So, why aren't YOU at the zoo today?
I forgot, what with all the job stuff and home upheaval.

alt: I don't really understand voltage, current and power. Can anyone explain the difference between them in terms a retard could follow?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:32, archived)

I'm going tomorrow
*sings*
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:33, archived)

it's because that's where you live...
lol
( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:20, archived)

Did you know Fred Dinenage opened the VD clinic in St Mary's Hospital.
There's a plaque on the wall and everything. Apparently.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:34, archived)

Go on.
Get a dose, and go and prove me wrong.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:34, archived)

Yeah.
It's funny because he is known to be a bit of a Casanova.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:35, archived)

I heard that when he was presenting World Of Sport, back in the day
[post redacted for legal reasons]
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:36, archived)

Terror redactle.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:37, archived)

Tyranocensor rex.

( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:38, archived)

Stega-nographically-concealed-message-asaurus.

( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:39, archived)

VelociraptoDON'T FUCKING SAY THAT

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

Duck-billed platypuSAYTHATAGAIN AND I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING FACE IN

( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

Silver Back GorillFOR FUCK'S SAKE I WARNED YOU YOU'RE MAKING ME DO THIS I'M NOT ENJOYING IT OH MY GOD DON'T STOP BREATHING

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:43, archived)

And on that note, I'm off to bed.
'night up there.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:44, archived)

Don't wake up.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)

I forgot too :(
A reminder message would have been useful...
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:38, archived)

yeah me too
getting a text yesterday was a bit short notice :(
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:40, archived)

Aw man. Did we ALL fuck it up?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

tbh 24hrs isn't really much notice...

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:42, archived)

I dunno. We had months really.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:44, archived)

WHen you fail to plan, you may as well plan to fail.
And other such shit platitudes that pass as content on the kind of courses I get sent on nowadays.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:45, archived)

LOL
LEARNING WITH EXTINCTION
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:47, archived)

When you ASSUME you make a DONKEY with US.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:49, archived)

Let's send it up the FLAG POLE and see who BLUE SKYS IT

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

I booked the day off and wrote it on my work calendar and everything.
But then I got made redundant and forgot all about it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)

troo.
I feel bad, I would have liked to go.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:54, archived)

Innit.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:57, archived)

I got one.
Last night.
:(
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:40, archived)

Reminding you of the ASBO in force
banning you from the monkey enclosures.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

*drones* #saturday at monkey world... wishing i had never been born...#

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:42, archived)

Wait, what are you talking about?

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

secret zoo clique meeting

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:43, archived)

FUQUE

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)

Not aloud in the zoo.
also, is there some sort of zoo bash?
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)

Yeah. Secret one.
Don't tell anyone.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:47, archived)

i invite you to my house, to my dads house, to my pub,
and you won't even let me come to the zoo with you? what sort of forum pal are you eh? I'll tell you what, a SHIT ONE! I HATE YOU, YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

i'M GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS AND CUT MYSELF.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=luM6oeCM7Yw&feature=related
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)

don't blame me
blame the cunt who organised it
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)

some sort of ex b3tan super clique zoo trip?
and when i super, i mean super-sized. because of lot of people online are fat.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Wed 9 May 2012, 13:03, archived)

Yeah.
That's why I snubbed it. I said "Have you asked WP?" and they were like "Who?" and I said "Well fuck you all. That's an outrage. I'll not go." and they were all "PLEASE bm, it won't be any good without YOU" and i was all "too late mofos. no windy pig, no bm."
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:09, archived)

considering further up the board you admitted to have plain forgotten,
i find it hard to believe that both that statement and this could be true. you're lying to someone BM, and my suspicion is that it is me.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

I promise I would never lie to you, piglet.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

come to my house then you prick.
i might even persuade ladypig to bake you a cake to put in your fat fucking face.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Wed 9 May 2012, 13:16, archived)

Cool. I'll gaz you some fucking dates tonight if I remember. YOu can fucking pick one

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:53, archived)

watt? lol, im well funny

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:50, archived)

I'm ampressed

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

Sorry. Couldn't resist
ance
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)

Ohm my God

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:56, archived)

I'm always shocked by this place's capacity for shit puns

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:03, archived)

arc at her

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:08, archived)

I feel I'm being l.e.d. into a pun trap

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:11, archived)

And I thought this thread had so much potential!

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

your optimism is completely groundless

( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:32, archived)

(printed circuit) board of that now.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

ZOMG LECTRISITY LOLZ

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

I could, but you'd only forget.

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

This is all your volt.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:57, archived)

You've got no excuse,
you live in Ampshire don't you?
( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:59, archived)

think of it like water
then voltage = the amount of pressure the water's under

and current = how much water is flowing through the pipes

and power = how much water flows in a given time

disclaimer: don't plug water into the mains you fucking bellend
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:09, archived)

and hey, resistance is how thin the pipes are
this is a pretty good analogy, imma copyright this or sutin
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:10, archived)

what is brown water?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:12, archived)

lovely delicious electric gravy

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

Nah.
Dunt make sense.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:12, archived)

FUCK YOU
REALLY FUCKING SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT NOW

FUCK YOU

SERIOUSLY

CUNT

FUCK OFF

FUCKING BALDMONKEY CUNT
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

You make no fucking sense and then blame me.
Shove a lightbulb up your arse and piss out something moderately more illuminating than your bullshit elexplanation
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:20, archived)

That's right; I said "elexplanation".
And I'm not even ashamed.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:26, archived)

Except 'current' and 'power' are defined as basically the same thing in your analogy.
Well done.
( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

well no, current is the instantaneous OH FUCK YOU TOO

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

Knock knock
Who is there?
Not gilgamesh. His comprehension of doors led to him standing in the middle of the road clanging a long stick against a nearby lamp post.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:23, archived)

I did a spreadsheet and it says I'm about 400 times better than you

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:27, archived)

Yeah.
At incomprehensibly shit water-electricity analogies.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:28, archived)

lightguy is better than you.

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)

I'm totally at the zoo today,
you're missing out on the giraffe culling
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:10, archived)

understanding electricity is easier if you think about it in the same way as water
current is the flow of electrons within the wire, and can be thought of in much the same way as the flow of water.
voltage is the electrical potential difference between two points. think of it like the difference in water pressure between two points, the water will flow from high pressure to low pressure. volatage works in a similar way, the higher the voltage the higher the current.
power is a broad term and means the rate at which energy is transferred. the watt is measured in how many joules of energy you use per second

this has been lightguy, your guide to world of facts
( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:11, archived)

excellent description
cheers
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

FUCK YOU I SAID THAT FUCKING EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME AND HE COPIED ME OH GOD I HATE YOPU

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

Yopu; Destroyer Of Meals.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:21, archived)

LOL! HE CANT EVIN TYP

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)

I'm glad none of you lot were my lecturers at college, I'd still be in year one

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:25, archived)

So... what is the difference between a year, a week and a meter.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:27, archived)

what is resistance?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

something the borg find futile

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)

Hot French birds in "'Allo 'Allo"

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:21, archived)

ah, NO actually because right, the electrons flow in the opposite direction to the conventional flow of current so fuck you big style you copying turdfaced copycat cunt bastard fuck

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)

i know but i left that out in order not to confuse baldmonkey. note i never specify in which way the electrons flow. check and mate, i am the puppet master, etc.

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:19, archived)

YEAH RIGHT, FUNNY HOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING RIGHT AFTER I TELL YOU
YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF REPREHENSIBLE CUNTOID
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)

Oh shit.
I understood it just now, but then gilgamesh came along and confused me again.
WHY CAN'T HE KEEP HIS AWFUL MUDDLED THOUGHTS TO HIMSELF? :(
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:25, archived)

Yeah but no but yeah but that's pretty irrelevant tot the question.

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)

so ... when you flush your toilet you don't care which way the current of water flows?

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:31, archived)

Which part of the electricity is the flush then?
You have totally fucking ruined this for me.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:33, archived)

right, this should clarify everything
voltage is like when you're halfway to the vinegars but you remember that time you walked in on your granny in the bathroom

current is when you repress the thought of her distended pudendum, grit your teeth and keep wanking like a brain-damaged tramp

and power is when you ejaculate a few drops of watery spaff and weep into a Kleenex because your life is empty and all your friends secretly hate you
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:39, archived)

i dunno what a zoo is but its raining so fuck taht

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:24, archived)

you should change your name to "AWESOME Quinten"

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:29, archived)

You should change your name...
oh, I just can't be bothered. If anyone fancies finishing this sentence for me, be my guest.
So are we going to Oxford or summink?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:30, archived)

FUCKING HELL
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18005328

What is going on?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:32, archived)

We should start a campaign.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:36, archived)

I just can't stand it anymore Balders
People need to stop encouraging this cretin.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:40, archived)

i didn't even change it to this, modolith hacked my account and raped me of all dignity

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:34, archived)

Shittest. Mod. Ever.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:36, archived)

4srs

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:39, archived)