OK, I'm crowbarring this one in, cos I just bashed it out as a reply on /links at gone 1am and it was too much work to just see vanish...
Besides, I like making ProfKM chuckle. And there are two or three examples of tactlessness in this tale...


I was living in the shittiest room of a six-"person" house as a student.

We got an early-morning visit from the telly licensing cunt.
My bedroom door was locked, and the fucker woke me by banging on it at about 8am. I ignored it.
I could tell what was going on, cos a housemate (helpful!) shouted who it was, thereby giving the tosser the conviction that I was indeed in the room.
So he carried on banging the door. For several hours. Astonishingly persistent.
Eventually, some time after 11am, I realised this might be a day-long war of attrition, and it was a horrible room I hated spending any time in. And this was at a time when I liked stepping out and having things to do.
I gazed at the knackered, 12-inch black and white portable telly that only picked up two channels, with its screen covered with red wax dribbles from ill-positioned candles, and thought: "Sod this".
I got dressed, picked up the small hammer from my crappy tool bag, and unlocked the door.
"You're very rude," I said to the weaselly prick who was standing there. "What do you want?" I probably looked as pissed-off as I was feeling.
"Have you got a license for that television?"
I turned and put the hammer through the screen. Been wanting to do it for years, and finally had the excuse. Disappointing lack of spectacular sparks, but hey ho.
I turned back to him, hammer in hand, glaring. "What television?"

He left. Swiftly.
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 1:41, 8 replies)

we don't have television licensing here
and frankly I find it hard to get my head around.
Is it because you have far less advertisements..or?

The image of some tragic jobsworth banging away on the door in a filthy student hovel for three hours is the absolute pinnacle of human evolution.

I stopped watching commercial telly as a habit 20 years ago, and now whenever I run across it being played somewhere, I'm always appalled at the tone of the adverts. People literally and actually shouting at you to buy stuff.
Its very fucking strange.
And I find it offensive.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Tue 8 Nov 2011, 2:38, closed)

I have to say I agree

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 9:50, closed)

It's a historical anomaly
Since we had TV first (so ner), and it was run by a public corporation, funded by the license - which is really just a taxation stamp.

But it does mean that on the main BBC channels we have NO adverts - not less, but NONE. Which is sweet. Cos I agree, adverts make my brain dribble out of my ears, and give me an overwhelming urge to (ironically) throw a hammer through the screen.

Of course, having no adverts means you couldn't go and take a piss, before the advent of Live Pause... "Tivo Saved My Bladder"!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 9:59, closed)

YOU SAY NO ADVERTS
but have you noticed how many adverts they have advertising other programmes on the same blasted station
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 11:16, closed)

You're a real offence-whore, aren't you?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 22:26, closed)

yes.

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Tue 8 Nov 2011, 23:56, closed)

Haha, I wish I'd seen that :D
*clicks*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 9:50, closed)

likey
clickey
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 11:48, closed)