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2018, yeah?
Exciting stuff, right? I have a feeling it's going to be the year that b3ta becomes BIG. And I mean big - big as in 'a big wet splattery shit'.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:49, archived)
Big like in Tom Hanks Big?
where b3ta swaps identities with Reddit? And hilarity ensues before everyone learns a heartwarming lesson and appreciates the life they have?
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:52, archived)
I am that funny face prick off /board AMA!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:52, archived)
I don't know what you're talking about

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:55, archived)
your face is well lol

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:57, archived)
you should see me when I'm driving a forklift!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:58, archived)
hahaha I like it when people photoshop your face onto another person's body!!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:59, archived)
me too, it's the best!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:00, archived)
also, sometimes I amuse myself (possibly others) by calling photoshop 'potatoshop'
you can use that one if you like
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:00, archived)
that is inspired

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:06, archived)
proper woo yay!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:08, archived)
haha, spang!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:12, archived)
I watched a documentary on the Two Ronnies last night and got proper emotional at the end, like a big girl.
I'd had a few brandies which didn't help, but still ffs eh
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:52, archived)
alright beefy
I'll be honest, I'm getting bigger just thinking about it
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:53, archived)
I can imagine that read out in Del Boy's voice
it's not nice
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:55, archived)
getting a wide on thinking about it
absolutely sopping
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:55, archived)
it doesn't get much bigger than this
twitter.com/robmanuel/status/948129990918459392
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:57, archived)
no christmas ham this year though

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:59, archived)
that's coffee sorted.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:59, archived)
Maybe I should have tweeted my nectar points balance, before I spent it all on Christmas provisions?

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:11, archived)
There's a reason rob's an internet celebrity and you're not, m8

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:11, archived)
True.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:14, archived)
He just knows instinctively what people want to read about

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:32, archived)
Funny, I read that as 'internet calamity'.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:15, archived)
Is it shitter to be rob or robs stalker, I can't make my mind up

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:05, archived)
rob's stalker's stalker

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:12, archived)
The stalker

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:14, archived)
It's kind of him to post all that stuff so we can feel better about our own lives.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:50, archived)
It's going to rise from the ashes, like the England cricket team or sutin.
2018's got off to a flying start for me, as I almost hacked off the tip of my finger on New Year's Eve.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:59, archived)
keep trying, it shouldn't be too hard to do with a half decent knife

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:01, archived)
I think the problem is that my kitchen knife is actually too decent for my own good.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:05, archived)
blunt knives are more dangerous than sharp ones m8

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:12, archived)
lol, blunt

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:15, archived)
That is the conventional wisdom,
but the knife in question is an order of magnitude sharper than my other ones and I've cut myself badly with it twice now. I think the actual lesson to take away from all this is that handling sharp knives after an evening on the beers is a bad idea.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:16, archived)
Obviously you need to spend more time studying

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:47, archived)
Yeah butter knives are used in most fatal stabbings

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:38, archived)
I'm talking about kitchen injuries
www.google.co.uk/search?q=blunt+knives+dangerous&oq=blunt+knives&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.6361j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:55, archived)
Van Halen's leszzzz

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:49, archived)
As 2017 drew to a close, I showed my children how to expand those little condiment cups that McDonalds use.
Their minds were blown. Not sure how I can top that in 2018.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:13, archived)
top yourself

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:24, archived)
Not sure I'm liking this coordinated campaign of Internet bullying.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:29, archived)
cut off your cock and bollocks and eat them

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:31, archived)
Grow a silly beard and become a professional magician

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:34, archived)
fuck a chicken in public

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:35, archived)
And then bury all your clothes!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:56, archived)
I had that record :(

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 14:05, archived)
yeh

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:22, archived)
yeh?

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:23, archived)
alright 'Matt Bianco'

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:30, archived)
alright

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:33, archived)
+a noha

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:35, archived)
Big is good
Unless it's a tumor.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:54, archived)
B3ta is a tumour on the bollocks of the internet

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:01, archived)
IT'S NADDA TOOMAH!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:50, archived)
HIYA!!
Hope you all had a delightful respite.
How many colleagues have asked you about your Christmas yet..?

YAWN.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:06, archived)
I saw mine between Christmas and the New Year so all that guff's already over and done with.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:57, archived)
lol guff's

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:19, archived)
lol

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:30, archived)
lol

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:31, archived)
lol

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:33, archived)
lol?

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:46, archived)
løl

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:53, archived)
one of my developers just asked the business manager, who is ein Germaner
if he is happy with the final solution. Awkwaaaard.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 14:09, archived)
You work at the Fawlty Towers hotel AICMFP.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 14:16, archived)
si

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 14:30, archived)
Europes less succezzzz

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 14:37, archived)