In hindsight
Buying a twelve pack of Durex at the age of fourteen seems a little presumptuous and not particularly good value. If I recall they were mostly very pricey water bombs.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:08, 6 replies)

Great
For a posh wank though!!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:10, closed)

Saves on Kleenex I guess

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 17:13, closed)

If your mum was anything like mine
then i got a pat on the pack for trying them out, very embarrising though. I mean it wasn't as though I had any opprotunities to make babies at 14, a chance would have been a fine thing!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 10:17, closed)

Your mum gave you a pat on the back?
While you were trying them out? O_o

Missionary position was it?
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:48, closed)

The only thing my mum would have patted
Would have been her heart as it stopped working!
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 1 Oct 2010, 23:22, closed)

I can't even recall which...
... school this was. Probably in Leighton Buzzard (The Cedars).

I put a condom on the external door handle, and our geography teacher (a newly-graduated pretty, young thing) wouldn't touch it, so we got the lesson for free.

Then there was a chat I had with the about-to-retire female English teacher, mother to one of our classmates, as out of the corner of one eye I could see the water-filled condom sitting on top of the credenza. It was enormous, like a beached beluga whale. The way it rippled and seemed to breathe was fascinating, and I couldn't take my eyes off it. Of course she noticed, but was a jolly good sport about it, asking me who had done it, with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips. I told her I had no idea, but secretly wanted to confess that I had filled it and was about to drop it out of the window onto the head of an arsehole.

Condoms are fun, kiddies!
(Large Hardon Collider Bah Bloody Humbug, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 21:16, closed)