Do you remember the huge curtain with 'FIRE CURTAIN' written on it in foot high letters
at the cinema, and when you'd get an intermission where ladies sold you portions of ice-cream to eat with a wooden stick?
( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:10, archived)

I remember when cinema was this amazing new thing that you wore a suit to go see
We'd scamper and hide at the train coming towards the screen. Oh how we laughed when it wasn't real!
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:10, archived)

Then, one day, it tragically was real.
God rest their souls.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:20, archived)

It was pretty tragic
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:28, archived)

Surely the ice cream would melt being so close to a curtain of fire

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:11, archived)

Cinemas smell of hot dogs these days.

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:15, archived)

especially these ones
( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:25, archived)

But do they have jumping frogs?
Eh? Eh?
(jimi.vicious 3=o - - (. _. ), Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:34, archived)

No, I'm not old.

(PsychoChomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:11, archived)

Yes. I even remember going to the cinema and a guy played the organ before the film started

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:11, archived)

"Dad stop it!"

( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:21, archived)

HAHAHA :D
you cunt, I just spat all over my bits of paper :)
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:21, archived)

I'll give you some new bits* should we ever meet.
*of paper
( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:27, archived)

my dad's dead you shit

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:24, archived)

you used to play with your dead dad's cock in the cinema?!?!?

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:24, archived)

What a terrible person he is.

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:25, archived)

it was the only way i could afford the entry ticket

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:27, archived)

I bet he did the popcorn trick with him too

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:28, archived)

so that's why they were always salty

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:32, archived)

i just dunna sick :(

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:40, archived)

Pffft.
:D
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:25, archived)

No because my mum and dad aren't the stone henge
OLD
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:12, archived)

Are you saying my mum's a piece of rock?

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:13, archived)

I bet you'd like to suck her.

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:13, archived)

Often found on piers enticing the tourists

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:16, archived)

Pffffft

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:19, archived)

she's had brighton right through her.

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:20, archived)

that doesn't make sense.

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:20, archived)

It wasn't any better when I tried it, either.
We need to re-calibrate our euphemismomiters.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:22, archived)

pink on the oustide
minty on the inside, and with "scarborough" written through her?
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:20, archived)

She's so big she's got 'Welcome to Scarborough please take your rubbish home - help keep Yorkshire tidy' written through her

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:23, archived)

Yo mamma so fat
she wrapped in cellophane.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:28, archived)

she come from both sides of the family

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)

five minutes of pleasure followed by a trip to a medical professional

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:22, archived)

a trip to a medical professional your teeth falling out

shirely?
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:24, archived)

I've lost teeth eating her.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:25, archived)

It takes hours to finish her off if you just use your mouth?

( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:26, archived)

I just usually leave her half done getting dusty on her damp bits.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:28, archived)

I want to pick at her mossy crack

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:19, archived)

Yes.
And Summer holidays seemed to last FOREVER.
And there were always 3 children's films on, on a saturday morning at the pictures in the caravan park.
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:12, archived)

And when it snowed it PROPERLY snowed, and the snow stayed for weeks.

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:16, archived)

And things were better, bigger and cheaper

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:17, archived)

*Nostalgias*
It was a more innocent time. Before all this so-called political correctness. When you were EXPECTED to bully the Ginger kid at school.
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:17, archived)

This isn't really getting old at all

( Blue Star of Wonder *hearts* Guy Garvey very very much, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:19, archived)

Shush it up, you.

( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:21, archived)

True. The only respite I got was if there was a Welsh kid in the class.

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:21, archived)

TERRIBLE BULLYING!
:(
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:28, archived)

They still do this at my local cinema
(the ice-cream selling)
The inside is a fuzzy orange colour. There's one screen. The film is usually a month and a half old by the time it's on. The soundsystem's shit.

It's actually amazing.
( Lampito asleep in the poppies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:15, archived)

They sell ice cream at most cinemas
But now it's normally Ben & Jerry's, and an option for a barely drinkable milkshake for half the contents of your wallet.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:23, archived)

Yes, but
Do they walk down the middle of the aisles in the space between the adverts ending and the main film beginning?

God bless Stockport.
( Lampito asleep in the poppies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:34, archived)

Which cinema is this?
I'm only 5 mins from stockport
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:36, archived)

The Savoy
Heaton Moor.

I'm no longer in Stockport though :(
( Lampito asleep in the poppies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:46, archived)

I remember when everything woz fields
We used fields for everything back then. Pots, hats you name it
( abunar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:15, archived)

youngster.
I remember when even the FIELDS were fields.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:19, archived)

I remember when all this was fields.
/database programmer
( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:21, archived)

"Fancy a delicious curry after the main feature?
Why not try the Rupaili, only 300 yards from this cinema."

*cue Pearl and Dean music - pa pa pa pa pa pa pa paah paah paah pa pa pa pa pa pa pa paaaaaaaaah pah*
( FoldsFive Gold Rings, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:21, archived)

Heh, in my hometown it was The Sandpiper.
And the reason why not was that it had been closed down by the health inspectors about a year before, but they'd payed for the adverts in advance so the cinema kept showing them.
:D
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:24, archived)

Hahaha.
That's ace :D
( Blue Star of Wonder *hearts* Guy Garvey very very much, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:30, archived)

I believe that the fire curtain is left over from when some Theatres were converted to Cinemas
Theatres would often use actual fire for lighting the stage, and it wouldn't have been a good idea to put it out during the intermission. Hence the fire curtain.
( SuperMatt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:22, archived)

Additionally, the safety curtain is normally directly behind the real one.
For people on the stage itself, the raising of the safety curtain is indication that the show is about to start. The audience rarely get to see it.
( SuperMatt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:27, archived)

Gas Lamps, maybe.
not actual fire. I don't think there were health & safety regs in the middle ages. so the "out in the intermission bit" is not really true.

Fire curtains were introduced after a couple of major theatre fires in the late 1800s.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:35, archived)

shhh
I was trying to sound intelligent, but the gas lamps could have caused fire, no?
( SuperMatt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:36, archived)

oh yeah, that's what I meant
you're right about everything except the actual real fire thing. And probably the intermission bit.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:41, archived)

My local cinema is the only one gas-lit cinema left in the UK, or so I'm told.
Hyde Park Picture House in Leeds - it's great.
( Mally Chickmas, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:58, archived)

Our old Odeon used to have love seats.
They were ace.
( Blue Star of Wonder *hearts* Guy Garvey very very much, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:23, archived)

there are a few that still do
I think the Omni in Embra has. But they always end up with dodgy stains.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:25, archived)

I remember going to see some stupid kid film
when I was a stupid kid with my friends Claire and Jo. We had one each and curled ourselves up on them. Pure innocence. We were probably sitting in years old flaky jizz and soaked in minge juice *boiks*
( Blue Star of Wonder *hearts* Guy Garvey very very much, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:27, archived)

it's ok.
we're all made from years old jizz and minge juice, really.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:29, archived)

Ha
true enough.
( Blue Star of Wonder *hearts* Guy Garvey very very much, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:32, archived)

I just had a lovely walk. It's nice and windy out.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:23, archived)

Wind. Shittest of all the weather.

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:25, archived)

Noo, I love wind.
My little sister is going to be on the news.
( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:26, archived)

Is that wind related too?

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:29, archived)

they didn't tether her properly
she's just been seen blowing over Finnisterre.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:31, archived)

:o

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:33, archived)

No, theatre related.
Pack of fucking posers on with her, I'd imagine.
( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:36, archived)

I don't know how you enjoy wind and have long hair, goes fucking everywhere.
The nature kind, not the bottom kind obviously.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:30, archived)

I had a hat on, and my hair is only down past my shoulders at the moment. It's really fucking thick, though, so doesn't go far.
It's handier when I don't straighten it.

Oh DG, you're like my best gal pal, all this talk of hair.
( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:34, archived)

I'm totally going to plait your hair when we have a sleep over, tell ghost stories and we can compare breast sizes too.

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)

Your BOTTOM HAIR goes everywhere?

( Once in Royal Druid's City My gosh! Is this some kind of... Halloween party?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:34, archived)

Are you saying Esme's got a hairy arse?

( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:36, archived)

She curls it round her bottom and sits on it and uses it as a little sledge when the weather gets colder

( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:43, archived)

It's just some downy fluff!

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:44, archived)

My hair is only aerodynamic one way
otherwise I look like I have a cat exploding on my head.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love voted most likely to be least likely, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:45, archived)

We should have a fabulous hair club.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:49, archived)

I'm totally IN

( Blue Star of Wonder *hearts* Guy Garvey very very much, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:54, archived)

I think my hair is fabulous
CAN I JOIN
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:54, archived)

Likewise.
from the front left. othwise I look like a I'm mid dog bite.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:54, archived)

That still happens at a cinema where I come from

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:35, archived)

pah! i remember when it was only TAKE DISCIPLINARY ACTION AGAINST CURTAIN
before the curtain's wife died and it kept coming to work smelling of piss and gin
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:36, archived)

:(

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:38, archived)

POETRY CORNER
plippety ploppety
christopher bongoman
boasted of moving his
copious bowels:

"cunts! check this shit out, made
in-fucking-testinally -
loo roll dissolved so i
had to use towels"
( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:38, archived)

deep

( Jingle Del Monte is looking to join the non-violent wing of the kkk, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:49, archived)

My local cinima has an amazing deal.
You text "film" to the number "241" on your orange (that's the company, not the colour) mobile phone (or a mate's (or someone from the internet's) one). They then text you back this code where you show it to the ticket salesperson and they'll give you two tickets for the price of one. ALSO, at my local Pizza place, called Pizza Express, you can use the same code to get two pizzas for ten pounds.

Plus you can pay something like £15 and you can go as many times as you want in a month.

Only thing I don't like is that they let children into the films these days, and sometimes they can be unruley.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:49, archived)

I REFUSE TO HUG ROSIE THAT FAT SLUT

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)

She's a very decent human being, and I value her contribution to our organisation, humanity, completely.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

WHAT ORGANISATION?
The company is broke, there aint even enough money in the coffers to justify me turning up to work and wearing a suit, it's over gonz. it is over.
( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:07, archived)