Champion Porridge Wog! (since we are on the subject of news headlines)
www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2008/10/13/15th-time-lucky-as-man-is-finally-crowned-world-porridge-making-champion-86908-20798685/
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:32, archived)

NEAR THE TOP!

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:33, archived)

At least I make the effort to say something vaguely interesting

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:34, archived)

TERRIBLE BULLYING!

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:36, archived)

SPURTLE

( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:07, archived)