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morning
talk among yourselves, I'm busy
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 7:42, Reply)
How very dare you!

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 7:48, Reply)
I was late for work.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 7:59, Reply)
Back to the UK today :(

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:02, Reply)
Everybody's dead Dave

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:04, Reply)
it's a bit nippy, put a jumper on

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:08, Reply)
My sunburn will keep me warm

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
I look even more ridiculous than usual

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
I bet you look hench

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:19, Reply)
Alwez

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:35, Reply)
but it's 420 day
cheer up
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:21, Reply)
204, you yankee prick.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:51, Reply)
^upset

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:07, Reply)
You've literally ruined my day.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:14, Reply)
blaze it
that'll cheer you up
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:23, Reply)
Drugs are bad, m'kay?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:28, Reply)
bad drugs are bad

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:36, Reply)
My experience in this field is somewhat limited.
The only time I smoked a significant quantity of hash, I spent the following day suffering from a splitting headache. It would be unfair if be to blame the drugs, though, as I was also very drunk.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:42, Reply)
Alright, Rowley Birkin.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:44, Reply)
It felt well chilly last night

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:28, Reply)

t ell ch
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:30, Reply)
how do you think I got warm?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:41, Reply)
Oh, yeah.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:49, Reply)

a o +s
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:36, Reply)
probably eating unwashed yams again

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:37, Reply)
I ain't got time to wash no yams

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:38, Reply)
i yam what i yam

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:06, Reply)

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:24, Reply)
You say that
but my stomach's been terrible. But then my diet has consisted mainly of cheese and pork products for the last week.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:38, Reply)
they do eat vegetables in Italy

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:39, Reply)
they do

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:41, Reply)
The tomatoes were excellent, actually

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:41, Reply)
gay sex

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:43, Reply)
the tomatoes are killer?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:44, Reply)
thanks, now this^ makes no sense whatsoever

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:45, Reply)

sex Odin
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:46, Reply)
tomatoes aren't vegetables, silly boots
they're actually a species of lizard
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:10, Reply)
Actually, there ARE no vegetables
only Zuul
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
oh yes. whoops

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:22, Reply)
m'lady

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:19, Reply)
i've been ill all week and i'm fucking bored off my tits
i don't even have tits to keep me entertained
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:31, Reply)
What ails you my friend?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:33, Reply)
it's like a cold but without the snot
my throat's been sore since the weekend, i've got no energy (nothing new there), my head hurts and i ache

i can't do anything because i've got no energy so it's down to the internet and tv to keep my pecker up!
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:37, Reply)
Sounds like the mumps.
Are your glands swollen?
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:39, Reply)
yeah they are but i think i had the mumps when i was a kid
man that's a shit name for a disease, it sounds like a kid's programme
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:41, Reply)
It does, rather. Something animated featuring large, blue, fluffy characters.
I managed to avoid getting them as a kid and got them as a twentysomething instead, when they hit you ten times harder.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:42, Reply)
haha indeed
i'm just checking with my mum to see if i did have the mumps when i was a kid, if not i reckon you might be right. it looks like i've got the desperate dan chin bit to come if so

edit - the symptoms match up with the nhs website's diagnosis of the mumps, it's either that or bad aids
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:47, Reply)
You typically get a high fever during seroconversion, if that puts your mind at rest.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:56, Reply)
Mindpiss

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:59, Reply)
it does, thanks doc!
now if we can just rule out swamp fever, hammer toe, SARS and ebola i'll be a happy chump
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:03, Reply)
I recently spent some time in hospital
Where I was told by some jumped up GCSE failing consultant, that, "someone your age should not be this unwell, we have to consider HIV as a serious possibility"
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:05, Reply)
bloody hell, and they say the old fashioned bedside manner is a dying art!

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:07, Reply)
Yeah just after they had given me a shot of morphine and about 10 minutes after regaining consciousness
From a seizure. Really odd thing is I never saw that doctor again for the rest of the ten days I spent in there.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:13, Reply)
Probably not a real doctor.
A shirt, a tie, and an ID badge will let you get away with a great deal, in a hospital.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:16, Reply)
This actually did cross my mind. Genuinely and my girlfriend had just left it was about 4am on the day I was admitted. And really wasn't with it at all.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:18, Reply)
They'll rumble 2Can, eventually.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:30, Reply)
He hasn't been around for a while has he?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:49, Reply)
Someone should check his greenhouse cam.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:53, Reply)
There's a black man masturbating in there.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Standard.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:02, Reply)
There was a trial a few years ago
where one of the witnesses had been tested for HIV about nine months previously and been told he was neg, except the clinic had given him the wrong results. Counsel for the prosecution was cross-examining him and asked something like "And was this at the time you learned you were HIV positive?", and the guy completely freaked out on the witness stand. The judge said "This must never happen again."
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:15, Reply)
Fucking hell.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:18, Reply)
holy shit

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:23, Reply)
He got called as a witness whilst unaware that he'd had the wrong test result?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:50, Reply)
Yes.
So it just goes to show that you learn something every day, even if that something is that you're HIV positive.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:54, Reply)
right well my mum says i've had the mumps so i guess it's just some shitty virus
it's a shame cos i was looking forward to eating some cow pie
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:10, Reply)
Seroconversion

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:59, Reply)
Right you are, Mr. Busy.
Hacked and mangled my way through a Bach fugue last night then went out to listen to some yoots play the guitar and sing. It were reet canny.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:35, Reply)
FUGU!
newyork.seriouseats.com/images/20090212-fugu.jpg
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:40, Reply)
It was pretty much like that.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:45, Reply)
K

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 8:42, Reply)
WW's never coming back

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:16, Reply)
all the good ones from the old days when the site was good have left and there are only pricks left

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:22, Reply)
Before my time, it was shit when I got here, or perhaps one helped towards the other, ahaha

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:25, Reply)
Don't blame her

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:27, Reply)
It's probably spanish's fault. I can't confirm it 'cos I can't see his posts.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:33, Reply)
defo

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:35, Reply)
*sounds Ignore Horn*

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:36, Reply)
I know it's crass to make a point of ignoring someone but he's literally the only person who has driven me to it.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:51, Reply)
He put me on ignore because I kept pointing out he gazzed me asking me to knock off the bullying because he was abloobloobloo about his wife leaving him

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:57, Reply)
He gazzed me being all nice but laying on the emotional martyrdom and possible thinly-veiled attempts of suicide.
I didn't think they were serious enough to warrant my concern.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Yeah, he said he might kill himself.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:21, Reply)
I just know manolith has his ban hammer ready

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:58, Reply)
it's standing to attention

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:09, Reply)
I can't put anyone on Ignore without first taking someone else off.
My Ignore Horn is way bigger than yours.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:07, Reply)
I didn't know there was a maximum number of people you could ignore.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:09, Reply)
when the site was cobbled together, nobody could have forseen the quivering tower of upset that is monster munch

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:13, Reply)
i'm a bit sad i never made his ignore list, i was never on qftw tho like that prick

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:15, Reply)
there's been one new thread on qotw since sunday

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
I just used it as a filter for when I was reading QOTW.
I can tolerate a lot of things, but not fifteen page essays on needing a shit, or any of Spanky Hanky's sex lies.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:20, Reply)
the 'filter' is just to not read it, ma8

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:25, Reply)
It used to have the odd good story,
and a tremendous amount of upset. I enjoyed that aspect of it.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:41, Reply)
the stories were always terrible
but the upset was frequently a treat - any 100+ reply thread with that mental Australian, for example
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:47, Reply)
Rob Fairholme's 4,400ltr pool of tears,
nonce-punching, that cartoon of the bloke trying to finger a woman at a restaurant, and anything from Albert Liemallow - there was a surprising amount of entertainment on that board.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:55, Reply)
Around 75, I think, but it's a combined total with the list of users that you mark as Friends.
Tell a lie, though - I regained a spare slot when I took vladimir off of Ignore.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:14, Reply)
you shouldn't remind me that you had vlad on ignore
it's potentially a ban-worthy offence
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
what is wrong with this guy?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
well have you seen his face, for one?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:19, Reply)
There can't be 75 regular posters these days, You must be able to long some of them off.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
No doubt I could take them all off - /talk doesn't seem to attract the QOTW crowd.
Not sure it's worth the risk, though. I took gonz off Ignore, at Shambles' urging, and that was a terrible mistake.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Well, he did immediately tell her to fuck off as soon as she reappeared,
so your theory's a solid one.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:39, Reply)
thing is, he's here right now being mostly reasonable. it's just at night when he goes a bit off the rails
he's dr jekyll and mr cunt
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:14, Reply)
So it's when he's had a cup of beer is it?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
thank goodness monster munch will talk to him

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
By day, Mr. Jovial Chatsky.
By night, Mr. Drinky McDrug-Tramp.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
and yet you still won't ban him, is he paying you or or something? i might have to gaz an actual mod not the work experience boy

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
i don't really see the need at the moment
his outbursts just seem to inspire pity more than anything. if people have legitimate complaints, gaz me. or a proper mod, if you prefer
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:28, Reply)
perhaps everyone who has him on ignore should just leave then, that'll thin the place out

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:33, Reply)
thing is, it's less people than frank had
and i didn't ban him
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:40, Reply)
yeah well maybe I'm too busy as well
did you consider that?
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:22, Reply)
how are you feeling now, Tangled?

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:27, Reply)
melancholic

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:56, Reply)
I'm sorry to hear that
is there anything I can do?
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:58, Reply)
just hold me

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:04, Reply)
Can do

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:06, Reply)
beaker
alright everyone

/edit: thanks guys
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:26, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:26, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:34, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:39, Reply)
alright penus beaker

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:42, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:44, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Outkast are shit.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:56, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:57, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:57, Reply)
Yes

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 9:58, Reply)
FFS

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:00, Reply)
no

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:04, Reply)
c-c-c-combo breaker
haha, 'member that?
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:08, Reply)
No.

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:09, Reply)
I posted that on Facebook when a mate and his friends were quoting the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody line-by-line
and got roundly flamed.
(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:13, Reply)
^round flamer

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:15, Reply)
strewth

(, Thu 20 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)