Dear manolith, can you please fix it for me that MONO! has a Christmas icon all year round whether he likes it or not?
Thanks,
Mr. Tea.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:47, archived)
Thanks,
Mr. Tea.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:47, archived)
we've got rather sidetracked from the topic of the thread I started, I should probably start another one, clear the air a bit
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 16:05, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 16:05, archived)
I can't remember what it was about, I'll have to think of something new now
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 16:15, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 16:15, archived)
can I please have a "christmas is a pile of wank and I just want my old icon/no icon" option please
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:40, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:40, archived)
unfortunately that cretinous wanker manolith has no interest in keeping the majority of /talk users happy
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:43, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:43, archived)
so rather than keep this site alive you just want us all to leave?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:47, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:47, archived)
I bet you and mr horrible are glad I'm here to have original ideas for you both
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:41, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:41, archived)
woah, that's not what I do, that's not me at all, who told you that, someone has been telling the most dreadful lies about me
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:46, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:46, archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:47, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:47, archived)
I thought I'd pop back and see if manolith has given me my old account back yet
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:31, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:31, archived)
I'll go and muck out Momo's cage instead, at least he never lets me down
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:36, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:36, archived)
posting here does rather feel like trying to breathe life into a corpse
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:43, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:43, archived)
got to wait for baselworld 2016 for new releases, now that is exciting
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:57, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:57, archived)
you lot might as well kill yourselves right now
at least by the end of the week
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:16, archived)
at least by the end of the week
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:16, archived)
I wish for death every day
but I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:18, archived)
but I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:18, archived)
I'm not really looking forward to my own death.
Retirement, and the kids leaving home will be a brief pleasure, before I realise that I'll need to pay their university fees, and I resign myself to a life of poverty. Then I'll look forward to my own death.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:19, archived)
Retirement, and the kids leaving home will be a brief pleasure, before I realise that I'll need to pay their university fees, and I resign myself to a life of poverty. Then I'll look forward to my own death.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:19, archived)
yeah but that was too accurate, it lacks the careless creative flair of not a fuck lily
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:12, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:12, archived)
Yes, that was rather the point.
I believe it's known as a "call back".
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:18, archived)
I believe it's known as a "call back".
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:18, archived)
it does seem that "savage" is Two Hats' key word
so he probably does harbour a deep inner lust for trannies.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:29, archived)
so he probably does harbour a deep inner lust for trannies.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:29, archived)
My secret shames!
I was having such fun pretending to be a sexless, middle-aged, paper-pushing parent. Now I'll having to slack off and play CoD, instead. Woe is me!
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:22, archived)
I was having such fun pretending to be a sexless, middle-aged, paper-pushing parent. Now I'll having to slack off and play CoD, instead. Woe is me!
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:22, archived)
I don't think you need to be a music snob to have disdain for Blink 182
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:25, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 15:25, archived)
I make this joke every time we cook anything at home with shallots in it.
Gets funnier every time, I can assure you.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:53, archived)
Gets funnier every time, I can assure you.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:53, archived)
Could you take a look at my computer? It says "Hello" when I start it up.
I'm not sure if it's because of Windows or because it's a Dell
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:55, archived)
I'm not sure if it's because of Windows or because it's a Dell
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:55, archived)
A couple are getting all dolled up for a night out at a posh restaurant and then the theatre.
The man looks at his wife and says "You know darling, I'd really love to fuck you in those high heels. It's just such a shame they murder my feet."
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 13:56, archived)
The man looks at his wife and says "You know darling, I'd really love to fuck you in those high heels. It's just such a shame they murder my feet."
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 13:56, archived)
I'm going to steal this, tell it to my kids,
then realise that they only know Beethoven as that massive dog.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:14, archived)
then realise that they only know Beethoven as that massive dog.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:14, archived)
Oh, right.
Cheers, Grrry. Not really up on modern music - still haven't figured out what dubstep is.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:15, archived)
Cheers, Grrry. Not really up on modern music - still haven't figured out what dubstep is.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 14:15, archived)
You only buy spring onions so you can hold them in your hand and pretend to be a giant welshman
admit it
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:33, archived)
admit it
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:33, archived)
y
if all the lesbians in the world had a big fight to the death, who do you reckon would be the last lesbian alive?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:30, archived)
if all the lesbians in the world had a big fight to the death, who do you reckon would be the last lesbian alive?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:30, archived)
but she's a horrible lesbian, choose one of the nice lesbians instead
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:32, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:32, archived)
That one off that film who gets one girl's arm up her miffty and another up her pooper.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:33, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:33, archived)
she's just a girl who likes football, ok?
doesn't mean she's a gay
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 13:11, archived)
doesn't mean she's a gay
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 13:11, archived)
the ovum of one creature wrapped in the stomach of another
sounds DELISH
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:35, archived)
sounds DELISH
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:35, archived)
he was originally called Moses when he arrived
but that was too fucking religious for me, Momo was the best parroty alternative
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:54, archived)
but that was too fucking religious for me, Momo was the best parroty alternative
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:54, archived)
I just assume his original owner must have been some kind of crazy christian
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:57, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:57, archived)
Burglar
A burglar got into a house one holiday night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables.
He heard again, "Jesus is watching you." This time he shined his light all over, and it rested on a parrot.
He asked, "Did you say that?"
The parrot admitted that he had. "I'm just trying to warn you, is all."
The burglar sad, "Warn me, huh? A parrot? Who are you? What's your name?"
"Moses."
"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"
The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler "Jesus'"........
source: www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/parrotjokes.html
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:08, archived)
A burglar got into a house one holiday night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables.
He heard again, "Jesus is watching you." This time he shined his light all over, and it rested on a parrot.
He asked, "Did you say that?"
The parrot admitted that he had. "I'm just trying to warn you, is all."
The burglar sad, "Warn me, huh? A parrot? Who are you? What's your name?"
"Moses."
"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"
The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler "Jesus'"........
source: www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/parrotjokes.html
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:08, archived)
I don't think so, otherwise we would never have heard his story
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:13, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:13, archived)
Ah yes, of course
I wonder if the parrot was lying about the dog.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:14, archived)
I wonder if the parrot was lying about the dog.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:14, archived)
Night of Drinking
A man and his pet parrot walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my parrot."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the parrot falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a parrot."
source: www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/parrotjokes.html
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:19, archived)
A man and his pet parrot walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my parrot."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the parrot falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a parrot."
source: www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/parrotjokes.html
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:19, archived)
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: an animal that talks your head off.
source: www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/parrotjokes.html
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:59, archived)
Best. Film. Ever. Apart. From. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
www.youtube.com/watch?v=waRRmXtw8VY
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:11, archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=waRRmXtw8VY
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:11, archived)
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie.
source: www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/parrotjokes.html
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:13, archived)
is there a film where Samuel L. Jackson gets eaten by a centipede?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:15, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:15, archived)
there's Centipede Horror
which is apparently some kind of Chinese video nasty
but Samuel L. Jackson isn't in it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlUVeG0UFiQ
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:16, archived)
which is apparently some kind of Chinese video nasty
but Samuel L. Jackson isn't in it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlUVeG0UFiQ
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:16, archived)
does Momo tell lies?
and are parrots known for telling lies?
asking for a friend
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:17, archived)
and are parrots known for telling lies?
asking for a friend
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:17, archived)
you consider me a friend?
I...I don't know what to say. This is all so sudden! *wipes tear*
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:18, archived)
I...I don't know what to say. This is all so sudden! *wipes tear*
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:18, archived)
well maybe the pair of you should go into one of the rooms and have someone brick up all the doors and windows
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:29, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:29, archived)
Parrot chat, manolith!
As moderator, shouldn't you be doing something about this?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:11, archived)
As moderator, shouldn't you be doing something about this?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 12:11, archived)
I always thought "D4 damager" was a dungeons and dragons reference.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:22, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:22, archived)
more likely to be "DD", pronounced double-dee
you know, like titties.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:29, archived)
you know, like titties.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:29, archived)
I saw one, once.
Rumour has it, they come in pairs, but I'm not sure.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:44, archived)
Rumour has it, they come in pairs, but I'm not sure.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:44, archived)
disappointed that qftw still hasn't hit two pages despite me encouraging people to contribute there
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:56, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:56, archived)
I doubt it. I have excellent technique. You probably won't last more than a minute.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:50, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:50, archived)
that baggenfock is quite literally the worst person who has ever existed
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:22, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:22, archived)
I think you're 'negging' him because you secretly love him and want to bear his bum-babies.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:42, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:42, archived)
it was an old way of remembering what day of the week it was without a calendar
you placed six marbles on the mantelpiece and took one off every morning, when there were none left then you knew it was Sunday so you went to church
and if you lost your marbles you didn't know what day it was
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 10:50, archived)
you placed six marbles on the mantelpiece and took one off every morning, when there were none left then you knew it was Sunday so you went to church
and if you lost your marbles you didn't know what day it was
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 10:50, archived)
probably, she strikes me as a bit of a manipulative scheming bitch tbh
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:13, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:13, archived)
bluff
www.ukgameshows.com/p/images/a/a1/Frank_muir_headshot.jpg
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:04, archived)
www.ukgameshows.com/p/images/a/a1/Frank_muir_headshot.jpg
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:04, archived)
as the skull exploded into dozens of bloody shards, a deep voice bellows
WHAT A MESS!
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:08, archived)
WHAT A MESS!
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:08, archived)
I'm surprised a pretty girl like you doesn't know such a simple thing as that
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 10:49, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 10:49, archived)
The act of inserting games workshop figurines into another mans bottom
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:13, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 11:13, archived)
Happy Techno Day everyone!
Are you going to be doing techno moves on the dancefloor later to some banging 'tunes'?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:18, archived)
Are you going to be doing techno moves on the dancefloor later to some banging 'tunes'?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:18, archived)
I think they give you them back after they let you out of the asylum.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:21, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:21, archived)
so I take it you don't know the origin of the phrase "to lose one's marbles" then
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:25, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:25, archived)
I think we have different understandings of what actually constitutes a titty
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:51, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:51, archived)
what's the form here, am I meant to tell the internet about this, I'm not sure
/ac
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:54, archived)
/ac
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:54, archived)
manolith, tired of digitally spelunking dog innards,
decided to instigate a radicalist regime that replaced all existing icons with religious images dedicated to his own totalitarian religion, because he's an extremist terrorist and Daesh sympathiser.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:51, archived)
decided to instigate a radicalist regime that replaced all existing icons with religious images dedicated to his own totalitarian religion, because he's an extremist terrorist and Daesh sympathiser.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:51, archived)
^ wants to stick his cock in the morning and get it sucked by a bored truck driver on the other side
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:59, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 7:59, archived)
Bit chilly this morning
first time I've had to put on more than just a t-shirt.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:20, archived)
first time I've had to put on more than just a t-shirt.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:20, archived)
Well I've got my jacket on now, so I'm getting there
thanks friend
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:25, archived)
thanks friend
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:25, archived)
Why do you think I like in Portsmouth?
Stay where you are, it's almost certainly nicer than anywhere down here
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:24, archived)
Stay where you are, it's almost certainly nicer than anywhere down here
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:24, archived)
I've only been to the town centre, it wouldn't be fair of me to comment
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:32, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:32, archived)
Yeah, I think we're going to have a look at Gloucestershire, but I quite fancies Hampshire for being a bit nearer the sea.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:29, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:29, archived)
nothing brings b3ta to life quite like a discussion of house prices
it's very much like the Daily Mail in that respect
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:31, archived)
it's very much like the Daily Mail in that respect
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:31, archived)
My Dad bought a flat in Margate for 18k
it's got to be worth at least double that by now
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:34, archived)
it's got to be worth at least double that by now
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:34, archived)
I think you're supposed to ask what type of mortgage he got, or something
I'm not very good at dinner party conversation
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:40, archived)
I'm not very good at dinner party conversation
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:40, archived)
My one is one of those where you get the bank to buy it for you and then you pay them back or summat
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:42, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:42, archived)
I'm not sure why trying to have a conversation about stuff is so frowned upon.
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:49, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:49, archived)
perhaps we could do mobile phone contracts next, how many free texts and minutes, always fun that till we can talk about lunch
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:03, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:03, archived)
but how can you have any feeling of self-worth
if you don't compare your own fiscal status to those around you?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:48, archived)
if you don't compare your own fiscal status to those around you?
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:48, archived)
i get my self worth from all the great charity stuff i do that i don't like to talk about
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:05, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 9:05, archived)
I just hope the big guy is smiting the dregs of society as we speak
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:26, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:26, archived)
I can sense your frustration and anger, don't worry, I'll start a thread soon
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:47, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:47, archived)
I only come here to find out what day it is and if Frank is here yet
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:56, archived)
( , Wed 9 Dec 2015, 8:56, archived)
tell you what's fucking intolerable, when you've got your trousers off and someone rings the fucking doorbell and you think oh wow where did I leave my trousers they might need to come in
so you run round and find your trousers then it turns out it was the neighbour giving you a parcel that Fedex couldn't deliver like a week ago, fuck knows what he's done with it, probably masturbated into it by now
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:42, archived)
so you run round and find your trousers then it turns out it was the neighbour giving you a parcel that Fedex couldn't deliver like a week ago, fuck knows what he's done with it, probably masturbated into it by now
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:42, archived)
If you just stopped wearing trousers people would get used to it or stop knocking, win
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:46, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:46, archived)
I put on my wizard hat and robe
img04.deviantart.net/1935/i/2004/01/0/7/the_great_parrot_magician.jpg
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 21:00, archived)
img04.deviantart.net/1935/i/2004/01/0/7/the_great_parrot_magician.jpg
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 21:00, archived)
That is intolerable.
He's probably had it open and touch all the good bits with his penis.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:52, archived)
He's probably had it open and touch all the good bits with his penis.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:52, archived)
Well, you're only feeding it to your fucking stupid parrot, so it doesn't matter.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:56, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:56, archived)
he's asleep now, he's stood on one leg on top of his perch making the occasional cluck noise
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:57, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:57, archived)
I once opened the door to my missus bollock naked cos she'd only nipped to the shop
only she'd come back with booze and crisps and the next door neighbour.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 22:11, archived)
only she'd come back with booze and crisps and the next door neighbour.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 22:11, archived)
I've just read your post again and now it sounds like you opened the door and your missus was bollock naked
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 23:17, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 23:17, archived)
tell you what's fucking intolerable, when you've got your trousers off and someone rings the fucking doorbell and you think oh wow where did I leave my trousers hang on this needs to be a new thread reallt doesn't it
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:40, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:40, archived)
Deux cactus discutent.
- Tu sais parler la langage humain ?
- Oui c'est simple. Ils disent toujours "aïe".
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:28, archived)
- Tu sais parler la langage humain ?
- Oui c'est simple. Ils disent toujours "aïe".
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:28, archived)
Comment s'appelle la femme qui a inventé la touche "bis" du téléphone ?
Sarah Pèle (ca rappelle).
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:30, archived)
Sarah Pèle (ca rappelle).
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:30, archived)
I know a French joke
something along the lines of an English bloke's wife dies so he goes to a hat shop to buy a black hat for the funeral but he goes in a chemist's shop by mistake ans say "un chapeau noir s'il vous plait, parce que ma femme est morte" and the chemist says "ah, les anglaises! quelle delicatesse!"
which is actually slightly funny
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:23, archived)
something along the lines of an English bloke's wife dies so he goes to a hat shop to buy a black hat for the funeral but he goes in a chemist's shop by mistake ans say "un chapeau noir s'il vous plait, parce que ma femme est morte" and the chemist says "ah, les anglaises! quelle delicatesse!"
which is actually slightly funny
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:23, archived)
because "un chapeau noir" means "a black hat"
but it can also mean a condom
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:24, archived)
but it can also mean a condom
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:24, archived)
neither do I, I'm just trying desperately to make a bunch of complete strangers like me
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:30, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:30, archived)
I think it's something about not wanting to get a dead body pregnant because the baby would come out a bit odd
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:39, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 20:39, archived)
just took my trousers off
and I don't plan on putting them on again before 7am tomorrow
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:54, archived)
and I don't plan on putting them on again before 7am tomorrow
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:54, archived)
I bought one watch from christies and the counts spam my in box non stop, shove your African art you cunts
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:06, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:06, archived)
And I don't care that you are having a 50 years of omega in space sale, piss off laura
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:10, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:10, archived)
I had my first Christmas present from a patient today. It's wrapped but I'm pretty sure it's a bottle of gin. Still got another hours worth of prescriptions and referral letters to do so might crack it open.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:07, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:07, archived)
Ah. Remember the good old days when GPs were all chronic alcoholics. Safer times.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:23, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 19:23, archived)
The worst sort of people are the ones that go for a high five, and then grab your hand on contact.
Like some sort of awkward up in the air handshake.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:25, archived)
Like some sort of awkward up in the air handshake.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:25, archived)
well no, the gays are worse because they spread diseases
deliberately
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:51, archived)
deliberately
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:51, archived)
Look, Frank, you've gone too far here.
Offtopic is dying and you should be more welcoming to Geordiejay who might start posting here. Plus, Manolith and twohats have never knowingly passed on their aids.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:53, archived)
Offtopic is dying and you should be more welcoming to Geordiejay who might start posting here. Plus, Manolith and twohats have never knowingly passed on their aids.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:53, archived)
hey you're the one who gets followed around by little yapping dogs, im just trying to join in
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:20, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:20, archived)
I honestly can't tell them apart
but they all seem to think they know my name
it is most odd
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:32, archived)
but they all seem to think they know my name
it is most odd
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:32, archived)
What this section of the forum needs is foood and weekend plans threads, they are very interesting indeed
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:57, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:57, archived)
I haven't been logged out for a while, is it still stalking me? Its not upset I used ignore at all
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:04, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:04, archived)
oh well it can stay on ignore then, hopefully one of the mods will sort out this situation
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:10, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:10, archived)
he keeps posting photos of you coming out of your house, on the way to the shops, in the pub, that kind of thing
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:16, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:16, archived)
wank someone else's cock off for a while
give yourself a chance to heal
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:19, archived)
give yourself a chance to heal
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:19, archived)
Well it seems those professional nudes I sent you were a waste of money then
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:22, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:22, archived)
Momo's stood on one leg with his head tucked backwards while he falls asleep
he's well cute, the stupid fluffy-arsed twat
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:29, archived)
he's well cute, the stupid fluffy-arsed twat
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:29, archived)
they do if you post a gif or wikipedia entry on qftw though
the wankers
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:23, archived)
the wankers
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:23, archived)
it won't last much longer, this place is pretty well dead on its arse now
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:25, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:25, archived)
pretty sure you were a contributory factor in MGT leaving
you horrendous bully
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:31, archived)
you horrendous bully
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 18:31, archived)
No seriously, I want to know
Hahaha, do you see what I did there?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:02, archived)
Hahaha, do you see what I did there?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:02, archived)
the big zit on the side of my nose burst earlier and released a singularly pleasing plug of yellow pus
it feels much better now
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 16:53, archived)
it feels much better now
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 16:53, archived)
First time I had a gangleon on my wrist drained
My God, that was glorious
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:01, archived)
My God, that was glorious
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:01, archived)
my dad had one of those on the back of his hand, the stupid fucking cuntlick
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:02, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:02, archived)
Haha
That guy at the end. I don't know who he is, but I hate him.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:02, archived)
That guy at the end. I don't know who he is, but I hate him.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 17:02, archived)
it's kind of cute
he talks about me but is too shy to talk to me
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 16:45, archived)
he talks about me but is too shy to talk to me
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 16:45, archived)
Consider this an exclusive Waitrose extra-luxury 'alright' thread.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:53, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:53, archived)
I'm only here to perv on the blonde A-level student who works here and bears a striking resemblance to Scarlett Johannson*.
*an actual feature of my local 'Trose.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:10, archived)
*an actual feature of my local 'Trose.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:10, archived)
Some lovelies in Ikea at Southampton
Just putting that out there
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:20, archived)
Just putting that out there
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:20, archived)
I know it's effectively the same as a cheaper 'aright' thread
but I feel comforted by the extra cost
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:00, archived)
but I feel comforted by the extra cost
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:00, archived)
do i get a little token that i can put in a box for one of three local charities?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:02, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:02, archived)
In the one I go to
they don't always give you one if you just pop in and buy a loaf of bread or something.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:09, archived)
they don't always give you one if you just pop in and buy a loaf of bread or something.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:09, archived)
Yeah go on, I'm feeling generous.
There's a shopping service for old dears, a charity that looks after unwanted pet pythons and an after-school club for children who're being bullied on account of their revolting ginger hair and faces like sad freckly ghosts.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:05, archived)
There's a shopping service for old dears, a charity that looks after unwanted pet pythons and an after-school club for children who're being bullied on account of their revolting ginger hair and faces like sad freckly ghosts.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:05, archived)
There's going to be a Fortnum and Mason alright thread on the secret board at 9pm
pass it on
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:22, archived)
pass it on
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:22, archived)
There'll be a spunking-best-part-of-a-ton-on-gak-lager-and-fags-on-a-Tuesday-night-for-no-particular-reason 'alright' thread later, I think.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:36, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:36, archived)
Sky News 9pm - prolly some news.
Hey kids. What time is love? What time is love? Oooowuurrrrrrrp oooowuurrrrp! What time is love?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:18, archived)
Hey kids. What time is love? What time is love? Oooowuurrrrrrrp oooowuurrrrp! What time is love?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:18, archived)
Oh man, I'm putting some karate in your body, some rhymes in your mind
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNtNUBxDjVY
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:34, archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNtNUBxDjVY
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:34, archived)
By an amazing coincidence I am actually a lady devastator with a big drum beater. By which I am referring to my penis.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:37, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:37, archived)
i can't believe it was that easy to find another racist fruit drink
the article i found it in was quite eye-opening, i can tell you
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:02, archived)
the article i found it in was quite eye-opening, i can tell you
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 15:02, archived)
well why not?? It is CEEEERRRRIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMUSSSSSS after all!
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:48, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:48, archived)
NOOOOOO! NHS HSCIC have ruined crispmas :(
We found a security threat.
We stopped it before it could cause any harm.
You tried to visit:
members.tripod.com/~dawright/sandman.mid
Not allowed to browse this Malicious URL.
Content blocked due to NHS HSCIC Policy implemented by N3SP
See our internet use policy.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:02, archived)
We found a security threat.
We stopped it before it could cause any harm.
You tried to visit:
members.tripod.com/~dawright/sandman.mid
Not allowed to browse this Malicious URL.
Content blocked due to NHS HSCIC Policy implemented by N3SP
See our internet use policy.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:02, archived)
I saw that Proper Crimbo song on the telly, last week.
Did people really find that sort of thing funny, in olden times?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:03, archived)
Did people really find that sort of thing funny, in olden times?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:03, archived)
surprised he didn't steal an account with an icon, bit silly that
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:38, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:38, archived)
A bit of sex might take away some of the pain of your cruel words. Thanks.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:31, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 14:31, archived)
oh right, so pushing content down the board is acceptable behaviour now is it
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:40, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:40, archived)
i think you may need to show people your 3.0 ignore, there seems to be confusion surrounding it
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:42, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:42, archived)
still waiting on the update with lexi belle and cats, justsaying
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:45, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:45, archived)
it's still in development, it just does Sensi Pearl and a ferret at the moment
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:53, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:53, archived)
i dont even..
www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/drunk-soldier-jailed-after-rape-attempt-47498/
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:35, archived)
www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/drunk-soldier-jailed-after-rape-attempt-47498/
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:35, archived)
Sitting in a bench and drinking yourself insensible is a common pastime in Chatham.
Really posh residents have houses they can drink inside of.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:39, archived)
Really posh residents have houses they can drink inside of.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:39, archived)
i had a look, found this
o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/midas/b39ca86114f36c210b5b3967c6da718f/202696213/grumpy2.jpg
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:42, archived)
o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/midas/b39ca86114f36c210b5b3967c6da718f/202696213/grumpy2.jpg
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:42, archived)
That's a very progressive view Mongo
and it is the same woman, same photoshoot
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:52, archived)
and it is the same woman, same photoshoot
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 12:52, archived)
it's all pretend
he barely knows how to use a computer. he's browing b3ta on internet explorer
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:59, archived)
he barely knows how to use a computer. he's browing b3ta on internet explorer
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:59, archived)
don't get too close, unless you want your arm brokely-doken
/Flanders and Swan
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:50, archived)
/Flanders and Swan
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:50, archived)
I enjoy mince pies
but you're right...I'd get sick of them if they were around all the time.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:45, archived)
but you're right...I'd get sick of them if they were around all the time.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:45, archived)
people like you need controls like this to save you from yourselves
if only pâté was seasonal
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:48, archived)
if only pâté was seasonal
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:48, archived)
I bought some pate the other day and it resulted in me not cooking dinner.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:55, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:55, archived)
ok, what about closing up the internet?
we should probably have a chat with bill gates about it tbh
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:46, archived)
we should probably have a chat with bill gates about it tbh
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:46, archived)
prohibition never works
if anything it would only make them more appealing to teenagers
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:42, archived)
if anything it would only make them more appealing to teenagers
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:42, archived)
I think all religion should be banned
then we can all concentrate on real things
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:44, archived)
then we can all concentrate on real things
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:44, archived)
you said it would be a good idea for a thread, you twat
that's the last time I'm taking advice from you
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:46, archived)
that's the last time I'm taking advice from you
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:46, archived)
+ do doo be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do!
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:51, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:51, archived)
Well my christmas lunch was satisfactory
and now I'm drowsy as fuck. Drowsey? who cares, I'm falling asleep at my desk.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:05, archived)
and now I'm drowsy as fuck. Drowsey? who cares, I'm falling asleep at my desk.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 13:05, archived)
I'm having turkey and christmas pud today!
CURRRRRRRRRRRRISTMEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSS!
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:51, archived)
CURRRRRRRRRRRRISTMEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSS!
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:51, archived)
i haven't played many of the older mgs games, but this one is definitely better than all of them
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:13, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:13, archived)
take. your christmas icons.
cover them in angel delight mixed with broken glass.
and push them slowly up your anus one by one until your tattered sphincter looks like the star of bethlehem.
you. fucking. cunt.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:56, archived)
cover them in angel delight mixed with broken glass.
and push them slowly up your anus one by one until your tattered sphincter looks like the star of bethlehem.
you. fucking. cunt.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:56, archived)
I was going to post this but I just felt certain that someone else would
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:59, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 10:59, archived)
oh surprise surprise
Frank is utterly fucking wrong about something.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:00, archived)
Frank is utterly fucking wrong about something.
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:00, archived)
You fucking savage
butterscotch angel delight is the most delicious man made substance on earth
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:00, archived)
butterscotch angel delight is the most delicious man made substance on earth
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:00, archived)
yes, if your taste buds are just one big fat farty spastic that sits on your tongue shitting idiotic nerve impulses to your brain all day every day like a big spazzy taste bud spaz twat that can barely hold its plops in
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:03, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:03, archived)
you don't get to tell me when and when not to get a fucking erection
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:05, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:05, archived)
my family are very religious so we have to do it in a church ok?
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:38, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:38, archived)
it's clever, i don't know why it isn't implemented on the forum, the mods clearly do nothing about stalkers so it would make sense
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:35, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:35, archived)
if that's the case, then mano should just post another thread and we can all move on
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:31, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:31, archived)
did you not see how it worked? he can still see the threads just not the content so can join in chatting with the other people in the thread
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:38, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:38, archived)
are you telling everyone how great I am? I think most people know already
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:39, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:39, archived)
I'll colour YOU in a pretty shade of pink in a minute no wait that sounds a bit faggoty, forget I said that
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:41, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:41, archived)
I couldn't ever see them taking off as a year round snack as they're not actually that nice, but they'll do for now
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:39, archived)
( , Tue 8 Dec 2015, 11:39, archived)
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