Thrush + Oral = Unpleasant
Many years ago, while I was at Art School, I had a crush on a young lady in my year. Eventually we were both single and hooked up at a party, ended up round a friends house in bed together.

She was very pretty, but lived in what amounted to a squat really with lots of the more hippy/traveller contingent of the College ("man, I just sculpt with faeces, it's a way of coming to terms with my third breast/petrified bollock/swinging gay parents/etc /etc").

This wasn't taken into account when I went down on her to find out that they didn't appear to shower in their particular squat, or at least not very often. Her bits were a little "high" to say the least, a bit like a Pheasant that’s been left to hang for too long I suppose (minus the maggots).

Anyway, very unpleasant, little chap lost interest and decided to have a snooze, I made excuses and we gave up trying to shag. I managed to brush my teeth and after a while we got it together, minus the oral, and that was that.

Until a few days later when I noticed my knob was very itchy and looked like I had sprinkled handfuls of Parmesan on it. I realised I had thrush.

I then also got oral thrush a day or so later. Fantastic, not sure if it's possible to get oral thrush from clam kissing, but the whole experience left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth (sorry) and a couple of years of approaching any ladybits with great trepidation, much sniffing, taste testing and eventually engagement.

Grim, grim , grim.

(My cheesy knob was, obviously, perfect and smelt like an English rose garden in Summer. Of this I have no doubt.)
(King Baldie, Fri 15 Jun 2007, 15:25, Reply)