Urban LegendsI'm ashamed to admit it, but I fell for the "Bob Holness played the saxophone on Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street" story some years back. It just seemed so right. I still want it to be true.
What have you fallen for, or even better, what legends have you started?
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chthonic, Thu 5 Jan 2006, 16:02)
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Legless I - about the overzealous dentist......not sure if we're talking about the same one, but do I know of one from personal experience. Even I find it difficult to believe now but this is no bullshit, I swear on my life.
When I was 18 or so, I visited a dentist near to where we were living at the time* thinking one of my wisdom teeth was playing up. He sent me away with antibiotics for a week and when I came back he took not one, not two, but fucking three of my wisdom teeth - UNDER LOCAL ANAESTHETIC. I only learned years later that this was definitely not the done thing. I was just starting to slip into shock** when he had finished and the fucker showed them to me, informing me that he was going to sell them to the dental school. I was too fucked-up by this time to speak, let alone give him the beating he deserved. As I went back into the waiting room, one bloke there took one look at me and made straight for the door - had I been capable, I'd have told everyone else to do the same. I remember there was a little girl there with her mum too, thinking back - fuck me :|
My mum had come with me, initially against my wishes, but I'm glad she did as she damn-near carried me home. We passed by my brother's place on the way where he saw us through the window and came bounding out to us with a face like thunder - 'Who the fuck did that to him?' - he thought I'd been beaten up.
Suffice to say I never set foot in there again, but noticed as I passed a year or so later that the place had been boarded up. Good fucking riddance.
AFTERTHOUGHT: Hey, does that mean I star in my very own urban legend then? Cool :)
* St Helens Junction, for reference - just let the cunt try to sue me, assuming he hasn't been struck off by now - if I ever get within reach of him again I'm going to make sure he can never wrap his hands around one of those hook-type implements again. Shady fucker.
** And yes, I knew how that felt enough to recognise it even then, more's the pity. Life's been a fucker to me at times, but there's a balance of good stuff too so I'm not bitter. Vengeful in some cases perhaps, but not bitter :)
(, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 9:35, Reply)
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