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This is a question Useless advice

As a new parent, people seem to think it's OK to pass on any and every old wives tale possible. "Don't hug him too much". What? Quite what possesses people to pass on baseless, idiotic, useless advice I don't know.

That said, I quite often give car drivers directions and then, after they've moved off, realise that I've sent them down a bike-only route, so I can give as good as I get.

What useless advice have you been given (or handed out) recently?

(, Thu 19 Oct 2006, 10:29)
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Some weird American bloke with a big nose & funny hair told me this:
Look out kid
Its somethin you did
God knows when
But youre doin it again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin for a new friend
The man in the coon-skin cap
In the pig pen
Wants eleven dollar bills
You only got ten

Look out kid
Dont matter what you did
Walk on your tip toes
Dont try no doz
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose
Keep a clean nose
Watch the plain clothes
You dont need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows

Get sick, get well
Hang around a ink well
Ring bell, hard to tell
If anything is goin to sell
Try hard, get barred
Get back, write braille
Get jailed, jump bail
Join the army, if you fail

Look out kid
Youre gonna get hit
But losers, cheaters
Six-time users
Hang around the theaters
Girl by the whirlpool
Lookin for a new fool
Dont follow leaders
Watch the parkin meters

Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Dont steal, dont lift
Twenty years of schoolin
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Dont wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Dont wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump dont work
cause the vandals took the handles



And I STILL have to get up in the morning.
(, Thu 19 Oct 2006, 11:57, closed)

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