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It's going to rise from the ashes, like the England cricket team or sutin.
2018's got off to a flying start for me, as I almost hacked off the tip of my finger on New Year's Eve.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 10:59, archived)
keep trying, it shouldn't be too hard to do with a half decent knife

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:01, archived)
I think the problem is that my kitchen knife is actually too decent for my own good.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:05, archived)
blunt knives are more dangerous than sharp ones m8

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:12, archived)
lol, blunt

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:15, archived)
That is the conventional wisdom,
but the knife in question is an order of magnitude sharper than my other ones and I've cut myself badly with it twice now. I think the actual lesson to take away from all this is that handling sharp knives after an evening on the beers is a bad idea.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:16, archived)
Obviously you need to spend more time studying

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:47, archived)
Yeah butter knives are used in most fatal stabbings

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:38, archived)
I'm talking about kitchen injuries
www.google.co.uk/search?q=blunt+knives+dangerous&oq=blunt+knives&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.6361j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:55, archived)
Van Halen's leszzzz

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 12:49, archived)
As 2017 drew to a close, I showed my children how to expand those little condiment cups that McDonalds use.
Their minds were blown. Not sure how I can top that in 2018.
(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:13, archived)
top yourself

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:24, archived)
Not sure I'm liking this coordinated campaign of Internet bullying.

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:29, archived)
cut off your cock and bollocks and eat them

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:31, archived)
Grow a silly beard and become a professional magician

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:34, archived)
fuck a chicken in public

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 11:35, archived)
And then bury all your clothes!

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 13:56, archived)
I had that record :(

(, Tue 2 Jan 2018, 14:05, archived)