Home » Talk » Message 6529738
Penny for the Guy
When I was about 10 me and my mates wanted to earn a few bob for sparklers and no-one wanted any jobs doing locally so THEY decided to stuff newspaper and straw up my trousers and sleeves, did my makeup and shoved me in a wheelbarrow and went knocking on all their neighbours doors saying "Penny for the Guy" the neighbours were so impressed I hadn't ended up in hospital going down a VERY steep hill that we made about £5 and got two packs of sparklers and were well happy.
Bonfire stories?
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Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:34,
archived)
Back in Scouts, we did Penny for the Guy
It was 7pm. A couple didn't answer their door, so we turned and left. I couldn't see the fact I was walking over a trellis-covered pond and smashed through it.
Wet through. Twisted ankle. Good times.
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Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:36,
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Good thing you had an inflatable with you
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St.Minimus *gasp* It's got chicken legs ^_^, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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lolololfatface
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Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
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Who said anything about that?
I thought the scouts' motto was "Be Prepared"
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St.Minimus *gasp* It's got chicken legs ^_^, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:44,
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you paranoid attention seeking tit.
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:45,
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paranoid attention seeking tit fucking beaker
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Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:47,
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*FIVES*
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snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:48,
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you fucking beaker
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snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:48,
archived)
*BIG TENS*
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Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:48,
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fucking beaker
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:48,
archived)
Moonfaced beaker.
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:49,
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you know, you should mention on wannafeelold
that that video with christopher walken dancing to fatboy slim is nearly ten years old now.
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53,
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Has that site even updated since 2unlimited? It's been ages.
One update would have to be "The last time this blog updated was 6 months ago!"
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Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:57,
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have you tried pressing refresh?
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:58,
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I just haven't checked for a while since it stopped going for ages.
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Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:27,
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a month.
six months ago.
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:27,
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you fucking beaker.
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Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:58,
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I hope you didn't cry this much when you were in the pond...
it'd only have made matters worse you understand
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hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:19,
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I think he's starting to turn into Mykey.
Expect racist jokes by the end of the week.
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Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:26,
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You fucking wanker.
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mike woz ere winter gives me an excuse for my small penis, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:51,
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I once went to a firework display
There were lots of rockets and mortars.
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St.Minimus *gasp* It's got chicken legs ^_^, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:36,
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November 5th in Baghdad is pretty spectacular.
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HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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I'm the arsehole that goes around and posts hedgehogs into bonfires before they get lit.
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:36,
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Noooo :(
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St.Minimus *gasp* It's got chicken legs ^_^, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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only joking :)
I don't post them in, I pelt them in there like I'm pitching a baseball.
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:38,
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I once went out on Bonfire Night and trod in some dog shit and it was on my wellies and my mum had to wash it off my wellies and my mum was not very happy because dog shit smells.
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Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:36,
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dog shit she
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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" I once went out on Bonfire Night and trod in some she"?
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Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:45,
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That's the one.
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:49,
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I don't even own an bonfire.
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:36,
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i went to a fireworks display once.
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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I'm sick of your lies.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:45,
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I believe the last time I did that I was around ten years old, and Malcolm Allen gave us £10.
He scored our first Premiership winning goal.
Another insight.
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Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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I love bonfires. I don't like fireworks, but I do like making things burn.
Give me a roaring bonfire, a couple of comfy chairs, a stack of stuff to burn, a gin toddy or three, some potato hash, baked spuds, treacle toffee, parking and a metric fuckload of sparklers, and I am a happy happy girl.
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We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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I am a bit of a fire lover too
I love my fire pit but we rarely get to use it.
The kids around here are completely rubbish, we put the old mattress outside down the side of the house on monday in a vain hope that someone would take it for their bonfire but not a single person has even asked. I rang the council today instead.
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Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
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you know, bonfires are terrifically dangerous.
i know someone who had one collapse on them and they lost their hearing in one ear.
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:46,
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you should be more responsible.
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:46,
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I always am. I check what's being burnt, don't burn anything that might give off fumes,
check for hedgehogs and that, and I don't stack it too high. I also try not to use new wood, as it spits quite badly.
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We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53,
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yeah but it goes wrong for other people,
so you doing it is directly comparable.
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Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:56,
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Sorry, should I be lobbing bits of burning wood at your head or something?
I've been doing it all wrong!
Now stand still whilst I throw petrol over you. This wont hurt a bit.
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We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:57,
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They are. There was a lad used to live near me when I was little
who'd been pushed onto one. Massive scarring down the right hand side of his face and body, and he had very little hair on the right hand side of his head. He'd also lost the hearing, due to serious burns, and he'd lost a bit of his ear.
Nice lad.
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We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:57,
archived)
Called Simon was he?
Simon Niki
Depending on your frame of reference.
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The Teviot Moose 's cock expands to fill the space available, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:09,
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f tr
sparklers even more food
OH BOY, AM I FUNNY.
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Dave Trouser on a messageboard full of shitcunts. Pisstrumpet, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:57,
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FUNNY LOLZ
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We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:59,
archived)
I used to go to the bonfire at Clifton Park every year
But then they stopped putting it on because it cost too much.
True story, I know, it's hard to believe.
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:37,
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Oh one time I was drunk and had a sparkler and burned my hands a bit and it was too painful to open my fly
So my ex-girlfriend had to undo it and hold my winkie while I pissed.
'You can feel the wee coming out!' she exclaimed
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:38,
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I'm totally going to burn my hands with a sparkler.
Not if I'm out with my mum though , that would just be
awkward!
again!
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
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I remember being very little and running up to my mummy going 'MUM MY WILLY HURTS'
She put ointment on it and it was fine.
But I try that now and she acts all strange.
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:42,
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She didn't mind when I asked her to kiss mine better.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:46,
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Oh Mum!
You lovable whore
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:47,
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Clifton Park?
Bloody hell, haven't been there in ages. A trip to Rotherham next summer beckons...
(Well either that or Conisborough Castle).
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jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:40,
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Conisborough's better
Should've gone on my last visit. I was shocked to see though they've stuck a lid on the castle!
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
archived)
Aye, they did that back in the mid 90s.
Looks pretty good truth be told.
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jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:44,
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I'll have to have a wander up there
Scared of heights see, so when it was just a ruin I couldn't go up it. Now it has floors I'll be fiiiiine
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:44,
archived)
I went to a beach display and bonfire a few years ago when there was a really strong wind.
Just as the guy started to catch fire, the wind knocked it over and it fell in a river and floated away.
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HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:38,
archived)
hahahaha
that's quite funny
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Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:42,
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It recieved a bigger cheer than any of the fireworks that night.
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HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:45,
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~~~~Wavy lines~~~~
Back when I was 13 I had an altercation with a Volvo, and lost. Badly. Totally mangled my ankle so I was on crutches for months. Mum, in her infinite wisdom, took me to a public bonfire, which to be honest was a bit crap. Half the fireworks didn't light, and the bonfire itself was tiny at best. At the end of the bonfire one of the brain-dead organisers decided to dispose of the duff fireworks by lobbing a whole box of them on the fire itself. It's amazing how fast you can run on crutches when you see a brightly coloured rocket flying straight at your face.
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jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:38,
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If it was flying at your face, why didn't you just step to the side?
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HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:40,
archived)
Scooby-Doo-itis
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
archived)
Homing fireworks.
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
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You're like Fiddy Cent only not as black.
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:40,
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You should get out of QOTW mode when you return here.
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Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:40,
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I have.
No mentions of Honda Accords, mistakes or falling asleep in strange places, see?
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jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
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but which comfortable under 16s off of the telly do you want to slip yourself into?
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hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:51,
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She's over 18.
Legal now...
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jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:59,
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I bet he was noncing all over the rockets
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:42,
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You'd have punched the firework out the way then gone after the guy responsible in your HONDA ACCORD
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St.Minimus *gasp* It's got chicken legs ^_^, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:42,
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Whilst on drugs.
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Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:45,
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That was his first mistake
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Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:46,
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Someone had to say it I guess.
Might as well be the gay Thundercat.
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jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:50,
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When I was in Scouts we used to help build the local bonfire (it was about 16 feet high) and watch as the pyros put the display together
and used to get free entry to the display in the evening
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magnum, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:41,
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And in return the pyros used to get entry into you?
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:42,
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my cousin is annoyingly brilliant
she hates to be outdone, so when her mate got his pyrotechnics licence she had to go out and get one too. She now runs a pub in halifax and they are having a display tomorrow - it better be fucking good!
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Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:45,
archived)
My dad tells me that when I was little I didn't give a shit about the fireworks.
All I cared about was getting a jacket spud or a hot dog.
Once I'd had that I'd say it was time to go home.
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stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:44,
archived)
An old friend and I had a garden sale, selling off our old video tapes, toys and games.
We told people we were raising money for the local fireworks show. We weren't. We spent the money on the Street Fighter 2 arcade machine in the local cornershop.
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Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:44,
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we used to fire rockets at each other in the park
used to buy those little screamers and use oar tubes or other hollow tubes as shoulder mounted rocket launchers.
used to buy hundreds of the bloody things, amazing no-one had anyone's eye out really.
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Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:44,
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careful, wicca'd will shout at you
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snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:49,
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It comes from living with a burns nurse.
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We Wish You A Wicca'd Witchmas - with many thanks to MongyChops, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:59,
archived)
My mate worked in the WORLD FAMOUS East Grinstead burns unit
one bloke there had been beaten with hammers then covered in petrol and set alight, fucking careless if you ask me.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:07,
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fucking hell
what a clumsy twat!
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Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:10,
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When I was a little girl I made a guy for a bonfire night party
at my dad's works social club. At this bonfire night party I developed my fear of fireworks after seeing a woman get hit in the face with a dying firework. It terrified me and I wouldn't go to fireworks displays for ages and ages.
There was no honey. The end.
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Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:50,
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Did the rocket shoot up her nose, carrying her skyward before exploding with the woman landing on a nearby pile of leaves (at the very bottom of which was a massive dog shit)?
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Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53,
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Sadly, no.
Maybe I wouldn't have been so scared if that had happened.
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Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:55,
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Why are girls silly like this and develop fears like this?
One of my old girlfriends would scream if she saw porridge because when she was little it burnt her mouth.
Girls are smelly.
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53,
archived)
I know a girl who's scared of spiders just because she had a lump in her vagina and it burst and a thousand tiny spiders ran out
Silly lass
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:55,
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I've just snorted at work because of this you massive prick.
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:56,
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At least she didn't turn out to be scared of vaginas.
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Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:57,
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I knew a girl who refused to take baths (she would only shower)
because of the bath scene from Nightmare On Elm Street she saw when she was little.
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Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Killing In The Reindeer Of, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:56,
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girls are smelly.
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:59,
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Pfft.
Even I'm not scared of that and that film terrified the fuck out of me. I saw it when I was about six. My ma and da had hired it from the video shop and hidden it. My brother and cousin found it and we all watched it. Scary times.
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Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:00,
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I'm kind of over it now.
I have my little panic house I build with my hands over my head. That protects me.
And we aren't smelly. We're lovely. Well, I'm lovely at least.
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Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:58,
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You are lovely. Lovely but mental.
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:01,
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I'm not even mental DG.
WHY YOU SAY SUCH HURTFUL THING?
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Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:02,
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....you are.
You just admitted to making a house out of your hands...
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:08,
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You're not as lovely as me.
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stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:02,
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You're so lovely they had to send you to the side of the planet so that you wouldn't absorb all the lovely that the rest of us so desperately need
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Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:05,
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This is true.
:D
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stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:07,
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needs more bommyknocker.
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the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:59,
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There is nothing that cannot be solved with more bommyknocker.
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The Teviot Moose 's cock expands to fill the space available, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:10,
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once upon a time there were three little bonfires
they all lived happily ever after
i'm going home now. bye!
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snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:59,
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BYE!
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St.Minimus *gasp* It's got chicken legs ^_^, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:00,
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No wait, don't go!
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Aardvark Lang Syne Do you have stairs in your house?, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:02,
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You're all retarded.
Hallowe'en was on Saturday.
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Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:06,
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I would have thought you'd be well on side with celebrating English people trying to blow up English people.
Or is this a "going over there, blowing up OUR enemies" thing?
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Silent Noit, Holy Noit, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:08,
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It isn't a celebration of Guy Fawkes trying to make the world a better place, it's a celebration of his execution.
And anyway, the useless fucker failed.
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Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:11,
archived)
so what's Hallowe'en a celebration of?
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Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:52,
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All Hallows Eve, it's supposed to be where the ghosts of the dead wander the earth.
You dress up as spirits so that they don't recognise you as alive and won't harm you.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Hallows_Eve#HistoryWhich is why non-scary halloween costumes are stupid.
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Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 18:01,
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It's also a harvest festival, kind of.
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Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 18:02,
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He was primarily trying to blow up a Scottish person though...
James I of England and VI of Scotland... The first combined monarch.
If memory serves correctly.
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The Teviot Moose 's cock expands to fill the space available, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:13,
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Guy Fawkes wasn't English.
He was a Spannish.
His name was Guido.
/FACTS
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stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:15,
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He was a Yorkshire man.
He took the name Guido while fighting for the Spannish in the Netherlands.
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Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:19,
archived)
Well fuck me sideways, you're right.
I guess I should have paid more attention when Blue Peter was on instead of just wanking over Lesley Judd.
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stuj BRING BACK DING YOU STUPID HATS!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:31,
archived)
John +
Judd
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:33,
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That's not what it's celebrating.
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Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:17,
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I heard he was just this guy that sold forks and was framed
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:19,
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We don't have them here, so I don't have any.
Well, we don't have them for Guy Fawkes.
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Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:13,
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My flatmate has an awful lot of fireworks. I may steal some this weekend.
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Dr Preference has an EXCITING NEW LINK in his profile, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:15,
archived)
Ooooh. I haven't seen fireworks in aaaages.
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Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:18,
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i once caught a 15lb common during a fireworks display
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mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:21,
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15lb commoner? did you nick it out of it's pram?
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Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:23,
archived)