Common And Proud
Our run down comprehensive school had a slight staff shortage so one day we turned up for a french lesson to be greeted by a very young looking substitute teacher. She was very well spoken to the point where, to us common northerners, she sounded pretty much like the queen. She was obviously slumming it, moonlighting from her day job teaching little princes and princesses at some upper class boarding school. She also had a comedy Jonathan Woss style speech impediment.

Inevitably the class got more and more out of hand. It began by replying to everything she said with "spiffing!" and then people started calling her Miss. Farqhaur Poncenby Smythe. It quickly denigrated to the point where several people just kept shouting things out at her. After asking "Could Daddy buy us all ponies as well?" we hit upon the obvious and asked her is she wouldn't mind awfully "Weleasing Woger".

This turned out to be the straw that broke the camel's back. She slammed her books down on the desk and, in the momentary silence, screamed in an accent suitable for royal visits "If you lot don't settle down I'm going to give you extwa pwep!"

The shocked silence lasted for roughly two seconds before everyone burst out laughing. The catcalls continued as before but now with the occasional "What the fuck is extwa pwep?" and the one noticeable incident where someone screamed "Look out! It's an extwa pwep!" and dived under their desk to avoid this mythical beast.

Don't get ideas above your station love, its called homework. Or, at the very least, homewowk.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 11 Nov 2005, 11:09, Reply)