The most cash.
The most cash I have ever carried around is about £1000. Needed to change it up for spending money on holiday.

The most cash a friend has carried round. Well, not sure how much he had, let's just say he bought a Porsche 911 with it (he is a multi millionaire).

Actually, there is a mildly amusing story behind that. He had gone down to a Porsche dealership to test drive a car, but because he was wearing his normal clothes (a knackered jumper and old jeans), the salesman was quite snooty and refused to deal with him. So, just to wind this salesman up, he went to the next dealership, bought the 911 (with the cash) and drove past the first one.

Finally, the most valuable document I have ever carried? A letter of credit for £1,000,000, which I had to deliver to a shipping company. For those that don't know, a letter of credit is a guarentee by a bank to pay for a shipment. If you know how to use them, they are as good as cash.
(Ok, I'll get me coat, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 12:05, Reply)

Fortunately unrelated to last week's QOTW
Of my own money, about £1,500 to empty one account and get it into another one straight away - it would have been a lot faster to email it, or whatever banks do, the gits!

Oh, and I used to do the banking at The Link in Ipswich when I had a temp job there some years ago. In a five minute walk to the night safe my mind would have been thrice round the world on the cash, but I never followed through.
(Jibber Jabba The Hutt, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 12:02, Reply)

Naive...
About ten years ago I was a lowly Bell-Boy for one of London's top hotels.

Part of the job was to run random errands for clients accross the City, picking up shopping, dropping off dry cleaning or running documrets to offices etc. Basically we were low paid lackey's for anyone who stayed there.

One day I was asked if I could take a plain brown envelope, nothing extraodinary looking, by cab to an office over in the City, ask the cabbie to wait get a confirmation receipt and return. Apparently there'd be a nice tip in it for me...

So I did what was asked, came back and dropped off the receipt. When i returned my boss was grinning slyly at me and asked if i wanted to know what was in the envelope? @Not bothered' I replied - as said it didn't look anything special.

'You sure?'

'Ok, what is it, now I'm intrigued...'

'£2.6 million in transferable broker bonds'.

It took me 5 minutes to pick my arsehole off the floor...

And my tip? £3.
(Let's all have an asbo, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:59, Reply)

Not very much by standards on this board...
... But, when I was 16 I worked for my uncle in London as a labourer... It wasn;t much money but I didn't have to pay for food or board so all the money i earned was mine... ALL MINE!

On my return to Newcastle I had amassed a whopping £900 for making teas and carrying heavy tools up Bermondsey high rise flats...

As soon as I got off the train I walked to the bus stop to go home and a tramp came up to me and chatted to me about all sorts of bollocks... being 16 and naieve I didn't expect the "got any spare change?" at the end... But sure enough he asked it!....

I dipped into my pocket.... put my hand on cold hard £50s (the only time ive ever had them!) and my eyes popped open and my jaw dropped as i realised i had no loose change...

I felt like utter shit! looking this guy straight in the eyes and said "erm... sorry mate I've only got £50s" He thought i was taking the piss and stormed off in a huff!

---------------------------------------------------

apologies for length / girth... the usual shit!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:56, Reply)

Personally
14K in cash in the early 90's. Boring story. I had the chance to buy a shitload of monitors at about a fifth of the normal price from a company I dealt with as they were just about to go bust and the owners wanted some running away money.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:52, Reply)

2 Grand in a sock draw.
We had our fascias and some other work on the house done last year. It was 2 grand cash job and should only have taken 3 days so I got the cash from the bank ready to pay. Unfortunately the work took far longer than was quoted so the 2 grand resided (rather stupidly) in the bottom of my sock drawer for about a week. Lovely.
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:50, Reply)

Poker Courtesy of Blockbuster
When I was a student I worked part time in a huge Blockbuster video store. During our breaks we would either play football in the massive half empty store room or sit in the manager's office and have a chat.

During one break, me and my fellow break-ee noticed that the manager had left the safe open and there was about 10 grand in cash in there.

As responsible employees we decided that we should play poker with it. To us impoverished students it felt like millions. Raising my mate a grand and whopping a wad of tenners on the desk was pretty cool.

When the manager walked in he was none too pleased.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:48, Reply)

First Car
The deposit on my first car was £2000. Paying it by debit card seemed wrong. I felt handing over a wad of £2000 was the right thing to do.

Rather than getting £200 a day from the ATM until I had the £2000. I telephoned the bank HQ and had to give them a password. I then could go into the local branch collect the readies.

For some reason they wouldn't let me use "Robbery" as a password.
(Yellow Car is now red, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:46, Reply)

Wad
Personally, it must have been about £1,500 when I went to buy a motorbike. The town where the Bike Shop was didn't have a branch of my bank (if they did I couldn't find it) so I withdrew the cash, then caught the train so I could ride the bike back. I stuffed the cash inside a carrier bag which I then stuffed inside my crash helmet. I figured that if anyone cottoned on and tried to grab it I could either bash them on the head with it or put it on my head and run away.

Another story involves a friend, but I was there at the time. We were working for a local transport museum, me, Simon and Dave who was the Treasurer. This was a couple of weeks after their big annual event, which takes place in a field and as well as admission prices, they sell several hundred gallons of beer.

So one lunchtime Dave announces he's off to the bank, and invites us along for the walk. We assume he's paying in some petty cash, or getting some beer money for that evening's session. We walk three abreast and Dave is carrying his lunchbox (one of those coolbag types) and not taking his eyes off it. We go to the bank and Dave goes up to the counter with a paying-in slip. He gives it to the cashier whose eyes widen. He then opens his lunchbox and proceeds to pull out a wad of cash held together with an elastic band. It was tightly wedged in the lunchbox and is so fat it won't fit through the hole in the glass so the cashier had to open the large window to pass it through.

When we left the bank Simon asked Dave how much was there. "Oh, about £15,000" replies Dave. He didn't tell us before because he wanted us to "act natural" whilst walking to the bank. If we knew there was £15,000 in the bag we might draw attention to ourselves. After that we went for a well-earned pint, when you could still get three and change from a fiver.
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:38, Reply)

Summer job
i had a summer job at a racing circuit and it would get very busy. when it was busy we'd rush from vehicle to vehicle and stuff the ticket money into little canvas fishing bags we had. if it was windy, the odd 10 or 20 would blow away but it was more important to keep the traffic flowing than chase 20 quid. At the end of a shift, we'd pour all the cash onto a huge table and then count it.

Most i had was 12 grand in a bag.

with cash like this floating about, the temptation to help yourself was huge. within 4 weeks i was the longest serving member of staff as everyone else had been caught with their hand in the till.

oh, the other stafff were all old women and one sales rep guy who was thoroughly disgraced when caught with 400 quid in his y fronts.
( jocko doesn't want a signature, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:32, Reply)

About £60,000
I used to work for a bank and one of my jobs was refilling the cash machines of the branch I was in in central Manchester. We had a cash centre beneath the building where all of the cash for the city centre was stored and I regularly had to go down there, get a few shrink-wrapped bricks of £10s and £20s, then go and fill the machines up. Each time a machine was filled it had about £30,000 in it and this would usually last about a day.

There was also another building over the road which had its own machines and I had to fill those too. Thankfully I didn't have to leg it over the road - we had a very nice tunnel between the buildings which not many people outside of the bank knew about.
(nasalhair The Twix guy!, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:31, Reply)

I used to do banking at a place i used to work
averaged about £1000-1500 per day in cash. But I twice got to count the end of the week which amounted to £11000ish.

Then I had to take a bag full of cash (and about 5 billion coins - weighed a tonne) round to the safe at the back, avoiding customers as need be. (we were a shop in a shop).

Not really that interesting, but I thought i'd get in there - as you do
( SocialRobot, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:31, Reply)

I pay my rent in cash...
So about £350 every single month.

Other than that I once got given £400 in prize money whilst completely slaughtered. How I managed to (a) Find somewhere willing to accept £50 notes and (b) Not spend the lot getting trollied is beyond me.

All other large purchases are done with these handy several grand in a pocket devices commonly refered too as cards.
(mehmeh 0% witty, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:28, Reply)

Not me but my dad...
...has carried about £20million in cheques in a suitcase.
Seems the standard practice at the Bank of England for clearing cheques was to send someone to a mutual clearing house where all the banks would meet up and swap the relevant cheques.

One day they got a cheque for over £1million (big money back then!) which was for a company purchase by Phillips. They photocopied it and put it through twice.... that's accountant humour for you.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:25, Reply)

£2,500 in used 10s and 20s, stuffed in a carrier bag
...although I would like to apologise to the convenience store cashier. Still, it was only a water pistol.
( smokey bobinson westing by musket and sexton, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:21, Reply)

Newcastle with a £6.5k clevage...
... recently bought a car from Newcastle Upon Tyne, however I live in Devon.

Drove to Watford in my parents car, then got a 6am train to London, brekky in McDonalds by Kings Cross station and then train up to Newcastle. Ride on the metro and eventually met the car seller.

The whole time my gf kept the £6400 stuffed in her bra. Lets just say she looked like porn star for 1 day ;-)

Moral of the story, be calm and try not to look like someone carrying a load of cash. Also keep it somewhere your average mugger wont look or run off with.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:18, Reply)

When i was 17 i worked in italy
on a 1 per cent of the (apres ski - Gallis, Livigno) bar wage basis, this place was REALLY busy and i was expecting a lot, as you didn´t get paid until the end of the season/when you quit as you had tips and you could take a sub whenever you wanted, this is common for overseas workers in italy.
I quit and decided to have five days off, so i went to see the old italian owner and he handed me a piece of paper, and this being the good old lira days, a lot of 0´s were on it
guess how much i was paid -
8 million lira (between 2000 - 3000 pounds!)

which was kept in my shoe as I went out EVERY night (with a slight limp),and got pissed enjoying the resort fionally as i hadn´t hada day off for about three and a half months, my od idid i enjoy myself.
I then travelled to Milan (a Boody dangerous city) and spent the night and flew home the next day.

I got home and emptied my shoe, my god did it stink!
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:18, Reply)

Carrier bag security
About a yesr ago when I bought my house, I needed to transfer £35k from an account at my building society to the current account at my bank, and it needed to be done by the end of the working day.

I called the building society to tell then what I wanted to do, and they offered to do some electronic transfer thingummy for about £30. I declined their kind offer, reckoning I could do it myself for free. After clearing with them that I was allowed to withdraw that much, I went down to the branch.

Here I withdraw all £35k (in twenties - the cunts), stuck it in my high-security inconspicuous carrying device (a HMV carrier bag), and walked the half mile down the high street to my bank, where I paid it all in.

There's nothing at all unusual about someone walking down a high street with a carrier bag, so I wasn't even worthy of a second glance.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:16, Reply)

LSD makes you think funny
Once at the end of an evening of tripping my tits off on some rather strong acid, I headed home by taxi and had to stop for cash on the way. I used all my cards and withdrew about £1200 from the machine, whilst smiling to myself happy that I now had lots of paper tokens which I could exchange for any goods or services I might require before going to bed.

On arriving home I paid for the taxi, headed upstairs and after half an hour of watching TV retired for the night with all my "tokens" still in my pockets. Plus I still had my mate's front door keys, because keys are objects of power and I'd forgotten he might need them in the morning. I am only grateful I didn't think to stop at a supermarket.
( wangmaster2000, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:14, Reply)

I had my bank account used for money laundering
Which was nice. I phoned my bank and said "Look, I've no idea if this money is mine or not. It's feasible it might be" - since this was the time of the dotcom boom I was getting some odd amounts of money in there every now and then.

photos.garysmith.org.uk/c14888.html for those who don't believe me (the highest point was £87k available for withdrawal).

Since money was also exiting my account with regularity that I didn't actually authorise, the bank told me to withdraw the money and hang on to it, and they'd sort it all out from there. I wasn't allowed to spend it, just ensure I had what I needed.

So I was walking around one of the not-really-that-nice areas of Leicester with 28 grand in my back pocket as I tried to find another bank to open an account with. Oddly, most High Street banks need to refer to the local police station when someone walks in wanting to deposit 28 grand in used 10s & 20s.
( shadyron, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:14, Reply)

not much, but enough
i had to take £2k from a company i was contracted with for cash expenses. It wasn't insured so I'd be paying for it if i lost it.
Problem - home was via a very hairy part of Vauxhall, and my bag had no zip. So I did the only sensible thing.
Cash in the bottom of the bag, heaviest office paperweight on top of it - violá, cash is now instant smackdown weapon.
Then pull out my mobile, a shit one (perfect) and hold it to my ear. Then start shouting down it. Very loudly. And angrily.
Then I start running to the station.
You would be surprised how many dodgy types will eagerly make way for a tiny sprinting woman screaming expletives at a fictional assistant down a phone.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:11, Reply)

i bought an MG midget
it seemed like a good idea t the time, but the thing was a wreck. I only found this out some months after, when things started dropping off - and i then got taken to the cleaners by a classic car repair specialist, or crook as they are known for short.

anyway, i went to the bank and got out 2500 english pounds to take to exchange for the soon to be my heap of shi'ite.

£2500. i also got paranoid, and while not stuffing the wad in my pants, i was a bit worried. i bought the car with no problems tho

i sold the car for 700 quid a year later, after spending upwards of two grand on it.

not the best investment i ever made.




in fact, this could have been an answer to last weeks QOTW
(magictorch, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:10, Reply)

cashier
I once worked as at the till in the local supermarket, and on a good day i had 26.000 dkr (appr 2600£), there where quite strict control so i didn't gave myself a payrise though...

POP! Here was my first - and i can't think of any brilliant length/girth joke...

edit: i'll never win a spelling contest - first page wooo!
(Atheist, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:05, Reply)

Fourteen years old
Sold my flute for £240 quid. I have never again in my life seen this much cold hard cash.

Parents weren't happy though- still had a term's worth of pre-paid flute lessons to go.
(oranguturn, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:04, Reply)

Not me but my friend used to work there.;.
It used to be the case (not sure if it still is) that in Egypt you wouldn't get your salary transfered to a bank account but given to you in cash. Payday being on the same day for lots of people, muggers and beggars cottoned on and that day was jokingly referred to as Doomsday because all hell broke loose as people tried to get home.

He never got mugged though, so i couldn't post it last week.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:03, Reply)

First page
Woo! Now for a story. Having to carry nigh on £1000 in cash for rent at uni is no fun. Thank God for fifties.

Also, I used to work in a VAT office and regularly used to handle checks for £10k and upwards. Very daunting for a 16yo.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 22 Jun 2006, 11:02, Reply)

3rd post! teh w00t! Edit/ Gah! mugged for it.
Actually I don't really have a story.

Although I do regularly walk around with absurd pda/phone thing (so absurd that I'm answering this on it), ipod, wallet, and obscenely expensive sunglasses on (they were a present). I'm like a mugger's dream. Though that was last week, so I thought I'd get in early for this one

sorry bout length and rambleness, but i'm trying to take my mind off the fact i'm going to fail my a-level this afternoon...
(Quantum Sheep was going to type something clever here...but...oh, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 10:52, Reply)

Not mine, sadly
Banking for work. Though I did consider buying a "round the world" ticket and disappearing...
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 10:50, Reply)

Bahamas
Being a poker player I am regularly strutting round with big wedges of red notes. I recently went to the Bahamas and was carrying round $15k for a week after I won some money in a tournament.
(Rupert, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 10:43, Reply)

Bloody ATMS!
Once had to get around 700 euro for back rent. Only gave it to me in mostly bloody 20s. People must have thought I had a nut condition, my pockets were bulging so much.

And woo! First!
( Spunk Murphy Tchaikovsky is a synonym for fanny, apparently, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 10:42, Reply)