a big group of tourists came in asking if we served food.
"Only pies and toasties," said the other barman.
"Could we get the menu then?" Said the yanks. Aforementioned barman ripped the front of a barmat, wrote "PIES AND TOASTIES 1.50" on it, and gave it back to them.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2005, 0:14, closed)

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