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Hello, I'm here.
What's new? Fill me in.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:36, archived)
I'm going to a fucking b4sh tomorrow.

(I helped save b3ta! Katy Hysteria on a messageboard full of shitcunts. Pisstrumpet., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:38, archived)
*bash fives*

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:39, archived)
YES

(I helped save b3ta! Katy Hysteria on a messageboard full of shitcunts. Pisstrumpet., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:41, archived)
I'm going to get my car windows tinted so we can hold hands and NO-ONE CAN SEE.

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:42, archived)
OH MAN I CAN'T WAIT.

(I helped save b3ta! Katy Hysteria on a messageboard full of shitcunts. Pisstrumpet., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:44, archived)
You're definitely a girl, right?

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:45, archived)
Yeah, I'll be wearing a dress so you know.

(I helped save b3ta! Katy Hysteria on a messageboard full of shitcunts. Pisstrumpet., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:46, archived)
SPLENDID!
*best shirts*
(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:46, archived)
I'm having to miss that :(
unless I do more guitar lessons tonight which is a rarity this late. Bah.
(I helped save b3ta! Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Moohalaa laa laaaa, laa laa laa laa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:40, archived)
You useless bummer.
COME TO THE PIE BASH. COME. COME.
(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:40, archived)
+ ALL OVER MY FACE

(I helped save b3ta! Katy Hysteria on a messageboard full of shitcunts. Pisstrumpet., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:41, archived)
Only if there's no custard.

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:42, archived)
I WILL TRY but I am skint
I have a lovely lovely lovely iMac but I am skint
(I helped save b3ta! Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Moohalaa laa laaaa, laa laa laa laa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:47, archived)
Macfaggotry claims another social life :(

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:49, archived)
Get your homosexual arse over here.
*Newly purchased Mac Fives*
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive Gold Rings Sgt. Rock (is going to help me), Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:49, archived)
I just imagined 'Mac Friend' being said in the style of the 'football friend' episode of The Inbetweeners.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:51, archived)
That was indeed the meaning of my original post :)
I've changed it since.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive Gold Rings Sgt. Rock (is going to help me), Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:55, archived)
I'm on nights.
AND I feel like shite.
AND I'm not in the Newsletter this week.

GIVE ME SYMPATHY ATTENTION AND VALIDATION.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:41, archived)
Have you asked Wicca to bring your home a pity pie party bag?

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:46, archived)
She'll only scarf it all before the first service station on the way home :(

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:47, archived)
I'll send some in the post if you can sit under the letterbox and make sure she doesn't get there first.

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:48, archived)
Oh badger! I've had no front pages, newsletter mentions, illegitemate children OR rewitten pop songs with 'funny' lyrics.
WHY AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD, SOD YOU BADGER, IT'S ME ME ME ME ME
(I helped save b3ta! Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Moohalaa laa laaaa, laa laa laa laa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:46, archived)
SHOCK HORROR SURPRISE

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:54, archived)
SHUT UP RUSTMUFF
leicester doesn't do trains to cov direct anyway, I have to go via nuneaton - AND trainline says there's not many of them on sunday.

Or any, if I remember, else I go by Birmingham.

The coach, the X6 or X5 whichever it is, doesn't run on a sunday either.

BAH
(I helped save b3ta! Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Moohalaa laa laaaa, laa laa laa laa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)
I'd drive you but I don't like you

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)
Oh well
more pie for us. You're shit. And gay. YOU'RE SHIT AND GAY.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)
*ignites lighter*
*sways from side to side*
YOU'RE SHIT AND GAY!
(I helped save b3ta! hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)
YES

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:03, archived)
If you can get yourself to Northampton you can totally get in my car.

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:00, archived)
I totally may be getting a lift there and may totally go back to Nhampton with you and get a coach back from there
I think, I'll have to check traveline
(I helped save b3ta! Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Moohalaa laa laaaa, laa laa laa laa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:24, archived)
Gaz us if you do want a lift.

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:40, archived)
I've sublimed into a new phase of existence
I now flit between the opaque curtains of reality as easily as you would cross the room. How terrible it is to live your dull reality, petty mortal.

Apart from that, not much man.
(I helped save b3ta! Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:38, archived)
I thought we were friends.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:39, archived)
It is impossible to be friends with, well, we in the Aetherial plane call you humans 'the slow'
It takes a lot of mental effort to condescend to your level

However as much as we can be, yes. Yes we are friends. Foolish mortal.
(I helped save b3ta! Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:42, archived)
but we're BBF, right?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:49, archived)
BBF?
These words are not known to use, in the aether we do not use acronyms
(I helped save b3ta! Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:50, archived)
i meant BFF, BEST FRIENDS FOREVA

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:52, archived)
OH MAN TOTALLY

(I helped save b3ta! Chestnuts roasting on the oban fire This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)
Big Butted Fuckers?

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose 's cock expands to fill the space available, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:54, archived)
Do you have to run to your office to find your corpse after lunch?
ho ho
(I helped save b3ta! Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly, Moohalaa laa laaaa, laa laa laa laa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:40, archived)
When I run naked it looks like a cow's bell when it's being chased by some angry wasps down a steep hill.

(I helped save b3ta! Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:40, archived)
Are you black as well, then?
I don't approve of all this secretive blackness.
(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:41, archived)
My dad is black but my mum's an albino.
levels out really.
(I helped save b3ta! Little Donkey Gums can only last 22 hours without mentioning fannies, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:42, archived)
I heard that cr3 is a darkie.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:42, archived)
They're all at it.
Coming over here, pretending to be pasty faced geeks.
(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:44, archived)
Yeah! Terrists the lot of 'em.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:59, archived)
He 'whites up' and straightens his hair before going out.
Normally he resembles a belisha beacon that's had a large thorn bush placed over the orange light.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger venomous choad and keeper of the QOTW Fail Archive, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:43, archived)
Fuck all.
I had a walk, then a shower, and then I sat here.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Winterval fuck your fucking pie, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:41, archived)
I read that as "wank".

(I helped save b3ta! spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com :3, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:05, archived)
Someone posted something
someone probably got upset. You know, the usual bollix.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:41, archived)
I've only just got here and you've already upset me with your face.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:42, archived)
I pleased with that result.
I might have a cup of tea now.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:43, archived)
and a slice of cake ?

(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:46, archived)
I wish you liked me as much as I like you

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:49, archived)
I love everyone here with all my heart*
*May contain bollocks. Some of it may be true but is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)
HUR HUR HUR

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand Goblin dreary cunt, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:44, archived)
I'm growing a beard

(I helped save b3ta! St.Minimus *France dance*, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:47, archived)
How long?
Face fuzz or ZZ top?
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:48, archived)
Something along the lines of
this
(I helped save b3ta! St.Minimus *France dance*, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:57, archived)
are you going to knit into your own face?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)
In other facial hair news
I've decided that it's time my sideburns bridged the gap between the bottom of my ears and my jawline.

It's going quite well thus far.
(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:53, archived)
try going through puberty first.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:56, archived)
Your words cut like a knife made out of wax on a warm day :(

(I helped save b3ta! 'Twas the Noit before Christmas, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:58, archived)
Ok Mr puberty beard.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Less feeling than an Yngwie Malmsteen ballad., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 16:01, archived)