On a scale of one to ten, how important are you?

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:18, archived)

universally? 1

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:18, archived)

You're an eleven to me chompy
I'm bored and full of monstermunch.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:26, archived)

Stop pandering to me,
people get jealous.
I hate monster munch, answer my gaz.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:27, archived)

I'm getting a monster munch t-shirt

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

May I be the first person to jump in here and say 'Nice pair of Pickled Onions'
thank you.
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:33, archived)

*high fives*

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:34, archived)

*purposefully misses*

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:42, archived)

*recoils in horror*
DEEGEE!? WHY?!?
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:53, archived)

*zombie arms and chases*
UUGNNNGGGGGG!!
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:58, archived)

Benny Hill music is playing btw
man, this is so freakin' hot!
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:03, archived)

Quick! Mop me with a Vileda on the chin! Cor...

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:04, archived)

dude....you totally scared her off....fuck sake man, you ALWAYS do this...god.

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:09, archived)

*COMES TO FIX THE BOILER*

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:09, archived)

But my mum isn't broken JammyOoooooooooooh I seeeeeeeeee

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:11, archived)

Nice pair of beef c...
No, sorry. I can't do it.
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:35, archived)

You wuss
*points to the door* get out.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:38, archived)

FINE,
They smell funny anyhow. I think they're past their sell-by date.
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:40, archived)

Nice Space Raider you've got there....

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:45, archived)

Oi! Show us your Wotsits!

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:49, archived)

*gets out his Hula Hoop*
I HAD AN ACCIDENT WHEN I WAS YOUNG PLEASE DON'T LAUGH :(

They circumcised me but just left the foreskin and took away my penis :'(
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:51, archived)

Whaddaya thinka ma DISCO?

( The Teviot Moose 's cock expands to fill the space available, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:52, archived)

makes my eyes water when I sniff it :S

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:58, archived)

Discos were just salt with the occansional bit of potato.

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:05, archived)

S'alright 'spose, but I always prefered the Series II
*tedious motoring joke*
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:07, archived)

I dunno .. the Disco 3 is great
but just driven by too many people who only use it for school runs. Disco 4 is apparently even better.

Series 2 had the right image, but the 3 is just a better vehicle.

/drags out tedious motoring joke into serious conversation
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:13, archived)

I would too
but the men's one is rubbish.
( magnum, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:26, archived)

you're going to remove the "r" aren't you?!

( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:18, archived)

I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, IRELAND!

( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:19, archived)

STOP RACISMING ME

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:20, archived)

The new Racism 800 series
it's been a long time coming
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:23, archived)

to whom?
to most people, one.

to a select few, oh i dunno, 7?
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:20, archived)

THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE JUMPED OUT AND GONE "omg no waiii binky, totally a ten"
:(
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:28, archived)

oh god i feel so alone.

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:30, archived)

im gonna go and get tea and cake and do my laundry duty

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:30, archived)

I'll give you an 8
but you're going to have to haggle if you want higher
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:09, archived)

OH HELLO HOW ARE YOU not seen you in agessss
*rubs against legs*
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:13, archived)

nope, still an eight
nowhere near enough flattery here
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:18, archived)

i was sincere, this love is not cupboard.

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:27, archived)

also, coldd. brrr.

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:30, archived)

You're totally a 10
pander pander snorf
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

i am scared by the snorf.

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

You can't handle the snorf, that's why.

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:33, archived)

out of ten... I'd give you one

( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:39, archived)

omg no waiii binky, totally a two

( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:30, archived)

THANK YOU my nose is fucking freezing.
i hear this house has central heating and i may have to learn it soon
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:32, archived)

But we can spell.

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

so how would you say it instead? :D

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:32, archived)

I'd shout "PULL YOURSELF TO TOGETHER, WOMAN!"
And then I'd slap you across the face.
( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:34, archived)

I went away to get tea and totally dropped the ball, sweetcheeks

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:33, archived)

i went to get tea and now, HEY, i have tea.
GREAT OR WHAT
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:02, archived)

You speak to me
So you're quite high on my scale.
( St.Minimus *France dance*, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:34, archived)

yayyyy

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:03, archived)

Is that a genuine yay?
Or a "creepy guy on the internet quite likes me" yay?
( St.Minimus *France dance*, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:30, archived)

its genuine but i dont know how to respond to such overt and self-deprecating flattery.

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:31, archived)

7's pretty high.
I mean, if we gave you a ten, then what would we give the Queen?
( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:40, archived)

Not that you're not a QUEEN OF THE INTERNET
*u-turn pandering*
( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:43, archived)

Would you give the queen one?

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:44, archived)

No, she's far too important for that.
OH YOU'RE MAKING AN INNUENDO
( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:44, archived)

You'd put it in her endo?

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:45, archived)

You're rubbish at reading, Doctor.

( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:46, archived)

How do you define importance?
Because to you, I'm certainly not important, but to my mother, well, there's not much more important than I.
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:21, archived)

I define importance as a measure of how important you are.

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:23, archived)

3 then

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:27, archived)

so important that nasa are considering launching a gold statue of me into space

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:21, archived)

where no one will ever see it

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:22, archived)

in space, no-one can see you preen
( In the Bleak Vladimir'd Winter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:24, archived)

it's so beautiful that if you saw it you would go mad
it's better this way
( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:26, archived)

hovering around an optimistic -15
( In the Bleak Vladimir'd Winter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:22, archived)

Ten
(depends which side the scale starts, innit)
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:23, archived)

one or two
not very, in the grand scale of things.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:24, archived)

Well that's true but everyone has an affect on the universe that we can't measure
maybe one of your decendants will blow up the sun by accident.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:26, archived)

id like to point out the difference between affect and effect but i cant be arsed.
please look it up and reprimand yourself.

ta.
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

You can Affect something but you have an Effect on it.

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:34, archived)

At the same time?

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:35, archived)

technically you can also effect something

( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:38, archived)

you can effect a change,
and "affect" is a term for emotion used in psychology. For instance, "blunted affect".
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:01, archived)

ah I thought there was some other way of using affect
but couldn't remember what it was from
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:06, archived)

I know the difference and I'm embarrassed at myself.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:36, archived)

That depends on me hatching little mini-spangos though, doesn't it

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:36, archived)

It would be like an episode of Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
Only FOR REAL!
( The Teviot Moose 's cock expands to fill the space available, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:38, archived)

Someone could clone you from a hair in 10,000 years time.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:43, archived)

I've got eight clones of spangles already.
I need that many for them to be able to clean the rabbit's cage.
( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:50, archived)

hehe ONE DROPPING AT A TIME

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:05, archived)

oh wait is this littlepeople bullying?

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:05, archived)

oh man how mini would they be?
can we sing the "my baby has gone down the plughole" song?
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:58, archived)

la la laYOUNGEST OF TEN AND A TINY WEE MITE
la la la la la only turned around to get a jug of water or something or something MY BABY HAS GORNE DOWN THE PLUGHOLE
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:04, archived)

...are you sure you didn't just make this up yourself?

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:05, archived)

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SURE
i hardly remember it though, it's a distant memory...
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:06, archived)

FUCK YES
lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/y/yourbabyhasgonedowntheplughole.shtml
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:08, archived)

haha that's brilliant

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:11, archived)

i seem to rememeber a finale chorus thing of
bring back, bring back, oh bring back my baby to me, to me
and so on
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:18, archived)

it reminds me of the roald dahl song from the giraffe, the pelly and me
my diamonds are over the ocean,
my diamonds are over the sea,
my diamonds were nicked from my bedroom,
now bring back my diamonds to me
( weaver. Free Psychochomp when you spend £50!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:27, archived)

YES that is what the chorus should be like
only with babies and that
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:29, archived)

no wait.
god i am so confused.
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:29, archived)

it would be the Ballad of the McCanns

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:34, archived)

So important that they're thinking of renaming this scale "The Noit Scale".

( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:25, archived)

Although I am known for having delusions of grandeur.

( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:28, archived)

I had some Werthers' Originals yesterdays.
Delusions of Grandad.
( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:30, archived)

I'm not at all
If one is the lowest then one. I can be lower though, I just need to try more.
( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:25, archived)

Dunno.
Maybe one.
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:25, archived)

9 7/8ths

( Captn Hood-Butter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:27, archived)

Fractions are gay.

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:27, archived)

I think you're mixing them up with fagtions
( In the Bleak Vladimir'd Winter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:29, archived)

decimals 4 lyfe

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:29, archived)

Apparently 1.3 of the population don't understand decimals.

( mike woz ere winter gives me an excuse for my small penis, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:08, archived)

As close to the bottom of the scale as possible

( St.Minimus *France dance*, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:28, archived)

To everyone

( St.Minimus *France dance*, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:33, archived)

i'm probably a 4 or 5
but most of the time i feel like i'm a 1
( weaver. Free Psychochomp when you spend £50!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:28, archived)

Oh God my life is so empty and meaningless
This thread has made me realise, goodbye cruel world
( Rocking Around the SexFace Tree Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

RESULT.

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

if they ask you to step in as the pilot during your test day, make sure you say this over the simulator intercom, it'll definitely get you selected
( In the Bleak Vladimir'd Winter, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:39, archived)

Fuck all that, let's talk about me for a bit.

( mike woz ere winter gives me an excuse for my small penis, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:33, archived)

Still got piles?

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:34, archived)

No, I poked those back in ages ago.

( mike woz ere winter gives me an excuse for my small penis, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:36, archived)

I'm looking forward to you coming to my poker night.
I mean, I assume you've not signed up as a joke, that would be terribly rude.
( Rocking Around the SexFace Tree Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:39, archived)

|¦:¬D
( mike woz ere winter gives me an excuse for my small penis, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:48, archived)

JMG is so important there's an extra 10 important points on top of the scale that he's swiftly clambered up
He's now making a frontal assault on Important Point 21
( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:34, archived)

this reminds me...
if I climb mount everest with a step ladder, then climb up the step ladder at the top - will I break the previous records?
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:38, archived)

Dunno about ladders, maybe if you make a small pile of rocks and stand on that

( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:39, archived)

And then get a blowjob off of a hooker in a car and get arrested.

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:40, archived)

Hubare's Hugh Grant?

( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6525085
( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:45, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6522453
( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:48, archived)

No.

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:39, archived)

I HATE YOU!
spoiling my fun!
( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:48, archived)

0

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:58, archived)

I have my own scale

( Lord Scrope of Masham A rogue and peasant slave, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:10, archived)

Fairly important
but not so important that I can't switch my phone off without my staff bursting into flames.
(thediscokingpin, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:11, archived)

if I were that important,
I'd switch my phone off all the time just for the lulz
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:14, archived)

If I did that
i'd just end with text messages that I cannot reply to in a timely manner.

If god had wanted us to text he would have given us tiny prehensile appendages on our fingertips.
(thediscokingpin, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:21, archived)

subfingers
awesome
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:26, archived)

Totally looking after a two week old baby, here.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:27, archived)