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So, who here compulsively skimreads?
I always do. I haven't thoroughly read a document in about 5 years unless it's absolutely necessary.
I couldn't imagine how tedious life would be if I had to read everything word-by-word "out loud" in my head. Yuck.

It does however mean I occasionally turn up in the wrong place for meetings.
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:42, archived)
I do if it's documentation.
Which is maybe why I spend most of my geek-life breaking stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:43, archived)
Fuck
ANOTHER ONE

"Just text your name and your partners name to 81234 and we will tell you if you are compatible"

THREE QUID A TEXT

Fucking twats
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster 10gb? That's a lot, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:49, archived)
The secret is, if you send a text to it, you're not compatible with any human being.
Foolproof.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:50, archived)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd, Groincrusher General jobby jobby plop plop, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:52, archived)
You know what my favourite one is?
Get your future partners initial, updated weekly!

Some magnificent bastard has a computer texting people a single random letter for £2.50 a week.

That, my friend, is fucking genius.
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:50, archived)
I'm simultaneously impressed and in despair.

(I helped save b3ta! Easty choom gang, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:52, archived)
This.

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd, Groincrusher General jobby jobby plop plop, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:53, archived)
The best one is the guy who will tell you the sex of your baby
You hold your bump (females only) near to the screen while on his website, send him £30 and he'll reply with the sex. If he gets it wrong he'll refund your money
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:55, archived)
EXCELLENT :D

(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:56, archived)
what if it's triplets and he gets them all wrong?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:57, archived)
That's so unlikely to happen that it'll still be a nice earner in the long run.

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd, Groincrusher General jobby jobby plop plop, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:01, archived)
Seriously?

(I helped save b3ta! Bats got bored of "BatDyke", Sun 18 May 2008, 10:58, archived)
Derren Brown said it on Friday
It must be true.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:00, archived)
Indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster 10gb? That's a lot, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:58, archived)
people who use these services
should be shot

the thing is they moan about it after when the bill comes in which annoys me more
forum.vodafone.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=1887
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:51, archived)
Teal deer.

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd, Groincrusher General jobby jobby plop plop, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:53, archived)
That wasn't her fault though, surely
If the SIM was used without her permission
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:54, archived)
An old ex was being charged 10 quid a week for her star signs cos she forgot the "stop" number
Still, that cunt deserved everything she got
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster 10gb? That's a lot, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:58, archived)
on this case it was not her fault
but yesterday the mods over there removed a similar one where a diffedrent person used jamster and similar, and wondered about her £400 bill

but when they swap the sim it shoudl be dead, makes me think the vodafone store in question is on the fiddle like luton store
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:58, archived)
To be fair it seems that it's not her fault

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster 10gb? That's a lot, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:55, archived)
Bloody hell.
Someone stole her return key.
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword Boink boink boink boink, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:56, archived)
for some strange reason that made me laugh way too much

(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:59, archived)
tl;dr

(I helped save b3ta! idonthaveafunnynickname Sysprep? I don't get it., Sun 18 May 2008, 11:53, archived)
I avoid this problem by not reading with an internal voice.
I just see the word and read what it says, I don't need to mentally vocalise it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd, Groincrusher General jobby jobby plop plop, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:43, archived)
^This

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:44, archived)
It blew my mind when I heard someone "reading to themselves" quietly when reading something out of a book.
The inefficency is staggering!
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:44, archived)
I have tea.

(I helped save b3ta! Easty choom gang, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:43, archived)
Two sugars, white
Ta
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:44, archived)
i had tea
but used my last tea bag what shall i do go to the shop or be a fattie on here
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:45, archived)
Hang the old teabags out to dry

(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:46, archived)
Tea bag?
Bah.
Real men use loose leaf tea and teapots.
(I helped save b3ta! Easty choom gang, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:47, archived)
YOU STINK OF LIES

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:47, archived)
TEABAGS ARE INCOMPARABLE

(I helped save b3ta! Easty choom gang, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:51, archived)
My sister works with a guy who insists he has tea from a teapot
even if it's made with bags. He can tell if you just put the bag in the cup.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:57, archived)
*teabagging joke*

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:47, archived)
*suggestion piston_broke might post something involving his girlfriend about this*

(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:48, archived)
"That reminds me, last night I was making my AMAZINGLY HOT, SEX FIEND GIRLFRIEND suck on my balls"

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:49, archived)
At the risk of SHOCKING PEOPLE -
Poor piston, he's all excited and happy and everything's new and lovely for him. I think people should give him a break. Granted, I don't go shouting about my omgboyfriend on here at every given opportunity but I think we should be pleased for him.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:50, archived)
Why should he get preferential treatment?
If I said silly things on here I'd fully expect a reaming.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:51, archived)
Oh no, I don't mean be NICE or anything.
I just feel a bit sorry for him, I must be turning soft in my old age.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:53, archived)
Awwww, you sweet-hearted softie, ;)

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:56, archived)
Well, that's just silly.
*reams*
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword Boink boink boink boink, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:53, archived)
YES!
High five!
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness I'm not breaking down, I'm breaking out, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:56, archived)
*fives*
*continues reaming*
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword Boink boink boink boink, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:02, archived)
bring me up to speed, why are people believing him now?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:59, archived)
Why not believe him?
There's more than a few people on here that I'd be more inclined to disbelieve if they had news like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:04, archived)
I'm just sceptical
because of stuff

and things
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:14, archived)
Oh come on
People started taking the mickey out of Limey for mentioning she was in france. People take the piss out of JMG for going on about fatties. If I kept trying to crowbar mentions of a new car into a conversation I would rightly expect that someone would take the mickey out of that.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:10, archived)
quite
i doubt he's in anguish because a bunch of fat truckers won't believe that he's met someone who's making him happy

although of course he hasn't really lol

i think the thing that makes me feel awkward about it is the socially-inept fat truckers joining in. it's like watching joey deacon taking the piss out of stephen hawking
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish nature adores a vacuum, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:33, archived)
if you wanna teabag
bou will be here soon (unless she's been banned again)
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:49, archived)
I got tired of banning her
So cleared out 127 of her accounts and made her a permanent one.
And have forced her to use the ignore function.
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:51, archived)
127!
That's crazymad.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:52, archived)
127 FUCK ME
gosh i never though she was that bad
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:53, archived)
I've actually got a South African Detector toolkit now

(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:55, archived)
GeoIP rocks my world

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:01, archived)
There are at least three people here that I think actually need medical help about their obsession with this place
She's one
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster 10gb? That's a lot, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:01, archived)
127!!

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd, Groincrusher General jobby jobby plop plop, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:16, archived)
So, who
do
5 years
life
I
wrong
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword Boink boink boink boink, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:44, archived)
i do this all the time
hence i am stuck in s fucking stupid credit arrangrment now :(

threadjack has AOL blocked cr3ation? as it keeps 404'ing on me?
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:44, archived)
Nah cr3ation is down
Might be back some time
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:45, archived)
ah no sweat
cheers for that
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk is pregnant, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:46, archived)
I used to read books and websites about software development
these days I just download the MS instruction videos and half-pay attention to them

reading is rubbish, print is dead
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:46, archived)
Interesting
I'm well rubbish with audio learning. I have real trouble understanding people over the phone.
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:47, archived)
the downloadable videos are great
it's like having some fat bloke sat there telling me how to do my job

plus the network gnomes at work get pissy with me for using too much bandwidth, so that's a plus
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:51, archived)
Haha, christy!
I could never live with bandwidth monitoring. No sir.
(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:52, archived)
I occasionally download DVD images I don't need
just to piss them off
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:54, archived)
*thunderous applause*

(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:56, archived)
*presents you with a trophy*

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby release the midget sweatshop cellar mexicans, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:16, archived)
I've never seen an MS instruction video.
I'm just imagining a lot of "Try switching it off and then back on again"
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:48, archived)
Are you ABSOLUTELY sure it's plugged in?

(I helped save b3ta! cr3 is bouncabouncazippidydo, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:48, archived)
"Yes"
*makes toast*
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:50, archived)

download the MS instruction videos and half-pay attention to them wank over squirrels. WITH TITS.
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword Boink boink boink boink, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:48, archived)
pffft you loon

(I helped save b3ta! Evil Lu, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:51, archived)
SQUIRRELS WITH TITS!
YES!

hello
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:52, archived)
Good morning Gilgy Wilgy

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword Boink boink boink boink, Sun 18 May 2008, 10:54, archived)
I'm the opposite at the moment
I've just read a 3 page document about a mysql database holding stock levels that a guy has written, and I'm still not sure how the stock get s between Sage and the database.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:00, archived)
If I may spoil the ending...
it is carried there by squirrels. With tits.
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword Boink boink boink boink, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:02, archived)
Ok
I've read it again and I still don't understand
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:02, archived)
without giving away too many confidential details
if it's anything like how the Manchester 2002 Commonwealth Games results system was designed then there's probably a P133 somewhere reading a text stream via its RS232 port
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh - turkey seepage, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:03, archived)
I don't
but reading out loud in my head is at least twice as fast as speaking.
(Sticky Label, Sun 18 May 2008, 11:34, archived)