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Hello internet.
I went to see Fleetwood Mac last night. They were fabulous. My childhood crush on Lindsay Buckingham has come back.

I went to see a-ha on Monday night. They were great too. My crush on Morten Harket is as strong as it ever was.

Which old people do YOU fancy?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 9:59, archived)
Christopher Walken
Robert Downey Jr
Helena Bonham Carter
(I helped save b3ta! spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:00, archived)
Yes on the first two.
When I saw the first Iron Man trailer I nearly wet my knickers.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:04, archived)
I no rite
PHWOAR.
(I helped save b3ta! spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:06, archived)
Oh come on now
you aren't THAT old. There's always Tena Lady anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:10, archived)
Okay
let me rephrase that:

'I fair near gushed myself inside out'.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:19, archived)
I bet it looked like a killer whale's tongue when you got home as it had prolapsed from all the spasming.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:20, archived)
Better than looking like
an octopus solving a Rubiks cube
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:22, archived)
Camel doing a raspberry

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:24, archived)
Oh man, imagine if Christopher Walken played the part of Iron Man.

(I helped save b3ta! Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:17, archived)
He wouldn't need the suit

(I helped save b3ta! Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:19, archived)
The film would be an hour longer with the way he talks

(I helped save b3ta! spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:19, archived)
There isn't enough punctuation to even come close to the way he talks, but I can just picture it now.
Why, why? why? Why ! whY ! Would, erm, you want, to KEEL meee? I'm-the irOn Man.
(I helped save b3ta! Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:27, archived)
Did you see him singing Poker Face on Jonathan Ross's show?
It was great :D
(I helped save b3ta! spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:37, archived)
More like Robert DOWNSY Jr
KNOWWHATI'MSAYIN'?
(I helped save b3ta! I'm Dreaming of a Noit Christmas, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:12, archived)
NAAMSAAAAIN?

(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:15, archived)
Seriously, that upcoming Sherlock film looks like a travesty.
An entertaining travesty, but a travesty nonetheless.
(I helped save b3ta! I'm Dreaming of a Noit Christmas, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:16, archived)
"'Ere, Sherly, we gonna bust in there a swipe the diamond or what?"
"Oi, it ain't Sherly. It's Sherlock."
"No shit."
"Anyway, it's as elementary as a two-legged racehorse, Watty. You don't just bust in there waving your deerstalkers like who know's business. You gotto think Watty think. We need someone to take the fall or else we'd be retrieving our pipes from our pipeholes."
"Gotcha. But who?"
"Eh, I don giffa fuck. I don giffa a fuck bout nuffin a'ight. Just do the bloomin job and do it up right, right, or else it ain't right and yous gonna be bust up wrong. Right?"
"Aaah! Professor Moriaty! Of course!"
(I helped save b3ta! Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:25, archived)
I do not fancy anyone

(I helped save b3ta! St.Minimus giant fish in a bear suit, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:02, archived)
I'd get all the Nolan sisters to get out their big middle age wappers and I'd give them a sponge bath
I probably wouldn't enjoy it if I'm honest. They'd all cackle at me like menopausal witches and tug at my jeans...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:02, archived)
OOOH YOUNG MAN

(I helped save b3ta! spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:03, archived)
*snorts*

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:04, archived)
GGAAH!
SPINDLY FINGERS ON MY DINKLE!

It would be like being wanked off by a bonobo.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:04, archived)
I fail to see an issue with this

(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:05, archived)
They put twigs down your japper in the hope to find ants

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:12, archived)
HA!

(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:16, archived)
oh, you absolute fucker
who's going to clean the tea out of my macbook now? eh?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:17, archived)
;P

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:21, archived)
They'd be cheeky and hid the soap under their tit-folds.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:15, archived)
I'd have to get the bacon tongs out and have a fish about to find it. I'd probably find a copy of Jane McDonald's autobiography "Crossdresser On A Cruiseship" too.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:17, archived)
OldsFive
/Blue Star
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:03, archived)
I meant slebs
not internerds
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:05, archived)
You didn't specify that ;)

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:19, archived)
Sigourney Weaver

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:04, archived)
Anyone, I'm not fussy
Not you though.
(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:05, archived)
Thank FUCK for that.
I'm not as old as you, oldie.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:06, archived)
Right, that's it
I'm totally coming on to you this weekend.
(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:07, archived)
*makes a minor but effective strikethrough*

(I helped save b3ta! Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:10, archived)
Help yourself
Both statements hold truth
(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:11, archived)
The only woman older than you is Thatcher.

(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:07, archived)
Had her

(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:08, archived)
Lucky bastard

(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:10, archived)
Pushes back like a sheep on a cliff edge

(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:11, archived)
On the 8th day, God made Bogus Offical

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:13, archived)
And he saw that it was goooooooood
Oh yeah, baaaaaaybeee
(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:16, archived)

Bogus Official a magic talking leopard, and forgot all about the rest of us
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:19, archived)
..but it was a bit of a rush job.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive Gold Rings is on the mend, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:20, archived)
Julianne Moore

(I helped save b3ta! GoodKingSuperMatt, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:05, archived)
Helen Mirren
Felicity Kendal
(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:06, archived)

Helen Mirren
Felicity Kendal
Cilla Black
(I helped save b3ta! Last planearm Christmas, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:12, archived)
None
they smell of piss and death.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:06, archived)
Willem Dafoe
David Bowie
Grace Jones
Jeff Goldblum
My Bloke
I used to fancy Richard E Grant but then I saw him in reallifelols and he is very orange and a bit stringy looking.
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock Misses being Myra. Dismaydiator :(, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:07, archived)
Oh David Bowie <3

(I helped save b3ta! spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:10, archived)
Hells Yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock Misses being Myra. Dismaydiator :(, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:22, archived)
Some of my lot are off to see the Norwegian syth princes tonight
so, just so I am forewarned of any potential aquaplaning incidents, did that Harket chap wear his savoury leather trousers?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:07, archived)
No he didn't.
He wore a suit. You WILL have to put up with them going on for ages about how he hasn't aged and still looks exactly the same. Also, they might come back deafened from all the screaming.

They were fucking ACE even if they didn't play my favourite song.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:09, archived)
...which is?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:11, archived)
I've Been Losing You.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:12, archived)
*puts gun down on bedside table*

aye. that's a top tune.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:14, archived)
:D
*hisses S like a snake*
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:16, archived)
I always liked Manhattan Skyline
I realise this is not a popular opinion.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:18, archived)
I love that.
They do that live. He sings the chorus down a megaphone into the mic. They do a beautiful version of 'And You Tell Me' with two acoustic guitars and a glockenspiel. It was GLORIOUS.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:20, archived)
I don't even own a libido

(I helped save b3ta! Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:07, archived)
All that energy gets diverted to keep your face alive

(I helped save b3ta! St.Minimus giant fish in a bear suit, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:08, archived)
He has a heart the size of a mini, much like a blue whale.
It needs to be that powerful to pump blood to the outer extremities of his face.
(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:10, archived)
I don't even own a face

(I helped save b3ta! Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:10, archived)
Suzi Perry
Not tht old, but I would.
(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:08, archived)
not until I've finished with her, RR.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:10, archived)
She wouldn't want to wait.
FILTHY Strumpet that she is.
(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:15, archived)
winks and high fives
and oranges when we change ends at half-time?

get in.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:16, archived)
I'm supping on Lucozade Sport and doing my warm-up as we speak.

(I helped save b3ta! Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:22, archived)
Zooey Deschanel...oh, you said old people....ym
Did Lindsay Buckingham do the acoustic version of Big Love?

I would give my first born (if I had one) to see that live.
(I helped save b3ta! Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:08, archived)
Yes he did.
It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen or heard. He's a fucking LEGEND.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:11, archived)
bah
I asked that not expecting you to say yes

I've reached almost unprecedented heights of jealousy!
(I helped save b3ta! Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:12, archived)
I wasn't aware quite how fantastic a guitarist he is.
It really was my highlight, and got the biggest round of applause/screams/whistles of the night.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:14, archived)
he doesn't show it in much of their stuff
just playing that song the way he does is really tricky, and being able to belt out the singing at the same time is amazing.
(I helped save b3ta! Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:18, archived)
I know. It was utterly breathtaking.
I'll have to search you tube later to see whether I can watch him do it again.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:25, archived)
there are some good videos of it on youtube
still jealous :-/
(I helped save b3ta! Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:56, archived)
Helena Bonham Carter
I would
(I helped save b3ta! St. Defenestration The REAL one, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:08, archived)
Felicity Kendall.
There is someone else but I can't remember them off the top of my head.
(I helped save b3ta! I'm Dreaming of a Noit Christmas, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:12, archived)
That woman who sang that "My Vagina Is Eight Miles Wide" song.
Not very very famous, but she was fit as fuck for forty years old.
(I helped save b3ta! I'm Dreaming of a Noit Christmas, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:13, archived)
yes
felicity kendal is awesome
(I helped save b3ta! Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:23, archived)

Heather Locklear
(I helped save b3ta! Last planearm Christmas, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:15, archived)
Michaela Strachan

(I helped save b3ta! hedonist in excelsis releasing the hounds since, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:20, archived)
I think I've got a bit of a thing for 50s black and white film heroines.
Julie Andrews is a bit of OK too, I reckon she'd be filthy.
Googling 'Julie Andrews', the third suggestion before you finish typing is 'Julie Andrews breasts'
(I helped save b3ta! Once in Royal Druid's City stood a waki krazi edgy zany loon, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:27, archived)

Monica Belluci definitely! also Jane Mcdonald, definitely the Nigella Lawson!
(I helped save b3ta! SoBadItsGood typed with furious anger on, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 11:54, archived)