Exterminate!
*Whooooooorp! Whoooooooorp!*

A blue telephone box materializes, bearing the legend "Police". The door opens slightly and out steps a friendly, slightly eccentric chap (who bears an uncanny resemblance to a well known Newcastle based B3tan) in a red waistcoat and long flappy coat, followed by his lovely assistant, originally from the planet Swearo, who stubs her foot unseen on the door and yells "Ouch! I've just cunted my toe in the fuck!"

Who are these mysterious, yet comfortingly familiar strangers? Do they have any relevance to this story?

Of course they do, they're here to pad out a repost from one of my first ever QOTW efforts.

Read on...

A few years back I got chatting to a friend of a friend at a wedding, who told me the most harrowing tale.

He'd been an enthusiastic user of psychedelic drugs in his younger years, but one fateful night out proved to be his final dalliance with LSD.

The long and short (if only!) of this introduction was that he ended up dragged along to a nightclub after imbibing acid and was seriously not enjoying himself. In the throes of a bad trip he cuts his losses and wisely, he decided to ditch the club and head home as quickly as possible.

However, the closer to home he got, the worse the trip and he eventually fell into a complete psychedelic meltdown.

He witnessed some terrifying visions, the worst of which was when he was chased into an alleyway by a horde of marauding Daleks. Faced with a brick wall dead end, he drops to his knees and pleads for his life, but still the evil Daleks kept coming for him.

He arrived at his flat, soaked in sweat before bolting the front door and closing the curtains. So shaken up was he that he didn't leave his flat until the following Monday morning when he left for work, still traumatised.

Funny thing was, that the Dalek episode seemed so real... Must have been bad acid.

Our hero's confusion is resolved when he picks up the local newspaper on his way to the office.

Upon reading the headline it all became clearer.... The shortcut past the back of the town hall... Being trapped in an alleyway by Daleks...

Turned out he'd had the misfortune to be running past the back of the town hall, just as the exhibits from the weekend's Dr Who convention were being unloaded from the back of a van.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 3 Jul 2008, 16:47, 6 replies)

*click*
nothing like a guest appearance in a fellow b3tan's tale...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 16:56, closed)

*click*
I did wonder if a certain DG might have been the hapless young man in question. Haven't been here as long as you, you see.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:12, closed)

why DO people
go to nightclubs on acid?

Can't think of anything more bad-trip inducing than hundreds of drunken morons shouting over the top of ultra-loud (and likely shite) music...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 17:17, closed)

Don't forget to tune in next week
The doctor and his assistant travel to present day London to take on their most fearsome opponents yet, the terrifying Ineptiods.

Witness the mean Darloid, who slaps a seven millennia retrospective tax on the TARDIS. Can the Doctor save the day, or will he have to part ex the TARDIS for a Portaloo?

Hide behind the sofa as Blearzoid loses the Doctor's bank records as another laptop PC is nicked from her unlocked office. Will the dastardly cybermen hack enough money out of the Doctor's account to go out on the piss?

Finally, tremble in fear as the Doctor regenerates into Diane Abbott in the final battle with the evil Red Harmorhoid, as it leaglizes discrimination against Caucasian male Timelords...

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 3 Jul 2008, 18:42, closed)

Oddly enough
The spouse and I were talking about this a few nights ago. I read it to him the first time it was posted and it was a good few minutes before he could stop laughing. No doubt he'll have the same reaction this time.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 21:40, closed)

*clicky*
I am honoured to make a guest appearance ;o)

*blushes and scuffs feet bashfully*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 13:24, closed)