oh and the other one
well this was some fat ugly mental wannabie goth spide whore.

I just told her that my mother wanted beautiful grandchildren, so as she had no chance of supplying them, then that was that.
(Finn_coyote, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 5:52, Reply)

via the post
things were going swimmingly, or so i thought. protestations of love all round. usual 20 year old lovers gush.
boy did i get a shock when i returned from a week's worth of visit to my folks to find bf spectatcularly not where i'd left him. his flatmate took particular glee in showing me the postcard they'd got from him in australia saying having a nice time, wish you were here, tell pete i've dumped him.
was all confirmed a week later when photo arrived in email of him inflagrante with another bloke.

(in case you were wondering, bit of an arse bender here)
(fushundchups taste better with vinegar, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 5:12, Reply)

run of the mill winter dumpage
i was going out this lassie (my first ever girlfriend who i absolutely adored)for the summer hols and we decided to keep seeing each other even though i was heading off for uni and she was still at school for the next year.

All was good sexwise, laughwise, funwise and at the christmas break I headed back to my hometown for three weeks of student holiday fun with her....only for her to tell me on about the second day back that she'd 'slept' with another boy.

Now i wasn't sure if she only slept with him or if she'd shagged him but i just had to dump her. Then i walked home crying as it snowed. I fancied her for about 18 months afterwards too and i still can't think of anything bad to say about her 10 years later.
(mercators projection, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 5:10, Reply)

Spectacular breakup
I dumped my girlfriend pretty spectacularly- she'd come over to England from her native Denmark for Christmas with my family. After lunch I dumped her and on Boxing day I put her on a coach to Copenhagen. I haven't seen or heard of her since. In fact, nobody has...
(junglejim, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 4:33, Reply)

ah, first love
being the unbeleivable sad person that i am i have only had one boyfriend. our relationship was going along splendidly (well, to me anyways) when one day on a long walk along the school campus our conversation goes as follows:
him: so...we're friends, right?
me: of course!
him: can we just stay friends, nothing more?
me: mrrrph
him: look! there's your friend. let's go talk to her.

i went and cried for the next seven months and he went on to find a prettier, sluttier girl than me.

bastard.
(sponch!, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 4:30, Reply)

Sayonara
My boyfriend let me know of our break up in a rather stunning fashion.

One day out of the blue, after a year or so together, he called me from the airport and told me he had decided to pack up and move to Japan. 8 o'clock flight to Narita. He figured that leaving without saying goodbye would have been mean.

Er, goodbye?
(kitsune, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 4:29, Reply)

Also
Friend of mine found out his long distance boyfriend had been faking it just so he could piss off his parents. We had plans to watch The Lion in Winter that night and I had to come up with some bollock excuse why I wasn't available so as not to make things worse.

Poor bastard. I still feel really bad about that.
(DeadCats, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 4:27, Reply)

From childhood
It's kind of reversed, but I had incentive.

I was about eight or something, but I was hanging out with my semi-boyfriend (just a kid thing) in his hot tub. We were talking about the loch ness monster and for some reason, he got really mad I didn't believe in the loch ness monster, so he slapped me. I stared at him in disbelief before climbing out for chocolate mousse. He just sulked in the tub. My swimsuit was soaked, my face hurt, and the mousse tasted like ash, but he got in a lot of trouble.

I don't think I ever spoke to him again after that. Serves him right. He was a bitch.


And speaking of bitches, my friend of two years up and dumped me last year because according to her, I'm stubborn, made no effort to keep up the friendship, and only thought of myself. Meanwhile, she never said anything when something bothered her so I never knew, avoided me like I had leprosy when I switched schools, never said anything nice no matter how much I tried to be for her, made me cry countless times, and then tried to play it off like it was for our own good. It took me a year to get over it, I was a shaky mess for the first six months, and while I sent her back her Discworld books, I have yet to get my George Carlin book back. Even after I'm polite and friendly to her at a recent birthday party. What a cu|\|t.
(DeadCats, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 4:22, Reply)

After taking an OD of antipsychotics and sleeping pills
and partaking in a vigorous spot of wrist-slitting, whilst on holiday with my girl, in order to be able to physically die so I could save humanity (who had all slowly been replaced by bizarre subdermal insects, vermin and the like), I ended being dumped by my fionsée within the walls of a mental institute.
The nurse giving me 20mg of valium as she drove off afterwards was a nice touch.
( Kallus speaks for the Spores, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 4:03, Reply)

My first and most recent break-up...
Was after five pretty uneventful (in the sense of nothing bad happening) months. I didn't know why at first, because she wouldn't tell me. Then I sort of figured it out...I had had a short fling with one of her friends before going out with her, who was coming on to me, and how could I resist that? Also, the person I had the fling with was not only cheating on her boyfreind, which I did know, but they were also engaged, which I didn't know.

When me and my girlfriend had being going out for roughly five months, the news got out and the person I had seen before my girlfiend decided it would be a good idea to deny that we we ever did anything, and so I started getting all these nice messages to "stop spreading rumors," and she probably told my girlfriend that I was a horrible person and she should break up with me immediately too boot. So there you go.
(GiantSpaceNinja, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 4:00, Reply)

this may not count but what the hell...
well let me set the scene.im 6 years old shes 8 we are at school a few weeks after my birthday (its in the holidays) and she gives me 5 bucks and a card and says to open it when i get home.so i go home open it and it says she wants to be my "freind".next day she wont stop following me even into classrooms she wasnt meant to bve in and she runs around telling my friends "i wanna kiss anonymouses willy" i told everyone she kissed the teacher on the lips and had a roomfull of action men in cases.needless to say she,also,kicked me in the nuts and spread a nasty rumour about me putting barbies in my bum.bitch.she even made my (cunt of a)dad believe i was doing the barbie thing.supercuntysmellystupiduglybitch.one more thing, emily spate if you are out there and reading this, you can eat my shit and fuck a horse!
(That guy with a hat., Fri 18 Jun 2004, 3:41, Reply)

had my imaginary partner
break up with me mid fwapping
(Armer Farmer, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 3:12, Reply)

just yesterday i was dumped for the first time in my life
Background information:
i live in north carolina, usa, on a little barrier island called 'emerald isle'.

Dramatis Personae:
Me- your humble narrator, 14 years old. i take strattera to control my ADD, and zoloft to *try* to counteract the mellowing effect of the strattera that is so extreme on me. hence, i am not shy at all and very outgoing and stupid until it comes to anything serious at which point i am diffident and shy.
Angie- the first girlfriend i've ever had. we've been a unit for nearly seven months and, although foolish teenagers we are, i think i love her. i lost my virginity to her. she is seventeen. she greatly opposes smoking, drinking, drugs, and most sex.
Curtis- an eighteen year old on vacation from ohio (a long way away-she will never see him again after this saturday, when he leaves.). he smokes and otherwise doesn't seem to responsible. his hair looks like gene wilder's from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. this is the only thing i think is cool about him.
Ricky-a friend of curtis', on vacation with him. not much of a player in this story
Ryan- Curtis' little brother
Richard- my good friend (despite his old age) next-door neighbor. i do his yard work.
Food Lion- a local grocery store
Art Camp- a little kids' morning art camp that lasts from 9:00-12:00 monday through thursday this week. I am volunteering there as a counselor.
The Pier- i live on an island, so naturally there is at least one fishing pier. this is where all the teenagers hang out, because there is nothing else to do for twenty miles.

finally, the story:
. Curtis, Ricky, and Ryan are vacationing from ohio. on sunday or monday, angie meets them at food lion, where she is working. because they listen to the same music as her, she naturally thinks they are cool. they plan to meet at the pier on monday or tuesday at the pier to hang out. Angie finally coaxes me into running to the pier with her from her house and meeting these people. i usually don't like people, so i am reluctant. at the pier, angie is clearly digging curtis and talking about music with ricky and curtis, leaving me out. i don't really mind much because i don't like people and this is my usual place in group conversations. I have to go home soon so i leave, and angie insists on going to the beach with curtis and ricky. god knows what they did at the beach.
. Tuesday night: i speak with angie over the internet. she says she is doing nothing on wednesday. i don't believe her, and eventually get her to say that she is going to the movies "by herself". i don't believe this either, but she probably wouldn't have told me that she was planning on going to the movies with curtis if she didn't need me to go with her (so she would be allowed by her guardians to go, as they didn't want her going to the movies by herself). of course i agree and she is excited to go to the movies with Curtis, Ryan, and Ricky.
. Wednesday:
I was picked up at art camp at noon by my brother, who says that my mother couldn't pick me up because Richard was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance fifteen minutes earlier.
. Note: until late wednesday night, i wasn't sure if Richard is alive, so i have a thing or two on my mind. turns out he's okay, was conscious when walking out to the ambulance, and never ended up having the cardiac arrest that seemed imminent, as his left arm hurt and he felt dizzy.
. I go to the movies with angie about ten minutes upon arriving and finding out about richard. Angie doesn't seem to care about the fact that my neighbor could be dead, or the fact that i brought her a birdhouse i built and painted for her in art camp. we meet curtis and friends at the theatre and go in to see Shrek 2. Angie strategically places herself so she is sitting next to Curtis and nobody else, with me on the other side of curtis and then ryan and ricky, who played with his lighter for most of the movie. Naturally, i pay close attention to angie and curtis' interaction throughout the movie. they hold hands. this pains me, but i do nothing. i can't quite tell if they're doing anything else until angie fetches her lip gloss, which is a sure sign that she is planning on or already done with some heavy kissing. oh shit. i see them kiss, and i still do nothing because i'm diffident when it comes to anything serious. eventually i get the nerve to act like i'm going to the bathroom, and when i get back i sit behind them and kick their chair the next time they kiss. the fuckheads don't even notice that i kicked their chair and try again to kiss. i probably should have kicked it harder, but i kicked it more softly. they didn't do much for the rest of the movie. needless to say, i didn't catch much of the movie. when the movie gets out, i make it obvious that i am not happy/in a bad mood/indifferent to her/fucking pissed and i think she still didn't realise that i noticed her. her friend works in the theater, and she speaks with her friend 'in private'(probably gloating about it), shooing me away. curtis walks up to join in the conversation and angie doesn't mind. this pisses me off to no extent. angie hasn't seemed too repentant about it except when she thought i had told her guardians about the ordeal, and the fact that she went to see the strange boys her guardians didn't like; ipso facto, i am considering telling her guardians. nothing much else interesting happened. we are currently split.
it ends up, i believe, that it was never mentioned to curtis that i was angie's boyfriend.

not sorry about the length. i guess i really don't mind if nobody reads this; i just needed to get it out. there are five or six visions of this that have been engraved into my head. since then, i've drawn a picture of a gamecube with a hand coming from the side and a person with strange bodyparts. blah.
(Corn Dog, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 2:44, Reply)

girlfriend of almost two years dumps me spontatiously. she took a five minute break from her job at Subway, dumped me, and went back to work making sandwhiches leaving me in the parking lot.

to ease the pain my friends and i created a screamo band dedicated to bashing her.
(ratface, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 2:37, Reply)

Cheeky bitches!
My ex wife, well it only lasted three months anyhow, post graduation pissed shotgun wedding affair.

Basically, after three months of stormy sex and screaming arguments, she finally admitted that she had only done it because she could not be arsed to live with her mum for the summer.

Really put me into a downer for weeks!
(Finn_coyote, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 2:35, Reply)

ahhh young love...
...sucks ass!while at boarding school my girlfreind started up with my mortal enemy.it sucked.she walked up to me with him and kicked me in the nuts to which cunty fucker said "whoa i aint touchin you,you sicko!"! oh how i laughed and cried and bled...
(That guy with a hat., Fri 18 Jun 2004, 2:06, Reply)

Once
I went out with a beautiful photoshopped image of the love of my life.

Now she's my
( The Lurker Plenty One, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 2:06, Reply)

old school disco
my girlfriend was trying to tell me something. which i couldn't hear over the music. so she went and borrowed the dj's microphone and told me via the medium of several large speakers. well she could have bloode well gesticulated "let's go outside" but noooooo
(cap'nj, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 2:04, Reply)

A very nice but very naive BF of mine had been around for nearly 2 years
and was still afraid of any physical contact (at age 24, there had to be something wrong with the guy). I had tried to break p with him but he kept convincing me otherwise, so eventually i just took off to Newfoundland for 2 weeks without telling him I was leaving. He kept coming round to my house while I was gone because I wasn't returning his calls.

I finally spoke to him when I returned, told him I had spent 2 weeks partying in a city full of men who were clamouring for me and that I was done with him. The next day, I went to a social function and was having a chat with his frineds, and he started dancing around me trying to get my atention. I said a brief "hello" and then ignored him until he gave up and slunk away.

Two days later, I got home from work to find an envelope taped to my front door, my name written on the front, and $900 cash inside. I knew where it had come from, and figured if the fool really wanted to give away his money I wasn't going to stop him! I still never spoke to him again after that.
(ghettobooty, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 1:33, Reply)

post coital sorrow
Right after we'd finished doing the dirty, she hands me a note, but I cant read it. So I ask her what shes trying to say, and she says 'you're dumped' and I said 'well your illiterate' and she said 'waddya expect from a five year old'
boom boom
(lifelikeandposeable, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 0:46, Reply)

No, but I did
dump a poor lass in a fairly vicious manner; on the last day of term (back in the day) when she had a broken ankle. "Cat, for reasons I don't want to go into, I don't want to be with you anymore." then I ran away cos she couldn't keep up. For some reason my friends didn't talk to me for quite a while after that.

we're best of friends now tho. And she's gone lesbian.
( same as yours, but on fire will explosively decompress on, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 0:37, Reply)

Had to be re-done, well not really but I'm tired n bored...
One day my girlfriend drove past me on an icecream truck and threw a teacup of her mothers spunk onto my face, just after I had bought her a birthday pressie and just before the christmas where I overheard two people shagging

Comiserations for breadth
(lifelikeandposeable, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 0:37, Reply)

Dumped in a foreign country
I was really looking forward to it as me and my girlfriend were going to Dublin for the weekend of my 21st birthday. We had a couple of arguments a few weeks before, but these were the first we had had in 3 years of going out. We had a pretty bad argument during turbulence from Manchester to Dublin, but luckily no one heard. We got to the hotel and hit the bars and restaurants asap. We ended up in a half mexican/half italian restauarnt (too much info) and she was acting all weird and said things werent too good between us, but she wanted to stay with me badly.
2 hours later as we were walking down the high street she said she didnt want to be with me anymore and she had started seeing another girl. I didnt know what to say, so I went into the Virgin magestore where we were stood next to and bought the new U2 album which was out that morning (it was 1.30 in the morning for the special U2 album launch). I think I sat in the hotel bar for the rest of the night and got munted! I did plot to get the next plane home abd take her passport with me, but i thought it was a bit too nuts!
I just blew all my money on guinness and records and didnt let her have a penny.
In the last couple of weeks recently she told me she wasnt a carpet muncher anymore and she realised it was "just a phase".
101 reasons never to trust women.
It is brilliant now as I travel the world taking lots of pictures, run a club night and work for a record label.
She works for Shell.
Nerp!
(lomofrenzy, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 0:35, Reply)

Well
First girl I ever asked out screamed "No!" and punched me in the face. I sort of gave up then.

Does that count?
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 0:23, Reply)

I got lucky...nah wait it was shit!
Ex girlfriend of mine decided one day (that day being the day after Valentines Day...bitch!) that she didn't love me any more and decided to end it.

Still wanted to be my mate like which ended up with her coming round every Tuesday...sit watch TV...hug kiss, have sex.

This was great until I realised she never had a real life before me and decided to sleep with as many blokes as she could at the weekend.

Gone was my angel whom I prized above all else, what remianed was a big, heavy eye makeup wearing, dangly earing wearing, slapper.

Christ it hurt!

This isn't the funnyest of questions I've seen, kinda makes you want to kill yourself...ah well on with the show.

Sorry lenght etc...
(Feeb is a smooth operator, operating correctly, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 0:10, Reply)

ok... here goes
I'd been seeing this girl for a short while. We had quite a good thing going, lots of laughs, lots of sex, lots of sexy laughs.
Anyway she was at a uni that was a fair way away, so, I decided to move to where she was studying as I was bored of where I was and had no ties to keep me there. After a bit of planning and sorting I move into the same houseshare as her and try to start settling in. Things were going fine until one week later she turned round and said "This isn't working, I'm now single". As you can imagine I was gutted. She also announced that she was leaving uni and moving to spain, in three weeks time. Well having to still share a bedroom with your ex is fucked up, but not as fucked up as at one party at our house, I overheard her in the toilet with some bloke saying she'd "Never done this in front of anyone before"... and then I heard her pissing and what I can only guess was the guy fwapping! I've kept that mental image for years...
( piss j bungle Board sick, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 0:00, Reply)

woof
My friend had been shagging a girl for a couple of weeks on and off & naturally we were all keen to meet/assess her (see how many teeth she had missing...etc).

We were waiting in the pub for her to arrive and he was genuinely pleased as punch (well, as pleased as a wife-beating puppet can be).

An hour after she hadn't turned up, he (against our advice) went outside and gave her mobile a ring.

When he came back inside, he looked puzzled and a little angry. We asked what had happened and he said

"It turns out she's developed tourettes and can't ever leave her house again..."

Us - all blank faced

"Then she barked like a dog".

That girl is a genius.
( moonjam, Thu 17 Jun 2004, 23:57, Reply)

One
week before Valentine's Day, about a month after her birthday and Christmas, three weeks before moving house and, as it turned out, nine weeks before losing my job. Not so much spectacular as just really shit, admittedly.
(Wong Fei-Hung - now with added flickr.com (see profile), Thu 17 Jun 2004, 23:55, Reply)

bus ticket...
Several years ago when I was a student in Manchester, I asked a girl I was seeing if she fancied staying the night... she replied with "No. I bought a return bus ticket and I am going to get my value for money."

The bus ticket cost £1.60. It ended a couple of days later, obviously.
( hanrahan, Thu 17 Jun 2004, 23:53, Reply)

I'm a twunt of the highest order...
Having broken up with my girlfriend the day before she was due to move in with me, having sorted out transferring her job and putting her house up for rent, it was completely out of the blue as far as she was concerned.

She deserved to be treated far better although we really weren't right for each other, I should have had the balls to do something about it before then.
( nick the greek, Thu 17 Jun 2004, 23:47, Reply)