I wasn't going to bother, but...
After a heavy night in the pub I'd gone back to someone's house for more drinks. It's all a bit hazy but I ended up locked in with a lass I didn't even fancy (think that witch from chorlton and the wheelies). I must've thought "well, why not" so we get down to it in the living room in someone else's house.

What I do remember is me trying to work her up a bit with my fingers and her saying "just fucking stick it in".

The next thing I can remember is being stood in the bathroom with blood everywhere and in a very sorry mood. She'd manage to snap by banjo string.

Vague silver lining is that she said "it's your own fault for being too big". It's grown back a little but it's nowt like what it was.

edit: The next day I had to apologise to the house owner for the blood on the living room carpet. Fortunately she took it in good humour.
( cowjam est dulce et decorum, Mon 18 Jun 2007, 11:02, closed)