When I first moved to China,
I was in a small town (only about a million people), teaching English at a university. I had a nice apartment on campus, the refectory had nice meals so everything was fine and manageable, except that I was the only foreigner there. For a month I didn't really have anyone else to have some downtime with - I made some friends amongst the students and teachers, but you know how it is, you want some people with the same kind of background and assumptions to relax with.

Finally this guy appeared - another Western male! - a teacher in the same building as me. I bumped into him just outside, and it'd been so long since I'd since another western guy that I was all friendly like a university fresher desperately trying to make chums to ward off the homesickness and social anxiety. "Yes, come round some time!" I said, pointing to my apartment.

This guy though, turned out to be the douchiest douche I've ever met. I hadn't known too many Jewish people before: this guy was a prototypical New York Jew. I have nothing against Yids, but it turned out this guy embodied every negative Jewish stereotype you could imagine. He was a flaming tightwad - every day at the canteen he had somehow "forgotten his mealcard" and would hang around waiting for someone to buy him lunch. (Meanwhile he would brag about how he was smart with his money and how much he saved). He was a mummy's boy (despite being about forty), unable to look after himself properly (as suggested by his constantly dirty hair and clothes).

What else? He wore a woman's coat in winter. He could not spell (quite a problem WHEN YOU'RE TEACHING ENGLISH). His manner with female students and teachers was lecherous. (I had to show him how to watch DVD files on his computer, and couldn't help but notice the vast array of Asian porn he had). He got worse as the year went on (and as other teachers refused to hang around with him). One time he asked students from one of his classes to help him buy a cellphone. Sure, they said. At the store, they helped him pick one out and go through the bureaucratic hurdles of registering. When it was time to pay, he said, "So... are you guys going to help me buy it?" He wanted them to chip in to buy it for him. The students were mostly children of peasant farmers struggling to provide their only child with a better life. Another time, he went out to the local nightclub with one of his students (presumably from another class). The university would lock the doors to the student dormitories after 11pm, so a few beers in he said the student could stay at his apartment. They got back, he makes a meal... and doesn't offer any to the student. Same at breakfast time.

What a schmuck.
(McChinaman banned, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 12:42, 20 replies)

so which is closest to a human being : a yid or a chink?

(alright alright, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 13:02, closed)

typical jew

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 13:17, closed)

I've got nothing against Yids. Or niggers. Or Chinkies. Or Pakis. The irony.
(jezzerh what do I put here?.., Sun 22 Sep 2013, 13:59, closed)

So, what else did he do to this student?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 14:02, closed)

I know some right tightwads too. I didn't realise they were jewish though. Thanks for the heads-up.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 22 Sep 2013, 14:43, closed)

I don't know what amazes more,
you getting good food in China, or you feeling you had to mention your colleague's religion.

I can't spell for shit, but manage to teach English by taking a dictionary to class.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 18:13, closed)

His religion is pertinent to the story.
It would be the same if he was a drunk Scotsman screaming "FUCKING ENGLISH POOFS!" or a redneck American telling us why 'Merica is the GREATEST country IN THE WORLD, etc.
(McChinaman banned, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 20:06, closed)

It's only pertinent to the story if you're racist.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 20:29, closed)

Typical jew.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 22 Sep 2013, 20:48, closed)

Scotchness and redneckism are religions?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 22 Sep 2013, 20:34, closed)

Of course they are.
Do you think all that collective specious nonsense they believe is philosophy?
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 21:07, closed)

I always assumed Scotishness was genetic, like ginger hair or cystic fibrosis.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 22 Sep 2013, 22:44, closed)

In the same way Jehovah's Witnesses are born daft

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 15:46, closed)

Alien eggs?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:22, closed)

Am I missing something?
Very possible. But... some of the best food I've had in these [far too many] years has been in China. I'd go back just for that.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 22:53, closed)

I'll give Chinese food hotpot, which is fantastic.
But, other than that, I've always found it to be oily gristle, bones, strange offal and arthropods. It's the literally swimming in grease bit that gets me.

I've always felt South East Asia wins in the food stakes.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 14:41, closed)

Depends the type of Chinese food I guess.
I love Xinjiang and Jiangsu food, but hate Sichuan and not fond of Cantonese.
(McChinaman banned, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:51, closed)

Which region leaves you most comfortable with your anti-Semitism?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:56, closed)

"I can't be antisemitic, one of my worst enemies is Jewish!"
In fairness, the guy in the story does sound like a right cunt.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 22 Sep 2013, 19:32, closed)

Hmmm

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 1:28, closed)