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has it broken?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
My shoulder aches.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:20, archived)
kick its fucking cunt off

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:21, archived)
I don't really have an aching shoulder.
I fooled you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You tit.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
oh, right.
:(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:25, archived)
he's a card, that Gvpyczjppcl

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:39, archived)
Yeah, you were just hoping that Mumpsy would kiss it better for you.
And frankly, who can blame you The LOVELY Woodsie?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
I am the kiss it better jesus.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:55, archived)
Damn right you are The Messianical Emm Emm Pee Ess.
:D
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
I thought we were having an hour's silence

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:20, archived)
WOAH! Is it NEW ICON TIME then The LOVELY Emm Enn Ess?
Who died? Was it baldmonkey?
Man I bet it was baldmonkey.
POOR BALDMONKEY ALWAYS IN R WASHING MACHINES.
:,(
Still, NEW ICONS!
:D
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
yes

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:21, archived)
Thai pun only evening
Post Thai puns or post nothing
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:21, archived)
Nho Fukng Wai

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
I had a slight accident on holiday in Thailand last year.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
Bangkok?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
No, Twisted ankle.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
is (cra)vat our only option?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
I met a Thai girl once, she didn't like shaving her body hair and left me for Tom Cruise.
ah well, hair thaiday gone tomorrow.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
fuck me, that's weak :'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
I am not sure how it relates to top gun, but don't get stressed, glued eel has set the bar cruelly high here, unless you know something about thailand

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:33, archived)
I might kill myself now vlad :'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:35, archived)
it's an option

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:41, archived)
oh man, double :'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
I don't play by YOUR rules Eelso.
You should know that by now.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:24, archived)
no it's just really sore

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
oh now vlad is back, worried myself sick i have

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:41, archived)
alright mc

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
the last alright thread went right off the rails vlad, i dunno if i'm over that yet

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
you were gonig to kill me, and I'm not sure how to take that
as a sycophant
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:07, archived)
i blame gigglywiggly, he has a dark edge that he rubs off on us all

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:15, archived)
Nah mongy, it ain't gilgy that's the problem.
It's his imaginary parrot. Whispering in his ear when he's asleep.
Made up parrots are EVIL.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
he's mint, doing good deeds on /bored today, makes me chuckle does young giggly, internet forum aint it

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:41, archived)
SPING!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:42, archived)
SPANG

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
Shhh Vlady, we're all watching Spinal Tap.
:D
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
Nothing a hug wouldn't fix.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
it has, yes. like the first morning, in fact.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:51, archived)
i just watched an elephant give birth.
Top that.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
I dunno, cream and a cherry?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:58, archived)

TRIFLE?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
YES!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
The ston'enge scene's just been on The AWESOME Win Pug.
:D
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:21, archived)
I caught it,
great film stuj, great film
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:31, archived)
\o/
:D
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:34, archived)
i dont get it, it's no boys in blue

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
I brought a Thai bird back to my place last night but it ended in erection problems...She had one!
Anyway, evenin' all. Are you having something nice for dinner?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:27, archived)
no, thanks for making me feel like shit planearm :'(
why are you always so fucking mean?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
Yep

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
just pretend I started a thread above this saying how I'm bored of this now and asking a stupid question then saying pricks

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:29, archived)
Haha, I liked it when you said pricks

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:35, archived)
i like all cabbages threads, they make me :)

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:40, archived)
He was better when he was Yeah Right Bollocks
I miss Yeah Right Bollocks :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:41, archived)
was he yeah right bollocks? i know he's got a parrot called bollocks parrot but i didn't know he was yeah right bollocks

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:42, archived)
I don't understand why anyone in the world would care what I'm eating for dinner
I mean, I don't care what I'm eating for dinner. It could be broken fucking glass and it'd be more fun than this lamentably shitty fucking thread.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:42, archived)
I don't like it any more than you do
But this is the way of it these days. It's food threads or pun threads. There's no happy medium.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
see, that's why I'm here
I make everything better
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:45, archived)
I beg to differ
a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/43/0a013b2588b837e77cce473565fc6160/l.jpg
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:53, archived)
Of course she's happy
She lies for money. How can that not be hilarious?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:58, archived)
This is the truth

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:59, archived)
I don't really understand how someone can not gather the concept of casual conversation on a message board with no particular subject.
Or even worst, appear to be angered by it.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:02, archived)
... and then to constantly come back time and time again, seemingly expecting a different result.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:03, archived)
it does get dull tho gonz, 4 people asking what people are eating all the time, i'm glad that stopped and those people fucked off

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:50, archived)
I ain't disagreeing with you, but Gilga up there seems to be against pretty much any conversation at all.
I donno what people should talk about, I reckon whatever they want. Some people'll diss, some people'll join in, some people'll fuck off. I'm pretty much happy talking about most things. Even talkin' 'bout what to talk about is alright. I donno whats so hard about it.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:13, archived)
I just try to make the internet fun for everyone, I don't know why it causes so much buttfrustration

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:43, archived)
Autistics also have trouble interpreting people's attitude and feelings.
/ac
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:46, archived)
I like how you sat there for half an hour waiting for me to reply

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:49, archived)
Wasn't doing anything else in that time, I missed the mark by 3 minutes because I got excited.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:54, archived)
There was a really hot Thai girl sat opposite me on the train yesterday
She was wearing a sexy short skirt and low cut top and as I was staring at her I kept saying to myself "don't get an erection! don't get an erection!"
but she did.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:31, archived)
Quick Psychophobia, give me three words for "shit" that are not "shit".

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:32, archived)
Poo
Crap
Turd
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
Sterling work as ever, Danny Chompion of the World.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:35, archived)
ploppies
bumjobs
a planearm thread
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
"ploppies" is as bad as "anyhoo"
it's like that awful 80s BBC humour that makes people think Blackadder is funny.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:12, archived)
ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies ploppies

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:52, archived)
bald
mon
key
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:36, archived)
The old one's are the best ;)

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:34, archived)

the best depressing
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
the old one's what?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:13, archived)
Best & Son, est. 1984.
The young guy's James Best, the old one's Arthur Best
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:26, archived)
dunno.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:35, archived)
no. I am going out later though.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:36, archived)
Where are you going?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:41, archived)
what are you, a policeman?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:43, archived)
Yes

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
PROVE IT

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:47, archived)
*provides proof*

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:47, archived)
oh I see, you're a CUNTstable
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now nick me for section 5
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:50, archived)
Kinky!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:50, archived)
have a drink for me!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:42, archived)
I really do have horrible indigestion
Someone send help, please
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:42, archived)
haha, you're so shit you can't even digest food properly you fucking cripple
I bet your stomach needs a fucking wheelchair you're so shit at digesting food
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
I know right!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
What did you expect?
You dressed up as a woman, put some makeup on and chatted yourself up against the mirror in the bathroom.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
i brought back an indonesian girl in a star wars costume the other week but she beat me up
she was a thai fighter!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:09, archived)
I brought one back that had a really stong grip and petted dogs a bit too roughly
she got a bit upset and violent so had to be Thai downs
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:17, archived)
then there was this other one who was always draped around my neck and other people used to pull her legs really hard and you couldn't undo the knot so you had to cut it off with scissors
she was a thai
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:19, archived)
i think mine was better

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:22, archived)
HOW ABOUT WE CALL IT A THAI?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:28, archived)
hahaha, ok you win

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:31, archived)
i knew an indonesian girl who covered herself in adhesive and ran around the office saying she was a pineapple
she was a wacky, tack-y thai
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:20, archived)
I love a good sweaty pair of legs around my face.
They call me the Thai thigh'ter. Or something like that. Can we work in thigh into this thai thing?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:38, archived)
Lols
KFC, wasn't as good as I remembered it
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:36, archived)
alright planearm, anything etc etc

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:42, archived)
Spag bol
*noms*
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:00, archived)
ha'ay

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:07, archived)
Wow
This place is drier than a nun's chuff.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:47, archived)
youe name is rude!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
nicely rude
old school boy and toy stylee :D
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
YOU FUCKING WHAT MUSH?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
Pardon?
You'll have to speak up a bit.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:49, archived)
i was just merely asking what you were on about.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
I thought I'd tippytoe over from the other place

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
Eton?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
Used to live there....

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
when are you going to stop being a dull cunt?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:01, archived)
oh man, this isn't going well :'(
I hope it doesn't kill itself.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
HAH! Coming from you?!
This is the meaning of dull right here on talk.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
Gotta go now.
I can't be scared off. It's fun talking crap to everyone. I'm only copying what you already do to each other.

I'll be back probably when you're all in bed, then I can chat to myself, can't wait.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:07, archived)
hahahahahahaha yeah

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:09, archived)
Shit.
We scared it off.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:09, archived)
I like you

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:09, archived)
this is a top opening play

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:09, archived)
nice taking to you, new person, do come again.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
see ya Poopants,
nice chatting to you.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:12, archived)
alright Wombat.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:08, archived)
I've had your mum somewhere very uncomfortable

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
beanbag chair?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
renault clio?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
rock pool?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
skegness?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
with no water

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
You've had my mum
with a cacti up your bum?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
yes... I've had your mum
she was shit
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:53, archived)
Yeah she would be
As shes dead.
Probably a bit cold and lumpy.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
oh shit... I just thought she was lazy
that'll explain it... that and why I was sticking my cock in a pile of dust
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
It's okay
She didn't feel a thing.

-Wouldn't have done if she was alive either.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
where abouts on the spectrum do you live?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
In between radio and visible

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:03, archived)
ZZZZZZING!
Watch this one!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
*rings bell*
we got a live one!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:01, archived)
"a cacti"?
Fuck off you brainfail.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
More then one naturally
You fuck off!

Pleasantries accepted.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
we've got bigger problems to deal with right now
the forward matrix just blew its RAM and we're all out of macrofilters
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
oh for goodness sake, when we were in Tesco didn't I say to you 'look, macrofilters are on BOGOF, shall we get some, they're bound to come in handy at some point?'
and you insisted we didn't need any, 'we've got plenty of macrofilters' you said. and now look what's happened.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:16, archived)
we can argue about whose to blame later, right now there isn't time
we're gonna need a miracle to get those PCI slots back online before the software self-awares its BIOS
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:19, archived)
well I'll pop back to Tesco then, I think I saw some miracles next to the loo roll. or was it by the eggs? I'm sure I'll find some, or if not, that nice lady on customer services will be able to help

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:20, archived)
its ok i got bored of the pseudo-sci fi nonsense i was spouting
all systems nominal
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:21, archived)
do you have a Clubcard?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:32, archived)
no, i'm not poor

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:38, archived)
how many nuns vaginas have you felt?
I don't think they dry up because they have taken vows of chastity.
no, this doesn't seem right at all.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
not at all, we're all alcoholics

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:51, archived)
Fuck me. 92000.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
the ROM drive's kaput, we need to redirect power from engineering to the lower stasis field or we're all fucked

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
that's alright, just push the redirect power from engineering to the lower stasis field button

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
its not that simple, Eel
we have to send new fusionchips down the nanocore, and there isn't TIME FOR THAT
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:04, archived)
I've got fucking heartburn now
What do you intend to do about it?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
I'm going to punch you in the throat

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
i'll try my best to reset the UI interface, but i'm not making any promises

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
AT LAST

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
*makes the 'good quinten' sign*

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:03, archived)

bigassmessage.com/34390
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:05, archived)
I love Quinten
bigassmessage.com/0b1db
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
oh fuck, the transformer on the powergrid just blew, we're gonna need more juice on the PCB, stat

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:06, archived)
SOMEBODY GET THOSE POWERTUBES BACK ONLINE

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
have a refreshing glass of lye

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:04, archived)
Hey, that worked!
Thanks Glued!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:05, archived)
make you drink petrol

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:07, archived)
bored of that now
what's the biggest thing you've ever set fire to? bonus points if it was alive. or an ethnic minority.

alt: what's the sexiest amphibian?

penises
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:17, archived)
a car
Skink
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:18, archived)
that's not an amphibian you fucking cunt

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:20, archived)
da fuq you know about skinks, eh, jog on

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:21, archived)
a house.
frog in a bra.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:20, archived)
cor!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:20, archived)

             __  __
(o )( o)
/ '' \
'.__--__.' ----- I like peephole!!
.-./ \.-.
| |( )| |
,__\ \\ // /__,
) _. / \/ \ ._ (
\_.'^^^^^^'._/

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:22, archived)
Quick,
I reckon you should do a vaguely Japanese-y looking cartoon drawing of that and post it on /board, they love that kind of thing.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:21, archived)
Be sure to make the tits MASSIVE
but make the eyes even massiver, so as to make it really young-looking.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:23, archived)
wearing a fur coat, with massive tits!!
FP in no times.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:23, archived)
DONE!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:27, archived)
LOL!!!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:29, archived)

www.kineticnorth.com/userfiles/Gilgamesh/baldmonkeyselfshot.jpg
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
not particularly safe for work btw

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
Bully.
I'd report you to manolith if he wasn't so shit.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:40, archived)
i think its quite flattering
you look well sexy
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
I just noticed the eyes follow you round the room

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
he's lost a bit of weight recently then, well done balders

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:40, archived)
how did he get in to the bathroom in the first place?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
it was built around him

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:47, archived)
i know being fat has got to be pretty shit,
but why would you make it worse for him by building a bathroom around him?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:47, archived)
Nice.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:41, archived)
A covered seat not unlike a bus stop but not a bus stop.
Or a classroom at school.

That woman in Species.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:21, archived)
i've never set anything on fire - cars are harder than you'd imagine.
axolotl.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:21, archived)
Axolotls are basically lizards that remain in the immature stage their whole lives,
you amphi-nonce.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:22, archived)
sali*manders*

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:27, archived)
what about the buccal pumping then, eh?
EH?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:28, archived)
You're just making it worse for yourself.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:45, archived)
A Citroen AX, after the roof was cut off
it was my carbeque
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:22, archived)
A listed tudor house
It was mostly burnt anyway and the fire brigade arrived fairly quickly
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:29, archived)
YAY!
I might see if I can burn down Cosham.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:31, archived)
please do. I went there once, horrible place.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:34, archived)
i set fire to a bee, i was about 5
the horny lizard
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:35, archived)
why the fuck would you set fire to a bee?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
i think my brother found this dying bee on the drive
and he was trying to torture it and poured a little bit of bike oil on it and set fire to it

so it wasn't really me, i lied
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:47, archived)
YOU MONSTER

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:49, archived)
A large wheelie bin,
Trouser Snake
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:45, archived)
This is one of the most satisfying things I have seen today.
How do you get satisfaction?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:31, archived)
poor Herbie
EDIT: NEAR THE TOP!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:32, archived)

er u
i ar
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:33, archived)
:(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
Glosest To The Tip I CAn GOT.
Did Baldmonkey turn up? I think I gave him some bad adice by telling him to post at the top, I should have told him to post NEAR the top or as close as he could get.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:03, archived)
Did you seen it anyway?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:04, archived)
Looks like it's been deleted by an overzellus mod. Or an extremely fabulous one. I'm not sure, depends on their gentials...
... I'd imagine monolith's genitals look like a charactor cartoon of Gonzo-the-muppet with Thor's hair.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:28, archived)

p
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:55, archived)
ha!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
Soz, misunderstood.
I like breaking things.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
i rub my genitals on old volkswagens

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
By living well

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
CONGRATULATIONS RICKY!
It's about time someone stuck it to those evil mentally handicapped people.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
Nah, it's not offensive
Nothing he says or does is offensive. He's Ricky Gervais. Everything he does is BRILLIANTLY FUNNY. If you find it offensive, it's because you're not smart enough to 'get it'.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
he does a funny face

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
Oh my God, he does!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
That's what I'm saying.
I might write him in blood and let him know.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
Is it just me, or is this argument bullshit:
"Derek is a fictional character and is defined by his creator, me. If I say I don't mean him to be disabled then that's it. A fictional doctor can't come along and prove me wrong."

I mean, if he appeared on screen all boot polished up and started saying "Oh I love me de fried chicken and stealing cars and rapin' de white wimmin." I don't think any amount of denying it was a black man would stop it being racist.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
Haha
He should try that, he really should. He would get a golden opportunity to prove us all wrong.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:03, archived)
He is a hero for having the courage to stand up in the face of so-called political-correctness and point out how laughable disability is.
We shouldn't be caring for these people. We shouldn't be trying to let them live the best life they can free of derision. We should be persecuting them on national television. We should be rounding them up to display in freak shows. We should be gobbing on the backs of their heads whenever they walk by.
Thank god for Ricky Gervais, pioneering the way against loony lefty liberals and the so called "disadvantaged".
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
Dear Ricky,
You inspired me to spit in the face of a Downs today. God bless you.
Yours,
Paul Kojak.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
Hubare convinced me to twitter this at him.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:55, archived)
Truly?
I can't check Twitter from this machine.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:13, archived)
The other thing that he does that I really like
Is getting people that used to be successful and parade them around on TV for his own amusement. That was we can all enjoy a good laugh at the expense of someone that used to be well known, and isn't anymore.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:00, archived)
I like when he bullies karl pilkington and giggles like a mong

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
Yeah
It's well funny to exploit your friends and go out of your way to make them look foolish.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:02, archived)
i saw him defending himself on tv the other day and he said that if he wanted he would bully anyone who asks
because the people he bullies get their own tv show and MILLIONS of euros
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
Ha, brilliant
I used to really like him. Now I realise he's just a prick. And a bully to boot.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:08, archived)
to be clear; I liked The Office, I liked Extras and if Karl Pilkington had a problem with the mocking he gets, he could stop hanging around with him and getting paid handsomely for it.
But this belmer thing seems so uncharacteristically over the line I'm really disappointed by him.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:09, archived)
I think he's been successful because he always surrounds himself with funny people
Office, Extras...all full of really funny people.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:14, archived)
Nah. I think he's good at what he does.
Which is why I'll be going to the "special" school tomorrow to shit on the kids' work.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:16, archived)
I'm lost here, what has ricky done wrong today?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:17, archived)
Been a massive unfunny wanker
and frankly outstayed his welcome in British comedy.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:21, archived)
I haven't seen it, but I'm starting to go off him, just for the constant cretin-baiting on twitter
it's obvious that retweeting some god-botherer telling him he's hell-bound is going to result in an army of mouth-breathing fans mobbing the poor deluded fool.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:18, archived)
some, let's be honest, fat bird said something.... he retweeted
and she literally got about a hundred mentions calling her a fat loser...
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:19, archived)
and I'll tell you this...
I'm dead funny and he doesn't retweet me :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:19, archived)
When Piers Morgan retweeted me wishing his plane would crash
the personality horse site got LOADS of hits.
It's well worth baiting celebrities.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
haha!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:26, archived)
You terrible man :'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
excreta too watery 2/10 would not click again
/ac
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
We've moved on from electricity.
You can drop the fucking stupid analogies now.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:54, archived)
Prick.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
lol

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
i was just on hold to a woman and the music was awful
it was like that old blippy sort of music you'd get on a digital game in the 80s
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
Soz.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:54, archived)
blippybloopbloopblipbllipblipblipblooooooooooooooooo

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:59, archived)
i like to sit back,
put my feet up, and masturbate till it hurts.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:58, archived)
Until having your feet up hurts?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
have you ever masturbated with your feet up?
its murder on the hamstrings
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
I fucking bet it is

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
its not my fault, i'm tall and the couch is short

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
Always with the excuses

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:15, archived)
Actually,
a few of those look to be pretty fatal. Sicko.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:59, archived)
Oh, I'm going to the Marshall 50th Anniversary concert
Anyone interested? No? Fine.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
see this, this is everyone you'll meet there
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGy0pPllHVQ
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:03, archived)
I don't mind really
He plays guitar, I play guitar. Why shouldn't we get along?
Although, I'm not a fan of Marshall. I just want to see some of the acts going.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
because you're a shit guitarist

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
Yes, that must be it
Or it could be that Marshall just don't make very good amps.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:12, archived)
that'll be why no one buys them then!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:15, archived)
Ok, I should clarify
I prefer most amplifiers to Marshall. Market saturation doesn't equal excellent quality.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:18, archived)
S'alright Two Hats, this prick doesn't even know the difference between the current of a pipe and the voltage of water.
I think it might be time he went back to the funny farm, like.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:29, archived)
I just feel embarrassed that I expressed an opinion
This really isn't the place
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:30, archived)
marshall is also the worst character in how i met your mum
or the sex rape one
or the needy marry me one
or teh hilariously canadian one
or the one with the blackboard-nails voice
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
and marshall from meeting your mum has done some really bad films

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
and marshall mathers did some bad songs recently
and looks really withdrawn
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:08, archived)
but marshall law was good

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:09, archived)
marshall law the tv show, not marshall law from tekken

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:09, archived)
altho marshall law from tekken was pretty good too

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:10, archived)
and federal marshalls and marshall sheriffs cos they got guns

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:11, archived)
I've not seen that show
However I'm not certain that this characters past indiscretions are in any way related to the sonic characteristics of Marshall amplifiers.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:10, archived)
Oh, he was in the Muppets
I think he wrote it too. I've not seen him in anything else. Soz.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:11, archived)
i've seen his penis
twice
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:12, archived)
Holy shit!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:12, archived)
at the start of the film he did with mila kunis he keeps getting it out
i don't know why
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:13, archived)
Once as you went down on him.
And once as he pulled out and jizzed on your face.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:15, archived)
The horror!
I bet you shed a tear as you looked at this, you closet beetle maniac.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:16, archived)
So, why aren't YOU at the zoo today?
I forgot, what with all the job stuff and home upheaval.

alt: I don't really understand voltage, current and power. Can anyone explain the difference between them in terms a retard could follow?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:32, archived)
I'm going tomorrow
*sings*
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:33, archived)
it's because that's where you live...
lol
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:20, archived)
Did you know Fred Dinenage opened the VD clinic in St Mary's Hospital.
There's a plaque on the wall and everything. Apparently.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:34, archived)
Go on.
Get a dose, and go and prove me wrong.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:34, archived)
Yeah.
It's funny because he is known to be a bit of a Casanova.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:35, archived)
I heard that when he was presenting World Of Sport, back in the day
[post redacted for legal reasons]
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:36, archived)
Terror redactle.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:37, archived)
Tyranocensor rex.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:38, archived)
Stega-nographically-concealed-message-asaurus.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:39, archived)
VelociraptoDON'T FUCKING SAY THAT

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
Duck-billed platypuSAYTHATAGAIN AND I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING FACE IN

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
Silver Back GorillFOR FUCK'S SAKE I WARNED YOU YOU'RE MAKING ME DO THIS I'M NOT ENJOYING IT OH MY GOD DON'T STOP BREATHING

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:43, archived)
And on that note, I'm off to bed.
'night up there.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:44, archived)
Don't wake up.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
I forgot too :(
A reminder message would have been useful...
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:38, archived)
yeah me too
getting a text yesterday was a bit short notice :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:40, archived)
Aw man. Did we ALL fuck it up?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
tbh 24hrs isn't really much notice...

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:42, archived)
I dunno. We had months really.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:44, archived)
WHen you fail to plan, you may as well plan to fail.
And other such shit platitudes that pass as content on the kind of courses I get sent on nowadays.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:45, archived)
LOL
LEARNING WITH EXTINCTION
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:47, archived)
When you ASSUME you make a DONKEY with US.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
Let's send it up the FLAG POLE and see who BLUE SKYS IT

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
I booked the day off and wrote it on my work calendar and everything.
But then I got made redundant and forgot all about it.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
troo.
I feel bad, I would have liked to go.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:54, archived)
Innit.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
I got one.
Last night.
:(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:40, archived)
Reminding you of the ASBO in force
banning you from the monkey enclosures.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
*drones* #saturday at monkey world... wishing i had never been born...#

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:42, archived)
Wait, what are you talking about?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
secret zoo clique meeting

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:43, archived)
FUQUE

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
Not aloud in the zoo.
also, is there some sort of zoo bash?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:46, archived)
Yeah. Secret one.
Don't tell anyone.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:47, archived)
i invite you to my house, to my dads house, to my pub,
and you won't even let me come to the zoo with you? what sort of forum pal are you eh? I'll tell you what, a SHIT ONE! I HATE YOU, YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
i'M GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS AND CUT MYSELF.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=luM6oeCM7Yw&feature=related
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
don't blame me
blame the cunt who organised it
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
some sort of ex b3tan super clique zoo trip?
and when i super, i mean super-sized. because of lot of people online are fat.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
Yeah.
That's why I snubbed it. I said "Have you asked WP?" and they were like "Who?" and I said "Well fuck you all. That's an outrage. I'll not go." and they were all "PLEASE bm, it won't be any good without YOU" and i was all "too late mofos. no windy pig, no bm."
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:09, archived)
considering further up the board you admitted to have plain forgotten,
i find it hard to believe that both that statement and this could be true. you're lying to someone BM, and my suspicion is that it is me.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
I promise I would never lie to you, piglet.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
come to my house then you prick.
i might even persuade ladypig to bake you a cake to put in your fat fucking face.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:16, archived)
Cool. I'll gaz you some fucking dates tonight if I remember. YOu can fucking pick one

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
watt? lol, im well funny

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:50, archived)
I'm ampressed

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
Sorry. Couldn't resist
ance
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
Ohm my God

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:56, archived)
I'm always shocked by this place's capacity for shit puns

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:03, archived)
arc at her

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:08, archived)
I feel I'm being l.e.d. into a pun trap

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:11, archived)
And I thought this thread had so much potential!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
your optimism is completely groundless

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:32, archived)
(printed circuit) board of that now.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
ZOMG LECTRISITY LOLZ

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
I could, but you'd only forget.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
This is all your volt.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:57, archived)
You've got no excuse,
you live in Ampshire don't you?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:59, archived)
think of it like water
then voltage = the amount of pressure the water's under

and current = how much water is flowing through the pipes

and power = how much water flows in a given time

disclaimer: don't plug water into the mains you fucking bellend
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:09, archived)
and hey, resistance is how thin the pipes are
this is a pretty good analogy, imma copyright this or sutin
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:10, archived)
what is brown water?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:12, archived)
lovely delicious electric gravy

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
Nah.
Dunt make sense.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:12, archived)
FUCK YOU
REALLY FUCKING SICK OF YOUR BULLSHIT NOW

FUCK YOU

SERIOUSLY

CUNT

FUCK OFF

FUCKING BALDMONKEY CUNT
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
You make no fucking sense and then blame me.
Shove a lightbulb up your arse and piss out something moderately more illuminating than your bullshit elexplanation
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:20, archived)
That's right; I said "elexplanation".
And I'm not even ashamed.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:26, archived)
Except 'current' and 'power' are defined as basically the same thing in your analogy.
Well done.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
well no, current is the instantaneous OH FUCK YOU TOO

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
Knock knock
Who is there?
Not gilgamesh. His comprehension of doors led to him standing in the middle of the road clanging a long stick against a nearby lamp post.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:23, archived)
I did a spreadsheet and it says I'm about 400 times better than you

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:27, archived)
Yeah.
At incomprehensibly shit water-electricity analogies.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
lightguy is better than you.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
I'm totally at the zoo today,
you're missing out on the giraffe culling
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:10, archived)
understanding electricity is easier if you think about it in the same way as water
current is the flow of electrons within the wire, and can be thought of in much the same way as the flow of water.
voltage is the electrical potential difference between two points. think of it like the difference in water pressure between two points, the water will flow from high pressure to low pressure. volatage works in a similar way, the higher the voltage the higher the current.
power is a broad term and means the rate at which energy is transferred. the watt is measured in how many joules of energy you use per second

this has been lightguy, your guide to world of facts
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:11, archived)
excellent description
cheers
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
FUCK YOU I SAID THAT FUCKING EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME AND HE COPIED ME OH GOD I HATE YOPU

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
Yopu; Destroyer Of Meals.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:21, archived)
LOL! HE CANT EVIN TYP

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
I'm glad none of you lot were my lecturers at college, I'd still be in year one

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:25, archived)
So... what is the difference between a year, a week and a meter.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:27, archived)
what is resistance?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
something the borg find futile

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
Hot French birds in "'Allo 'Allo"

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:21, archived)
ah, NO actually because right, the electrons flow in the opposite direction to the conventional flow of current so fuck you big style you copying turdfaced copycat cunt bastard fuck

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
i know but i left that out in order not to confuse baldmonkey. note i never specify in which way the electrons flow. check and mate, i am the puppet master, etc.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:19, archived)
YEAH RIGHT, FUNNY HOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING RIGHT AFTER I TELL YOU
YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF REPREHENSIBLE CUNTOID
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
Oh shit.
I understood it just now, but then gilgamesh came along and confused me again.
WHY CAN'T HE KEEP HIS AWFUL MUDDLED THOUGHTS TO HIMSELF? :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:25, archived)
Yeah but no but yeah but that's pretty irrelevant tot the question.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
so ... when you flush your toilet you don't care which way the current of water flows?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:31, archived)
Which part of the electricity is the flush then?
You have totally fucking ruined this for me.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:33, archived)
right, this should clarify everything
voltage is like when you're halfway to the vinegars but you remember that time you walked in on your granny in the bathroom

current is when you repress the thought of her distended pudendum, grit your teeth and keep wanking like a brain-damaged tramp

and power is when you ejaculate a few drops of watery spaff and weep into a Kleenex because your life is empty and all your friends secretly hate you
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:39, archived)
i dunno what a zoo is but its raining so fuck taht

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
you should change your name to "AWESOME Quinten"

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:29, archived)
You should change your name...
oh, I just can't be bothered. If anyone fancies finishing this sentence for me, be my guest.
So are we going to Oxford or summink?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:30, archived)
FUCKING HELL
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18005328

What is going on?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:32, archived)
We should start a campaign.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
I just can't stand it anymore Balders
People need to stop encouraging this cretin.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:40, archived)
i didn't even change it to this, modolith hacked my account and raped me of all dignity

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
Shittest. Mod. Ever.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
4srs

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:39, archived)
Chicks with dicks

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
Sluts with nuts

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
Venuses with penises

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
Strumpets with trumpets

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
Bachelors with spatulas

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
Orcs with norks

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
Faggots with maggots

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:24, archived)
:( terrible bullying of anglers, mods

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:28, archived)
Anglers with danglers?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:30, archived)
cocks with socks

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
Nice one.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:30, archived)
Slags with 'bags

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:33, archived)
If you could spend less time doing something to make more time for something else, what would you speed up?
You can't say work, you jobless povvos.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:04, archived)
sex, it takes fucking ages and is so frequent.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:05, archived)
get a new boyfriend then
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
Hitler

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:05, archived)
Sleep.
But, you know, still feel well rested. I hate that I spend so much of my life unconscious.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
dunno,
I don't do a whole lot really, although i would like more time to make music, but i can't think of anything i'd want to do less of.Basically, what I'm saying is i feel that i manage my free time satisfactorily, and have nothing to add to your thread, so i'm gonna go have a shower.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:10, archived)
PHWOAR

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:12, archived)
having a poo

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:10, archived)
i might start timing myself and try to beat my personal best
it could get messy and uncomfortable, but if it means i get another 2 minutes watching foxes live! then thats fine by me
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:12, archived)
nothing, i like it just as it is

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:11, archived)
if I didn't sleep I could do more of the interesting things
but I really like bed.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:13, archived)
I'm already doing it.
Middle 1/3 of any DVD played at 1.5 speed. Get. To. The. Fucking. Gunfight.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:17, archived)
Waiting about in motherfucking airports.
The actual flying isn't so bad, even with Ryanair, because until someone invents cheap supersonic flight it can't really be any quicker than it is.

But all the buggering about you have to do before you get on the plane and after you land, ugh...
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:22, archived)
Oh thank god for that.
How are we all today? Is it as bad as everyone says? I'm doing OK, so ner.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:40, archived)
Yeah, pretty good.
I'd like to go up Fort Nelson and get some photos of the jackdaws, but I don't seem to have the time.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:41, archived)
Fort Nelson's brilliant
and FREE!! FREE I TELL YA!!!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:41, archived)
Shall we go together?
We could hold hands and impress each other with our command of various UK regional accents.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:42, archived)
I can do a pretty good scotch and a not bad welsh/pakistani

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
Scotch eggs are from London.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
Lovely
I like a good scotch egg. A GOOD one, mind.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
I've never had a bad one.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
I have
And let me tell you...it wasn't good. It was bad.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
I want a scotch egg now

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
Got the Day off Tea,
i thought i'd be super hungover, but i'm feeling good, might go for a walk or something, who knows.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:41, archived)
Nice one.
There's a peculiar satisfaction to be had from knowing you should be feeling like something a dog threw up, but somehow aren't.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
yeah,
although, the temptation is to go to the pub for lunch and see if i can manage it for tomorrow
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
oh man :'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:42, archived)
Shove a trifle up your cockend and shit out a trifle.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
if only!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
and I have tried

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
Better than usual
I've avoided any work for over two hours now.
And I'm going to a meeting in 15 minutes that has extra buns and no thought involved.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
I need to arrange an accountant
and do my tax for last year. This is a daunting task.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
I can help.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
I can help

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
The tax cunts here want to know about what I earned over a year ago in another country.
Fucksake. I doubt I even still have the payslips. I'm not a payslip-keeping sort of person.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
don't you have a p60 or whatever it is
shows you all your earnings for the tax year?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
Pfff, yeah, prolly. Somewhere.
Thing is, my old job ended in March last year, which was still in the 2010/11 tax year. I didn't earn a penny in the UK in the 2011/12 tax year but the tax office here in Holland still wants to know what I earned in the UK in the tax year before last. Hence frustration.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
bleurgh, what a pain.
make something up?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
I reckon someone hre could knock up a pretty good fake british payslip for him.
come on you lot, pull together, help mr tea defraud the government,
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
I'll write my own pay slips
by hand, using coloured crayons. :D
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
ah you must be able to call HMRC and ask for another copy, surely?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:16, archived)
True, though it'll probably take aaages and maybe cost money.
I'll have a look tonight, they might well be lying around somewhere.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:39, archived)
I can yelp

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
I han celp.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
no it's not
you hand over all your bits of paper and receipts to your accountant and he tells you how much tax you have to pay

it's really as simple as that

it's only a shitter when you have to start stashing shitloads of money and waiting to be told how much of it isn't yours, that's a right pain in the gonads
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:38, archived)
I've sent them a message to get it all started
I am waiting to do the latter though. And looking at my bank account and thinking "hrmmm I don't know if that's enough" erk. But it's my own fault for going to bloody Texas.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:40, archived)
the taxman's fairly understanding, you don't absolutely have to pay the whole wodge of tax in one lump
but yeah, don't get too far behind because he can fine you 60 a day if you piss him off
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:42, archived)
I've got until October to submit it
so it should be ok.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:44, archived)
taxes just do my swede in
my accountant used to explain it all to me and my eyes would glaze over, I ended up just asking him how much I owed then dropped a cheque on his desk and fucked off

he was an odd bloke, little thick glasses, long hair but totally bald on top, I don't think I ever had a masturbatory fantasy about him

stop me if I reach the too much information point won't you
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
eurgh, the "long hair except bald in the middle" thing is really gross
I want to know roughly how much I should be saving for tax, that's all. Hopefully they'll get back to me and it'll all be sorted and simple and then I can stop worrying about it and just keep putting my expenses in the software like a good little spangolin.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:53, archived)
there's the other business model where you spend all your tax money then declare bankruptcy
that's worth considering too

my parrot's eating melon, how awesome is that?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:01, archived)
hah, that might panic the customers a bit
melon eh? Sounds messy.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:14, archived)
this is why i bank offshore and pay next to fuck all, shhh tho

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:45, archived)
oh mongy
you and your offshore accounts. Mind you I'd like a holiday to Barbados to withdraw a tenner.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:47, archived)
thing is, that's illegal
other thing is, there's no way they can ever find out about it

so yeah, that
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
what the tax man thinks i live on i dunno

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
I've had a decent sleep for a change but now my necks all stiff.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:45, archived)
The soles of my shoes have both cracked, Maffers. What's that all about?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:49, archived)

they're trying to match your sanity

lol
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
The cunts around me are talking about hideous shit they've bought at craft fairs.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:54, archived)
Oh lord
I have some very flakey people close to me that buy all that shit. Make it poorly on your dining room table, call it 'handmade' then whack another tenner on it.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
a white bit of wood with home sweet home written on it
"it's sort of antiquey"
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
Haha
Man, I'm in the wrong trade
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
I hate being lumped in with those cunts
and that fat lass Kirsty on the telly. Oooh look at this twee gingham tree decoration I made oooh a Christmas wreath made of my arse hair ooooh
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
who on earth lumps you in with these cunts?
i'd never lump you in with other cunts.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
tends to all get termed as "crafts"

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
Murder is the only answer.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:11, archived)
to so many problems

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:16, archived)
Mainly the problem of 'not being in jail for a long time'

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
that all depends if you get caught

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
Well that's true

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
Big heart mirrors.
Made of twigs.
ffs
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
I've seen a 'Good Luck Bag' that contained
A Stone (somehow lucky)
A twig (again...wha?)
A plastic jewel (for healing or something)
And a few other bits of pocket tat, and it was about six quid!!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
Christ.
I say fair play to anyone who can flog shit like that. It's the cunts that buy it that deserve scorn.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
I know
I really should try to make something like that. As my honourable colleague Mr.Pig says below, some people will buy any old shit if you tell them it's magical in some way.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
That's Rear Admiral Pig to you sonny.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
The correct answer to any offer of 'lucky heather'
is "Will it make me as lucky as you?"
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
Quite

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
Nah.
I saw someone tell one of those old hags to fuck off with her fucking lucky heather once.
Some big bloke appeared from no where and assaulted him.
Like I say, someone should round up the gypsies and kill them.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
Some woman offered me heather once, I politely declined
and she told me to fuck off!! I was incredulous Baldmonkey. INCREDULOUS!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:15, archived)
I was in Credulous once.
I bought a pen and a second hand map of eastern europe.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
fuckig hippies will buy any old shit,
if you tell them it's lucky or blessed or from a mystical spot. They are fucking idiots.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
just like homeopathy

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
i know wicca is possibly lurking,
and i don't know if she is genuinely a wiccan, but in the spirit of being nice, no offence wicca, but I think modern paganism is the hugest pile of wank i've ever had the misfortune to encounter.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
If I remember correctly, she isn't a wiccan. She just liked the name.
She is, as she delights in sharing, a pantheist. though.
And people say I'm an attention seeking prick.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:10, archived)
having been on the same forum as her for however many years
i didn't know she was a pantheist

i definitely would have noticed because it hilariously says 'pant heist'
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
Well, with observational skills like that, I can see why you are such a brilliant mod

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
My mistake.
It's the being a pagan she likes to gloat about: www.b3ta.com/search/posts/29966?q=pagan
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:40, archived)
you attention seeking prick

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
Yes.
But everyone here is.
That's why she pretends to believe in a waki religion.
That's why gonzo pretends to have stories about the world outside his flat.
That's why adam pretends to be a stupid prick.
That's why you pretend you are trying to be a good mod while HELLARIUSLIE acting like a really really shit mod
That's why Two Hats has a bum chin
That's why supermatt fucks little boys
That's why spangolin is a girl
That's why SSG withers
That's why gilgamesh continues to have a mental breakdown online
That's why quinten shares his awesomeness.

Everyone here is seeking attention.
Why do I get singled out for it?
Not that I mind; I like the attention.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:55, archived)
My glorious chin is there because I like the attention?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:04, archived)
See?
You're banging on about it AGAIN.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:07, archived)
I'M A MONSTER

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:07, archived)
you've got it down to a fine art
isn't two hats' chin hidden behind a 'beard'?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:17, archived)
In spite of that, my chin still projects beauty

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:22, archived)
You're a frying pantheist
Because you like fried food. Because you're a fat ballbag.
God, that was exhausting.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:23, archived)
have a little lie down

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
It definitely wasn't a sex dream
You do believe me, right?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:54, archived)
...yep

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:17, archived)
Phew
Well I'm glad we put that to bed. Oh gosh, I mean...oh no :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
That's because you are.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
Good point.
Well made.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
Oh yeah, it's all completely made up.
Well, all religion is made up of course, but I mean made up recently.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
this
the "worshipping the crown prince of zarlo, lizard king and all who sail in him" religions are just as stupid as the "we've been around for thousands of years" ones. Just because it's an older imaginary friend doesn't make it a more credible one.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:21, archived)
oh crikey yes,
it's all hocum and bullshit. but the pagans do love to bang on about how they are an ancient and mystical people.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
mind you I think people can believe any amount of bullshit as long as they don't try to make me believe in it too
whatever gets you through rough times.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:50, archived)
I believe you want to nosh me off.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:01, archived)
I agree,
i just wish they wouldn't speak to me
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:01, archived)
I don't agree.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:04, archived)
I just ask that if they want to live in their whimsical fantasy land,
they do it without insisting on "reading my aura" or "hearing from my spirit"
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:22, archived)
haha
I bet my spirit sounds like swears
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:25, archived)
How would you respond if the person saying these things was doing it out of kindness?
What I mean is, when my Dad died one of my friends said something about him looking down on me and all that stuff. Naturally I wanted to say 'that brings me no comfort because he's NOT looking down on me. He's dead and that's it"
But I was worried this would upset this person who, after all, was just trying to make me feel better.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
tl;dr

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
Fortunately people don't speak to me.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:30, archived)
That's true

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
I would ask them to respect the fact that neither me, nor my father,
had any belief in their bullshit, and i was frankly upset at them for being so presumptuous as to think that forcing their belief system on to me, at a time when i am clearly fragile is anything other than very selfish.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
KICK THEIR CUNT RIGHT OFF
TELL THEM TO STICK YOUR DAD UP THEIR COCK END AND SHIT OUT SOME SPIRITUAL BULLSIT.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
These are some interesting viewpoints Windy, thank you

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:40, archived)
You should have said "Well that's nothing new, he looked down on me when he was alive"
and then you could have both had a bittersweet chuckle.

Sorry
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:38, archived)
This would have been perfect
WHERE WERE YOU THREE YEARS AGO??
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:41, archived)
prison

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:50, archived)
woah
awkward
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
There's probably a good answer to this.
But I'm buggered if I know what it is.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
If I'm honest, the answer is probably "I bought them cheap on ebay".

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
Someone criticised me the other day
for paying 27 for a pair of Nike trainers. Apparently I shouldn't be able to afford such 'luxuries' while supporting a family. I LOL'd.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
I was running a tab in the pub last night,
instead of having to fuck about with money everytime i went to the bar, and one of the guys i was with told me that i shouldn't be able to afford to run a tab on my wages.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:03, archived)
How delightfully patronising

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
yeah,
although he is one of those people who always seems to have an unneccesarily large amount of cash in his wallet, and makes sure you notice. Dickhead basically.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:10, archived)
Cool.
Point him out to me when I come up.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
are you actually coming up,
or is this one of those times i shower and shave for no reason?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:38, archived)
I really would like to.
You get red kites round your way, don't you?
I just can't imagine when I will have the time at the mo' though.
And I can't imagine I'd genuinely be wanted. No one likes me anymore.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:46, archived)
I fucking loathe you
but I'll come with you if you want company.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:47, archived)
we have red kites fucking everywhere,
if you want, we can go to my dads house and feed the fuckers (we're not supposed to feed them, but it's pretty cool)
Bring the little fat bald one and the giant one with you.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:03, archived)
I'm not letting modolith in my car.
He'd mod-edit my dashboard or some shit.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:05, archived)
I'm not getting in BM's car
He might make me piss on an orchestra or something
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
if you're feeding red kites can I come along too
I don't take up much room
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:19, archived)
GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:32, archived)
magnificent

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
I've got the Jubillee week off
Anyone else off that week? Got any plans?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:54, archived)
i go back to work that week :(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
Hey, it's you!
How are you dear?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
Arbitrary holiday ahoy!
No I don't.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
It's a good one
because I can have the whole week off and only take 3 days out of my allowance. FANX QUEEN!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
bored man

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
Are you












bored .... stiff!








*snickle*
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
I'm listening to this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5K0aPGw9Rk&feature=fvst

it's making me do a sad. can I have a huggles plz?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:50, archived)
What is it?
*hugglesses*
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:00, archived)
it be beck doing everybody's gotta learn sometime.
*swuggles*
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:03, archived)
I'd like to hear that.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:09, archived)
I have a crippling personal space issue, I'm sorry Mumplestiltskin
How about a firm handshake?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:03, archived)
and a weak harf-hearted smile?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:04, archived)
Haha
Yeah, if you like.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:05, archived)
sold!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
thread deletion is well LOL!!!
what do you think is LOL?
share a lol story.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:39, archived)
Can we all just create a new thread and delete it??
Please?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:42, archived)
oh man :'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:42, archived)
oh baby

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
It does make the board all lovely and clean.
And, you know, if we ALL do it, it wouldn't be a crime
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
Excellent advice as always Balders

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
Why bother
It looks like this
www.b3tards.com/u/0fcb2734f07769c5925f/talk_is_broken.jpg
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
Yeah.
It looks LOVELY.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:44, archived)
YOU HAVE FRIENDS?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
I know
INCREDIBLE isn't it
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:49, archived)
They just want you for your money

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
Well I AM fabulously wealthy

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
Oh I do like you!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
Hey mumpsy,
you've got a nice thread here, but when it's not top of the page, it can't be top in my heart.

soz.

x
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
:'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
bored of that now
has anyone seen baldmonkey? I remembered what I was going to tell him. He's a prick.

pricks
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:47, archived)
O< ---- QOL!!!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:49, archived)
Alright Yeah Right Bollocks

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:52, archived)
yeah
What
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:55, archived)
you seen that the beasties have been slapped with a lawsuit?
nasty timing :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
really?
what for?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:58, archived)
it sounds like a load of bollocks
they're being sued for using samples of other tracks on paul's boutique and one of their other albums

however, the law that prohibits this wasn't passed until after the albums were released *belms*

/edit: www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/beastie-boys-lawsuit-pauls-boutique_n_1500901.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:00, archived)
looks like bollocks to me too,
i can't imagine it'll do any real damage to them.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:07, archived)
the riaa ruined sampling when they stopped allowing college samples

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:12, archived)
oh, good show

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
This thread seems to be going well.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:33, archived)
Ever get that feeling today is going to be utterly, utterly shit?
Well, I've got that feeling right now.
How do you feel your day is going to be?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:08, archived)
oh great, it's adam.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:09, archived)
well it seems a lot worse now
LOL
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:10, archived)
oh great, it's adam.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:10, archived)
Terrible
Hey Adam
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
*Rubbish day-fives*

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:13, archived)
*half heartedly gets you on the flip-side*

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
i gotta feelin
that tonights gonna be a good night, that tonights gonna be a good good night
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:15, archived)
Alright Adam

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:16, archived)
Alright Adam
prick
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:21, archived)
I liked you when you were Quentin, Adam.
Why can't you be more like Quentin? :(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:22, archived)
cos when i was logging in i kept spelling my name wrong
so i changed it to how my brain was spellling it

IS THAT OK WITH YOU
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:24, archived)
you don't need to explain yourself to this prick Q

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:25, archived)
i feel like i've been under attack from the moment i got here

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:27, archived)
Stop whining then and spread the love, douchenozzle

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
shut up fuckdisc flinging cuntmonkey

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:31, archived)
Can't even get that right, can you?
YOU ARE A RUBBISH ADAM I HATE YOU
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:33, archived)
oh man Q, he's trying to make you look like a prick.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:34, archived)
Alright I suppose, but then I don't break down into tears and cry over everything being utterly utterly shit if I can't find my stapler

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:16, archived)
You leave my fucking stationery out of this, you heartless bastard.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:18, archived)
Since when did anyone need a stapler to make tea?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:26, archived)
he heard it was a staple of the british diet

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:27, archived)
*makes 'quentin is good' sign*

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
Morning
I had a good think about my life yesterday.
you?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 7:54, archived)
I try not to otherwise I'd throw myself under a bus

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:08, archived)
n n n n n n n n n nn n nn nn n n n nnn n n n n n n n nn n nn n n n n nn nn n
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:10, archived)
don't leave us hanging bro, what was the outcome?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:10, archived)
mono<bus

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
poor bus :'(

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
Dunno.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:19, archived)
wow! deep man.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:19, archived)
I try not to

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:39, archived)
Probably best.
Though you're self employed you must be happy.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
that's a bit of an assumption.
she might hate dinosaurs and hooded jumpers.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:46, archived)
What kind of useless flange decides to start a business doing something they hate?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:47, archived)
spangolin?

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:50, archived)
I heard she has a chin fetish.
And before she started dating Cr3 she rebuffed Robin "Robin "Newington" Johnson" Johnson.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:54, archived)
Hahahahahha hahahahahha
Yeah that's what I thought too.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:55, archived)
The grass is always greener, so says my dealer.
OH MAN, I just made that up, someone who smokes draw should use that.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 8:57, archived)
What is wrong with the word cannabis?
Cannabis. See. It's fine. Why all this business with marijuana? No one can spell marijuana. And all these silly names like skunk, J, shit, draw, snooking, blow, fintum, Mary Jane, taramasalata, frigate, Miss Scarlet, tourniquet, simper, tefal.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:01, archived)
Generally the different names are for different things.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
WHAT?
Oh fucking hell.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
Marijuana should be spelt marawahnana or something like that.
I think they all mean different veriaties or something, I donno, I don't feel the need to self medicate (when my doctors do it so well for me).
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:28, archived)
skunk is stronger than cannabis (I dunno if that's spelt right)
draw is the same as cannabis, the herbal variety.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:39, archived)
blog it

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:02, archived)
Too true

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:07, archived)
i was bigging up your hoodies to a colleague yesterday
i think i've convinced her to get one instead of getting some onesie she was going to get
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:01, archived)
manolith: dog wreatling dino hoodie sales executive!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:04, archived)
Oh yeah, I was telling a friend about them
She seemed to want to buy one.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:04, archived)
Figured your were massively busy anyway though spangles

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
The wait time is about 8 weeks
But she's more than welcome to order
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
Aw thanks!
Although if she likes onesies I'm doing a sale on those next week, bit of inside info for you there
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
i'll let her know :)
hooray, more work for you!
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:09, archived)

h b d b
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:22, archived)
!

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:11, archived)
Hay dude, how's it going?
I'm doing pretty good, iPhone should arrive today, can't wait.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
Hey, gonzo, I was going to say something to you but I can't remember what it was now.
I remember thinking yesterday "I must tell gonzo about this" but I can't remember what "this" is.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
That's alright, if I'm not about when you think of it, post it in a new thread and someone will pass the message on, hopefully.

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
i'm gonna have a yorkie bar before bed what about you

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:28, archived)
I had a cup of tea and a bowl of cereal

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:31, archived)
i'm ok for eating foood, i had some, probably sip some water before prayers

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:37, archived)
hey that's cool i was reading the book of wisdom the other day,
there's some serious shit in that
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:54, archived)

Couple of beers for me... Hello!
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:38, archived)
JMG is BEHIND SSG in the forthcoming elections.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:38, archived)
lolbumsex

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:48, archived)
erections eh

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:52, archived)
i got the number of a bird the other day, she won in the council elections the other day

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:52, archived)
Oh Gobbo, that one from out of Goldie Lookin Chain's no bird.
:(
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 0:35, archived)
I've got some wasabi-flavoured chocolate
I'm wondering whether it's a delicious treat or a cruel joke. I might try it, but I'm scared of being massively disappointed.
What do you reckon, SSG?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:55, archived)
sounds delish

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 0:18, archived)
I'll try it and report back.
edit: Can't bring myself to do it tonight. I'll let you know in due course.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 0:32, archived)
i'm going out to fight draculas

(, Wed 9 May 2012, 0:50, archived)
alright dukes

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:41, archived)
grand me old mucker
'ows yer sen?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
alright duchess

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
'Ning the LOVELY DEADLY jenpots.
*Panders*
:D
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
Hello stuj
Life being good to you?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:01, archived)
Grand ta hun.
You?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
Aye.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:06, archived)
HURRAH!
:D
*Extra panderings*
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:19, archived)
:oD

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:20, archived)
hello pots

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:51, archived)
Hello sweetpea
*mwah*
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:01, archived)
Hello lovely lady!

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
Hello gorgeous!

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:01, archived)
Ow's things?

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:15, archived)
ah grand
yer sen?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:17, archived)
Good thanks!
Had me dear old mum to stay over the weekend, back to work tomorrow. Booooo.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:43, archived)
grand cheers, you alright mongy?

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
yeah man

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
how much did you win from that punt on charlton?
if you're worried the fuzz might be watching, gaz me.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
a nice lump, it'll come in handy, if i can find the fcking ticket, had 33-1

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:59, archived)
oh shit :'(
that's harsh
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
it'll turn up, somewhere safe aint it

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:12, archived)
alright citizen

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
i think and hope i'm still a subject, but ok

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
You've never been one.
Subjects became citizens in 1948, under the British Nationality Act. You lot born since are British Citizens.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
well that seems unfair, i don't want to be labled

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
Yet another victim of British Imperialism.
*sadface*
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:07, archived)
i'd rather the queen tell me what to do rather than these shit cunts, she's alright the queen

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:11, archived)
Each to their own.
We have a lovable little tiny man as head of state. Makes great speeches. Also writes, well, poems;
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/oct/28/michael-d-higgins-poem
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:15, archived)
poems eh, that reminds me of vlad, he was a bit fruity, i miss him, gone too soon :(

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:26, archived)
Yeah
But i've got to go to Essex tomorrow
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
there be dragons :(

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
Don't get your head kicked in.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:38, archived)
yo

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
sup spesh

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
alright mongy
you alright
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
lovely stuj, you?

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
Lovely ta.
:D
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:53, archived)
Fine and dandy thanks mongy!

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
dudette

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
dude

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:17, archived)
Well, hello The LOVELIEST HATD!
*Panders*
:D
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:53, archived)
*jumps*
Oh that tickled!!!
HELLO STOODGE!
What's goin' on?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
RAINOGEDDON'S just started* here.
*at 20:36GMT.
and Sodom'n'gommorah's just started on beeb4.
*Quick panderings*
'Later!
:D
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:02, archived)
Byee!!

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:17, archived)
'sup

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
chillin

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
Chilaxing

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:09, archived)
Im too drunk for a school night.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
meh, it is only 10, unless you have to fly a 747 in an hour yo'll be fine

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:07, archived)
Then either throw a tactical sickie for the morning now, or flash your knickers at teacher when you get in late tomorrow Chompy.
That'll work, no doubt.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:08, archived)
Flying.
I'm going to be an uncle again. It's a good day.

You?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:20, archived)
great times indeed unkie neps

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
alright

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 22:49, archived)
nice

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:00, archived)
alright dave, how are the hats?

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:10, archived)
blimey :(

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:18, archived)
I've crossed some kind of banterline

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:21, archived)
it's cool with me, but dont unleash this on others

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 23:28, archived)
fuck me
9 years today. Seems like a lifetime.

Edit: You bunch of cunts.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 19:01, archived)
Who the fuck are you
and why won't you just die already
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 19:04, archived)
bollocks
You cunt faced cock smelling hare.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 19:52, archived)
yeah yeah, piss off back to your arsewarren you cockrabbit

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:37, archived)
I remember him Grrry.
He used to be LOVELY.
Oh wait, no. That was Doc Preference.
Carry on.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:53, archived)
This doesn't seem right.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:11, archived)
Well now that you mention it...

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:21, archived)
Well yeah, because you're STILL LOVELY Doc Pee.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
Much better.
Carry on.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
He is busy on the BBC4
doing hos intellectual thing
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:28, archived)
Grrrmachine seems to have succesfully summarised my feelings on this matter.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 19:08, archived)
'Ning the AWESOME Win Pug.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:50, archived)
alright poppers

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 19:22, archived)
Looks like he ain't replying any more mongy.
What a shitcunt.
you alright
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:49, archived)
It's LONGER THAN MADDIE HAD YOU INSENSETIVE BASTARD!
ALWAYS IN R HARTS!
:(

HAPPY CANDLEDAY THE LOVELY DOC POP!
*Cakerapes*
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 19:26, archived)
WIF DA ANGLES NOW

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 19:28, archived)
He might be by now.
OMG WHAT HAS GRRRY DONE THIS TIME?
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:48, archived)
Wikipedia says that you joined just after GW Bush did his mission accomplished stunt
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:00, archived)
Wait, we've never seen the two of them in the same room at the same time......

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:46, archived)
And on this very day 9 years ago microsoft admitted a serious flaw in their hotmail account security
This can only mean he was the secret power behind the whitehouse, by subtly altering their internal email communications for his own dark ends.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:57, archived)
It's a good job that Grrry is using his blood to lubricate his monster truck then.
And his bones as a rollcage.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:04, archived)
Your mum is ALL of are cunt's

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:48, archived)
Well said The LOVELY Mooey.

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 20:50, archived)
I'd love to care, I really would, I just don't. soz :'(
perhaps if you were less beakering that might help.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:06, archived)
'Ning The AWESOME Emm Emm Pee Ess.
I'm going to watch BBC4 for a bit now, because i'm interlexual and that innit.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:08, archived)
Whats on the BBC4 atm?

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
Unnatural History Of The Amazon.
It's got boobs in.
I like boobs.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
unnatural boobs? ( . Y : )

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
Nah.
INDIAN boobs.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:25, archived)
COR!

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:26, archived)
I LUVESES ITV4 CAUSE I'M DEAD WELL SMARTZ ME!!!!

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
HURRAH!
*Smarts fivesies*
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
*misses*
*giggles*
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:25, archived)
After reading the above/below comments (I can't remember where it posts it)
I'm staying out of talk O.o
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:25, archived)
thanks for letting us know.
REPOST DIZ ON FAZESBOOK IF U LIEK!
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:27, archived)
Just thought I'd say :)

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:28, archived)
you're a LIAR
you said you were'nt going to post here.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:30, archived)
fuck off then you shitcunt

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
How do you feel about OT?

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
Waaaaaaaah! /talk are MEAN!
Fuck off back to QOTW then you flailing spastic shicunt mong autism crybaby.
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:44, archived)
WANK

(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:40, archived)
I already AM balders
INDIAN BOOBS ON BBC4!
(, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:46, archived)

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