Hello fatties.
Can YOU out-do Aberdeen?!

Let's have the weekly round up.


What do YOU think JMG's profession is, currently?
For bonus attention. Describe my living arrangements.


Currently. SIX b3tans know these two answers for sure.
That I am aware of.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:58, archived)

Professional Lithuanian.

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:59, archived)

RED RANDOMNESS!
*Red Ructions*
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)

Freelance IT technician
Helping the lonely wives and ladies of the toon with their computer problems.
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)

ETHERNET PORT MAN PET!

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)

Hamster groper
and you live in margaret thatcher's vagina.
(King Baby Jesus is actually Zoidberg, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)

There's no denying these accusations.

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)

are you the guy who sells the Big Issue outside Eldon Square?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)

I've never bought a Big Issue.
True JMG info, there.

I'm germophobic.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:02, archived)

I'm having a proper punk rock afternoon JMG
Stiff Little Fingers were bloody great
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:03, archived)

Gimp-Suit Fashionista

( Imhotep is Invisible - Hurrah, die Butter ist alle!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)

Dole, mum
Bald for the tie-breaker
( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:01, archived)

Something 9-5ish, which means you have to iron a shirt most days, and sit at a desk
and you live with two other blokes in a grotty two-up two-down wanking, eating junkfood and playing on consoles with your massive TV that you bought using the proceeds from your mundane desk job.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:02, archived)

I heard you used to grade the turds of lower league footballers by scooping them off the touch line and mushing them through a seive.
But they made you redundant because the gleam from your shiny bald head was blinding the referee.
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:03, archived)

WHO TOLD YOU?!
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((!
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:06, archived)

I got a flirty gaz on one of my online fake bird accounts from a joy-void in aberdeen.

( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

I think you're a salesmen of some sort or a milkman/postman. You never post in the mornings.
Also, I just realised it's 7/7 tomorrow, I was on the tube at the time when it happened and jogged from Shepherds Bush to Oxford Circus when I got chucked off, watching it all unfold.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:03, archived)

I got harrassed for a TV interview when that happened, because I was English
"Were any of your family harmed?" wasn't broadcast when I said "fortunately, they don't live that close to the blast area, 150km away to be precise", but they did show the bit where I said the imminent threat to Warsaw's underground (with its solitary line) was "something to be very worried about." They fucking lapped that scaremongering right up.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:06, archived)

I would have said " Yes...200 of my closes friends and relatives...MY COCKROACH FAMILY NOOOOO!!"

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

You also live on the back of a dog

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

you're a railway station announcer,
and you live in a flat above a corner shop.
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:06, archived)

I like this answer.
But I would prefer it if you added "cap" to the "flat" part.
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:07, archived)

I'd never get away with that.
I'd critique most destinations.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

you'd only have to go downstairs to get more vimto, though.

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

Personal trainer.
Or one of those generic office non-jobs.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:09, archived)

I don't know, and I don't really mind.
I don't judge people on where they live or what they do for a living.
( Wicca'd Witch - at the back with the glitter and safety scissors, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:09, archived)

I didn't realise we were judging, I thought we were just making things up about JMG's caravan made from bald

(glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMeel Filters out most swearing from /board/ and /talk/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:13, archived)

That's because you live in a scraping in the gravel and spit-rinse pig farmer's boots for a living.

( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:13, archived)

If they'd pay me, I'd do pretty much anything.

( Wicca'd Witch - at the back with the glitter and safety scissors, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:16, archived)

Sinead O'Connor impersonator

( Imhotep is Invisible - Hurrah, die Butter ist alle!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:10, archived)

Naked Bear Wrangler

(glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMeel Filters out most swearing from /board/ and /talk/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

The Newcastle Town Cryer.
Oh yez! (rpt x2)
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:13, archived)

IKEA furniture namer
A portakabin buried underneath another portakabin which is a sham front, advertising itself as a taxi company but isn't.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:17, archived)

I've just finished putting books on my new Whayapët

(glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMeel Filters out most swearing from /board/ and /talk/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:22, archived)

*Applause*

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:32, archived)

stadium of light tour guide, and a biffa bin at the back of the stadium

( mongychops you don't like him and he doesn't like you, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:19, archived)

Phantom Moob Groper

( hedonist in excelsis releasing the hounds since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:20, archived)

Surprise Sexist

( Imhotep is Invisible - Hurrah, die Butter ist alle!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:26, archived)

horse manicurist

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:36, archived)

and i think you live in sheltered accomodation

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:39, archived)

Crackwhore
crackhouse

aicmfroc
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:39, archived)

+ling
+ling
( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:41, archived)

God I can't stand La Roux anymore
She's fucking everywhere with her whiny screechy crappy fake london accent "singing". I don't give a shit if her mum was June Ackland on the bill or whatever, I just want her to shut the fuck up, no other singer has grated on me more than her EVER, and I am usually quite tolerant.
She's on my telly, radio and other peoples radios that I can't turn off. :(
( Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)

Which one is she?

( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)

This whiny cunt
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lVaWYkKOdY&feature=related
( Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:56, archived)

I fucking love la roux

( SickRik i am a whore and my boyfriend's in prison, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)

Nothing wrong with a nice roux
Lots of stirring though
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:56, archived)

I don't know who she is save for a BBC News article.
FUCK POPULAR CULTURE
( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:56, archived)

YOU'RE WELL COOL YOU ARE

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:57, archived)

I DON'T EVEN OWN A TV

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:59, archived)

What about the music underneath the singing though?
La Roux are a duot, so they might only be half bad
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:58, archived)

you know I think it would be quite a good song if someone else was singing it.

( Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:59, archived)

I don't really know what song you're on about
I only know of their existence because TutT was touting one of their tracks a month back.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)

That one up there ^

( Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:03, archived)

Reminds me of the music that loaded when I played my Commodore 64

( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:07, archived)

aah. is she the one with the huge quiff thing?

(Nameless One (horse open sleigh) Woooh, scary. Not really., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:58, archived)

Yes!

( Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:59, archived)

she appeared to be have fish scales on her head during a song yesterday, cant remember what program though

(Nameless One (horse open sleigh) Woooh, scary. Not really., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)

I really didn't like 'in for the kill'
as her voice really irritated me. I like 'bulletproof' yet I heard another song from the album this morning on the radio and it sounds near identical so *shrugs*
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)

The White Lies had the same effect on me
one good track, aquired the album, realised it's all regionally-accent guitar-driven dross, gave up.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:03, archived)

it's all been shit since The Ramones finished

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:00, archived)

The Ramones will never finish.
Punk will never die. Even if all four original Ramones already have done.
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:04, archived)

Tommy isn't dead is he?
If he is, why was I not informed?
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

Ah. Right enough.
Drummers always survive longest. Are you listening Macca? You're next. Don't buy any LPs.
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:11, archived)

Keith Moon?
All the drummers from Spinal Tap?
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:17, archived)

Keith Moon is dead?!??!??!!

( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:27, archived)

I can't listen to I wanna be sedated now without remembering baldmonkey's Maddie animation

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:08, archived)

YES!

( baldmonkey is yuledmonkey's non-Christmas account, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 21:33, archived)

Blech! I hate her voice.
The music isn't bad, but she is; it's like being at a Goldfrapp concert where Alison has been kidnapped and replaced with someone from the audience.
( custard needs a reset button for his life, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 18:07, archived)

Love honour and obey
is fucking AWFUL
( SickRik i am a whore and my boyfriend's in prison, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:54, archived)

I prefer Marry, Snog, Avoid

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)

hi SickRik
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:57, archived)

Oh man, I just remembered.
It's probably best I nip out for a bit, catch you all later. Thank's for reminding me.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:34, archived)

That's all right dude
Pleased to have been of assistance
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sand_cat_at_bristol_zoo_arp.jpg
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:35, archived)

dawww

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)

I want a fennec

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)

I want this fennec
cute-n-tiny.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/fennec1.jpg
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

wow
it's like a pokemon
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

FENNEC!
I CHOOSE YOU!
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

shineymagic.deviantart.com/art/The-Fennec-is-not-Amused-95783472
( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)

lolol
foxfeather248.deviantart.com/art/Jill0r-Fennec-58858844
( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)

pfft

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)

they are hella expensive
I've looked. Cute little buggers.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Pug_black_600.jpg
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Puglet1.jpg
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:36, archived)

Pugs are shit

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)

AS IF D: If you were an animal, you'd be a turtle frog
frogwatch.museum.wa.gov.au/503.jpg
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)

That just looks like someone aborted mykey's child

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)

sooper-husky.deviantart.com/art/Husky-Puppies-9693-128464456
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)

one of those walked past me today
with a plastic cone round his head. I gave the owner a smile, which she returned, and she had cracking tits, so everyone was happy. The end.
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:39, archived)

when I see that
it makes me realise why so many people think our dog has some husky in him.
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)

I was feeling a bit down, but I just went too....
images.google.co.uk/images?q=husky+puppy&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&client=firefox-a

And now the pain of a life gone wrong doesn't hurt quite as so much.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)

:)

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)

I really want you to get a pug
the image of you walking it around st james park is amusing.
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)

I would put a handle on its back and carry it like a briefcase

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:38, archived)

No no no
You should have it on a lead because then it can drag you around. And you'll have to lean back a little as you walk because it's pulling so much.
You'll look so cool doing that in your tight jeans, cowboy boots and aviator sunglasses.
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

And it's tiny little legs will be moving really fast as it pulls you forward
tying desperately to get to the tree it just saw a squirrel climb
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)

I call my jeans "Change Counters"
Because you can actually see how much money I've got in my pockets.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)

I can also see when you're pleased to see me.

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

Which isn't often

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

That's because I like girls innit

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:52, archived)

jesus wtf is that?

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:37, archived)

it looks like someone got a dog,
cut its head off, took the face off the head, ironed the face, and then put the face back on the neck stump.
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

aawwwww yee :)

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)

it's like a dog, only shitter

( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:40, archived)

"where is my tea? Jenkins! Come quickly!"

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)

*sniffle wibbly wobble*

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)

Yeah well
GIANT HAT
( Imhotep is Invisible - Hurrah, die Butter ist alle!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:41, archived)

haha brilliant.
i like the way those other two guys are wearing really small hats as well.
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)

Friz Joke.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)

i am going to get my hair cut
EDIT: right im off
(rosalicious who wants a christmas card then, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)

It's about time you trimmed your bush
It was seeping out from your trouser legs last time we met.
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:43, archived)

lulz
im only young, i dont have bush
(rosalicious who wants a christmas card then, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)

I think you're about to get a squillion gazes

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

nah :(
ive been banging this drum for months. no fucking bites
(rosalicious who wants a christmas card then, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:47, archived)

I'm sure if we told Irish
he'd be VERY interested.
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:49, archived)

I've ripped out a fist full of chest hair and woven you a merkin
I NEED YOUR ADDRESS. *deep breathing*
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:55, archived)

I should do this too.
I've been trying to let it get longer, but it's a bit of a mess now.
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:44, archived)

six quid
find a local bird
(rosalicious who wants a christmas card then, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:45, archived)

not after the last time I let seagulls do it.

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

ha
my mam lets my old man cut hers :\
(rosalicious who wants a christmas card then, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:46, archived)

Hahaha he's so MANLY
I'm gonna write something on his wall
( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:48, archived)

Speaking of DeviantArt, down there, who wants to play the DeviantArt game?
Take two words, search for them on DeviantArt, and if you don't get furry shit or Sonic the fucking Hedgehog and his shitty fucking friends, you win.
Talk board does not win. Neither does Karl Hysteria.
:(
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:01, archived)

Or Donkey Gums :(
www.deviantart.com/#order=9&q=donkey+gums
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)

LORDY ME!

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:04, archived)

browse.deviantart.com/anthro/?order=9&q=jam%20master
:(
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:07, archived)

It would appear "I" draw like a girl.

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)

No matter what you put into that site, the results will be furry fanfic pictures

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

I used to be terrified of the folk on /board who'd seemingly pack heat for a photo of a rabbit/girl with a big arse.

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)

it reminds them of Cadbury's Caramel.

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)

If you do come to CHBs then I'll tell you about the time I went to a furry party by accident in the middle of Orange County in California.
It was like a nightmare jammy, so many Wolf & Moon T-shirts you would have shit yourself.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)

I'm looking forward to this anecdote!

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

I've got tons.
I met a man that I dubbed 'The Human Pancake' skinny from the side, fat from the front, tons of fat nudity, my mental GF at the time had a mental breakdown and hid behind the sofa, it was well funny. The tattoo'd cat man tried to rape me. I got there in the boot of the car.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)

I remember reading that here
and wondering how you came to find yourself at such an event "by accident".

Edit: I won't ruin your anecdote but I just found the post, sounds terrifying.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)

Staying with old old exGF's friends who were furries. I did not know this. Animal porno stuck up every where in the house
Asked to go to a party. I said sure. got there in the boot of the car.

Was 100miles away from where I was staying, tons of furries, no booze.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

haha
did you get Surprise Yiffed? :P
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)

actually yes, I got my hair scratched by people and a fat girl rubbed up against my leg like a cat and everyone laughed
There was no booze so I threatened some guy to give me all of his weed. The only way I could deal with it was to smoke 6 joints and get inside a cupboard.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:29, archived)

Sir, you live the life us ordinary folk can only dream of

( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)

I'd rather not even have dreams like that,
and I thought my dreams were pretty damn weird already.
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)

You don't dream of catladies rubbing themselves on you?
Weirdo
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)

I have got twat-nav
I always get myself into retarded stuff like this :(
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:32, archived)

still, makes for a good story

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:33, archived)

eeek
:(
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)

So my name brings up the thumblings of a spastic with a 2B pencil.
sounds about right really...
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)

cheese sandwich doesn't win.
but so close...
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)

I'm assuming bizarre manga is also a fail.
probably SFW but a bit odd.
( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)

Just link to the Something Awful thread ennit.

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:05, archived)

I know, I know.

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:07, archived)

Super and Matt wins :)

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:07, archived)

No it doesn't
kintobor.deviantart.com/art/Super-Sonic-nightmares-123928797

spastic.
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

Well it wasn't on the first page

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

You gotta look through all of them.
Press 'anthro' for concentrated furry.
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)

Oh right my mistake.
You can change the rules of the game and win.
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)

You really are grumpy today
Would you like to take a time out on the stairs and eat some fruit pastils?
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)

Pastilles spastic.

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)

Oh fuck, I forgot how to spell every work in the English language
Shit fuck shit fuck shit. What am I going to do?
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:16, archived)

don't let him upset you
it's just the internet
(penelope, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:17, archived)

I wasn't going to go any further tbh

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:18, archived)

Reinstate yourself inside the Matrix.

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

You used to be funny
now I just think you're trolling.
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)

Free your mind dude.

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)

haha

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6279248
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

And I thought this was a safe bet...
www.deviantart.com/#order=9&q=nigger+hating
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:07, archived)

Biro Kettle wins

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)

Except biro is a brand name.
spastic.
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

Actually, I believe Bic is the breand name
and biro is the generic term.
Fuck you, you twat-faced shit-cunt.
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:15, archived)

I think you'll find ballpoint pen is the generic term.

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)

There is no ballpoint pen.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)

lololol

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:25, archived)

Spastic.
"The company's intellectual property department keeps a close eye on the media and will often write to publications who use its trade name without a capital letter or as a generic term for ballpoint pens, in order to preserve its trademark."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%C3%A1szl%C3%B3_B%C3%ADr%C3%B3
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:23, archived)

Why me?
I hate all that furry shit.
( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)

*yiff*

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

Yeah right, emo-furry-cat-ear-hat-boy

( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:10, archived)

I am so not.
:(
( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)

You bought a butt-plug that's also a horses tail
And you parade around your garden, trotting, neighing at the neighbours
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)

IT'S A UNICORN

( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)

Very poor
www.deviantart.com/#catpath=anthro&order=9&q=fat+spastic
(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:09, archived)

Alas, fifth line on the right.
www.deviantart.com/#order=9&q=fat+spastic
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)

What the fuck is wrong with those people?

(bogus official contains acts of violence and sexual references, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:13, archived)

For fuck sake.
www.deviantart.com/#catpath=anthro&order=9&q=twat+faced
( HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:11, archived)

Hayfever shed! I win!
www.deviantart.com/#order=9&q=hayfever+shed
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)

=/
www.deviantart.com/#catpath=anthro&order=9&q=shit+cunt
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:12, archived)

Yegads... you've just reminded me of something

( jim_bob is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:18, archived)

You are allowed to tell us.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)

Preferably in front of a microphone

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)

Don't forget to swear

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:22, archived)

That you're mind-numbingly shit?

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:27, archived)

ha

EDIT: Oi Erasty! have you seen the picture in the calendar?
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:20, archived)

www.deviantart.com/#catpath=anthro&order=9&q=hood+butter
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:21, archived)

What complete shit.

( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

Polish Monster is alright

( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)

and Doner Kebabs
and ROCKET SHAFT
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

and TANK MURDER
actually, I really like this
( Grrrmachine : Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:26, archived)

My gods
you're right
www.deviantart.com/#order=9&q=train+wreck

first go
( VampireMonkeyOnSled sensible shirt, tie, neatly combed hair etc, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:24, archived)

oh deviantart
you are filled with shite
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:28, archived)

what?
www.deviantart.com/#order=9&q=hat+biscuit
( VampireMonkeyOnSled sensible shirt, tie, neatly combed hair etc, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:30, archived)

Gah
Even "imhotep" and "invisible" comes up with a pharoah cuttlefish
( Imhotep is Invisible - Hurrah, die Butter ist alle!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:31, archived)

JMG's on.
Time for everybody to calm down.

How's the internet?
Report in with woe.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:35, archived)

I'm being "stalked" by a 16 year old girl.

( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:36, archived)

Why "Stalked"?
Did she talk to you more than twice on Bebo?
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)

She's trying to add me on FB, somehow got my MSN and phone number, and I'm sure she was behind me when I went to the shop today.
I have no idea who she is.
( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

ahhh that sounds pretty stalkerish to me.

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

I've blocked her on everything now.
She'll find a way through.
( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)

Although secretly you enjoy the attention if you want rid then do what Mongy told me to do.
text her saying "Show me your bumhole". they never message you again after that.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)

I'm so going to do that.

( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)

Stop, does she have an older brother?
If yes, send it to him instead.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

I don't think so.

( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)

vampyrecat somehow added me on msn.
That was all pretty weird since my e-mail isn't in my profile.
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)

That's very creepy.

( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

(14:20) -Tess-: hey
(14:21) Mike: who's this?
(14:21) -Tess-: vampyrecat from b3ta
(14:21) -Tess-: you probably don't know me
(14:22) -Tess-: but I was bored and looking at replies and you said something that got my attention - can't even remember what
(14:22) -Tess-: and I'm on deviant art too
(14:22) -Tess-: and I remember seeing something of yours awhile ago - so I added you
(14:22) -Tess-: my name's tess
(14:22) -Tess-: I hope you don't mind
(14:22) -Tess-:
(14:25) -Tess-: I was just bored and you seemed like an interesting person to talk to.
(14:26) Mike: i wouldn't be so sure about that
(14:26) Mike: it depends if you like talking about binary or not

Deviant art link not in profile either.
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

She wuvs woo :D

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

You're such an interesting person to talk to
BE MY BEST FRIEND MIKE
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)

Does she think your funny?
or a cunt?
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:54, archived)

Fucking hell, ask her for n00d p1x

( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:54, archived)

Oh dear.

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)

lol:
(10:46) -Tess-: so........ what do you want to talk about today?
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

Fuck yeah BINARY
I'm half tempted to stalk you now
( Imhotep is Invisible - Hurrah, die Butter ist alle!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

Ha
unlucky
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

Maybe if you play your cards right, you know, you might, you know, maybe, get a photo of her bumhole.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

None of the cool hip cats have me on MSN anymore.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

MSNing Gonz is now something only for elite power users
Us normos aren't allowed the priviledge
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)

hhmmmmm
she's coming to get yoooooooou!
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

And she sent two bumhole photos
If you put them side by side, it looks like it's winking at you.
( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

pfft!

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

You should be afraid
she says she'll be in the UK in november.
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

My stalker had a corkboard that she'd stuck poloroid pictures of the back of my head to.
He ex-best friend told me.

Properfreaky.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

You do have an exceptionally beautiful "back head" though.

( Jobe http://www.flickr.com/joefreeman, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

It's better than the front I must admitt

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

Maybe she had a Cousin It fetish

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

I do tend to wear my sunglasses back to front...

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

Have you got any bumhole pictures yet?

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

hehe, mongy's advice stopped it dead :D
www.b3ta.com/talk/6248918
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:39, archived)

Is this the same stalker as the corkboard back-head collector?
Or are you gathering a flock of stalkers?
( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)

nah two different ones.
corkbaord was when I was about 19, she was 17. She lived opposite me and used to watch me undress and stuff. I only found out about this about a year into her doing it.

I went up to her and asked her to stop and she screamed in my face and started crying like a child whose dad has just been found hung. Everyone looked at me like I just punched her or something.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)

I bet you used to clean the car in hotpants
YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:57, archived)

Oooh no...I dropped my towel again oh no...

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:08, archived)

you lucky fucker
my mate had a stalker who would leave him things like cheese, milk and bread. I would love a stalker like that! although he did make the mistake of shaggin her...
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)

Is it cooler to leave off the "g" or was that an error?

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

It's only cool if you remember the apostrophe.

( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

i write how i talk :P

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:43, archived)

moronically

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

That's called a 'Milkman'
they come everyday.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)

According to your mum it's twice lol

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:44, archived)

roffles!

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)

The missus won't shut up about the man with nicotine gum on his cock.
I am not this man, btw.
( B.T., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)

Tell her about the woman with a jam doughnut up her fanny
Well, it must have been a jam doughnut because that's what it looked like when it was on your chin...
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:43, archived)

I have no coat and it's pissing down
And I got a repair report saying "I check the pump and now pump is work". 'Work' looks like 'wonk', too.

Blah
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)

no woe
thanks to the internet I've reserved a book in store and figured out the name of two songs I like
( Kristine, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:37, archived)

JMG, I have five jam doughnuts

( Master Of Turnips. soi kitara murheissaan, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:38, archived)

Keep them away from fat people.
Just out of reach. So they cry.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)

have you thought about the online business opportunity you're sitting on here, JMG, with your jam-inclusive username, your unwaveringly negative stance towards the fat, and your fame? I'm seeing a krispy kreme franchise, Jammie Doughnuts, they could be delivered to the desk of any customer and perhaps include a small plastic action figure, or a collect-them-all series of laminated weight-loss tips
( Vladimir, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

Or explosives!

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)

now that's exactly the kind of out-of-the-box thinking on radical weight loss I would expect of you, top work
( Vladimir, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)

TO THE PATENT OFFICES!

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)

I have a stomach ache JMG.
It's not even your fault, it's my own for being female. I'm off work tomorrow (but have to come in for a training course which sucks) but I'm off on Wednesday AND Friday. YES.
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:40, archived)

HAHA!
Women are so terrible!
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:42, archived)

My bicycle broke JMG
Clearly due to my massive weight and not because it was a crappy plastic part not fit for purpose. The shop are fitting an alloy headset though, so the collar won't crack again.
( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

I'm just not really in the mood, JMG.

( Jobe http://www.flickr.com/joefreeman, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

No woes here Jamstar
How's life up in the North? Beaten up any poofs recently?
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)

I believe they are referred to as
'fookin hermersexuals' up there.
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)

It's not been good JMG
I've nearly had to post this a few times.
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:49, archived)

I've just got back in after a fairly long walk.

( Moon Girl Technologies agent of Yahweh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:55, archived)

These kids on CBBC:
"So who do you all support?"
"Portsmouth."
"And why's that? Is it because they're your local team or because they're good?"
"Because they're good."

How're you deluding yourself at the moment?
( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

He also just called Ronaldinho "Rolandino"

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

The stupid child bell-end idiot.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

Who do you support?

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

Liverpool.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

Ahahahahahahaha!
Better luck next year Chicky.
( Spider Riviera Crankenstein: The beast is unleashed!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

It's funny because you got raped by Torres and Gerrard,
suffered a terrible run of form, and then got raped again by Xavi and Iniesta, and then lost your most influential player, and then failed to sign one of the players you pinpointed as a replacement. And your financial situation is, if anything, potentially worse than ours.

/you're-still-better-than-us-but-you-probably-shouldn't-be-so-smug blog
( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

I'd like to take this opportunity to mock anybody who doesn't support Leicester City.

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

That's a lot of people to mock

( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)

That's like a Down's syndrome mocking people for having straight hips

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)

All kudos for a finely ran championship, but until pre-season starts I'm allowed to gloat still.
:-P
( Spider Riviera Crankenstein: The beast is unleashed!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

Fair enough :P
We brought it upon ourselves 16 years ago with our "Come back when you've won 18 of them" banners and such.
( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)

And also by having Graeme Souness as manager.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:21, archived)

And why's that? Is it becuase they're your local team or becuase they're good?

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

They're my dad's team. He supported them because they were his local team.
It certainly wasn't because they were good. (my dad was born in 1942)
( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)

By that logic I'm a glory supporter, given that most of Leicester's success came before I was born.

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

Well, same for me, I suppose.
Though that's a bit different to Leicester.
( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)

I think you should stop fucking watching CBBC

( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

NEVER.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

I will admit to watching The Sarah Jane Adventures

( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

pedo

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)

fart?

( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

whats a pedofart

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

A smelly Gibraltarean?

( Cactus 1 Don't Touch the Bang Bang Fruit, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:32, archived)

nice :D
*is anti-gibbo*
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:34, archived)

Isn't Sarah Jane, like, sixty?

( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

And I thought all the actor/actresses in it were 20-odd?

( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

You really don't put the thought power into your accusations, do you?

( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)

crap
i don't watch cbbc

i assumed you were watching it to get some ideas for your teaching classes.

ah well!

back to the fat jokes :(
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)

this one puts next to no thought into posts
i wouldn't worry about it
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)

always rushing at work, so don't have time to read/check everything :/

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

they should chuck him out and sign dino the dinosaur from the flintstones

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

But then Dino will put him out on the doorstep and then Wilma won't let him in even though he's screaming at the top of his lunges

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

WIIIIILLLMMAAAAAAAA!

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

one day....oooooonnnne day, I will order ribs and it will make my car fall over.

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

to dream... the impossible dream!

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)

That things will be fine lol

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

Why, what's up?

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

he says scone all wrong and doesn't like black pudding

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

He does and everything, Paul.
He must be punished.
( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

This :(

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

I'm now considering changing the locks next time he nips out, and chucking all his stuff out the window.
Nah', i'm only joking, I'ld ebay the fuckers, that should pay for a nice take away and a rental from blockbusters.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

Chinese or KFC?

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

He's a serial abuser of children
and Interpol have stolen his computer to check for pr0n.
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

The sky, lololol.
It's also every other direction, at least for those of you who arn't in space, pendant-fans.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

Shut up.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

i DO like pendants

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:15, archived)

Do you like my wanking monkey?
www.facebook.com/home.php#/photo.php?pid=7575159&id=532685626
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:19, archived)

I've just had a white magnum

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:10, archived)

I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm not gay

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

Are you wearing denim short shorts with the pockets poking out the bottom?

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

racist

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

I have elizabeth hurley's legs

(glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMeel Filters out most swearing from /board/ and /talk/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

Where do you keep them?

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

UFO'S ARE REAL MAAAN
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentich_Disappearance#Transcript_of_the_Valentich-Robey_transmissions
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

That's ace.

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

This is pretty MENTAL too.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%B6bekli_Tepe

And this just makes me sad: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhas_of_Bamyan
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:17, archived)

hehe I like this one
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philadelphia_Experiment
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:22, archived)

and this one
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Glocke
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)

At least they aren't out stabbing people
/mail
( executiverocker is going to post a thread on Reddit, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

Nah, shouldn't the Mail be stating that kids *not* stabbing are a concern
However will they learn self defence?

How will the be protected by the paedos?

ARM ALL KIDS

EDIT: FROM! Protected FROM the paedos.
( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

By convincing myself that England have just made a mistake by not including me in the Ashes squad, and I'll get a phone call before the first test on Wednesday.

( HBLseasonsgreetings! voted 56th in 'FHM's Sexiest Forum Males 2009'., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

Aww give em a break, they're from Portsmouth
they'll all be sucking off sailors for smack by thier late teens anyway
( Colonel Dracula Is not as think as you drunk I am, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

*punches you into the sea*

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

Chicken annoyed by childrens television.
More at eight.
( FoldsFive Gold Rings, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

That would be quite a headline, actually.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:20, archived)

I'm actually not.
I am deluding people at work into thinking that I'm great at my job, smart, fabulous and wonderful. HA HA, JOKES ON THEM.
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:16, archived)

CBBC kids piss me RIGHT off

( Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:18, archived)

Why's that, Spammy?

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

posh unrealistic middle class twats thats why

( Mrs.Sp@m sandwich on christmas day instead of turkey., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:58, archived)

I'm not deluding myself.
_{my cock really is this big}
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:22, archived)

As the font size?

( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:23, archived)

needs two more <sub>s

( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:28, archived)

poor bugger
|-------------2"--------------|
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:25, archived)

Oh fuck off!
It's not THAT big.
( Captn Hood-Butter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)

I was saying poor coz that's way too big
girls scream at my 3cm penis due to they are scared its going to tear them in half. I think.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:29, archived)

you're not supposed to put it in their ears

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

....
NOW they tell me...
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:36, archived)

I´ve installed a little bell in my toilet
now deludings
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:26, archived)

( FoldsFive Gold Rings, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:27, archived)

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:30, archived)

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:31, archived)

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)

So what questions should be asked on the citizen test as a true measure of Britishness?
'Who does Ian Rush say that you won't even be good enough to play for if you don't drink lots of milk?'
'How much is 10 Lambert & Butler?'
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

"How many flumps can you buy with a quid?"

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:28, archived)

3

( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Flump%20Buttocking
( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

Well, if that's what you're in to...
At the next bash I shall bring you a gift bag of Flumps.
( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

haha
specialist interest.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

the rare-viewed and single entry urbandict entries are often the best :D

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:39, archived)

It's often the most fictional entry

( magnum, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

I dread to think what the old get up to with Werther's Originals
( Vladimir, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)

The have a Lemon party-esque contest to see who can stuff the most under their foreskin before it bursts.

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

"Go on Alf, you can do it!"
"Eleven, come on Alf, ELEVEN!"
.....
"...Alf?"
( Vladimir, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:11, archived)

As a result of going too far with the game, Alf might explode like a Werther's pinata and shower everyone with sweets
( Vladimir, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:14, archived)

10

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

CORRECT. Well, last time I checked.

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:39, archived)

they're good sweets to have if you don't have much money

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

How to walk across a pebble beach without looking like a Secret Lemonade Drinker

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

pffft!

( hedonist in excelsis releasing the hounds since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

ACCRINGTON STANLEY?

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

WHO ARE THEY?

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:32, archived)

EXACTLY

( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

"What is the most acceptable condiment to go with chicken and chips"

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

SALT

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

A basket

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

More chips

( Frizzletoe and Wine http://wannafeelold.tumblr.com, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

"Is it Murray's year this year?"

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

What's an acceptable amount of time to bite your tongue and refrain from complaining for?

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

Twenty minutes?

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

How to order a kabab when drunk and stylishly drop it on the floor and shirt before you've eaten it

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

How do you spell Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

i dont know :(

(rosalicious who wants a christmas card then, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Is the correct answer.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

List the full set of ingredients for an English breakfast

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

Minus points for including Black Pudding

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

erm, no
back to forrinland with you.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

Loser.
Fuck off back to the states with your fucking maple syrup
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

You´ve tasted his jizz then?

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

9/10 b3tan women prefer it.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

*eyes up the other nine*

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

So you found it rather disagreeable?

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

Hmmm.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

Oh broady.
Immense sadface, OFFLINE.
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

I´m a little concerned at how I knew his jizz tastes of fucking maple syrup :/

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

haha

( hubare originator of "NEAR THE TOP", Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

TERRIBLE BULLYING

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Maple syrup on bacon and eggs :S

( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

BZZT
INCORRECT
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

You bell end.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

I agree with you on this AND the controversial scone / scone argument

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

*head in hands*

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)

A choice of two questions
Use the space below to sum up the offside rule

Or

Pinpoint on this diagram where the Silly Mid Off stands

That'll sort the wheat from the chaff
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)

Name all of the Spice Girls.
Who is alwayz in are harts?

a) Babby P
b) Jane Goodie
c) Princess Di
d) Micheal Jackson
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

e) All of the above.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

ahaha
SURELY you haven't really seen someone write her name as jane?
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

How many copies are there of the original printing of "Fly fishing" by J.R. Hartley?

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

Ha.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

´Going on holiday anywhere good this year?´

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

Name a good brand of knife.

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)

butter

(glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMeel Filters out most swearing from /board/ and /talk/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

Mack The

( hedonist in excelsis releasing the hounds since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Ye Olde Stabby McStabbys Fleshfuckers

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

Kitchen Devil

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

as them if they like xkcd, if thy say yes then drag them outside and shoot them twice in the back of the head

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:32, archived)

What if they like Abtruse Goose? ;)

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)

straight into the car crusher full of broken glass, feet first

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

Ther should be a Stiff Upper Lip test
and a No Talking to Strangers on the Underground test
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:32, archived)

I fail the second test if I´ve been drinking

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

I once explained to a woman how my hairbrush was better than hers because mine had a rubber handle, thus making it a 'Sports Brush' and I gave her a hair combing race.

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

And an orderly queuing test
In fact there should be 2 of these, one of them will be a trick when they are asked to queue at a bar.
( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

and then the women should use the Low Top manouver to get served first.

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:38, archived)

and the short cute girl wiggling through the crowd manouevre to get to the bar in the first place.
if your eyes look them beseechingly enough in the elbow, they always let you through, FACT.
( sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

Short people are creepy
I think they have some sort of mind control powers, how else would tall people know they are behind them :S
( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

it's true!
us shorties have unexpected bar powers.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

I KNEW IT
You could make your own TV series, like if Heroes collided head-on with Cheers
( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

"Oi no kids in the ba...oh sorry...erm, please, take my place...erm"

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

I love how stupid that is.
Pubs and queues are THE two most British things, but the normal rules of queueing do not apply in pubs.
It must be immensely difficult for foreigners to even get served.
( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

Demonstrate the tut, rolled eyes and folded arms formation to an effective purpose.

( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:32, archived)

Describe how you'd use casual racism in a curry house to make the waiter feel uncomfortable and spit in your bhuna

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

You've also got to talk about the weather for a solid hour to your next door neighbour

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)

But finish your sentence with, 'But can't complain, eh?'

( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

'Cheerio!'

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:38, archived)

Would you describe yourself as slightly arrogant towards people from other countries who do not speak english?
Do you think that lager is an okay drink, but no substitute for proper beer?

Can you engage a stranger with a pleasant conversation about the weather, after your eyes meet due to a shared social situation?
(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)

How do you prounce "No' bein' funny or nuffin'..."

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:34, archived)

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

If you encounter a bear what is the best course of action?
a) make yourself as large as possible
b) hit it with a stick
c) there are no bears here, you must be in another country, why are you even taking this test. Go on, piss off.
(glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMeel Filters out most swearing from /board/ and /talk/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

"Did you spill my pint?"

( FoldsFive Gold Rings, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:35, archived)

What is the correct pronunciation of the word 'scone'?

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

end as in "own"

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

No you fake posh spastic, scone and in gone.
Otherwise the joke is "What's the world's fastest cake? SKOOOWWWN!" makes dick all sense.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)

BUT THE E!!!!

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

It's silent;
like your deaf mum.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:42, archived)

Oh noes!
I agree with SexFace.
It's a sad, sad day for me :(
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

Go to the land of Cream Teas (Cornwall) and ask for a skooowwwwwn and watch them look at you like you just rubbed your dick on their dog

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

They don't talk right dahn there anyways

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

You know that's where I'm from, right?
You know I'm Cornish, right?
And I always call it scone in the 'own' way and I'm always OK.
You FAIL.
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

you must be a mong Cornish, they say it Sgone in the nice non mongy parts ;P
They're originally from Scotland anyway.

Def:[SKOHN, SKON]
This Scottish QUICK BREAD is said to have taken its name from the Stone of Destiny (or Scone).
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

From the Scots sconnis, in fact.
The double n suggests a short vowel sound.
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

I'll let you touch my tits at the bash this time

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

?
Stone = scone.
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:51, archived)

*flith flaff flith*
what's that? the sound of you clutching at straws Clenny? Oh, let me taste your salty tears of wrongness, awww salty but oh so sweet...*laps at your face*

*flexes*
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

Oh noes!
I seem to have just this moment lost my curry recipe :(
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

D:
maybe it is that silly way how you say it now that I tink about it *fluttery eyes* *sends nude pictures*
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

:D
Oh, there it is.
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

*puts bib on and points at mouth*
ung ung ung! mememe!
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

You'll get some curry, Gumsy.
I promise.
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

YAYS :)

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)

COPY PASTA
The pronunciation of the word across the United Kingdom varies. According to one academic study, nearly two thirds of the British population and 99% of the Scottish population pronounce it as /skɒn/, to rhyme with "con" and "John." The rest pronounce it /skəʊn/, to rhyme with "cone" and "Joan." British dictionaries usually show the "con" form as the preferred pronunciation, while recognizing that the "cone" form also exists.[1]
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

haha people are brilliant aren't they.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Scone_(bread)#Pronounciation
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

haha fuck me that's sad.
It's not like it fucking matters, the only reason I say Skon is because I don't want to sound all La-De-Da, that's all.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

I'm posh, me.
You're my bit of rough.
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)

I yam a cock knee I yam

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

Oh that's just boring though :P

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

I like being one of the mongs wot sez it wrong different.
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

Which I think was actually pronounced "Scoon"
*could be wrong, think I saw it on a Billy Connolly World Tour of Scotland episode....
(ricky_darkholer I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 17:42, archived)

You sicken me
apart from your extreme racism. I like that.
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

You like my scones too, bitch.

( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

Depends if you make it sound like a racing car going past...
"SKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN"
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

haha
what's the fastest land mammal? a domestic cat.

Why you ask? MMEEEEEEEEEEEEERRREEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

this is the justification i use too
'the scone joke defense'
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

I'm with SexFace.
Rhymes with cone not gone.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

Rhymes with "gone." Anyone who's done 90 seconds of research on it can tell you that.

( Mally Chickmas, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

What the fuck are you staring at?

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:36, archived)

Bonus points for:
DO YOU FUCKING WANT SOME?
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:39, archived)

How do you break up potential fisticuffs?
A: Please cease with this provocation
B: I understand your point of view & whilst I cannot agree, I do not wish to provoke any antagonism
C: Leave it Darren, e aint fuckin werf it
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

How d'you do?

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:39, archived)

Q. What's yellow and made up of many pages?

( executiverocker is going to post a thread on Reddit, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:40, archived)

Jade Goody's biography
after I've pissed all over it
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

I can't imagine it having many pages.

( executiverocker is going to post a thread on Reddit, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

Can any sentence beginning "I'm not racist but..." be anything other than racist?

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:41, archived)

Yer.
"I'm not racist but can you pass the salt please."
( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

Woah, steady on there, Adolf.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

Isn't it hot? It's too hot isn't it? I do hope it rains soon, do you?

( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:43, archived)

Oh I do hope so too. It so needs it. We need a thunderstorm. Oh look, there it goes now.
Fucking rain.
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:44, archived)

"I suppose that's summer over"

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

if you have fish for dinner do you drink red wine or white?
It was good enough for james bond to try and kill a man because he got it wrong
( VampireMonkeyOnSled sensible shirt, tie, neatly combed hair etc, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:45, archived)

Is it white wine?
Do I get to live?
( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:46, archived)

How do you do the Shake n' Vac dance?

( hedonist in excelsis releasing the hounds since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

Naked

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

I draw a couple of eyes on my stomach and pretend I'm using a Henry
rubbing my bellend all over the carpet making slurping noises until I'm red raw
( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:48, archived)

You saw a different version of the ad to me

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

For mash get, what?
My goodness! My... what?
Washing machines live longer with, what?
You can't get quicker than a, what?
( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:47, archived)

What's the second one?

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:49, archived)

Guinness
OLD SKOOL
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

Guinness

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

Guinness.

( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

Thanks for clarifying that 6 minutes after it had already been clarified, twice.

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)

It's a filthy foreigner!
GET HIM!
( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

My goodness! My crackwhores.

( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

guinness, thicko

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

*DOUBLE head in hands*

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

Jizz
jizz
jizz
jizzer
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

I think the entire test should be
'Draw a line to match the actor/actress to the correct classic British sit-com'
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:52, archived)

are you starting?

( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

are you asking?

( Rudolph The REddache Reindeer Buy My T-Shirts (see profile), Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)

10 Lambert = £2.70 (in my shop they do)
most of my poorer customers choose JPS Blue at £2.12 a pack
( hedonist in excelsis releasing the hounds since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

Fuck me. in my shop it's £3.40 for 10 Marlboro lights

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)

haha, I just took the fucking thing
I got 12/24 :(
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

Do you deserve to be here then, or WHAT?
www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk/

How much do you like ladies' bottoms? Are you a fan of knockers?
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:11, archived)

twitter -> facebook -> b3ta

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Things are taking longer to get here than they used to

( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Shove it up yer hole.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Done.
Now what?
( GoodKingSuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Turn 360 degrees and walk away.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)

Reinstate yourself inside the Matrix.

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)

Why the hell would it matter if you knew about who immigrated here the most in the 80s

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Very few of the questions are that relevant in general life.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)

You need to get your racism-masquerading-as-nationalism in the right order.
Those that have been here the longest get grudgingly let off but secretly despised.
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:14, archived)

I pay some tax and don't break UK laws
Thats enough for me. They can kick me out if they want, but no matter how many times I turn up they keep letting me in.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)

I took the test they give out to people looking to settle here
it's absolute bollocks. I got 11 out of 20, I think. The questions are utterly irrelevant, and have ambiguous answers.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)

actually, going through these questions now...
still the same. What does it matter if you know how many parliamentary constituents there are?
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

9/24 here
I'll move to Canada.
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)

You have failed the practice citizenship test.
Questions answered correctly: 9 out of 24 (38%)

Time taken: 03 minutes 33 seconds
( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

I don't even know where I LIVE!
I think they should just put loads of you in a room with a post office style window at one end. You have to queue properly and tut lots at people who don't queue properly. That's the test.
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

and demonstrate the ability
to use understatement and make a decent cup of tea
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

haha
yeah, a queueing test would be fantastic
( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

wow, I got bored of that really quickly
I like ladies' bottoms quite a fair bit though
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)

Big butts?

(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:14, archived)

He cannot lie.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

I'm a big fan of knockers too

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

I'm glad SOMEONE is answering my questions.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

I failed :(
Time for me to pack my bags, Britain.
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

That's why you've been banished to forrinland.

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

This has been exposed as a lie.

( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)

It's true, the lady Clendrix intercepted my messages that I was sending from Hull
I was using a proxy to make me look Parisian, I'm actually a chip shop owner in Hull.
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

Which proved to be problematic when I arranged to meet him in Paris.
Who cooked the chips?
( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

I got Big Geoff to do the chips
He's a mean man with a chip pan but he's a shit with haddock. And his pies leave MUCH to be desired
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

Hmmm, chips you say?

( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

Chips Doubler
CHIPS
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

It's National Kissing Day today.
I haven't had a single kiss. Rubbish.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

*leaps and smooches*

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

Are two women allowed to kiss?
Oh my!
(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

It's not on this test anywhere! :(

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

YES!

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

*dives into the way... TOO LATE :(*

( sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

there's enough spangolin to go around.

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

is it?
cool. i can feel worse about the fact that i won't get any than usual
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

My fist is so getting a solid tongue workout when I get in tonight.

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

I failed!

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)

I love a nice fanny, the more it looks like a horizontal chimp's mouth sucking some berries the better

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)

I'm also strongly in favour of the well-presented vagina

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

Not too keen on the fannies that look like they are trying to escape their keeper...

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

oh lordy no
or the big vampire bat wing flappy floppy ones
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

I like those muscular, prehensile ones that can strike prey up to three metres away.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

Drizzled in balsamic with a sprig of parsley.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love Eifel 65 - "I'm Blue" for Christmas number 1, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

I Failed
I know a bloke who married a Thai bride, the 1st part of the test is to actually phone up and book it yourself (If you are incomprehensible then need not apply type rule) she failed this twice and now is facing deportation.
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

13 of 24.
Welp, I'd better pack up and go back to Somalia.
( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

very much so
why does it matter what year women were allowed to divorce their husbands?
( Frightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

tits and arses are not relevant to my interests

(rosalicious who wants a christmas card then, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

haha, puff

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

GAY

(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

14/24.
Who wants to go live in Japan?
( Katy Hysteria back from the dead, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

you and smathels
you can take it in turns dressing up as schoolgirls and molesting each other
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

i like knockers more than bottoms
although i am a fan of both

hooray for women's bits!
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

and i failed the citizenship test

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

14/24
That's why I left.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

Although frankly, I'm in favour of any system of citizenship
that is based on trivia.
( Flapjack the halls with boughs of holly Fala-lala-laa Lala La Laa, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

Visa or No Visa?

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

Who Wants To Be A Citizenaire?

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

Blankety Blank Expense Claims

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

Who's Lineage Is It Anyway?

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

But surely it should be based on true measures of Britishness
Like 'Who won Big Brother 4?' or 'Who does Ian Rush say that you won't even be good enough to play for if you don't drink lots of milk?'
( Red Red Rocket goes bob bob bobbing along wants to know your gamertag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

I'm An Immigrant, Get Me In To There!

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

snap.
that's why I'm going to dynamite the border but obviously stay on the English side
( the mighty badger like a diabetic dog in a bath full of sugar, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

56%. Failed.

( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

I failed.
I quite like my bottom and knockers. Will this answer do?
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

Why not your fanny? Does it look like a dog sneezing into the wind?

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

I like my fanny, yes.
But that wasn't what was asked. My fanny is a smashing orangey bit indeed.
( Blue Star of Wonder Blue Star of Night, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

I got 9 right.
Is this a reason to celebrate?
(BombayMick was a cheeky tinker on, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

Celebrate the fact your getting deported?
*pops champagne*
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

58% :(

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

I think I'm a bum man myself. A nice bum can do a lot for a girl

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

lol

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

sigh
man
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

Haha
You have failed the practice citizenship test.

Questions answered correctly: 11 out of 24 (46%)

I prefer knockers to bottoms.
( ding dong merrily on broadsword in heaven the pills are minging, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

I think they've mixed in some driving theory questions for a laugh

(glued HOLY SHIT, IT'S CHRISTMeel Filters out most swearing from /board/ and /talk/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

Gilgamesh has seven entries on the Popular page.
There's a distinct possibility...
( lion-cake in the jungle, the mighty jungle, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:00, archived)

you forgot the rest of your post

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:01, archived)

It's my sausage like fingers.
udsgfhvaudfveufhv
( lion-cake in the jungle, the mighty jungle, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

fingers Head Dobber
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:04, archived)

...that you're a cunty.

( mike woz ere puts the 'sexy' in 'dyslexia', Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

It's a 1-click popular page at the moment
Anyone can get on it and apparently someone likes him
( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

I just clicked this, I don't know what I was thinking :(

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

i feel dirty

( Three Kings From The Easty The Notorious B.I.Ginge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/90nz0.jpg
( cr3stmas is highly scalable, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:05, archived)

Chump manbear's offspring?

( St.Minimus man and machine power extreme, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)

werg!

( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:07, archived)

www.cr3static.com/data/gif/gonzo.gif
( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)

This makes me want to sin.

( clendrix Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)

That's a lot like how I imagine god ought to look if he existed.

( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:11, archived)

He lives in the Vattykan

( Donkey Gums Is engaged now to someone he's never met, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:11, archived)

*splorf*
ahahaha
( snowpaul fight - DUCK! *splat*, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:14, archived)

gah!

( spangle bells www.dinohoodie.com NOW LIVE!, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)

I like this!

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

same here
you ruined my test
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)

I clicked this.
For continuity.
(