Gone Fishing....
I used to be the proud owner of a wee cabin cruiser, the Tight-Alnwick. It sunk, but that's another story.

One night, me and my mates were in the pub having a few beers and talking about the fishing trip me and Andy were going on the next day. We'd be getting up at 5 so we could catch the tide so we were me and Andy said our goodbyes and prepared to go.

"Don't forget to make my sandwiches" I said to the ex who was staying behind in the pub.

"What?" hissed Andy's missus "You make him *sandwiches*?"

"Of course" said the ex - "It's what proper women do for their men"

Me and Andy left as steam leaked quietly from his missus ears......

Next day, I met Andy down by the boat and we loaded our gear in. Andy was grinning like a wanking Jap.

"Look at this" He smirked, pulling open his rucksack "Missus got up with me and made me all this stuff" pointing to sandwiches, a flask of coffee and a couple of kitkats.

"10 years we've been together and this is the first time she's ever made me bait.....Mind - it was made with venom. She was hacking to tomatoes to death muttering "I'll show them what a proper woman is.."".

So we set sail. An hour later we anchored offshore and started fishing. We had a pleasant morning. Caught a few, lost a few and had a few laughs. Around 8 we had a bite to eat and again at 11. About 12 Andy's mobile rang. It was his missus. He chatted for a few minutes then looked at me and said:

"She wants to know what you think of the sandwiches. Are they what a *proper* woman would do?"

I grabbed the phone from Andy.

"You didn't cut the crusts off" and pressed end.

We were 4 miles out in the bay. We could hear the banshee shriek from where we were.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 3 Nov 2012, 0:43, Reply)