WeddingsAttending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us your wedding stories.
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chthonic, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
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Fight!You can't have a decent wedding unless there's a fight, especailly if it's a shotgun wedding between two families who would happily kill each other given half the chance.
So, the wife's sex-crazed uncle manages to get the office slapper (some thirty years his junior) up the duff, and he's forced up the aisle for the second time in his life.
The reception goes off with an undercurrent of barely repressed aggression, which gets worse when the bride's gluttonous family clears the entire buffet within five minutes.
Then, the disco, and the unfortunate drunken pummelling of somebody's granny. The two sides came together like the armies at Stalingrad, and the youth club floor swam with blood.
It took three coppers to nail the bride's mum, and a set of false teeth sat unclaimed in the middle of the dance floor.
And the music played on: "Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon..."
Best. Wedding. Ever.
Length/girth ratio maintained.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 18 Jul 2005, 13:25,
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