Bats. They could teach you a thing or two.
www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0007595
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:37, archived)

Blue Star must have posted

but not about the possibilities of giving oral sex while being taken doggy-style.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:38, archived)

Bell munching monkeys!
I'm going to look at buying a car today.
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:39, archived)

What's wrong with the Butter-Mobile?

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:08, archived)

Nothing which why it's a good time for a change.
I'm looking at this.
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:17, archived)

fuck me, that looks a bit nice!
those M5s go like shit of a shovel.
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:18, archived)

I know :)

( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:19, archived)

I LOVE bats.
They're AWESOME.
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:39, archived)

You should watch Autumnwatch from Friday,
there's loads of bats.
( Once in Royal Druid's City - When you need an undertaker..., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:40, archived)

I was at a museum recently and saw a bat's skellington...
you forget (well i do) that skeletal structure is fairly standard (especially in mammals)

underneath all the fur and skin... they look like a mini bat-human-thing...
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:48, archived)

like this fella
www.nhc.ed.ac.uk/images/collections/mammals/bats/skeleton.jpg
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:48, archived)

You have huge fingers and withered, atrophied legs AICMFP
It's probably a result of sitting in front of the computer all day and night, playing WoW.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:50, archived)

I DON'T PLAY WoW
I watch porn....
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:51, archived)

Then your fingers would surely shrink
given the scale of objects you'd be manipulating.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:52, archived)

ROFFLE!
oh, you are a one!
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:56, archived)

Great,
Now I've got an erection.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:39, archived)

You'd have to be doing it with one of those bendy ladies from the Chinese State Circus.

( Once in Royal Druid's City - When you need an undertaker..., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:39, archived)

I am ready to undertake such a study in the name of SCIENCE.

( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:41, archived)

Me too. We should conduct a SEXY study.

( Once in Royal Druid's City - When you need an undertaker..., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:41, archived)

The mechanics of mammalian flying would be good too.

( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:40, archived)

How the fuck are
these

halloween costumes
( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:41, archived)

It's not the costume that's intended to scare you.

( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:41, archived)

Well I'm scared of Australians, drunken nurses and junkie prostitutes,
don't know about you.
( Zuowan , yes, in China., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:42, archived)

Is that not a perfect example of tautology?

( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:43, archived)

Drunken australian nurses are universally selling their bodies for heroin on the streets of the UK?

( Zuowan , yes, in China., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:46, archived)

Only around Earls Court and Kings Cross I grant you
But still…
( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:15, archived)

Well one's obviously in The Army, the other is employed by the NHS, and the other looks like a Slut.
I'm ready to de-tag all mine when they get uploaded by people.
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:43, archived)

I saw this and thought of you
www.fmylife.com/love/6100945
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:45, archived)

I'd stab my mum for a pug

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:49, archived)

I'd stab a pug for your mum.

( Zuowan , yes, in China., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:53, archived)

I'd stab your mum, who is a pug.

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:54, archived)

I'd rename you 昨晚音乐节目主持人杀害了我的狗, for a pug

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:01, archived)

I changed it to pinyin.
b3ta just can't handle the characters.
( Zuowan , yes, in China., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:09, archived)

I've just seen some daft cunt on telly
Give his 70 year-old mother a Borzoi and then complain it was too energetic for her.

Buy her a pug or a dachshund for fuck sakes.
( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:06, archived)

Or a one-way ticket to Switzerland.

( Once in Royal Druid's City - When you need an undertaker..., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:09, archived)

That would be good.
I'm not surprised that people kill themselves in Switzerland. It's shit.
( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:10, archived)

Talking of which
Someone was asking me last night for my advice on that- obviously not on /talk- but his mother had asked him to take her to Dignitas if she ended up being incapable of looking after herself. Wanted to know if he should do it.
( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:13, archived)

Well obviously sort out the will and then push her down the stairs.

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:15, archived)

Tried very hard not to say that.

( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:17, archived)

That was good on The Thick Of It
"We could call Indignitas. They could push you out of a window dressed as a clown"
( Zuowan , yes, in China., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:16, archived)

The later conversation with a Serbian Nationalist was more fun.
Loads more killing and less remorse.
( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:18, archived)

De tagging is for vain cunts
EMBRACE THE EMBARRASSMENT
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:45, archived)

This.
When I see someone un-tag themselves I just think "man the fuck up, everyone knows you don't always look great, people still talk to you don't they?"
( Zuowan , yes, in China., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:47, archived)

It's more because I don't want to make you jealous about they girls that I was snogging and doing naughty things with.
...whilst dressed like a proper cunt
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:52, archived)

You should see the pictures from my weekend.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:52, archived)

I bet you totally sleezed up to some girls, put your perv face on, talked about paperclips and went home by yourself.

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:55, archived)

Pretty much
but the pictures look good.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:56, archived)

Actually that's a bit harsh. You might have taken a girl back but you put it in and then elbow'd her in boobie, ruining the moment.
you slept on the sofa and bashed one out into your slipper.
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:58, archived)

something very similar happened to me once actually, except it was a knee,
and in her mimsy.

Thanks for bringing up that little gem of a memory.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:00, archived)

We've all been there.
It's strange how if a girl headbutts you by accident, you'll still pretend to be ok and get your end away, if you shout "SPINN-ING BUUUUURD KICK!" and triple roundhouse her accidentally they say 'the moments gone'...I don't understand girls...
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:04, archived)

Exactly IT'S ONE RULE FOR THEM mutter mutter mutter.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:05, archived)

I accidentally teethbutted my girlfriend during a special moment on the beach in Tunisia
way to make her feel special me.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love it's voucher exchange festival time., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:07, archived)

gah toothbutt D:

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:09, archived)

it helped to distract from the swarms of insects feasting on us

( Undulating Tentacles of Love it's voucher exchange festival time., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:12, archived)

Ahhhhhh romance. eh?

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:15, archived)

a truly beautiful moment.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love it's voucher exchange festival time., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:17, archived)

no, it's not

( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:37, archived)

They're just slags out for a good time

( magnum, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:47, archived)

I'm tired of the lack of imagination in women at halloween.
A proper woman shouldn't be scared of looking horrible.
This is more like it.
( Zuowan , yes, in China., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:52, archived)

The babysitter in Flashforwards halloween costume
gmtfh
( magnum, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:59, archived)

Fucking hell
Cheeseburger, chips and a can for only three pounds fifty.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:00, archived)

YEAH!
LIKE... Y'KNOW... YEAH
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:49, archived)

My halloween costume started as me in a paper suit with a facehugger strapped to my head
and ended with me wearing a plaster cast and hospital greens. :(
(Gormo Doesn't LOL at cats, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:04, archived)

Vrrrrrrrrroooooooooooom. driving lesson in a bit.
Can bats parallel park?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:50, archived)

Bats can parallel land upside-down onto a ceiling in the dark
I don't think they'll have a hard time manoeuvring a Fiat Punto into a stretch of clear pavement.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:51, archived)

Oh. Maybe I should take bat lessons instead.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 10:55, archived)

I see they conveniently skipped over this aspect of bat behaviour in the Batman mythos.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love it's voucher exchange festival time., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:05, archived)

He was bitten by a radioactive bat, you know.
That's how he got his super powers.
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:11, archived)

At least, until someone invented the internet.

( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:12, archived)

Cor!
Well, bats can't watch TV so there's not much else for them to do, I suppose.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:11, archived)

Wotcha
How was the geeky gathering?
( Minimus *France dance*, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:13, archived)

So very, very shit
I've never been in a more socially awkward place. If they weren't mostly gay I'd fear for future generations.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:15, archived)

Haha, sounds like fun :P
Did many people buy hoodies?
( Minimus *France dance*, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:17, archived)

No
one pre-bought and collected on the day, about 3 inquiries but nothing else. Listened to people talk bollocks and tried not to point out how awful the guy next to me's drawings were.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:30, archived)

Boo!

( Minimus *France dance*, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:37, archived)

OH COOOOOIEEE!!
*TURBO MINCES TOWARDS YOU*

sometimes I cut myself....
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:20, archived)

Hahaha :D

( Minimus *France dance*, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:22, archived)

A friend of mine worked at a cosplay thing in woburn,
The photos were hilarious.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:22, archived)

I want to know where one gets a job watching bats suck off other bats.

( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:17, archived)

Also, my boss has just congratulated my ability to tell lies.
I'm well chuffed.
( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:18, archived)

No he hasn't.

( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:19, archived)

*touches nose and points at your face*

( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:21, archived)

he's lying

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:21, archived)

To the batcave…

( The ghost of Lord Gnome past It couldn't happen here, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:20, archived)

Holy Cocksucking, Batman!

( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 11:21, archived)