What an ogre!
While on the way to a party at a clubhouse, a friend and myself were completely lost. We figured the best course of action was to phone up direct enquries, then the clubhouse itself and ask for directions.

The barman was less than helpful, as he didn't have a clue where we were. So, I kindly asked him to put one of our friends on the phone who had already arrived. However, this proved to be a problem as the place was full and the Barman asked me to be more specific.

"His name is Gary" I said, figuring this was specific enough.

Off the barman goes, then 5 minutes later he comes back and says he can't find him. I figure that I really need to be specific this time so I give as good a description as I can.

"He's big, fat, ugly, wears a denim jacket, has crap hair etc etc"

Off the barman goes, but again no luck, Gary is no where to be found. By this time I'm thinking it's probably better to give up.

"Oh, for fuck sake...umm...well" I mutter.

at this point my mate takes the phone from me and says to the barman

"he looks like shrek."

We hear laughter down the phone, then the barman composes himself and says "Oh right, just a sec".

a couple of seconds later I hear Gary's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hey, it's Gary, what do you want?"

Much laughter follows. I couldn't believe that the barman had actually found him cos of that.

Guess what Gary's nickname is now?
( Regger, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:55, Reply)