ssshhhiiiIIIIIIIiiiiiittttt
His name was Paul. While not technically in my class, he was in my year in middle school. So when the year goes on a school trip to Lyons, France, the rest of us have to put up with him and his strange odours.

Now, the dorms we were staying in were arranged so that there was a long corridor, and the dorm rooms were all down one side. At the end of the corridor were two toilets. One morning we are all getting ready for the day ahead in the rooms when we hear (with full doppler effect):

_....ssssssssssSHHHIIIIiiiiii_iittt......

and we look up to see Paul legging it past the doors looking somewhat panicked. Naturally we all stick our heads out the doors and watch as he legs it down the corridor and out the doors at the end. We look back the other way to see what could have spooked him so, just in time to see one of the toilets...bubbling over. A brown liquid was pouring out the top of the bowl accompanied by the odd bubbling and gurgling noise. Then it surfaced. The mother of all turds rose out of the water like an alligator stalking its prey, then promptly slopped over the side with a wet splat. It was then carried by a small wave of brown water along the length of the corridor as we all scrambled for higher ground. The turd sailed, almost gracefully past the doors before butting up against the exit doors at the end of the corridor. Oddly I can't remember how we managed to get out of the dorms that day. I must have blocked that experience out.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 17:20, Reply)