Clamp it to the man
A few years back I was delivering tons of stuff to my University department (in Lincoln) to help set up my final show. I came downstairs after delivering the final load to find that my sh*tty old Ford Fiesta had been clamped by some vicious fascist clamp bastard. Considering how little the car was worth, and considering how skint I was, there was no way in hell I was going to pay the 80 quid fine. Little did he know that because my car was so sh*t, I carried a nearly complete tool set in the boot. Half an hour later my suspension was disassembled and I had removed the wheel, suspension strut and lower wishbone (car gubbins to those who don't know) and the clamp was safely removed. Another half an hour later and I had reassembled the car and was on my way. One week later I get a letter through the door from Mr clamp bastard asking where their clamp was, so I phoned them up and explained that...
"Someone illegally altered and modified my vehicle without my prior consent, this illegal addition to my vehicle was removed and was safely disposed of by flinging it into the River Witham."
They never did get back to me. :D
(Biromunch, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 19:32, 10 replies)

I
love this!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 19:48, closed)

I can only click once
which is a pity.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 20:16, closed)

Good work!
( Vambo, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 20:24, closed)

Lincoln
Is my home. I love it to bits, but there are too many jobsworths around. Good on you!
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 20:43, closed)

Good work :D

( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 21:43, closed)

I always wondered if
it was possible to do that, and now I know!

*click*
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 22:18, closed)

Does anyone remember angle grinder man?
EDIT - his site has disappeared but basically this was a bloke in Kent who used to go around removing clamps from cars dressed as a superhero

www.facebook.com/pages/Angle-Grinder-Man/196442500494
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:42, closed)

While I do like this...
I disapprove of your littering
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:24, closed)

I Disapprove of you flinging the clamp in the river too...
...as you had failed to chain the robbing jobsworth clamping bastard to it
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:43, closed)

*click*
My mate Lee (RIP mate) was a dab hand at getting the clamps off cars - I swear he could have the car ready to roll in about 3 minutes.

He always got a copper to watch him take it off, then handed it to the copper (for a receipt) to confirm it hadn't been damaged/stolen.
( snee held his breath since, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 11:36, closed)