Inspired by BugBoyBeast's post
B&Q.

Offer the handy service of cutting wood to measure.
Put a button there for people to ring to request the service.
Then make sure that all staff are trained to ignore the ring of the bell.
Make sure you put this section as far from customer service as possible.
( Mrs Liveinabin is the only person left who uses indicators, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 23:59, Reply)

That sounds like my experience of the Oxford B&Q
Although I imagine they have similarly high standards across the entire B&Q chain.
(Capo, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 9:06, Reply)

At Homebase you get 10% off
if they take more than two minutes to respond to a customer bell.
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 14:40, Reply)

So they cut it undersize?
Just cos they are pissed off that you`ve moaned.
(tootired to be be bothered., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 19:23, Reply)

And then some Chimp
arrives and says 'sorry, I'm not trained on that'
(Kip has made it into the QOTW Fail Archive, Yay!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 11:30, Reply)