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So, why aren't YOU at the zoo today?
I forgot, what with all the job stuff and home upheaval.

alt: I don't really understand voltage, current and power. Can anyone explain the difference between them in terms a retard could follow?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:32, archived)
I'm going tomorrow
*sings*
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:33, archived)
it's because that's where you live...
lol
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:20, archived)
Did you know Fred Dinenage opened the VD clinic in St Mary's Hospital.
There's a plaque on the wall and everything. Apparently.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:34, archived)
Go on.
Get a dose, and go and prove me wrong.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:34, archived)
Yeah.
It's funny because he is known to be a bit of a Casanova.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:35, archived)
I heard that when he was presenting World Of Sport, back in the day
[post redacted for legal reasons]
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:36, archived)
Terror redactle.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:37, archived)
Tyranocensor rex.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:38, archived)
Stega-nographically-concealed-message-asaurus.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:39, archived)
VelociraptoDON'T FUCKING SAY THAT

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
Duck-billed platypuSAYTHATAGAIN AND I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING FACE IN

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
Silver Back GorillFOR FUCK'S SAKE I WARNED YOU YOU'RE MAKING ME DO THIS I'M NOT ENJOYING IT OH MY GOD DON'T STOP BREATHING

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:43, archived)
And on that note, I'm off to bed.
'night up there.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:44, archived)
Don't wake up.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
I forgot too :(
A reminder message would have been useful...
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:38, archived)
yeah me too
getting a text yesterday was a bit short notice :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:40, archived)
Aw man. Did we ALL fuck it up?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
tbh 24hrs isn't really much notice...

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:42, archived)
I dunno. We had months really.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:44, archived)
WHen you fail to plan, you may as well plan to fail.
And other such shit platitudes that pass as content on the kind of courses I get sent on nowadays.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:45, archived)
LOL
LEARNING WITH EXTINCTION
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:47, archived)
When you ASSUME you make a DONKEY with US.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
Let's send it up the FLAG POLE and see who BLUE SKYS IT

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
I booked the day off and wrote it on my work calendar and everything.
But then I got made redundant and forgot all about it.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
troo.
I feel bad, I would have liked to go.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:54, archived)
Innit.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
I got one.
Last night.
:(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:40, archived)
Reminding you of the ASBO in force
banning you from the monkey enclosures.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
*drones* #saturday at monkey world... wishing i had never been born...#

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:42, archived)
Wait, what are you talking about?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
secret zoo clique meeting

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:43, archived)
FUQUE

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
Not aloud in the zoo.
also, is there some sort of zoo bash?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
Yeah. Secret one.
Don't tell anyone.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:47, archived)
i invite you to my house, to my dads house, to my pub,
and you won't even let me come to the zoo with you? what sort of forum pal are you eh? I'll tell you what, a SHIT ONE! I HATE YOU, YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
i'M GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS AND CUT MYSELF.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=luM6oeCM7Yw&feature=related
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
don't blame me
blame the cunt who organised it
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
some sort of ex b3tan super clique zoo trip?
and when i super, i mean super-sized. because of lot of people online are fat.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
Yeah.
That's why I snubbed it. I said "Have you asked WP?" and they were like "Who?" and I said "Well fuck you all. That's an outrage. I'll not go." and they were all "PLEASE bm, it won't be any good without YOU" and i was all "too late mofos. no windy pig, no bm."
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:09, archived)
considering further up the board you admitted to have plain forgotten,
i find it hard to believe that both that statement and this could be true. you're lying to someone BM, and my suspicion is that it is me.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
I promise I would never lie to you, piglet.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
come to my house then you prick.
i might even persuade ladypig to bake you a cake to put in your fat fucking face.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:16, archived)
Cool. I'll gaz you some fucking dates tonight if I remember. YOu can fucking pick one

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
watt? lol, im well funny

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:50, archived)
I'm ampressed

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
Sorry. Couldn't resist
ance
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
Ohm my God

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:56, archived)
I'm always shocked by this place's capacity for shit puns

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
arc at her

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:08, archived)
I feel I'm being l.e.d. into a pun trap

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:11, archived)
And I thought this thread had so much potential!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
your optimism is completely groundless

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:32, archived)
(printed circuit) board of that now.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
ZOMG LECTRISITY LOLZ

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
I could, but you'd only forget.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
This is all your volt.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
You've got no excuse,
you live in Ampshire don't you?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:59, archived)
think of it like water
then voltage = the amount of pressure the water's under

and current = how much water is flowing through the pipes

and power = how much water flows in a given time

disclaimer: don't plug water into the mains you fucking bellend
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:09, archived)
and hey, resistance is how thin the pipes are
this is a pretty good analogy, imma copyright this or sutin
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:10, archived)
what is brown water?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:12, archived)
lovely delicious electric gravy

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
Nah.
Dunt make sense.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:12, archived)
FUCK YOU
REALLY FUCKING SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT NOW

FUCK YOU

SERIOUSLY

CUNT

FUCK OFF

FUCKING BALDMONKEY CUNT
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
You make no fucking sense and then blame me.
Shove a lightbulb up your arse and piss out something moderately more illuminating than your bullshit elexplanation
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:20, archived)
That's right; I said "elexplanation".
And I'm not even ashamed.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:26, archived)
Except 'current' and 'power' are defined as basically the same thing in your analogy.
Well done.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
well no, current is the instantaneous OH FUCK YOU TOO

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
Knock knock
Who is there?
Not gilgamesh. His comprehension of doors led to him standing in the middle of the road clanging a long stick against a nearby lamp post.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:23, archived)
I did a spreadsheet and it says I'm about 400 times better than you

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:27, archived)
Yeah.
At incomprehensibly shit water-electricity analogies.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
lightguy is better than you.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
I'm totally at the zoo today,
you're missing out on the giraffe culling
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:10, archived)
understanding electricity is easier if you think about it in the same way as water
current is the flow of electrons within the wire, and can be thought of in much the same way as the flow of water.
voltage is the electrical potential difference between two points. think of it like the difference in water pressure between two points, the water will flow from high pressure to low pressure. volatage works in a similar way, the higher the voltage the higher the current.
power is a broad term and means the rate at which energy is transferred. the watt is measured in how many joules of energy you use per second

this has been lightguy, your guide to world of facts
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:11, archived)
excellent description
cheers
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
FUCK YOU I SAID THAT FUCKING EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME AND HE COPIED ME OH GOD I HATE YOPU

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
Yopu; Destroyer Of Meals.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:21, archived)
LOL! HE CANT EVIN TYP

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
I'm glad none of you lot were my lecturers at college, I'd still be in year one

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:25, archived)
So... what is the difference between a year, a week and a meter.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:27, archived)
what is resistance?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
something the borg find futile

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
Hot French birds in "'Allo 'Allo"

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:21, archived)
ah, NO actually because right, the electrons flow in the opposite direction to the conventional flow of current so fuck you big style you copying turdfaced copycat cunt bastard fuck

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
i know but i left that out in order not to confuse baldmonkey. note i never specify in which way the electrons flow. check and mate, i am the puppet master, etc.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:19, archived)
YEAH RIGHT, FUNNY HOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING RIGHT AFTER I TELL YOU
YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF REPREHENSIBLE CUNTOID
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
Oh shit.
I understood it just now, but then gilgamesh came along and confused me again.
WHY CAN'T HE KEEP HIS AWFUL MUDDLED THOUGHTS TO HIMSELF? :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:25, archived)
Yeah but no but yeah but that's pretty irrelevant tot the question.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
so ... when you flush your toilet you don't care which way the current of water flows?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:31, archived)
Which part of the electricity is the flush then?
You have totally fucking ruined this for me.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:33, archived)
right, this should clarify everything
voltage is like when you're halfway to the vinegars but you remember that time you walked in on your granny in the bathroom

current is when you repress the thought of her distended pudendum, grit your teeth and keep wanking like a brain-damaged tramp

and power is when you ejaculate a few drops of watery spaff and weep into a Kleenex because your life is empty and all your friends secretly hate you
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:39, archived)
i dunno what a zoo is but its raining so fuck taht

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
you should change your name to "AWESOME Quinten"

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:29, archived)
You should change your name...
oh, I just can't be bothered. If anyone fancies finishing this sentence for me, be my guest.
So are we going to Oxford or summink?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:30, archived)
FUCKING HELL
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18005328

What is going on?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:32, archived)
We should start a campaign.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
I just can't stand it anymore Balders
People need to stop encouraging this cretin.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:40, archived)
i didn't even change it to this, modolith hacked my account and raped me of all dignity

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
Shittest. Mod. Ever.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
4srs

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:39, archived)