I've been to the Job Centre today.
I rode my bike there.
It was sunny when I left.
It was colder when I came home.
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'm going to work in 2 hours, yay

(King Baby Jesus is actually Zoidberg, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:56, archived)

Oh my.
How terrible!
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)

Yeah, but i'm just working my notice now, so that can be something to hold onto as I slowly depress myself.

(King Baby Jesus is actually Zoidberg, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

Don't kill youself.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)

Not yet anyway.

(King Baby Jesus is actually Zoidberg, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)

Worst poem ever.

( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:56, archived)

I will try harder next time.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:56, archived)

At least aim for a limerick or something simple.
I'll give you the first line: "When MONO went out to job-hunt..."
( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)

He tripped and fell into a big cunt

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)

I read that to the tune of When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney.
HELLO AARDVARK
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:04, archived)

HELLO BLUE STAR YOU'RE LOOKING FUCKING GORGEOUS AS EVER

( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)

Thank you, you charming liar.

( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

when you have killed, can i have jaffa cakes?

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)

I'll always have jaffa cakes for you, dear Binky.

( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

Dry and rubbish.

( Once in Royal Druid's City - When you need an undertaker..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:16, archived)

Fucking right.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:16, archived)

Fool who follows him!

( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:18, archived)

Ginge WRONGNESS.

( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:27, archived)

I'm not a fucking ginge.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:28, archived)

You don't get out of the camps THAT easily young lady.
You said down there\/ that you've got Ginge genes.
So, GET ON ZE TRAIN!
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:31, archived)

Fool!

( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:18, archived)

who, binky?

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:18, archived)

I'm getting the pickled eggs tonight.
ARE YOU READY FOR THEM?
( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:19, archived)

this is an upsetting development
i'm going to try and get a pie but it might not be a very big pie

it's a long way to bring a pie on the train. pie.
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:20, archived)

Sit with it on your lap the whole journey
talk to it and glare at people whenever they eye up your pie.
( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:22, archived)

_{aAA^aAaAAAAAAa^aAaaaAaaAaAAaarRrRRr^rdvaAaaAaAAAAaaaAAAaaaaAaaaAaRRRrRRRrRrR^rrk!!!!!!!!^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^!!!!!!!!!}
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

Goodness, I thought it smelled sexy in here this afternoon.
Hello, broadlyswordly.
( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)

Hello matey peeps

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)

BBbbBBbbbbbRrroOOoaaAdDDddsSSwwwwwooOoOorRRRddD!!!!!!!!
:D
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:10, archived)

_SssSstTttt^tuuuuuUuuuUj_Jj!!!!
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:23, archived)

Aardvark you're looking deliciously sensuous today.

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)

Kristine, you're glowing with delectable sensuality.

( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:04, archived)

that's armpit sweat she rubbed onto her forehead.

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)

it's too cold to sweat
that's actually grease from your hair
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:06, archived)

my pubic hair.

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:07, archived)

*trembles*

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)

*puts on bee costume*
*plays Blind Melon*
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)

*leaves*

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

oh...
k
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:14, archived)

aaaaall i can say is that my life is pretty plain
man, i love that song
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:13, archived)

*tap dances like a bee girl :D*

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:17, archived)

KkkKKKkkkRRRrIIiIiiiisssstTTtiIIinnneee!!!!!!
:D
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)

SssSS$$$ssStTTttTtTTuuUUUuUuUuUUujjJjJJjJJ!!
I like this celebration of arrivals.
Makes me feel speshul :D
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:10, archived)

:D
AaaA_rRddvvaarrK^Kkk!!!
( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)

Oh goodness, I AM enjoying this subthread. :D
Greetings, stuj, you tumescence-inducing sexual barbarian.
( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)

How long did it take to cycle there?
Also, how long did it take to cycle back?
( HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)

Roughly 30 mins there.
Roughly 30 mins back.
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

You should have stuck to the smooth surface of the roads then.

( Captn Hood-Butter, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)

I'd rather have a bicycle between me and the roads thanks.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)

I plucked a hair out of my left ear
it was eluding me for some time
I also went on the internet
and made a godawful poem
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)

I like poems.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

MONGO!

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)

MONGO!

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

CANDYGRAM FOR MUNGO!

( 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)

ME MUNGO

( Karma's Enemy face, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

Fuck off.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:15, archived)

you don't eat mash potato....
dude....


Can I feel your chin?
( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:21, archived)

I've had three apples today.
I'm still hungry, I'm going for a thai tonight.

I like thai food, it's like posh chinese food.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)

I like Asian takeaway.
Not a big fan of resaurants though.
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)

I don't like indian food that much.
I'll find something I like there, but I would never choose it.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:02, archived)

Same goes for me.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)

We should go out sometime.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)

Like on a date?

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:07, archived)

Yeah', sure, why not.
You can bring EJ if you want, I would be up with a threesome with you two.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

Unless that makes things awquard.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

I'd rather it be just you and I.
Maybe we could eat chinese off each others naked writhing bodies
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:10, archived)

Can I use your belly button as a satay-sauce dip holder?

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:12, archived)

Only if I can use your cock as a chopstick.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:14, archived)

Sicko

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:15, archived)

I thought you loved me :'(

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:15, archived)

Because you like to only eat with a spoon at home?

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)

I eat all my takeaways with chopsticks or fingers.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:04, archived)

I bet you eat sausage & mash with chopsticks and your hands

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)

I don't eat mash.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)

...wat

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

you 'eard

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:11, archived)

...I didn't realise after all these years I'd been talking to someone with an eating disorder....

( Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:19, archived)

i am cutting up baby socks

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

socks

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER.
( The Teviot Moose 's cock expands to fill the space available, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)

Are you going to make something pretty out of their shredded remains?

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)

What for?

( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

monkey

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:20, archived)

This response is inadequate for my comprehension.
I'm going to infer that you have a monkey that wears baby socks, and you're cutting up his socks to spite him.
( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:22, archived)

i am making a monkey.

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:30, archived)

That's pretty awesome.
Will you be trying to reanimate it on a stormy night, a la Frankenstein?
"IT'S ALIIIIIVE! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
"ook ook eek eek"
( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:33, archived)

im going to post it to a friend, yo.
hopefully it will animate on arrival
*casts voodoo spells in the dead of night*
( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:35, archived)

I'd better give you my address then, right?
RIGHT?
( Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37, archived)

NOT THIS MONKEY, friend :D

( O sleepy town of Binklehem, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:43, archived)

YOU'VE GOT A MONKEY?!

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:24, archived)

I've just put a MASSIVE pie in the oven. It took two hours to assemble
Now I'm going to the pub. HUZZAH
(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

I like pies.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:02, archived)

I'm at work today
I drove here
It was raining when I left
It's still raining now.
( Minimus *France dance*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)

Rain makes me :(

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:04, archived)

But sometimes it's nice.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:04, archived)

do the job centre dance!

( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)

*hops*
*wiggles*
*boogies*
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:04, archived)

I went to work today
We had a small ceremonay
To reward good workers
There were also some talkers
( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)

talkers or /talkers?

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)

Just people giving little shitty speeches about our business plans abroad
YAWN
( Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

Liven up boring meetings with a game of meeting bingo.

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:12, archived)

to the jobcentre
by bike i rode, twas hot on
my way, colder back
( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)

fuck haiku yeah

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)

HaiKUNT more like!!!!!!

( HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:02, archived)

it even kind of references seasons and everything!

( Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)

You went too?
We should've had tea after.
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)

So?

( Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)

What?

( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:06, archived)

I didn't. But I do sign on next Wednesday.
GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY ALREADY, IT'S BEEN SIXTEEN WEEKS.
( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:02, archived)

Fucking hell that's bad.
Silly Irish benefits.
LOL Irish are so silly they're probably waiting for you to pay them!! ROLF MAYO!
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:06, archived)

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:10, archived)

"Silly Irish benefits" are about 200 euro a week, aren't they?
not that silly, when you think about it.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:15, archived)

€204.
Awesome.
( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:20, archived)

How much is a pint in your part or Ireland these days?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love it's voucher exchange festival time., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:25, archived)

€4.50 for a pint bottle of cider in my local, they don't do it on tap.
I had pints for €4 last night, though. We went to see Knights of Leon, they were excellent.
( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:27, archived)

London prices! :(

( Undulating Tentacles of Love it's voucher exchange festival time., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:32, archived)

I would be at _least_ making calls every day.
God, I bet you whisper "Where's my money? Oh allright then.", or even just think it in passing, and then look at your account every day going "Dayum, playah' ain't gettin' paid yet. I got bills yo', and none of 'em are dollars."
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:08, archived)

I don't even have a bank account any more.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:09, archived)

Join the club!
I like not having a bank account though, it means that people can't take my money from me.
*ignores the fact that he doesn't have any money*
( MONO! wants you to join his crew!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:13, archived)

Yes! Ha, let them write their letters, they can't touch me.

( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:23, archived)

You can't, like, own, bank accounts man.
You're like, totally, given them, by, like, mother nature.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:14, archived)

HA, I didn't say own, I said had.
So fuck you in the ear with a sharp stick.
( Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:20, archived)

If we got rid of the Ginges there'd be JOBS FOR ALL!

( stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:15, archived)