****QOTW QUESTION HIJACK****
What was the best present you got for Christmas this year?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 4 Jan 2016, 7:44, 1 reply)

The pirate is placed into a spring-loaded barrel and rotated to randomize the unlucky slot. Players must take it in turns to insert plastic swords into slots in the side of the barrel. If a player inserts the sword into a specific slot (which changes randomly every time the game is played), the pirate is launched out of the barrel and the player is out. The last player remaining after all others have been knocked out wins.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 3 Jan 2016, 23:38, 1 reply)

TED talks r cool

( $$ ✅, Sun 3 Jan 2016, 16:35, 4 replies)

one time on b3ta
The mods kept the Christmas question open until twelfth night!

God bless us one and all
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 3 Jan 2016, 16:01, Reply)

I went to France once

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 3 Jan 2016, 15:02, Reply)

plastic wendy house
i moaned for months for one of those cheap-arse plastic tent-looking wendy houses when i was about 7. christmas morning, there it was in the hall, all set up.
my cousin leaned out of the window 2 hours later and ripped it right down the side. my christmas present instantly went from great to shit with duct tape.
cunt.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 1 Jan 2016, 16:57, 5 replies)

When I was five
I wanted a batmobile, the one from the Adam West batman show. I didn't get it, and when I cried because I didn't get it, my dad beat me. He got the belt and beat me on Christmas.

This year, my wife got me that batmobile for Christmas, and no one beat me. 30 years later.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Fri 1 Jan 2016, 1:48, Reply)

IT'S not CHRIIIIISSSSSSSTTTTTMMMMAAAAAASSSS!!!!!!!!

( Zuowan, Wed 30 Dec 2015, 15:25, 1 reply)

top tip:
Remove the plastic packaging from the Christmas pudding before pouring the brandy and lighting it. We had to scape ours free from burnt gunk before eating.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 27 Dec 2015, 13:12, 5 replies)

Driving home with my dog one Christmas Eve
There was a brief period of snow, which melted and refroze and became very slick. At one point, traffic stopped. We got out of the vehicle and tried to walk a short distance, but the pavement was too icy, so we got back in and kept driving. Apparently authorities closed the highway, but through some inefficiency we never got word, so soon we were driving alone through a wilderness of abandoned and jackknifed vehicles. All human beings had somehow vanished. It was as if Santa and his Reindeer had brought forth The Rapture, and it was all very spooky.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 24 Dec 2015, 18:41, Reply)

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 24 Dec 2015, 9:51, 11 replies)

Christmas Day 2009 - when I was still drinking. A very sad but thankfully short story in just 4 words
Missed calls
Mum: 35
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 24 Dec 2015, 7:50, 11 replies)

It's Christmas Eve today
And so far at work I'm going to be

-assist extracting 2 teeth out
-help perform a root canal or pop an abscess
-prescriptions

So lots of red, white and gold/ green for me!
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 24 Dec 2015, 7:36, Reply)

Hospital violence
Does December the 23rd count?

I'm currently a patient on a hospital ward and we're all listening to some bloke going absolutely bat shit crazy in one of the side rooms. Two security guards have been posted outside his door for the last few days, 24/7. The guards today would shit up WWF wrestlers in their physical size, I shit you not and both are ex military. Both are wearing bullet proof jackets and all dressed al in black with walkies strapped to their chests and cameras .... oh hang on, an even bigger one's just arrived with a sinister looking metal device that might be a taser? .. and I've just been told I might have to stay here for another week. I've had more festive Christmas's to be honest.
(Swafty, Wed 23 Dec 2015, 20:06, 3 replies)