b3ta.com talk

Home » Talk » Archive 14020 (Older | Newer)

What's your favourite thing you own that's over ten years old?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:52, archived)

Lots of my possessions are over ten years old.
You want me to pick just one? I couldn't do that, what if word got back to the others?
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:55, archived)

They already talk about you when you are not there
The Christmas round robin is a delight to read.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

my wife hahahahaha

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:55, archived)

women aren't possessions mate, grow up

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:03, archived)

hahahah I know that really, I'm just playing
GOD, I fucking love this place, y'know? I like REALLY LOVE IT.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:05, archived)

oh no, he's caught Yank's Disease!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:06, archived)

quick, yank him off!

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:15, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQFxmAdyKcg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:16, archived)

haha we *do* have a right laugh here, it's true

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:16, archived)

imagine if we had a left laugh!
ahaha, i kid, i kid
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:17, archived)

^THIS is why you're the mod

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

my guitar
sorry son
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:55, archived)

^ Eric Clapton

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:03, archived)

lol
what's the difference between a bag of coke and a toddler?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:08, archived)

nothing
they both get right up my nose!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:14, archived)

One blows in the wind the other falls to its death?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

life

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:56, archived)

^doesn't want to see a ghost

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:17, archived)

I've got a couple of old whiskys, but they're hardly a "favourite thing"
My bass guitar probably, don't think anything else I've got is that old
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:57, archived)

i find it hard to believe you don't have a games console in a cupboard or attic somewhere
considering we're only a couple months away from the 10 year anniversary of the ps3 and the wii
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:06, archived)

One of my mates is whinging because he bought a snes about 2 years ago, then sold it for about £20 quid when he got bored.
Now he wants one and they've increased in price. I told him at the time he was an idiot for selling it for such a pointless amount of money but that's the way he is. He'd sell his nan if he could.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:08, archived)

how much does he want for her?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:09, archived)

media2.giphy.com/media/9wZybot8h5Nte/giphy.gif
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:11, archived)

*eiffel towers*

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:12, archived)

how much is he selling her for?
it'll have to be cheap as i can get yours for free
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:10, archived)

Emulator + ROMs = free SNES

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:11, archived)

+ PSP = + portable

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:12, archived)

The crushing realisation that all the games you loved as a kid are actually shit?
Priceless.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:14, archived)

I dunno, maybe the SNES / Genesis is a bit far
But I've loaded my PSP with a load of PS1 games and it's perfect for them. I've nearly finished Final Fantasy 9, but I also have the Crash Bandicoot games, Vagrant Story, Final Fantasy Tactics, and tons more. The PS1 had some amazing games if you get over the low poly graphics
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

There are a few games from the 16-bit era that still hold up well,
so I shouldn't be too harsh.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:29, archived)

Yeah, or just load a wii up with them.
You need a decent controller for a lot of them though. I found it hard to play nes/snes games on my nintendo DS as the controller was too small for the games.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:16, archived)

I found the Wiimote was fine for NES games, as it's basically a NES controller, anyway,
and OK for MegaDrive stuff, too. Uncomfortable after a while, though, and useless if you need more than 2 or 3 buttons. Quite what Nintendo were thinking when they decided that having a joypad worth a WiiMote dangling of it was a good idea, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

Fair point, I have a Dreamcast and arguably the greatest game ever made, Shenmue
But they don't get played
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:11, archived)

i'm still a bit annoyed at how shenmue 2 ended and it's been 15 years

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

Same, I admit I was one of those fanboys who flipped their shit when Shenmue 3 was announced
And it's one of two things I've backed on Kickstarter, the other being the Pathologic remake coming out next year
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

yeah, i backed it too
stopped reading the email updates quite some time ago though
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:24, archived)

As long as it gets made they can take as long as they want
As someone who's been waiting for The Last Guardian for years, I'm firmly in the "take as long as you need to make it good" camp. It produces quality like the Witcher games and (hopefully) Final Fantasy XV
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

my guitar's 15 years old, probably useless now

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:06, archived)

mine's 52 years old

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:09, archived)

Records or the record player i'm in the process of refurbishing.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:59, archived)

When that is finished, man, those Val Doonican long players are going to sound wonderful

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

It's going to look the business.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:55, archived)

I have only a bowl and a simple robe
and a torque wrench
None of these are that old
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:00, archived)

I'm sure this is a reference to something, I just can't think what

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:01, archived)

seems to be referring to fancy thinking
www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhistworld/robe_txt.htm
(

vladimir, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 13:31, archived)

yeah i'm not getting involved in this for eveyones good

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:01, archived)

how old is your oldest watch?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:02, archived)

If he's got a sundial, could be well old

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

i dunno about favourite thing,
but i noticed the other day that the tea towel i use to stop beard bits going all over the sink when i trim is 4 years older than i am

there
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:01, archived)

What are you some sort of time travelling, tea towel stealing wookie?

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:05, archived)

yes

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:06, archived)

oh

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:13, archived)

nah, it's just a tea towel i nicked from the airing cupboard when i moved out many moons ago
turned out to be from 1980
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:16, archived)

I did that with my actual towel then forgot and used it to dry myself off the next day.
That was unwise.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:06, archived)

^ not a cool frood

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:12, archived)

~~cool~~ hoopy
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:14, archived)

Point to you.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:15, archived)

*points to you*

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:25, archived)

*pointing at chickens*

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:31, archived)

~~beard bits~~ pubes
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:07, archived)

nah man, i just let them run wild and free

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:09, archived)

www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/sacre-bleu-french-use-the-spinnaker-tower-to-advertise-southampton-1-7577107
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

stupid scummers

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:20, archived)

lol

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

hey, if none of us know the difference between Southampton and Portsmouth, what chance do the French have?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

who fucking cares

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:25, archived)

right?
town rivalries are so dumb
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:26, archived)

Gotta hate people for some reason
might as well be what town they live in
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:28, archived)

hey look, i found the most pointless thing
www.zavvi.com/kitchen-accessories/eddingtons-egg-cuber-yellow/11091973.html
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:32, archived)

*buys*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:32, archived)

I think of that view
whenever I visit this shop
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

Will you look at that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

I've got a crombie that I hardly ever wear.
Must be knocking on 20 years old, but it's in excellent condition. I should get more use out of it, really.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:08, archived)

^ Nigel Farage impersonator

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:13, archived)

No, no, no, let be speak!
Haha, like on Dead Ringers!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

My copy of Catch 22 I read as a kid
Blew. My. Mind.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:16, archived)

Tricky one
If you read it, you might not like it. But if you don't read it, you'll never know for sure.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

Lots of people have been influenced by great works
That taught me the futility of the machine we are in. Good life lesson for a kid that.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

saves having a teenage existential crisis

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:25, archived)

I read it, and thought it was terrible.
Dunno what this proves, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

Question.
If you had to kill one Care Bear in front of the others, which would you chose and why?
(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:53, archived)

I cannot name a single care bear.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:54, archived)

^ this
Also, I'm not a killer.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:56, archived)

I bet there's probably a love bear. Maybe a hug bear.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:00, archived)

I hope there's a Cruel to be Kind bear
that steals the power supply for your gaming console until you've done your homework
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:08, archived)

^all filler

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:13, archived)

I'm comfort eating.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

^

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:59, archived)

Dee art ag nan

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:50, archived)

I wouldn't care, as long as I could use a big barrel of Dip like in Who Framed Roger Rabbit

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:55, archived)

Deal.

(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:58, archived)

I wouldn't mind a dip in jessica rabbit.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:59, archived)

The odds on you dying laughing are equally slim.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:00, archived)

lol

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:02, archived)

it's a shit question, mat8
there's a whole bit of the site for those already, for fuck's sake
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:57, archived)

Okay then. How about this?
If you had to suck one of my balls, would you chose the right or left?
(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:59, archived)

^upset

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:02, archived)

Nah, just bored.

(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:07, archived)

media.giphy.com/media/gPUgz699MuMW4/giphy.gif
(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:06, archived)

what a cheeky chappy

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:11, archived)

i think he got married recently, bless him

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:12, archived)

was there a john lewis list? we could all chip in and get them a pressie

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:15, archived)

Just don't get any knives hahahahahaha
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/EverybodyLaughs_5749.jpg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:19, archived)

403 Forbidden

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:51, archived)

He did, but she did it for the money or summat
So he dumped her. I lol'd.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

bloody gold diggers, can't trust anyone

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:18, archived)

Jesus, I've tried twice to post a link to the story
and it's made my machine crash. Fucking Telegraph.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:30, archived)

oh, i'm keeping the present then

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:18, archived)

Aw, he's lovely really
Let's let him go!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:12, archived)

as long as his neighbours keep an eye on him, what's the worst that could happen?!

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:21, archived)

He's just a lovely old man who wants to make amends
Is that such a bad thing?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:30, archived)

whichever one came out of the waste bin at the gender reassignment clinic first

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:07, archived)

no

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:09, archived)

oh hahahahahahahahahaha
media.giphy.com/media/frClgSyHYhcLm/giphy.gif
(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:59, archived)

lol

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:59, archived)

GS

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:00, archived)

i.imgur.com/rny3ELw.gifv
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:01, archived)

lol

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:15, archived)

Bullshit question
If you can name a care bear then you should kill yourself
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:00, archived)

Special guest star Pedo Bear.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

I've heard he can't be killed by normal methods.

(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:08, archived)

Intensive Care Bear

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:08, archived)

Home Care Bear

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:15, archived)

Elderly Care Bear

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

Private Health Care Bear
Running out of ideas, here. Clearly, "health care related bear names" wasn't the rich source I'd hoped.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:19, archived)

It's a shit idea for a thread, to be fair
He comes in with a crap thread, gets upset, then fucks off. Togaboy should be fucking banned for this. Maybe if our mod had some fucking BALLS, he'd get off his arse and do something about it. Fucking sick of it.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:20, archived)

i could do something about it without even getting off my arse
THAT'S how lazy i am
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:22, archived)

Oh, I didn't mean you m8
I meant...the other one.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:31, archived)

ah yes, the secret mod

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:51, archived)

TIP EHT FO MOTTOB

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:52, archived)

you cannot match my speed

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 12:00, archived)

Nup, still here.
Popping in and out of the office. Long ago learnt not to be upset at the internet.
(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:34, archived)

~~Popping in and out of the office~~ Crying and wanking with my Wotsit stained hands while watching Care Bears
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:39, archived)

Have you tried not being shit at the internet as well? Because if so, I think you need a refresher course.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:40, archived)

Teach me
O glorious master.
(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:49, archived)

reader beware, you're in for a scare bear
thousand yard stare bear
dragon's lair bear
truth or dare bear
pound yer banana, two pound yer pear bear
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:25, archived)

the bear faced cheek of it

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:31, archived)

don't care bear

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:09, archived)

I lazily copied Two Hat's style

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:10, archived)

many do, m8
don't be ashamed
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:11, archived)

Public Health S

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:11, archived)

strikey-g on the L lol

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:11, archived)

yes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:12, archived)

Public Heath!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:13, archived)

It's where your nan sells her wares.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:14, archived)

s bear
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:26, archived)

It's grizzly, but it aint a bear.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:28, archived)

I think I had one of those
she never called me afterwards though, the bitch
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:35, archived)

frank lampard to all

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:20, archived)

+1 for 8000000

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:25, archived)

yes!

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 11:27, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 6:57, archived)

Yeah it is!!

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:03, archived)

FUCK YES GET IT ON MY SON!!!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:05, archived)

Morning
Fuck that was a big storm
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:07, archived)

was it a PROPAH BELTAH MY BOOOIIIII!!!!
?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:08, archived)

Aye, heavens opened, sky was pitch black by 7 o'clock
Proper end of days stuff, the dog was terrified
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:09, archived)

I need one of those here
it's been stupidly hot for weeks now and the concrete jungle needs cooling off
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:12, archived)

Yeah I'll give it that, its really nice this morning
Fuck humidity
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:16, archived)

I'm fucking amazing
/fuck humility
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:20, archived)

I like to make everything just a little more complex
/fuck simplicity
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:23, archived)

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/06/03/01/29418FA900000578-0-image-m-22_1433289693085.jpg
/aw hell naw
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:38, archived)

D:

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:43, archived)

Bollocks

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:30, archived)

BIT DANGLY HAIRY ONES LIKE PROPER PORN STAR BLOKES USED TO HAVE!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:32, archived)

Dubs

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:38, archived)

when you gonna hit TH9?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:55, archived)

7 days I think

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:14, archived)

Alright Grrrmachine
Today is Windows enumeration, mimikatz, RID cycling and Windows Application server hacking.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:40, archived)

good for you
do you also eat whipped cream from a can like that fat bloke in Jurassic Park?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 7:56, archived)

Sometimes. It all depends on the location.
I did order a chocolate brownie after my meal last night and it came with about half a can of whipped cream on top of it - I felt quite ill afterwards.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:19, archived)

Hello

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:03, archived)

oh hello two hats
I hope this morning finds you well?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:04, archived)

Quite well, quite well

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:16, archived)

I'm cringing.
I was talking about somebody on site (Stephanie) with one of our guys. He works with her and calls her Steph. I've never met her so have no right to be that familiar and I accidentally sent her an email saying "Hi Steph" instead of "Hi Stephanie". I can't believe I've committed such a gross faux pas.

I might have to kill myself out of shame. Good bye cruel world.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:11, archived)

sometimes it works in your favour m8
Even though I work with a Polish team, all our comms have to be in English. So when I'm introduced to a new team member formally, and instantly call him by his informal name (Jakub/Kuba), it makes for a stronger and friendlier team.

Also, does this Stephanie look like a young Ally Sheedy?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:15, archived)

I rather fall on the German side of etiquette
where you slam the phone down on anybody that doesn't lead with their company and last name.

And she's not far off, actually. A bit more Greek.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:17, archived)

ARGH GOD SHE'S REPLIED AND SIGNED HER NAME AS STEPHANIE
Her name is already in her signature so it reads

Regards,

Stephanie

Stephanie Whatshername
Position,
Company.

She's telling me I'm a cunt and I can't disagree.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:14, archived)

You seem to be overly anxious about this
Does it really matter?
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:17, archived)

It's one of my pet hates when people do it to me
so I suppose I have a heightened sensitivity about it. Dunno.
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:19, archived)

Orite Nev

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:21, archived)

I get emails addressed to a contraction of my name, all the time.
I never bother to correct them, as I find it a handy way to identify people who don't know me very well, as I never go by the contracted form of my given name.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:19, archived)

Never really bothered me tbh

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:23, archived)

My surname is also a fairly common first name
After nearly ten years I still get called by my surname at least twice a week
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:23, archived)

What really makes me mad though
Is that the naming convention in our email system throughout the entire company is Surname, First name. It's the same for everyone. So do they think that I'm special somehow? Idiots.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:24, archived)

Mind you, I got called 'Larry' once
I really don't understand that one
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:25, archived)

?
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:31, archived)

If the person in question knew me better
this would make perfect sense
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:32, archived)

i used to get called 'phil' quite a bit
and i once went to an event where they'd made nametags for everyone and somehow they'd read my name as 'dave'
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:56, archived)

*another Only Fools & Horses reference*

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:03, archived)

Yeah, I could see you as a 'Phil'
Not a Dave though. You are not a Dave.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:06, archived)

If I saw you at a rave, I would not call you Dave
I respect you and Daves, don't use Dave as an insult!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:06, archived)

Hats two, Rodders, hats two.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:30, archived)

^cerebral

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:32, archived)

my own mother almost never gets my name right first time

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:24, archived)

To be fair, how many times have you actually met?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:25, archived)

at least once

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:32, archived)

She just needs time to get used to it
It'll all work out. Just don't be afraid to correct her. She won't mind.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:33, archived)

and my wife calls me by my son's name
come to think of it, I'm not sure anyone really knows my name.
Might move to Boston.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:57, archived)

^lost his wooden leg

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:12, archived)

I had a feeling you might want to go there.
More than a feeling, in fact.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:14, archived)

Terry? Perry? John? William? Taylor?

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:26, archived)

yeah

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:27, archived)

Despite never having met you
I'm certain you look like a Terry. Possibly a "Tel".
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:45, archived)

no, you were actually astonishingly correct
his name is terry perry johnwilliam-taylor
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:58, archived)

Of the Lincolnshire Johnwilliam-Taylor's

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:07, archived)

well that goes without saying

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:35, archived)

For the right price, you can call me whatever you want

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:58, archived)

but don't call you late for your dinner?
my nan used to say that and now she's dead.
makes you think
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:02, archived)

I'd be annoyed if they were shortening Tabatha to Tabs as well

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:30, archived)

I reckon people who get arsey and correct are uptight and full of USI.
Fuck 'em.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:13, archived)

this is literally the worst thing you have ever done

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:20, archived)

It's worse than that time I called a kid ugly to it's mum's face.
I didn't know that was the kid's mum :(
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:25, archived)

You realise you have to up the ante now.
When you write back to her, start your e-mail "Dear Stephy-baby".
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:34, archived)

"Gurl, u tired? Cos u been running through my mind ALL night
Further to our conference call on the 9th, you raised the question of final purchase order submissions before year end, and while...."
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:36, archived)

The key to dealing with passive-aggression is to simply refuse to acknowlege it exists.
I was once dealing with a Dutchman whose surname was Benjamins and I called him 'Benjamin' in an email. He got quite arsey and started addressing me with a mis-spelling of my surname.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:09, archived)

This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:16, archived)

Not if I've killed myself drimble, keep up m8

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:19, archived)

careful
her dad and her husband will fuck you up
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

And her brother will probably just jump off of something big

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:58, archived)

but her mum will just spend loads of money and achieve nothing

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:49, archived)

I asked the Lithuanian bloke fitting my windows his name, and he said Arunas and then I had to type it in an email,
To his boss who is also Lithuanian just saying thanks for how good a job he's done and how pleased I am and then I realised I have no idea how to spell arunas and spent like 20 minutes googling Lithuanian spelling and went with the one that looked right and I'll never know if it was right or not.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

Haha, you accidentally told the boss you liked the bloke's anus

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:55, archived)

It's spelled Arjereunczaksz

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:59, archived)

It's spelled 'Geoff'

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:02, archived)

He was Welsh and his name was Gethin

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:07, archived)

We also have a Lithuanian chap and he's called Aurimas.
It's pronounced like the Musketeer.

Cool story, eh?
(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:14, archived)

Thats not how you spell Dartanian hth x
~~Dartanian~~ D'Artagnan

NOBODY SAW THAT
(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:19, archived)

Neither's that.

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:20, archived)

Dogtanian?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:22, archived)

According to the great repository of all that is true, Wikipedia, it is

(

H.B.Mupps, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:52, archived)

Grrrmeister
Totally wearing a t-shirt to work today because I just don't care.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:22, archived)

I reserve my mankiest t-shirts for work m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:38, archived)

I bet your boss isn't fit though.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:44, archived)

He looks like a mix of Comic Book Guy and Prof Frink from the Simpsons
so no, he's not fit in any sense of the word
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:47, archived)

OK, going to have to agree with you there.
My new boss looks like Daisy Ridley's older sister so I've been dressing to impress for the past fortnight. Now, though, it's too hot for such superficialities.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:56, archived)

?
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/f/f9/185px-Doug.png/revision/latest?cb=20110603132908
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:01, archived)

and a goatee and we're nearly there

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:10, archived)

i wear a tshirt to work erry day

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:48, archived)

guten tag, herrr maschine

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:34, archived)

witam panu

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:39, archived)

well there's no need to be rude

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:23, archived)

bottom get

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:35, archived)

trips

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:39, archived)

bum-miner

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:39, archived)

DENIED

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

I'd like to change the last three letters on the front of fire engines
so it said that
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

bottomer get

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

bum-minest

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

Ahoy hoy
In hindsight, going to London on a school night and then coming back home at 2am was a bit dumb.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:10, archived)

very
no fun for you for the next three days
(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:17, archived)

bit of a sore head today?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:18, archived)

Just the tired
But the fact Newcastle won 6-0 last night at QPR is helping me through at the moment.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:23, archived)

#shitbrag

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:47, archived)

Late for work, but at least I've caught the morning thread.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:16, archived)

here's your p45
don't come in tomorrow
(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:18, archived)

Good old American working practices.

(

Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:20, archived)

More free time for my awesome community!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:24, archived)

Thought you got barred from your local Games Workshop?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:36, archived)

Last time I went to GW, I was appalled by how they'd somehow managed to become even more expensive,
and how they'd deprecated all their own properties in favour of tie-ins to The Hobbit films.
I still regret get rid of all my games and figures, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:43, archived)

It's ok, everyone abandons their figures and games when they want to meet ladies

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:47, archived)

Much like my collection of Beano and Dandy annuals,
it's another thing I can't pass on to by kids. I actually did pass on my Space Marines to one of the kids my wife was teaching at the time, so at least they got a good home - lucky bastard got Space Hulk with both expansion sets.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:01, archived)

these are the sort of priorities that make this community so active and vibrant

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:19, archived)

My baby makes the morning thread
He sometimes posts it from his bed
And then he signs off "bottom get"
And I will click "like" for it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:27, archived)

Now you can sing along!
youtu.be/E9YwyfX33LU?t=52
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:37, archived)

I think I'm going to be sick

(

$$ ✅, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:41, archived)

soz

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:01, archived)

oh i was trying to sing it to lets hear it for the boy, what a dummy

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 9:43, archived)

As long as you have a song in your heart, it doesn't matter
there
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:02, archived)

who gives a fuck who brought u here FAGGOT

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:00, archived)

hey now

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:02, archived)

bump

(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:04, archived)

dirty old bugger
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3788645/Sex-mad-tortoise-saves-species-extinction-100-year-old-Galapagos-giant-credited-rebuilding-population-single-handed.html
(

mongychops, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:07, archived)

midnight til dawn thread

(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 0:12, archived)

How's that going for you?

(

The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 5:35, archived)

So Mel and Sue are quitting Bake-Off. How do you plan to kill yourself?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:22, archived)

prolly get some medical advice from your good self

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:24, archived)

Booze and vallies seems like an alright way to go.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:24, archived)

Not for me, not gonna risk the hangover if it doesn't work.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:40, archived)

Good point, pretty sure I've taken the odd benzo pissed and I'm not dead.
Diffs were always fun as well.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:46, archived)

Get some smack in the mix, job done.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:39, archived)

Fuck me. This place still here?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:26, archived)

You post pictures on /board , did you not notice

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:28, archived)

Alright

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:43, archived)

When do you reckon Rob will stop paying for the hosting?

(

Zuowan, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:57, archived)

Probably when he thinks to check his standing orders.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:57, archived)

He said he'd never kill it. A bold statement

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:00, archived)

I thought all the comments about his wife leaving him might have done it but clearly not.
We're gonna have to up our game
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:15, archived)

I can help

(The B3ta Advent Calendar, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:18, archived)

Woah now.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:20, archived)

Lols

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:28, archived)

alright dr s

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:42, archived)

Hey
So you're single?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 23:21, archived)

I'm waiting for the nhs to diagnose me with an incurable condition then I'll pop over to a suicide centre in Europe and pay to top myself

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:26, archived)

I reckon they'd rake it in of they started treating existential ennui.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:30, archived)

I'd doubt t would kill me that many,

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:35, archived)

It's legal in Holland and there's plenty of drugs and prozzies so you can give yourself a proper send-off

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:35, archived)

Might as well just go out on the drugs and prozzies save the taxi faee to the dignitas.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:38, archived)

"How much to have you suffocate me with your tits?"

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:42, archived)

Hmm now I've got a business plan for a suicide brasshouse.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:45, archived)

It's the next logical step for the coffee and a nosh places

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:48, archived)

I'm told there's some flat-fee all-you-can-fuck ones in Germany that have buffets.
It's like they've asked themselves how they can possibly make things any more grim.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:50, archived)

The birds aren't much to look at, but come on...
omelette station!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:07, archived)

I'm no good at buffet's

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:34, archived)

Rule #1
Don't fill up on bread
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 23:20, archived)

Suicide Brasshouse
#Infest
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:59, archived)

I can diagnose you with one now if you like

(

Zuowan, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:58, archived)

shitting my pants

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:32, archived)

I care not, for I don't even own an telly

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:34, archived)

Dearest b
Alright
(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:36, archived)

sweetest m
alright
(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 20:38, archived)

Probably jump off summat high
Might just play darts instead
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:00, archived)

Careful. You might turn into Bobby George instead.
I'd rather aim for being Alex Higgins.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:04, archived)

Donate my still-living body to medical science
Conscious dissection should be well lol and/or roffle
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:04, archived)

By cake eating. Till I die. Like a really fat cunt. Super fat. Gross fat. Horrible. Like your mum.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:13, archived)

I'd stab myself in the back with a knife that had your fingerprints on it

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 21:42, archived)

dunno
but i'm taking mel and sue with me
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 22:12, archived)

Eat cake until I achieve immortality.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 22:58, archived)

any lurkers lurking?
fancy posting a message to say hi? Do it here my friend!
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:32, archived)

don't be scared, but be ready for gay sex.

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:33, archived)

Yeah, if you choose 'slash', you get slashed and then you get popped anyway, I'm afraid.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:35, archived)

damn

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:36, archived)

i.redd.it/fc5zma47m7lx.jpg
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:58, archived)

good heavens

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:58, archived)

"No way dude, not gay."

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:00, archived)

no homo

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:01, archived)

Being asexually aroused by members of your own gender is totally not gay.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:25, archived)

Not fixing that typo.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:28, archived)

don't be gay, but be ready for scared sex

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:34, archived)

hey, come on now

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:36, archived)

I calls 'em like I sees 'em

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:43, archived)

Existence precedes essence

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:47, archived)

that's what I said

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:47, archived)

bit hostile

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:47, archived)

Hey, peace

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:49, archived)

lol dik dik
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

nice dik

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:47, archived)

No dik pics pls

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:49, archived)

I was modding a guitar a long time
and looked into getting a new nut and researched the different materials you can use. The best post I saw on a forum was "Mine's made from the bone of a Gunther's dik dik LOL"
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:49, archived)

Weirdly enough, my bass has a dik make from a bone of a Gunther's nut nut.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:54, archived)

Small world

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:55, archived)

very

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:57, archived)

what is a gunther?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:01, archived)

good question

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:12, archived)

I mean, I know it's a common German name, like German for Gary or something.
But that sentence infers it's an animal or something.

You wouldn't say 'mine's made from a gary's willy'.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:15, archived)

it's like a Thompson's Gazelle
I guess Gunther was the name of the person who discovered this particular type of dik dik.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:17, archived)

gary's willy is quite big though

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:17, archived)

Can confirm. Know a cuddy-hung Gary.
I know this because he handed me his smartphone and asked me to re-enable autorotate, and I accidentally scrolled through the photos.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:27, archived)

Glad I never got garry the cat now, I'd feel belittled

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:29, archived)

I heard as much from Godby.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 18:55, archived)

grotesque sexual act

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:15, archived)

Long time lurker, first time caller, love the show Chris
I'd post more, but the over-sexual tones from some of the lady boarders scares me.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:17, archived)

they are persistent

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:17, archived)

The sexual harassment I get in the private messages is just too much
Ladies, stop sending me pictures of your bits. Actually please don't
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:19, archived)

Lurkers are worse than jews, they use bandwidth but contribute naink

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:27, archived)

They generate ad revenue doe.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:28, archived)

wankers all of them

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:32, archived)

Fuck em
Lurkers are shit
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:35, archived)

As if anyone would lurk here, watching us argue about Bake Off and calling each other names.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:38, archived)

they do
and they touch themselves thinking about you
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 17:50, archived)

hillary clinton is dead, true or false?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:06, archived)

i haven't checked the news, but i'd say false

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:08, archived)

no way, she died on sunday and has been replaced by a body double

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:17, archived)

I hope so

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:17, archived)

maybe she was a robot all along and she malfunctioned?
they weren't lying when they said she overheated, the heat sink was broken on her cpu
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:19, archived)

fuck
prolly takes 3 days to get replacement bits as well
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

The stock coolers are always shoddy, but they have to provide something
Remember kids - always get an aftermarket cooler for your CPU
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:54, archived)

Cor, breasts!
m.imdb.com/title/tt0086984/parentalguide?ref_=m_tt_stry_pg
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:29, archived)

do you mind I'm trying to chat about lichen here

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:09, archived)

hillary clinton is actually a sentient lichen, true or false?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:10, archived)

no politician is fit to lick the fruticose growth forms of the most inconsequential lichen in existence
(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:13, archived)

ok, reading this in Egon from Ghostbuster's voice

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

I suppose lichens would loosely count under 'spores, moulds and fungus'.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:26, archived)

yeah, for someone interested in those and the supernatural, lichens must be REALLY special
I reckon Egon would have played Rogue or Nethack or similar games.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:30, archived)

also, don't you mean 'trufax or gake'?
no, you almost certainly don't mean that
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:11, archived)

what

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:17, archived)

it's a depressing /board thing
that's what they play down the pub at bashes, allegedly
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

If we had a pub bash
I think we should just play "Let's Buy Beer!" where we all take turns buying a round. It's a good game. Easy to pick up and seriously addictive.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:07, archived)

I've heard of that one, it's pretty fun actually
I like to mix it up with another drinking game we play called "Drink." Basically, when you want to have a drink, you drink, and when you finish your drink you buy another one.
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:12, archived)

Ah, similar sort of thing, slight tweak of the rules
I like it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:17, archived)

Dunno where you do your drinking, but it might be the old North / South divide
like how up North it's a barm and down South it's a roll, and the old pie and peas / pie and mash madness
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:21, archived)

I call it a cob and have peas and mash with my pies.
Explain THAT with your SCIENCE?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:30, archived)

If there's no such thing as God, how do you explain a barm cake?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:34, archived)

Why is it called a barm cake when it clearly isn't a cake?

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:40, archived)

because people in the north are a bit thick

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

because northern

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

You live in the Midlands AICMFP
Also, does that mean you have a bacon cob?
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:39, archived)

i think you should demonstrate the first few rounds so nobody gets confused

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:22, archived)

I probably would
That's just the kind of generous guy I am.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:26, archived)

sounds like /board in general then

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

until you open the box she is technically neither

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:13, archived)

I'd rather just take the money.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:16, archived)

very wise

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:17, archived)

imgur.com/OjLaStF
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:13, archived)

she was behind 9/11

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:16, archived)

she planned the whole thing with george bush, the lizard people and the royal family

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:20, archived)

Caroline Aherne was a true monster.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:30, archived)

Hilary ClintJEW, amirite?!?!?!

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

absolutely

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:22, archived)

Which was the front of the twin towers then?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:04, archived)

the side with the front door
duh
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:06, archived)

I had a tour of the WTC booked, but we couldn't go up there on the day because of the weather or summat

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

omg lucky escape you could of died

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:14, archived)

I know right
If I'd gone up there, only five short years later I could've been killed. I thank my lucky stars every day, Tangled.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:18, archived)

what if you'd gotten lost and trapped in a air vent, eating bugs to survive
you'd have been toast
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:24, archived)

Jet fuel can't melt my massive bonce, m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:27, archived)

that's true
we've done the experiments
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

At the airkix thing, the guy pulled out an adult sized helmet, looked at my head
and said "Will this...erm...do you think...will this one be ok? We have a larger one"
I didn't take the larger one. I took the one above that :(
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:34, archived)

did you run around showing it to girls and saying 'look at my massive helmet!'

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:48, archived)

no m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:48, archived)

sorry, that was thoughtless
did you SHUFFLE around showing it etc
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:50, archived)

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:52, archived)

~~have been toast~~ know what a TV dinner feels like
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:27, archived)

that too

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:32, archived)

I went on that London underground once and now they have jihadi bombers and that
really makes you think doesn't it
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:38, archived)

we live one day at a time, m8
it can all end at any moment
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:38, archived)

can it?
oh shit
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:55, archived)

i hope not i had a tenner on her being the first female president

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

What price did you get on that?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:30, archived)

dunno, i haven't looked for years, i'm hoping it's a lovely surprise come christmas

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:38, archived)

i've got a tenner on trump winning and being impeached within a year

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:33, archived)

~~'ve got a tenner on trump winning and being im~~ could eat a
~~within a year~~ for hours
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:10, archived)

you forgot this
ed
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:13, archived)

thanks, I dropped it on the way out

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:18, archived)

nah

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:33, archived)

ok, thx

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:34, archived)

#shillary
#hillary4prison2016
#whitebitches
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:34, archived)

#bump4trump

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:56, archived)

sillary binton more like!

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:42, archived)

does pneumonia affect your eyesight or something?
why is she always wearing sunglasses? i bet it's to hide her soulless, robotic eyes
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:46, archived)

I've got a theory that the next generation robot is Taylor Swift.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:49, archived)

Nah, she's a Satanic clone.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:16, archived)

mashable.com/2016/09/10/taylor-swift-satanist-clone-zeena-lavey/
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:18, archived)

woah

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:24, archived)

You can't tell me there isn't something just a little bit sexy about that idea.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:35, archived)

+1 for 8,000,000

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:47, archived)

It's certainly not impossible

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:53, archived)

but then what it?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:56, archived)

we fuck it

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:57, archived)

You wanna edit that so it makes sense.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:59, archived)

I thought about it
and I've decided to leave it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:01, archived)

Well, then I'm leaving you.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:03, archived)

:(
If you love something, let it go. There.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

unless it's a baby and you're holding it over an industrial blender, presumably

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:26, archived)

Depends which baby

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:27, archived)

big show dressed as baby new year

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

He looks pretty heavy

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:32, archived)

did you know that a while back he was given strict instructions not to faux-strangle people for photo ops?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:51, archived)

Yeah, he got sued, I think

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:52, archived)

So now he has to strangle them for real?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:58, archived)

I think he was a bit heavy handed with a sports reporter

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:59, archived)

hey, it worked for andre
media.giphy.com/media/26vUIi0bwQwD1wJpe/giphy.gif

and in the beginning, big show was portrayed as being andre's son
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:06, archived)

I issued a similar diktat to my son only yesterday

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:57, archived)

lol dik

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:57, archived)

Invasion of the Vote-Snatchers.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:04, archived)

She's one of those lizard people.
She's just having a skin shed.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:22, archived)

trips

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:23, archived)

How Ill is she?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:26, archived)

pneumonia can be pretty serious

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

Woah
Post of the Beast
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:28, archived)

yep confirmed
beast hillary = confirmed
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

woah
stupid site
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:32, archived)

beasting it in the pit, more like

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:35, archived)

cor!

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:37, archived)

Mind you, when your husband would rather spunk on a fat girls dress than have sex with you
You need to ask yourself some serious questions
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:39, archived)

he was a proper playa
he just got caught out when Monica blabbed about it
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:42, archived)

Slick Willy, they called him

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

Mister President, actually.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:51, archived)

^only wearing a smile and chanel no 5

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

~~chanel~~ mambo
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:56, archived)

"A Little Bit of Monica"

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:57, archived)

Woah. Mind = blown.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:00, archived)

i'll take the boobs, thanks

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:03, archived)

sexist
I like boobs AND minge
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:25, archived)

cor! minge! eh, readers?

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:31, archived)

disgusting

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:16, archived)

i no

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 16:21, archived)

Pop or slash?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:15, archived)

Guns n Roses solos erry day m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:17, archived)

We did purple aki yesterday

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:19, archived)

There's always time for a bit of Purple Aki.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:22, archived)

I popped a slash in your nan's purple aki.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:35, archived)

vg

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:38, archived)

I watched a 15-minute documentary on Pehrple Aki yesterday.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:30, archived)

Ooh, link?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:38, archived)

Here you go, my good man.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:40, archived)

Ta.
*squeeze*
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:41, archived)

*squats*
*runs away*
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:43, archived)

Neither, electrocution pls.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:19, archived)

BZZZZZZT!

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:22, archived)

nah pop no style

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:30, archived)

^ strictly roots

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:33, archived)

both

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:46, archived)

slop?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:47, archived)

plz

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:48, archived)

Pash.
Isn't that Aussie for "snog"?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:48, archived)

it is
my housemate started saying it for a while. he also got a tattoo of a stickwoman saying 'pash me baby', the fucking idiot
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:05, archived)

He sounds like an utter fucking cunt.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:10, archived)

he's not, generally
he's just a ridiculous man. aaaages ago, a friend of his was training to be a tattoo artist and said he'd tattoo him for free. so he gets a design done (it looks shit, btw) and then because he'd been drinking, he said i should draw something on him and he'd get it tattooed. i drew this: i.imgur.com/4KgubIf.png

it was all very silly but quite endearing. then he started getting other people to do the same and now one of his legs looks like this: i.imgur.com/yUB0W6P.png
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:02, archived)

christ

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:21, archived)

give over m8

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:56, archived)

I'm sorry I don't understand the question

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:59, archived)

Then you get both.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

The flu victims remained untouched until 1951, when a team of scientists dug up the bodies, cracked open four cadavers’ rib cages, scooped out chunks of their lungs, and studied the tissue in a lab. But they were unable to recover the virus and threw out the specimens. Nearly 50 years later, scientists dug up another victim from the same site, this time a better preserved, mostly frozen, obese woman, and successfully extracted viral RNA. In 2005, a team of scientists finally completed the project, sequencing the full genome of the viral RNA. But they still don’t know exactly why it caused the Spanish flu pandemic.
(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

isn't that nice

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

thanks for that vlad
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:02, archived)

wait there's more

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:03, archived)

Possibly the Earth's oldest organisms, crustose yellow-green map lichens (Rhizocarpon geographicum) growing in the Arctic are 8,600 years old.
Both foliose and crustose lichens grow slowly, with foliose lichens adding between 2 and 5 mm per year. Crustose lichens have even slower growth, around 0.5 mm annually.
(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:05, archived)

Purple Aki reference.
He used to live in the same neighbourhood as me.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:15, archived)

Did you scare him away by being a weirdo?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 14:16, archived)

No but he did ask to feel my glutes

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 15:19, archived)

What spin-off show would you give the green light?
I'd have Robot Reparations, where people try to automate construction machinery to see who can build a brick wall the quickest.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:11, archived)

The Great Baked Bake-Off
Contestants compete to create the perfect recipe for pot brownies with bhang, or they just watch late-night TV for hours and eat crisps.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:14, archived)

Gogglebox?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

no, it's just the way i'm standing

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:13, archived)

The Great British Clear Up
Once the bakers have gone home, someone has to tidy up their mess. Contestants compete to clean up the fastest, with the winner getting to eat that weeks showstoppers.

For maximum Grrry outrage, 15 minutes will be devoted to introducing the contestants, 5 minutes to the actual clearing up, and the remaining 40 minutes will be entirety devoted to the deliciousness of cake.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:15, archived)

I've got no problem with taxpayer's money promoting cleanliness and hygiene m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:24, archived)

Yes, that's definitely the focus of this show.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:25, archived)

well yeah, foodwaste is a key issue that needs tackling too

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:28, archived)

If subliminal messages weren't forbidden, I'd have EAT MORE CAKE flashed up in every 50th frame.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:33, archived)

You're the reason the NHS is on its knees m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:34, archived)

there's a game coming out called 'serial cleaner'
and it's about cleaning up crime scenes before the fuzz arrive. that'd make a good telly show, i reckon
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:14, archived)

There's a drama a bit like that.
gb.imdb.com/title/tt3834000/

The two french brothers in it are great, but the guys middle-class family are insipid to the point of cliched tedium and the mobster boss who thinks he's a philosopher is really jarring and all his henchmen look like they came straight out of an amateur production of the krays.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

so there is
i saw it more as a slapstick comedy, to be fair
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

there's a bit of that in there.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

cool. i'll add it to the list

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:23, archived)

Sounds a bit like Viscera Cleanup Detail

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

yer, it looks more like the inverse of hotline miami though

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

In reply to your banana question earlier, yes.
Got distracted by my job.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:46, archived)

+up the bum

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:47, archived)

With successful spinoffs, until the inevitable Serial Cleaner: Cyber, where the whole concept falls to bits.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:20, archived)

haha, 'bits' that's relevant AND it's a word that means genitals!!

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

Oh, you!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:25, archived)

Pro-Celebrity MMA

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

This week: Danny Dyer V Chuck Liddell

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

Russell Kane vs Kane
In a Kage Match.
Kanefabe to be maintained at all times.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

+D

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:24, archived)

haha, combine the two for maximum effect

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:16, archived)

MMA on MDMA: no fighting, just lots of very sweaty, manly hugging.
Brilliant.
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:31, archived)

How is that different from MMA as it is?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YhXNHmHwSQ
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

fuck that, bring back celebrity deathmatch
but make it live action
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:10, archived)

Time Team: Express
Just dig the fucking thing up, already
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

or
Phil Harding Investigates

This week, Phil reports on the Thai Ladyboy prostitution industry
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:18, archived)

They've gaht tits AND a cahck, Tewney

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:19, archived)

"They've 'ad their ballocks lopped off, so that sossidge thar is purely for ritchewel purposes"

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:22, archived)

ha

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:06, archived)

Jet-Set Willy
Willie Thorne visits popular holiday destinations.

/ac
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:20, archived)

Manic Miner
Each week a different bipolar celebrity spends 10 hours in a disused coal mine.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:27, archived)

Treasure Island Dizzee
Popular hip hop artist Dizzee Rascal reads the Robert Louis Stevenson classic
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:29, archived)

Operation Wolf
The former Gladiators star gets the chance to perform surgery. This week, repairing a detached retina.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:30, archived)

Cannon Fodder
Bobby Ball tries cooking different meals to fatten Tommy up a bit
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:32, archived)

Rod Rash
Crooner Rod Stewart tours Europe by motorcycle, and examines the chafing from his leather outfit.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:39, archived)

Sensible Soccer
a game is played and nobody gets raped
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:39, archived)

Marble Madness
Bake Off contestants mix an ever-increasing number of different coloured batters into their cakes, with terrifying results
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:43, archived)

Battlechests
Buxom women go at each other, with their hands tied behind their backs.

If L!veTV were still going, I could have successfully pitched this one.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:48, archived)

BattleToads
same concept as yours, only with clones of that greasy fat bloke from Neighbours
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:55, archived)

Zombies Ate My Neighbors
The popular Aussie soap reaches a grisly climax.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:59, archived)

would DEFINITELY watch that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:05, archived)

Body Melt featured Harold Bishop having his ear chewed off, I think.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:12, archived)

they DID make it
and you DIDN'T watch it, you big liar

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6qh37nDtTw
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:15, archived)

Oh wow
I know what I'm watching later then, I bet it's godawful lol
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:17, archived)

i think it might even be too shit to be godawful

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:18, archived)

Can't be as bad as the Star Wars Holiday Special

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:21, archived)

Airwolf
I dunno, flying lessons or gliding or some shit. You get the idea.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:36, archived)

I sure do, buddy

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:37, archived)

Eldorado: The Return of Marcus Tandy

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:21, archived)

+ -ee-dee-
~~Marcus~~
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:23, archived)

I'd totally watch that
I looov you marcooos
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:24, archived)

And yet EastEnders is allowed to continue.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:26, archived)

Songs of Praise Crimewatch
A glorious celebration of Jesus coupled with a peado sweep of the congregation.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:26, archived)

Especially if the priest opens up with "The reason we are gathered here today is..."
and then exposes each attendant in turn, Columbo style
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:27, archived)

"...just one more thing..."

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:51, archived)

A live-action drunken bakers off.
I reckon if I got some of the biggest lushes on the acting circuit to do a reading of waiting for godot whilst baking a cake it'd pretty much do it.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:29, archived)

trouble is, watching other people be drunk when you're sober is very rarely entertaining
/designated driver
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:31, archived)

This is what I had in mind:
viz.co.uk/drunken-bakers-soon-be-easter-then/
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:35, archived)

I got pissed and made an apple pie from scratch while my missus was out
She came home to me eating the fucker in front of telly, surrounded by empty beer cans.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:36, archived)

Let me guess... 'I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed'.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:39, archived)

She was displeased up until the point I offered her some of the pie

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:40, archived)

Keith Floyd proved this to be a lie.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:40, archived)

^

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:49, archived)

4eva in our tarts :(

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:07, archived)

Dunno

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:32, archived)

+: a sitcom set in a home for the terminally forgetful

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:17, archived)

Nutty Professor 2: The Flumps.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:50, archived)

Tipping Point 15 to 1
Question on Tipping Point (the shittest gameshow ever) replaced with questions from 15 to 1.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:53, archived)

i've just discovered my local burger king will deliver to me, i've got to try that, anyone given it a go?

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:56, archived)

Apparently they don't deliver in this area
I have to say, I'm slightly relieved
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:59, archived)

^ little bit of wee came out

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:02, archived)

oh you

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:05, archived)

You can probably get some kid on a bike to deliver it to you via deliveroo.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:03, archived)

oh, don't say that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:04, archived)

You're better off going via justeat and getting a crap burger and a donner meat calzone from a local kebab shop though.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:08, archived)

i've had the flyer saying they will (i don't live in the shit bit of pompey like two hats)
but haven't taken the plunge yet
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:13, archived)

14 quid minimum order, might wait till the weekend

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

I suppose they specifically target the posher areas

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:20, archived)

well of course. these burgers are fit for a king!
oh shit, i want a burger now. i'm wearing my burger socks and everything
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:23, archived)

Batman's Returns
Alfred and Lucius spend their free time dealing with all the excess equipment that Bruce Wayne orders through Wayne Enterprises.
Jim Parsons guest stars as Bruce.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:25, archived)

Bank Holiday Bonnets and Big Houses Bonanza
spin-off of every costume drama ever, minced into one unending stream of full-skirted primly pronounced bone-shatteringly dull output set in a range of national trust properties that long to be left alone to die, and extruded into every bank holiday like a flavourless heritage sausage
(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:53, archived)

Can't we just watch a Bond film?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:56, archived)

I can't stand the new bond films , too long and not funny

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:04, archived)

Yes, the Casino Royale remake didn't really capture the spirit of the original.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:07, archived)

My boy loved the last one, I was bored senseless

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

I enjoyed it, but the story was terrible and the ending was rubbish.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:32, archived)

I'd have thought period dramas would be right up your street vlad

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 12:57, archived)

because?

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:05, archived)

I dunno, I figured since you liked musicals then other blobbing-bird pastimes might also appeal

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:17, archived)

morning²
get your plastic five quids everybody!
unlimited stock!
they're basically free!

unless you've handled polymer fiber money before, it may at first be a curious thing to hold in your hands.
curiosity and criticism will inhabit you.
you will eventually get used to them, no worries.

still a bit strange tho.
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:42, archived)

This is a travesty.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:43, archived)

when the feeling's gone and you can't go on?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:44, archived)

What are you on about now?
Also, who did you think enron Hubbard was? Not sHamble or frank
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:52, archived)

I suspected maldbonkey
he was the only one who insisted on calling me Gary
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:55, archived)

But he's dead

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:59, archived)

bullshit

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:00, archived)

wait it was bm? I miss bm

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:42, archived)

i don't think it was
and i don't
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:46, archived)

well today's certainly gotten off to a good start for me

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:54, archived)

does this help?
www.factmag.com/2016/09/12/fans-elect-black-metal-legend-fenriz-to-town-council-darkthrone/
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:56, archived)

that's cheered me right up

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:04, archived)

oh, that's a shame
i preferred it when you were apoplectic about what they watch on telly in a different country
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

Brilliant news.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:06, archived)

both the pictures are ace
i'd vote for him
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

I can't decide....real life, or marketing? real life, or marketing? real life, or marketing?

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

wait, you mean marketing isn't real life?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:09, archived)

well now you've made me stop and think

(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:15, archived)

it's very low stakes, either way
how much power can a town councillor in kolbotn, oslo really wield?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:09, archived)

Wait, here's one....Where is Oslo? Norway, no m8
It's in the middle of CzechOSLOvakia!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:11, archived)

Doesn't exist anymore, sorry for the bad news

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:12, archived)

And that's why they moved it to Norway
do try to keep up, Mongy
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:13, archived)

But the slo stayed with vakia

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:14, archived)

They sure did

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:17, archived)

...woah

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:12, archived)

haha not like here, which is in the country of czechosloWAKKIER !!!
(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:13, archived)

WAKIstan more like!
jajajajaja
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:18, archived)

it can wield the power to make us all smile
(

vladimir, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:14, archived)

I very much doubt that

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:20, archived)

is it some sort of collaboration with 'mellow birds'?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:55, archived)

lol
Darkthrone are fucking awesome too
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:20, archived)

I've not listened to the last few albums. Are they still as good as they were?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:21, archived)

Not a clue, probably?
But in general when I stick them on and leave it to play through it all sounds good, if indistinguishable
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:43, archived)

I'm buying as many as I can

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:46, archived)

they're absolutely for free m8!
that's what the government says, don't you trust your elected (errect, lol) officials??! what has this world come to?
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:49, archived)

If I saw you being a flid, I would not call you a quid
I respect you and quids
Don't use quid as an insult!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:54, archived)

currency is innocent, don't be monetist
never use the name of a currency as an insult for a human!
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:03, archived)

And I never will, Penny!
Alright?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:04, archived)

^mark
yeah, i'm good enough ta. you?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:46, archived)

Yeah, alright
My lazy fucking sister text me earlier asking if she can come over. I asked her when she was coming and she said "not anytime soon, still in my pj's"
I called her a lazy cunt. She doesn't care.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:50, archived)

nice
tell her to come over then just don't get out of the chair to answer the door
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:56, archived)

haha
The window's open, so she should be able to hear me shout. She's dropping off the boys' birthday present, so that would really piss her off.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:57, archived)

fishing rod out the window
with a post it that says 'attach present here'
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:59, archived)

^ corporate shilling for the IMF

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:05, archived)

Unbelievable!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:07, archived)

I only just got this joke :(

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:36, archived)

Get you future boy
I'm notorious for putting money through the wash, so this is like some type of dunce fix aimed at me.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:57, archived)

As below, people seem upset about bake off.
However, I was concerned about the F1 coverage and they've done a pretty good job of that all told, so it might not be a complete disaster.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:01, archived)

Bake Off has pretty much run it's course.
Reckon 4 will make a profit out of it, but it won't have the national impact that it used to.

I thought the F1 went to Sky?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:04, archived)

Well, full coverage went to sky a while back, but bbc had half races live and half as highlights shows.
It was pretty good considering, then c4 took over the half and half coverage as of this year. Goes to sky exclusive in 2019.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:06, archived)

Went to Sky a couple of seasons ago (I think?), but the BBC sold their broadcast rights to Channel 4 before the start of the current season

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:06, archived)

I don't care WHO makes
I just care who's ON it. If they replace Mel & Sue with James Martin and Dara O'Brien, I'm switching off
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:05, archived)

the good news is that C4 will be kicking things off with a celebrity version
celebrities make all telly better
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:07, archived)

yes! can't wait

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:08, archived)

BBC do that every time there's a charity event on.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:09, archived)

yesssssss
*punches air*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:09, archived)

and don't forget that one appearance on a reality tv programme qualifies you as a celebrity, so you can appear on celebrity versions of other reality tv programmes

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:17, archived)

I got interviewed by BBC oxford about noise from a metal pub once and then again a week later about drugs and then again s few years later about the Olympics being sponsored by coke.
So I'm guessing I'll do one IACGMOOH then I'll get my own noisy/drug/soft drink panel show crossover of Mastermind?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:20, archived)

I'd watch that

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:23, archived)

IBYWYDOB

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:32, archived)

Sue Perkins is one of the most punchable women on TV

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:08, archived)

^triggered

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:11, archived)

Well, she has cancer, now,
so you can take comfort in that.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:12, archived)

I quite fancy her a bit.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:17, archived)

I always suspected you were a lesbian

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:18, archived)

~~suspected~~ wished
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:22, archived)

It's going to be Russell Kane and a female youtube star

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:08, archived)

A change in any of the presenters/judges will kill it.
CBBC have Junior Bake Off, but it's only the tent that carries over from the real show, so it all feels incredibly wrong.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:08, archived)

I dunno, robot wars was alright, and I thought dara was a prick.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:14, archived)

I'd have enjoyed Robot Wars a lot more if they'd brought back the original presenters.
Still, I suppose Philippa Forrester is nothing against the raw, sexual magnetism of Dara, so I can see why they switched.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:19, archived)

What fucking knob head lister?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:33, archived)

Yeah, him.
A softly spoken man in a suit has no business standing on the Robot Wars arena.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:36, archived)

Have you tried listening to his funk and soul show?
He plays some good tunes but he's a complete wanker.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:40, archived)

Yeah, I have, and I quite like it.
His brief forays into the breakfast slot are always more bearable than Shaun Keaveny, too.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:47, archived)

Fair, I don't like Keaveny much, but I find lister irritating
I wonder if he was asked to go back to robot wars and not.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:04, archived)

I quite like Keaveny because he's quite dour and that's preferable to a chirpy wanker in the the mornings.
However Nemone seems to be better than both Keaveny and Lauren Laverne and deserves a prime-time slot because her tune selection is excellent.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:29, archived)

Nemone is the best stand in for any daytime moment on 6music
Every network has one, Zoe Ball for R2, Phil Williams on 5Live.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:37, archived)

^ this, although I couldn't care less about Cake Makey Competition Show

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:05, archived)

I'm genuinely angry that a show like Bake Off exists in the first place
so I'm glad that licence payers' money isn't being used to prop up such asinine bollocks
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:07, archived)

I write a letter to Tony Hall every time I see anything anywhere in the BBC's output that doesn't inform, educate and entertain me

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:10, archived)

Grrrmachine writes a letter everytime anything vaguely entertaining comes onto the screen
And by write I mean "build" and by letter I mean "lego train track"
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:13, archived)

still can't believe that BBC2 haven't picked up his commentary on lego trains for broadcast

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:16, archived)

Doesn't BBC4 exist for the likes of him?
Mind, he'll never be able to see it, thanks to the new "I have a TV license" box that pops up on the iPlayer.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:16, archived)

ll rt
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:29, archived)

technically they are more 'bits of dry pasta stuck to a sheet of paper and painted' than a traditional letter

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:31, archived)

run the whole gamut of Crayola colours m4x2

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:37, archived)

More of a Strictly man, eh?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:10, archived)

oh you went there

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:31, archived)

ed balls is on it this year
ed. balls.
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:01, archived)

I'll watch it when YOU'RE on it, and not before

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:05, archived)

they can't have people of his size on telly
it doesn't look right
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

Jesus, imagine that on 50" ultra HD

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:12, archived)

4K or nuffin, ma8e

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:13, archived)

I saw 8K footage of the Olympics on Friday.
To put that into perspective, you could zoom over 400% and still have a 1080 HD picture.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:39, archived)

How delightgully pointless

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:43, archived)

It really looked beautiful
But it will not make it to the home. BTW, if you know anyone who buys a 4k tv that is under 40 inches call them mugs.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:46, archived)

4K does look brilliant
but is it necessary? I mean, regular HD is pretty bloody good.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:00, archived)

It's rare regular HD is shown at its best.
Amazon and Netflix have some pretty fancy compression now that looks good but even that doesn't stand up to bluray.

Both sky and freeview have ramped up their compression so it looks crap in order to squeeze in more channels.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:01, archived)

none of these modern developments were necessary
you just don't get the same warmth that you did with an analogue signal received via CRT
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:06, archived)

Film grain is definitely nicer to look at than digital noise.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:10, archived)

I'd call anyone who buys a 4k telly at the moment a mug because there's fuck all content worth watching shot in 4k.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:00, archived)

BT and Sky will be changing that in the next year wider than just sport
And Netflix and Amazon originals are available now. So there is some.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:13, archived)

Most of the stuff I've seen people excited about so far might look nice but has been of little merit.
Like new avatars and the like. I'm sure it looks ok but it's basically just riding on the gimmick of the technology.

I'd rather watch another classic noir.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

i.imgur.com/q6q7w.gif
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:12, archived)

And they say that people don't take Big Show seriously anymore

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:13, archived)

i don't know what you mean
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:14, archived)

20 heel/face turns apparently
20
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:19, archived)

Is he wearing a nappy?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:20, archived)

yes, he's 'baby new year'
*shrug*
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:32, archived)

Typical BBC pandering to blobbing birds and queers innit

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:13, archived)

^tggi

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:28, archived)

It's great watching Paul Hollywood leer over the female contestants
especially the younger ones
(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:13, archived)

So you are angry at the most gentle programme ever?
I've actually watched it and baked recipes they have done afterwards. What part of that isn't informing, educating, and entertaining? Also, don't mess with an audience of 8 million + who own spatulas.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:19, archived)

I've only watched the last 2 seasons, it's a lot more interesting than I thought it would be.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:21, archived)

i'm the same

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:01, archived)

Don't listen to him, he's a mean old grumpy pants

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:23, archived)

^ Bake Off is lovely,
but it's not like it's suddenly ceased to exist, just transferred to our other public service broadcaster.
The BBC is at it's best when trying out new ideas, so hopefully this (along with the death of Top Gear) will spur it on to find the next big thing, and remind everyone why it would be such a bad thing if the government were allowed to strangle it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:26, archived)

I actually agree with this
there
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:41, archived)

Indeed and indeed
But it will just shed 2 million viewers at least by the move. I've read research papers about it, its down to lack of awareness of the change (some people will forget to tune in) and some people just don't watch Channel 4. All very odd.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:44, archived)

I agree.
I doubt my family and I will follow it over to 4.
With any luck, the demise of Bake Off will take the copycat sewing, hairdressing and pottery ideas with it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:52, archived)

If they lose the pottery one I'll be hurt as that was brilliant
The sewing one was also a decent watch.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:38, archived)

I'm beginning to think you might be a cretin

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:40, archived)

If its cretinous to enjoy watching people create stuff from scratch
Then colour me it big time
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:49, archived)

I'm angry that in a nation where the health service is crippled by obesity-related illnesses,
admist a furore over the value of the licence fee, and the dumbing down of national television output, the most popular show in the UK is a reality programme about baking fucking cakes.

The more I think about it, the more I come to realise that a government forcing punters to hand over hundreds of pounds to watch a load of no-marks baking victoria sponges as part of a competition epitomises everything that's wrong with Britain today.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:35, archived)

Rising obesity and an underfunded NHS are things worth getting upset about.
The license fee and a programme encouraging creativity and an interest in what you're eating, not so much.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:39, archived)

It's not underfunded, it's ineptly managed

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:40, archived)

6 of one and half a dozen of the other.
Much of what NHS England does is incompetence, rather than active malice, but it's a fact that hospitals are being asked to deliver more care without the necessary increase in funding.

Spoken as a middle manager within, so I'm probably part of the problem.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:01, archived)

yeah, an interest as long as it's based on eggs, butter and sugar
I can't help thinking that if the government regulates the broadcaster, has power over the station head and levies a tax on all viewers, then it correspondingly has a duty to prevent shows that exacerbate the already endemic issue of Britain eating itself to death, that's all.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:46, archived)

You were a fat kid, weren't you?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:11, archived)

you must be joking m8
I grew up so poor I licked the salt off the neighbour's slugs :(
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:14, archived)

"I'm Grry, I think everything's shit because I'm a joyless funsponge"

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:29, archived)

I criticise one show
How does that equate to everything?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:33, archived)

lol
www.b3ta.com/search/posts/35579?q=%22is+shit%22
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:39, archived)

The prosecution rests, your honour

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:40, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7783991
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:44, archived)

tl;dr: hip hop, rap, disco, raggae, radio, christmas, the present
but not tits
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:41, archived)

haha, 'genuinely angry'
you fucking spanner
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:58, archived)

It'll be the same programme essentially
Just with 12 minutes taken out. Also there will be a billion spin offs from it airing throughout the year. Channel 4 have to make the £25m a year back somehow and that is going to be derivatives of the main programme over and over.

To put it into context, ITV charge £120,000 for 30 second ad in X Factor, Bake Off will not get X Factor numbers on Channel 4. To make Bake Off pay, they will need to charge just under that for top brands and hope the rest can be made back through sponsorship.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:26, archived)

For my money, the nice thing about Bake Off, Robot Wars, Doctor Who, and such being on BBC is their availability on iPlayer.
All are good family viewing, but it's not always three case that the whole family can watch at the allotted time, so shifting back a day or two is prefect.
4 does have an on demand service, it's true, but iPlayer is "baked in" to many more devices than theirs is (even if the BBC do seem determined to stop it working on any device more than about 5 years old).
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:34, archived)

Only problem I have with All4 us it takes a long time to get stuff up.
With I player you can rewind live, so if you miss the start by 10 minutes you can put it on and rewind.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:37, archived)

I haven't used 4OD (as it then was) since trying to catch up on an episode of Misfits, years ago.
The nice thing about the iPlayer is that it just works, with no need to FAFF about setting it up, and it's come bundled with every "smart" TV device I've had.
It looks like All4 might have grown into a good service but I've long since lost my password, and there's been nothing on recently that would motivate me to bother getting a new one.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:46, archived)

It's nowhere near as good as I player still,
I don't know enough about tech stuff, but I find it odd thst other services haven't caught up. Surely the hard bit is doing it the first time, then everyone else can copy it surely?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:48, archived)

YouView was supposed to sort that out.
That went well. /sarcasm
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:16, archived)

That is more of a rights issue
ie All4 doesn't look so bad with content, but when large chunks of a schedule are unavailable because it is American contracts that don't cover on demand, then it looks shite.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:41, archived)

I'll give you the short answer
No, as they built proprietary systems which 6 months later were out of date. The Beebs spec for iPlayer front end is simpler for them to deliver (the back end with making multiple formats of same programme, and switching between them when you buffer is the magic.) 4OD and ITV Player need a version which slots stuff in at various points (promos, ads) which cause a bit more of a technical headache in the player window as it needs to do thinking about how you skip through viewing it.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:33, archived)

I guessed it might be to do with adverts and so forth.
4od when it first appeared was terrible if you had any sort if connection problems during the ads.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:42, archived)

Last time I tried to use that it wanted to play me 9 minutes of advert and I could torrent a HD copy of the file in that time so that's what I did.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:31, archived)

^
This cartoon must be knocking on a bit, now, but it's no less true.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:11, archived)

The iPlayer is a marvel which not only saved the BBC, but dragged tv viewing into the 21st century
Again, BBC R&D saving the corporation from oblivion.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:39, archived)

They probably offered the 1% pay rise the staff are getting

(

fuscous, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 13:22, archived)

Your nan thought my polymer fiber was a curious thing to hold in her hands.
Belated morning.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:59, archived)

We've had plastic blueys up in Scotland for a while.
I have no opinion on them.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:59, archived)

have we?
i've not encountered one yet. i got a plastic N.I. fiver in my change years ago, it had a picture of a space shuttle on it. i might still have it somewhere...
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

dunno

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:07, archived)

Might be a bit scrapey tucked in the g string

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:15, archived)

mods, plz sticky this thread, thx

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:17, archived)

I've sent manolith a "mobile phone text message"
I hope he gets it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:25, archived)

if this Short Message Service takes off it is going to revolutionise mobile communications

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:30, archived)

As long as people like you and me keep using it, it'll take the world by storm

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:43, archived)

don't get your hopes up
he's not very quick on the uptake
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:30, archived)

If ever there was a thing that could distract the boy
it's a small device vibrating in his pocket
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:43, archived)

morbotron.com/gif/S05E03/191057/192509.gif?b64lines=Tm8sIEknbS4uLgogZG9lc24ndC4=
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:18, archived)

when did you change your name to PPI CLAIMS?

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:07, archived)

Thursday

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:12, archived)

as part of some zany scheme, i suppose

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:15, archived)

It's a tax dodge
but keep it under your hat.

FYI, keeping things under my hat is also a tax dodge I'm working on.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:17, archived)

i don't have any hats except that insulting one from you
i'll just cram it into my hair, ok?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:19, archived)

I'll have to crunch the numbers, but that'll probably work

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:24, archived)

disgusting

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 10:30, archived)

in b4 $$ for the bottom get

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 11:01, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 6:55, archived)

morning Grrrmachine

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 6:56, archived)

alright spanishfly
what are your tasks for today?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:00, archived)

Breakfast. Metasploit basics. Hacking UNIX application servers. Password cracking (John the ripper) and then a bit of SSLscan and heart bleed.
You?
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:42, archived)

might have a wank and a grapefruit

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:44, archived)

At the same time I hope.
It's the only way to enjoy grapefruit
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:47, archived)

How do mosca española

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:29, archived)

Alright pencil.

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:42, archived)

Howdy do Grrry and the board

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:09, archived)

you make it sound like some rockabilly band m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:09, archived)

You mean it isn't?
So I spent 7 years learning the jaw harp for nothing?
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:28, archived)

typical jew

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:28, archived)

*twong twangs*

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:29, archived)

You are an incredibly sensitive man, who inspires joy-joy feelings in all those around you.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:27, archived)

Orite drimble
Fuck a horse or something to that effect
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:28, archived)

Bit early for that m9

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:38, archived)

that's worryingly accurate

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:30, archived)

When I arrive I'm causing a heatwave

(

mongychops, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 7:52, archived)

Careful m8, it's going to be warm enough today

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:29, archived)

THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!!
B. A. N. A. N. A. S!!

But seriously, if I have to type the word banana I have to sing the song to make sure I get it right. It's pretty pathetic for a man my age.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:23, archived)

what's the banana song?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:25, archived)

ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,
BANANA PHONE!
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:28, archived)

You hear it too

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

Was that a subtle reference
to long out of the game David Teatro's seminal work 'BANANA PHONE?'
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:50, archived)

Jesus grandad
Even I know that one
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:29, archived)

He's a right old cunt.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:33, archived)

I wish I knew a song about bananas
I wish I'd been to Ghana
I wish I had a girl who looked good and called Anna
I wish I had a cabin or a house or a shack
on a ranch in Montana
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:36, archived)

This is awful

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:37, archived)

my heart's not really in it to be honest with you

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:38, archived)

Look, you're not going to like it. If you want to know, it's about 2 and a half minutes in.
youtu.be/gZHjRQjbHrE
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:37, archived)

you were right
that entire song is an atrocity
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:39, archived)

But, it does have a catchy way to remember how to spell bananas. So it gets a pass from me.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:42, archived)

That's not the theme song from The Banana Splits.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 9:00, archived)

yo G

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:29, archived)

whaddup T-dawg

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:39, archived)

good morning and salutations to you all

(

$$ ✅, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:29, archived)

*salute and heel-click*

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:39, archived)

Ahoy hoy
Shame about Bake Off going to C4, have a read of this -

"It is understood that the BBC offered about £15m to keep Bake Off and that the deal included paying for spinoff shows such as Extra Slice, but Love Productions, believed its value was above £20m. Sources say that, including sponsorship deals, the transfer to Channel 4 could be worth around £25m. Insiders at Love Productions say it rejected a higher offer from another unnamed broadcaster."

£25m for a reality tv programme they will need to chop 14 minutes of out.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 8:55, archived)

woo hoo! scored my first ignore!
the first i've noticed, anyways. got me thinking about mad, trident and whether or not you would push the big red button or not. at what point does a deterrent become a weapon? discuss.
(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 22:31, archived)

The point at which you pick up the bottle in a rage while you're supposed to be doing the dishes with your annoying sibling and squirt it at them in a big green jet,
oh ahahahahah!
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 22:38, archived)

fairy good

(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 23:00, archived)

Ariely like that

(

broadsword w⚓, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 23:47, archived)

you are being ignored by 3 people
hth
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 0:14, archived)

:(

(

artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 0:16, archived)

That's nothing, what a n zero zero b

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 13 Sep 2016, 0:24, archived)

Evening /talk
I hope you're all well.

What series are you bingeing at the moment? I'm going through Louie at present, it really gets better after season 3 once they got rid of that minging intro song.

Wayward Pines was interesting (good to see that fuckwit from Entourage getting some decent work), really Lynchian, until they jumped twelve sharks in the last episode of the first season, then did a True Detective on it for season two. Ugh.
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:48, archived)

Yeah, well, to answer your question I'm watching Rick and Morty, it's quite funny
As for everything else you typed, I don't know any of those shows.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:48, archived)

R&M is genius

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:50, archived)

I watched that stranger things as well, was pretty good
Bit tropey, but it worked I reckon, with the tone.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:53, archived)

I dunno about Stranger Things
I watched the first episode, but wasn't particularly grabbed. It gets better I take it?
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:58, archived)

Stranger Things works by having believeable characters in a familiar landscape
rather than the festering overblown shittery that counts for 99% of TV shows these days
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:35, archived)

I enjoyed it a lot.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:40, archived)

same here
YOU SEE??!?! I can enjoy things like normal people do!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:45, archived)

though Grrr can hide his cold gaze and you can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense your lifestyles are probably comparable: he simply is not there
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:47, archived)

Alright Gary, I'll give it another shot.
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:51, archived)

only one person on here ever called me Gary
your mask is slipping
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:54, archived)

They're coming to get you, Gary.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:58, archived)

tinyurl.com/zlevz4y
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:13, archived)

There are only two people who are persistent enough to come back; given there haven't been any accusations of noncery and it's not a new account I can rule one of them out.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:04, archived)

I am neither of those two, if that helps
Wanky wank wank
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:10, archived)

Please don't throw sand in his eyes.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:15, archived)

oh god, not you again

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:17, archived)

If it helps, I'm not Frank

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:30, archived)

that much should be blindly obvious
you're forming coherent sentences
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:40, archived)

and haven't started five new threads in the last 20 mins

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 22:11, archived)

I dunno about genius, bits of it are brilliantly funny, but there has been a couple of episodes thst sort of seem wacky for the sake of wacky.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:55, archived)

^^

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:35, archived)

tl;dr
alright
(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:49, archived)

Alright

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:50, archived)

Mate of mine reckons he bought a vintage oyster royal for 1200 quid,
Does that sound right or has the mug bought a fake? Looked pretty legit.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:53, archived)

Sounds about right , you can get them a bit cheaper, it's fairly common and not sort after

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:55, archived)

Fair, I thought vintage rolexes were top dollar.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:58, archived)

Certain ones , they made loads of them, just post war too, if it's got some paperwork that'll make it worth more , and I'd need a pic to be sure

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:01, archived)

^angling for some new wanking material

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 22:15, archived)

probably star trek tos next
"toss" more like!!!!
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:55, archived)

spoiler: kirk dies after the end

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:56, archived)

spoiler: spock dies before kirk

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:57, archived)

My dad was in to voyager and next generation, I've seen quite a bit of it when I was still living with him,
It's not a bad show, but I can't see how it seems to have such incredibly bonkers fans for what is basically a soap opera/drama with the odd laser bit and maybe a fight.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:57, archived)

sci-fi lite for people who can't be arsed to read

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:58, archived)

I liked tng at the time, never saw any dsn or voyager

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:59, archived)

Troi used to make my willy feel funny.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:05, archived)

Outrageous.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:19, archived)

Voyager is shit
Do a bit of DS9
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:59, archived)

and anything with simon pegg in can get fucked

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:00, archived)

Yes

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:16, archived)

Vice Principals and Series 5 of spiral.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:02, archived)

I wanted something with spaceships and explosions
but I can't stand the cloying do-goodery of Star Trek. I recently managed a few episodes of The Expanse, so hopefully that'll work out alright.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:34, archived)

Firefly maybe.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:41, archived)

nah fuck off
I watched the film and wanted to punch every single one of them
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:45, archived)

No
Was forced to watch the 'feature-length'* opener a couple of years ago.

It was a mercy I had a drink or two, Joss Whedon went full self-suck on that one.

* Top tip: if your pilot has to be two fucking hours long, your story is probably over-wrought unmemorable shite. I'd rather watch Voyager.
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:55, archived)

Double-length pilots aren't that unusual.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:57, archived)

That's what yr nan said about by dick m8
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:02, archived)

Hit it with a rake did she?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:05, archived)

My name isn't William

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:11, archived)

I don't do "binge watching", so it takes me ages to get through anything.
I did watch the last two episodes of Fargo, back to back, but the ending wasn't very good, so I regretted it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:38, archived)

Isn't the TV show the same as the film? What's the point?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:42, archived)

Different characters and different stories, although series 1 has much in common with the film.
Good series, though. The second one, less so - rather than having an ending, it just sort of ran out, then they shoe-horned in a clumsy call-back to series one that didn't really make a lot of sense (not to mention the whole UFO thing, which was just weird for the sake of weird). Finding out that Kirsten Dust can act was a pleasant surprise, though. I'll give the next series a chance, if they make one.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:57, archived)

~~inge~~ um
tc s
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 22:44, archived)

Seeing as mcbeef isn't around I can admit I rather enjoyed The Get Down without being shouted at.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:43, archived)

you have to remember that McBeef really hates music
and buys every shitty little 7" imaginable to keep prices artificially inflated so that other idiots have to pay more for them. It's the only possible explanation for the sort of things he listens to.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:46, archived)

Nah.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:49, archived)

This is a journey into sound.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7cXWrdHshE
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:50, archived)

I do like me some coldcut.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:55, archived)

Speaking of music
I kinda liked Vinyl with thingy, the psycho from Boardwalk Empire, Bob Cannevale, that's his name. It started strong, then went limp. Now I kinda just wanna get the last couple of episodes over and done with.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MY SEX LIFE LOL
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 20:59, archived)

I watched the first 3. All the drug taking and fucking was just surface noise really; fuck all going on behind it.
I quite like Halt and Catch Fire. That's an alright period drama.

As was Deutschland 83.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:01, archived)

Thing is
The overall premise is what interested me, the analogues to real bands like Television and the birth of hip hop and the Runaways and all those guys who were fucking ace. Then fuckin Gyp Rosetti makes a scene all the time going LOLDRUGS, and it's like, fuck's sake Scorcese, I thought you knew how to hire good scriptwriters, the fuck dude?
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:09, archived)

Hubbers

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:07, archived)

The Esses of the Esses mate

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:13, archived)

watching broad city at the moment
it's pretty good. not for everyone, i'd guess
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:08, archived)

I didn't mind that
really disappointed with the Hillary cameo episode though
(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:09, archived)

how so?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 22:45, archived)

Star Trek TNG
Just started season 3, when it really found its feet and started getting amazing
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:26, archived)

TNG mate

(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:31, archived)

Lad
TNG
Fucking TNG LAD!
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:32, archived)

Whaaaaay TNG!
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 21:41, archived)

Good afternoon folks! Have you got any holidays booked?
I heard David Cameron is off to Australia for 2 weeks in the jungle.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:23, archived)

yes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:25, archived)

Just came back from Tenerife last week, I've decided my next holiday is somewhere cold
But that won't be until next year at the earliest
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:27, archived)

Las Americas?
Edit: If you want cold go to Scotland.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:30, archived)

Aye, knee deep in tourist land - decent food and beer and gorgeous weather, but if you want culture you can get to fuck
Scotland's not a bad shout actually, be a lot cheaper than going somewhere like Scandinavia, I was considering Denmark as well
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:34, archived)

yeah i'm not giving out that sort of information online incase i get robbed

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:30, archived)

^ moving to A wing

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:34, archived)

finland at the end of october

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:31, archived)

I fancy a cruise around there

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:34, archived)

kennethwilliams.jpg

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:43, archived)

Whereabouts?

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:35, archived)

Finland. Can't you read?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:37, archived)

Wait...if you can't read, you won't be able to read what I posted
Hmm...how do we deal with this?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:38, archived)

if it's like speaking to a dago use capslock

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:39, archived)

QUE?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:33, archived)

DO YOU SPEAKA LE ENGLISH

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:37, archived)

kuopio
it's for an old housemate's wedding
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:51, archived)

Looks like a nice place

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:58, archived)

Really? I didn't know that
If I bump into you at gatwick, I'd prefer it if you act like we don't know each other
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:36, archived)

i'll probably have to fly from somewhere shitter than gatwick, to be fair

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:51, archived)

I hope he gets bitten by some poisonous beastie.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:32, archived)

I hope he eats a poisonous beastie

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:36, archived)

I hope he gets microfish up the japseye

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:44, archived)

He's going to Australia, not the local library.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

*fingers guns*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

:D

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:48, archived)

~~sh up the~~ che of his
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

i hope he tries to stick his nob in a wild boar

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:52, archived)

These romans are crazy

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:00, archived)

Wild? It'll be furious... hahahahaha

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:28, archived)

i'm too brexit for my shirt

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:56, archived)

yes

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:59, archived)

i.imgur.com/OjLaStF.gif
(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:01, archived)

That's exactly what happened to me when I had pnuemonia

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:01, archived)

Fucking hell
www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/celebrity/jailed-agadoo-singer-says-he-survived-jail-by-leading-60-man-conga-lines-around-prison-yard/ar-AAiNb1y?li=BBoPJKU&ocid=mailsignout
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:03, archived)

vigorously bumming 60 men more like!

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:05, archived)

To the left, to the right, jump up and down
and to the knees
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:06, archived)

sounds like fun

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:06, archived)

59 out of 60 prisoners enjoy gang rape

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:07, archived)

alright Jimmy Carr

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:17, archived)

Alright

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 18:01, archived)

Oh ffs, "He also hopes to star in a forthcoming series of Celebrity Big Brother," is that still a thing?

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:09, archived)

Apparently so
Although the term "celebrity" seems to be used in its broadest sense.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 17:13, archived)

happy birthday paul walker
I hope u r going 2 get smashed 2nite
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 18:07, archived)

we should call him Paul Turbo or Paul Car as he liked cars

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 18:17, archived)

My mate Barry Sausage is named from a similar penchant.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 18:31, archived)

I don't do summer holidays
Gonna come back to the UK next May though
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 18:44, archived)

Oh shit
Whereabouts?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 18:52, archived)

nah m8, I'm not a fan of chain pubs
a ha ha ha
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:03, archived)

Think they've mentioned opening in Poland due to the fact many poles have got used to a spoons

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:05, archived)

fair play to them
a chain pub is better than no pub, which is what's on offer at the moment.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:13, archived)

Where do poles go on the smash then? They clearly do go on the smash.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:25, archived)

You buy copious amounts of booze and drink in your own flat with or without company
The proper soaks buy a 100ml bottle of vodka and/or a few tins, and down them in the park between leaving work and arriving home.

Of course big cities have bars, but there's no concept of a communal "local" where Ted Danson and Kirstie Allie know what your usual is.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:28, archived)

How do they all meet each other and that then?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:35, archived)

no dating or sex, young poles are made in a factory

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:40, archived)

Football

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:40, archived)

Oi, that rum arrived, it's nice. Ta.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:38, archived)

I look forward to the hostile scathing review from a man just turned 30 who hasn't lived here for years , always an interesting reeeezzzzzzzzdb

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:01, archived)

stop subscribing to my newsletter then, dipstick

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:02, archived)

Lego is shit

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:03, archived)

^ only had Playmobil as a kid

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:13, archived)

I had bricks and cement, if your gonna build saink make it a 9inch pier for the front wall

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:16, archived)

I had the same until my mum went mental cos builder's sand turned my adidas yellow

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:19, archived)

My dad once decided that I HAD to mix half a tonne if cement for him at 10am when I was a hungover teenager.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:27, archived)

what's half a tonne, three mixers' worth?
That's fuck-all.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:28, archived)

By hand, with a shovel.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:36, archived)

I used to enjoy cleaning the mixer, couple of house bricks rattling around and me troweling the muck out, no wonder my skins fucked on my hands

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:48, archived)

I got lime burns at about 7, too much too young

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:30, archived)

not lime, but builder's acid
my dad popped open the bottle and laughingly told me to sniff it. Once doctor's visit later...
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:34, archived)

Probably some brick cleaner, that stuff burnt from the smell

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:41, archived)

Cyprus with my wife, baby, parents and mother in Law in October. Should be one crazy week.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 19:51, archived)

I was going to ask a question, but it's gone now
If I remember it, I'll post it later on, thx x
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:31, archived)

Cool story bro

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:36, archived)

How many of these have you seen?
www.bbc.com/culture/story/20160822-the-21st-centurys-25-greatest-films?ocid=fbculertk&kwp_0=215388&kwp_4=826384&kwp_1=410516

How many of them do you massively disagree with?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:36, archived)

20/25
Pan's Labyrinth was alright, nothing amazing. Two great Philip Seymour Hoffman films in that list.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:39, archived)

I find A Social Network and Inherent Vice both to be odd choices.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:41, archived)

As they are not on that list?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:43, archived)

My bad, they're in the top ton
www.bbc.com/culture/story/20160819-the-21st-centurys-100-greatest-films
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

42 then :D
And Inherent Vice is rubbish. Also Almost Famous and Zero Dark Thirty can bore off too.

Social Network is good, but Zodiac is a billion times better
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:52, archived)

that list adds 1 to my 3 from the shorter list

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:57, archived)

Batman
It was Batman wasn't it
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:58, archived)

n

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:00, archived)

33

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:58, archived)

I was going to say Dark City is another good one of his but then remembered it was Suvvers in that.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:50, archived)

He was an awesome actor
And I miss him :(
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:55, archived)

4/25, it'd be a bit higher but I'm being strict and only going with films I've seen all the way through
And I can't really say if I disagree with any of the others, as I haven't seen them.
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:44, archived)

I disagree with everything I haven't seen
based on the reasoning that if it was any good, I would have seen it already
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:48, archived)

well, i can assure you that the seminal work 'your nan's clopper' is great

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:50, archived)

Ah, a vaginal tour de force
It did well at Cunt D'Or film festival in 1952, where it scooped up 7 'Fannies'
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:51, archived)

i thought they made ice cream?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:52, archived)

They sponsor the event, obviously
jesus, you're really thick sometimes
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

o yea, lol

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:59, archived)

3
and I've got the soundtrack to one of them
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:45, archived)

1

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:45, archived)

can we guess which one?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

Mad Max I reckon

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:49, archived)

that or 'there will be blood'
oh! actually, it'll be the one with the fish
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:51, archived)

Oh well spotted

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

nope, none of those

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:58, archived)

mulholland, for the lezzers?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:00, archived)

nah

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:00, archived)

dunno then

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:22, archived)

no country for old men, i enjoyed it

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:29, archived)

good choice

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:31, archived)

less than half, a measly 12
/edit: oh
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:47, archived)

Is City of Men on the watched list?
Damn that film is good
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:58, archived)

y'know what, it isn't
people have been recommending it to me for about 12 years and i've just never got around to it
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:00, archived)

11
dunno. Subjective.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:47, archived)

dunno will be my answer, hth

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:46, archived)

I'll make a note of that, cheers

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:47, archived)

I was hoping it was going to be a Lexi Belle one

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:51, archived)

i'm starting to think he's gone off her

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:52, archived)

Her lack of an opinion about the referendum
spoiled my opinion of her a tad
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

she let us all down there

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:04, archived)

I don't think she can expect ongoing loyalty from her fans

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:55, archived)

do they usually lose interest after about 6 minutes?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:59, archived)

If I had to pick I'd probably go with the Gamecube
While it didn't have as many games as the other consoles it was competing with, there was a higher concentration of quality, you were simply more likely to get a decent game from it - case in point: Mario Sunshine, Wind Waker, Twilight Princess, the Metroid Prime Series, Viewtiful Joe, Eternal Darkness, and that's just off the top of my head.
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:51, archived)

I never had a gamecube
I had a SNES, N64, Wii, WiiU and now a DS, but the gamecube passed me by. My mate had one, and all the games were terrible. Although that might just be that he only bought terrible games. He wasn't a fan of Mario or Zelda...which made me wonder why he bought a Nintendo.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

i had all of those except the metroids prime.
never played 'em. i'd throw in pikmin, melee, double dash and hulk: ultimate destruction (my favourite game ever)
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:53, archived)

Pikmin is a FUCK YEAH from me, all of them are great, same with Smash Bros, Mario Kart, and I quite enjoy Mario Party
or as we call it "I Swear to God, if you get that Star I will Fucking Kill You"
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:17, archived)

Eternal Darkness was great. I think it may have been the last gaming all-nighter I've had.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:57, archived)

Any game that does the whole "break the fourth wall" thing is a tick in my book, and survival horror is a particular favorite genre for me

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:31, archived)

It's good because the whole 'tripping out' aspect of it gets even better when you're a bit sleep-deprived.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:32, archived)

I recently played through Outlast in one sitting, took about 5 hours
Really good game, but unfortunately the scares kind of wear thin after a bit, which is a big shame.

Silent Hill 2 really messed my head up during an all night play session. In the dark prison, it was literally a case of "walk through door, hear horrible background music, 180 and leave, find save point, save, quit, adopt foetal position," I fucking love that game
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 16:45, archived)

FUCK DAT SHIT.
Halloween is before Christmas...
Now that's the real party night.

How are you dressing up this year?
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:04, archived)

gonna glue a load of brown-skinned dolls in rags all over myself
and tell people I'm Germany
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:06, archived)

how about this instead
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/11/article-1250245-083E6344000005DC-720_306x494.jpg
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

That's manolith

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:11, archived)

ok how about this
www.thenerdpirates.com/uploads/2/7/6/1/27616051/3131206.jpg?528
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:12, archived)

Over rated and didn't deserve an Oscar

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:13, archived)

what does

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:16, archived)

sharknado 4

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:26, archived)

or a chevron

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:30, archived)

Babs Windsor has aged well

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:16, archived)

haha, well that worked out nicely

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:13, archived)

HOW DID YOU GET THA... ahem. eurgh, what a weirdo eh?!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:13, archived)

haha yeah
*wink*
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:15, archived)

haha yeah
*wank*
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:30, archived)

wawa yeah
*ha*
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:31, archived)

poor little chevron

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:40, archived)

left alone

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:41, archived)

Chev-bomb! Chev-bomb!
You're my chev-bomb!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:13, archived)

you
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

I'm often compared to Brad Pitt, yes.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:27, archived)

only because of this though
nz-entertainment.9msn.com.au/img/blog/jan09/blog251108_brad.jpg
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:41, archived)

Close enough.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:55, archived)

who will help

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:41, archived)

to walk you home

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:41, archived)

liek if u cri evrytim :'(

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:11, archived)

+1 for 8000000

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:12, archived)

I think you're going to be alone on this one, Jason

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:06, archived)

surely this year everyone will be dressing up as farage?

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:07, archived)

Nothing.
I think the best halloween get up I ever did (when i was a twatty student) was either mr muscle or 'the back end of a pantomime horse' there was no front end.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:07, archived)

I won't be taking part as it's for utter cunts

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

that makes no sense

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:18, archived)

Oh hahahahaha

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:29, archived)

the scariest thing of all
a white man!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:10, archived)

this made me cry with laughter, they had to close the comments because waaaah
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/10/as-lionel-shriver-made-light-of-identity-i-had-no-choice-but-to-walk-out-on-her
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:15, archived)

When I was at uni I yearned to write for the Guardian
now I'd be embarrassed to put it on my CV.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:21, archived)

Urgh. You've reminded me of the cunts that used to write for our student rag.
You could just imagine them closing off the article and smugly hitting send. Then them closing their laptop and cuddling up to their platonic girlfriend with a bottle of wine and a chinese waiting for the guardian to call. Pricks.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:29, archived)

Life would be better if news was news and comment was bullshit that didn't need to be published
Comment creates clicks, sadly.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:55, archived)

Oh of course, cif is home to the lefty versions of Katie Hopkins etc, they're trolling for traffic.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:58, archived)

Nah, they wouldn't eat Chinese, that'd be cultural appropriation or something.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:44, archived)

yep

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:31, archived)

that whole thing is like guardian reader upset porn

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:22, archived)

My theory on 'cultural appropriation' is that it's almost always levied at things that are of no intrinsic value to begin with.
For example:

Average white band: legitimate funk, not appropriation.

Culture Club: Wank in its own right, has been accused of 'appropriating' reggae rhythms.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:35, archived)

Reggae has no intrinsic cultural value, but funk does?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:38, archived)

Stop being deliberately obtuse.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:41, archived)

Shan't!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:43, archived)

is that a rhetorical question?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:47, archived)

Is this?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

please check your gaz for your unconditional oxbridge offer

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:50, archived)

But "Lionel" is a man's name.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:25, archived)

el -O
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:27, archived)

As Lion-O Shriver made light of identity, I had no choice but to TRANSFORM THIS DECAYED FORM TO MUMM-RA THE EVER LIVING!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:32, archived)

pfft

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:36, archived)

Would have been a better article, too.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:39, archived)

I don't get it

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:27, archived)

it's ok neither does the author

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:32, archived)

The jungle book must make her furious

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:37, archived)

the comments are a wealth of amusement along the lines of 'wait till she reads watership down' and 'christ, nobody tell her about the call of the wild' etc

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:40, archived)

Fuck Dickens what did he know about anything

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

It's weird because usually you see people saying 'do all your protagonists need to be white men all the time?'
With the feedback the internet provides you can't win for losing; makes you wonder how many of the classics would've gotten finished if they had it.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:59, archived)

Butt naked, save for a bowl of crème anglaise held over my crotch.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:23, archived)

you're going as a pudding, inspired

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:30, archived)

Remind me to never accept a dinner invitation from you.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:33, archived)

I couldn't work out whether you were being a spotted dick (too obvious) or a jam roly poly (unaware if you are fat or not)

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:38, archived)

It's part of the punchline to a terrible old joke:
"I'm fucking dis custard, and my friend has cum in dis pear."

You can work out the build up for yourself, but I wouldn't bother if I were you.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:45, archived)

hang on are you not going as a pudding then
:(
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:51, archived)

Slather me in yoghurt and call me a Fruit Corner.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:05, archived)

Robotic Bob Monkhouse

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:25, archived)

So, Jimmy Carr?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:27, archived)

TOP INTERNETTING GAES!
I'll be in Genoa, awaiting my big gay cruise the next day.

I hope the locals have something on.
I love getting the willies put up me.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:35, archived)

^ SmartPrice Julian Clary

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:37, archived)

Corbyn has caused a lot of upset with a simple tweet.
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/jeremy-corbyn_uk_57d5b55ae4b0d45ff8722418

Do Americans own the rights to grief now?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:42, archived)

Don't worry, Ken Livingstone will say something inadvisable about the Holocaust, soon enough.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:48, archived)

ffs
this is why it's better to use our wrinkly brains to engage in discussions that last longer that the number of characters the average, say, mentally deficient goldfish could hold in its mind at any one time, because it might just be that sometimes, things are more complex than can fit into a fucking tweet
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:49, archived)

Is it really 'whataboutism' if one event directly caused the other?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:13, archived)

I was thanked by a guy from Virginia on the weekend for our help with 9/11
Don't remember helping myself, but alright. The guy also said us guys were doing great after Brexit. Bizarre conversation.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:52, archived)

I did fuck-all, I was still in secondary.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

7/11 that year was the worst tradegy , I got married, lol

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:58, archived)

*copy paste entirety of stewart lee 9/11 routine*

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:13, archived)

I love Jonny Morris' clarification of his reply there
frinkiac.com/gif/S07E10/588003/591540.gif?b64lines=IEJZIFRIRSBXQVksIEkgV0FTIApCRUlORyBTQVJDQVNUSUMuIA==
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:01, archived)

I loved Animal Magic.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:11, archived)

^ dirty old bollock

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:44, archived)

s

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:44, archived)

If I can find a fur coat and a mask, I might go as Bane or summat.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:44, archived)

...who was played by Tom Hardy
It's like you want to be buggered senseless
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:58, archived)

That's the good thing about Tom Hardy:
he's versatile.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:00, archived)

oh, absolutely
provided you want a slightly unhinged criminal, that is.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:08, archived)

I prefer Joe Pesci in that role.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:19, archived)

^amuses me like a clown

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

Fuck you! you fucking fuck!

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

Unhinged and stylish, though.
Off to practice my Bane voice now.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:20, archived)

fuck that fur coat bollocks
bane is a goddamned luchador
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:17, archived)

MUCHA LUCHA

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:20, archived)

have you played guacamelee?
it's well good
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:42, archived)

I have not, no

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:42, archived)

i like it a lot despite being bastard hard
works great in 2 player, too
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:08, archived)

that's a dip not a game mayt3

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:44, archived)

i just spoon it into the cartridge slot and look at the ensuing colours

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:08, archived)

I didn't enjoy it that much really, thought I would
When it comes to stylish indie 2D platform / action games, I'm still waiting for something to top Mark of the Ninja, don't know why but I proper took to that game
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:48, archived)

i played the demo of that and wanted to play more but didn't get round to it
fascinating, eh?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:09, archived)

Truly one of the greats, Pulitzer - worthy
I think I got it on a sale or a humble bundle ages ago and pretty much 100% it, really good game and once you unlock the Ghost suit (makes you harder to see and extremely quiet but you can't attack or kill enemies) it's really fun to speedrun.

And now I'm thinking about Tenchu, and that From Software should take a break from Bloodborne / Dark Souls to make another one
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:17, archived)

In both live action film appearances, Bane has been relegated to the role of hired muscle for the baddie.
At least Batman & Robin got his outfit right.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:24, archived)

^ this
I'm firmly on the "they got Bane wrong" side in that argument. That said The Dark Knight Rises was on the whole pretty terrible
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:36, archived)

zombie

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:10, archived)

i quite like that song

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:19, archived)

it got a bit repetitive

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:58, archived)

was it in your head?
in your heeeEEAAaaaeeaeaEEAAd?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:11, archived)

slutty cat

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:21, archived)

Phoebe Buffay's more successful song.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:26, archived)

Oh lol
www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-6d083913-0bfb-4988-8cd8-d126fa6dcff1
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:38, archived)

PURPLE AKI M8

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 14:45, archived)

i.imgur.com/RrMecak.png
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:18, archived)

So many words.
Does it end with "Purple Aki" getting the help he so obviously needed?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:05, archived)

podka dots

(

broadsword w⚓, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:03, archived)

Brace yourself.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 15:06, archived)

CHRISTMAS!
Not long now! Excited?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:53, archived)

hey, it's my birthday first
no getting excited about christmas until after that
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:56, archived)

Mrs Hats' birthday is on 5th February, and mine is on March 4th
So the big celebration on her birthday is the first day of Dadvent. :)
We've talked about making Davent calendars in the past.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:03, archived)

yes, i'm not sure how you've managed to wangle that but good work!
anyway, you've had your present already. you shouldn't get a birthday in 2017
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:04, archived)

I still get the birthday though, surely
Come on, it's Dadmas XXXX!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

disgusting

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:06, archived)

The extra X is a kiss

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:07, archived)

i just assumed it was like castlemaine

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:12, archived)

not everything's lager, you know

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:13, archived)

no they also make a range of bitters

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

oh god, really?
Their lager is diabolical.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:19, archived)

i don't think i've seen it anywhere since the turn of the century

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:21, archived)

Now you mention it, I'm not sure I have either

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:22, archived)

its the pride of queensland, nobody drinks fosters in oz

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:33, archived)

says you

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:18, archived)

Mother's Day is the day before my birthday
and Father's day is the day before my wife's. So we get to steal each other's thunder AND our offspring's present-buying budget.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:10, archived)

that's good
I approve of this
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:10, archived)

ahahaha dadvent

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

Dunno

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:57, archived)

COME ON, IT'S CHRISTANNUKEIDWANZAMADAN!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:04, archived)

the most wonderful time of the year

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

Not really
now that I'm married I'm doomed to a future of conjoined christmas presents, meaning I'll get coasters and bedsheets and cutlery each year instead of power tools.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:59, archived)

My experience of marriage suggests that that could be the least of your worries.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:03, archived)

^

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:33, archived)

yeah, but you deserve lumps of coal so you've been getting away with it for too long as it is

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:03, archived)

why do I deserve coal?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

because you're a miserable hate-filled bastard

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

it's not hate, it's more of a distaste

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:10, archived)

Yeah?? Well taste DIS!
*draws back foreskin*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

gorgonzola?

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:22, archived)

It's more of a mature brie

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:22, archived)

or Casu Marzu

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:42, archived)

bless you

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:44, archived)

^ bellend is a portal to hell

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:25, archived)

I got banned from ASDA for whipping my cock out at the counter and telling them to 'roll that back'.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:25, archived)

^ used to be the store manager until this incident

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

BLACK foreskin more like, out of your bumhole
cos you like that sort of thing!!!!1!1!!!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:27, archived)

no m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:28, archived)

no but you blatantly do though

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:29, archived)

^Grrrrinch

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

oh yeah, like you're Mister Fucking Festive by december

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:06, archived)

Hey, I'm MISTER Christmas, m8, come on
I fucking love it
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:07, archived)

^ sprinkles his baldy head with glitter then hides in the christmas tree like a fat fucking baublebag

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:12, archived)

haha
nice
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:13, archived)

^mr meow meow present paws

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:12, archived)

*<|8-3

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:35, archived)

you put your willy in a pencil sharpener?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:43, archived)

nurse, I knew it was a mistake, now please, do what you can to stop the bleeding, and for heavens sake do your top button up, I'm only human

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:47, archived)

August bank holiday they start advertising it in my local, they already have 30 bookings

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:04, archived)

they'll be putting the decorations up in co-op soon

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:05, archived)

Thing is, it's going to be substandard grub, at four times the price it would normally be
Better off going to an indian. It'll be nice and quiet, you can have a lovely ruby, a cold pint of Cobra and it'll be the same price is it all year round.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:07, archived)

^ Jewish

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:10, archived)

I fucking wish
The only reason I put up a tree is because of the children.

Erm, I mean MERRY HANNUMASKWARAMADEID!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:12, archived)

I've never put up a tree in my own gaff.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:27, archived)

I put my tree up your nan's gaff.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:30, archived)

I showed your nan my ball-balls

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:31, archived)

oh i'll cancel then and sit indoors on my own

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

it's probably for the best

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

I give it one week before they start selling stollen in LIDL.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:10, archived)

Buy it quick before it gets STOLLEN!
hahaha merry christmas g-force yeti
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:11, archived)

haha, be careful or YULE run out of puns before december

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:15, archived)

He' he' he', merry B3tamas!

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:25, archived)

I've already started on the sloe gin

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:06, archived)

You'd better take it SLOE if you want to make it to christmas!
hahaha merry christmas tangled
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:08, archived)

d'you think we'll get a visit from frank?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:15, archived)

*sigh* We can only hope so, Tangled
Maybe if we all pray extra hard, a miracle just might happen.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:17, archived)

is he better now?

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:18, archived)

better than what?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:19, archived)

either way; no

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:26, archived)

he was on deaths door last i heard

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:35, archived)

oh well I hope he recovers in time for christmas
I think that is when manolith is planning to return his old account to him
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:49, archived)

thing is, i never took it from him
he insisted it be deleted
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:55, archived)

He's a complex genius
never question his method
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:57, archived)

fucking hell, this was meant to be here
www.b3ta.com/talk/7986866
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:40, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/talk/7986849
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:49, archived)

cheers H.B.Mupps, thanks to you I don't think anybody noticed my slip-up there

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:56, archived)

i just checked on the facebook and he is posting so i assume he's not dead

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:15, archived)

Momo's learned to type

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:17, archived)

pfft

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:39, archived)

damn it

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:41, archived)

My granddad's military unit tried to smuggle themselves into a fortified town by dressing up as a cartload of moonshine bootleggers
but by the time they were supposed to jump out they were all too pissed on their homebrew and were either killed or taken prisoner.

That was the last time the army tried the old Sloe Gin Horse tactic.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:14, archived)

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:16, archived)

booooooooooooooooooo

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:18, archived)

ok, christmas is cancelled everyone

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:19, archived)

then my work here is done

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:22, archived)

My mate's got a Polish missus.
His father in-law is now banned from making moonshine out of berries and sugar because he used to be perma-pissed round christmas.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:28, archived)

jesus christ that made my eyes bleed

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:31, archived)

oh that's rich coming from the Punfinder General

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:36, archived)

*thinks about changing board signature in honour of this thought*
alright grrrmachine
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:37, archived)

alright vladimir

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:44, archived)

The comment left by 'Ovisan'
www.hotukdeals.com/deals/glitch-playstation-4-500gb-console-with-deus-ex-mankind-divided-uncharted-4-a-thief-2510221
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:23, archived)

what a bender
that's a good deal though
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:28, archived)

Yeah, not bad

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:30, archived)

the thing you might not realise is that a gaming pc is better than a console

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:15, archived)

^ this
the only reason I'd own a console again is for exclusives, and even then I'm not hugely fussed.

Although I'd get a Dreamcast or original Xbox at the drop of a hat, only because the games are a nightmare / borderline impossible to emulate decently on a PC
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:19, archived)

Depends on how much you want to game.
There's certainly an attraction to buying a box that'll play games straight away.

I considered upgrading my pc and within two minutes was bored shitless trying to work out the current technology. Fuck keeping abreast of that constantly.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:22, archived)

I usually get 5 years out of a mobo/cpu combo
I upgraded it all about 6 months ago, except the graphics card thinking "it'll do".

XCOM2 showed me how wrong I was :(
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:25, archived)

I need to get a new graphics card at some point
Although the one I have is fine for what I want at the minute, the most demanding thing I play is probably Dark Souls, and that's only because the PC version is a technical mess.
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:34, archived)

I've got a 5 year old quad core.
I think it would be alright if I boosted the ram and shoved in an SSD. GPU's are far more important in gaming these days.

I didn't know it was that old! I've barely used the thing for anything.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 13:06, archived)

well yeah, but that's not really the point, is it?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:31, archived)

i'm always excited

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:42, archived)

That's the viagra ma8

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:47, archived)

I am.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 11:54, archived)

dunno

(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:42, archived)

According to the Telegraph and the Express on the weekend, immigrants are ruining our holidays
Funny that, thought it was ruined by spending it with family.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:46, archived)

Immigrants are ruining our holidays?
In what sense?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:53, archived)

at this point I always like to say to myself
"boiling up their poisonous biryanis"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kyos-M48B8U
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:58, archived)

whoah just imagine what it'll be like in expressland if they have relatives staying for the festive season from overseas. pretty frosty I would imagine.
(

vladimir, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 12:55, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 6:55, archived)

Morninh

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 7:15, archived)

alright Mupps

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 7:16, archived)

Grry
How's tricks?
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 7:27, archived)

not bad
I played around with a GoPro, and realised my life isn't exciting enough to own a GoPro.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 7:32, archived)

My video making friend has one of them
we tried strapping one of them to my dog's harness one time when we took him for a walk, the results were vomit inducing to watch from the motion
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:56, archived)

I strapped one to a lego train
but when it went round a corner it was like the Flintstones intro when they go to a drive-through and get an order of dinosaur ribs
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:03, archived)

Comically, but impractically, oversized?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:05, archived)

that's what she said!

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:13, archived)

|\/|()2|\|!|\|6

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 7:45, archived)

that just looks like wiki markdown m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:07, archived)

I dunno, used a l33t translator. Blame the government.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:11, archived)

Tories want to ban crypto-nonsense Windy
can't say I blame them. All William Gibson fans should be summarily executed.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:16, archived)

Because Neal Stevenson is much better, right?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:39, archived)

I reckon so, yeah
I don't think anyone's ever dressed up as a Stevenson character
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

I feel you have seriously underestimated the depths to which some people will sink.

(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:35, archived)

I can't think of any Stevenson characters that dress weird, apart from the Neo Victorians, but people would just put anyone who dressed like that down as a hipster.
Dressing like a Gibson character would be the same as dressing for the matrix.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:47, archived)

to be fair, Alan Turing's in the Cryptonomicon
and the government put him to rights, the filthy deviant
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:50, archived)

It's disgusting how he was treated.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:58, archived)

yeah, extra biscuit every tea break, just cos he invented that bloody machine
downright unfair to the rest of the Bletchley workforce
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:02, archived)

^so 1337

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:07, archived)

Alexis Arquette Aged 47 Dead 1 Share = 10 Prayers

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:01, archived)

now I've googled what role s/he had in Pulp Fiction
I don't know what to think
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:09, archived)

Morning

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:06, archived)

morning spanishfly
what depressing chain motel are you currently shacked up in?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:09, archived)

Premier inn.
Last week I was in a Penta Hotel it was very very nice and all the movies were free including the naughty ones.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:02, archived)

morning, all of the above

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:18, archived)

ditto
like Patrick Swayze used to say to Demi Moore in Ghost before [SPOILERS]
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:24, archived)

don't worry, I've seen that movie far too often enough

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:45, archived)

good morning

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:19, archived)

that's a bit formal Two Hats, after all these years we've known each other

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:26, archived)

I'm barely awake, grrrmachine
Still on my first coffee here.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:27, archived)

all is forgiven

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:29, archived)

bought this t-shirt yesterday
shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Always-Follow-Your-Dreams-1.jpg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:36, archived)

I like t-shirts like this
but can't get past thinking that comedy t-shirts make normal people look like dickheads
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:41, archived)

I got mis-sent a t-shirt in error and it was the drekkyist thing I've ever seen.
It was a cartoon skinned bunny with a chainsaw and some shit slogan.

I didn't even keep it for checking my oil.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

www.wordnik.com/words/drekky
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=drek
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

do you have any wacky ties for work?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

no
don't ruin this for me. I really like this t-shirt.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:03, archived)

are you still going to wear it when it's got white deodorant stains under the arms
and the vinyl has cracked from being washed too often?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:04, archived)

Oh good lord, no
They go in the bin at the first sign of that sort of thing
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:06, archived)

you know I don't like to see people happy

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:12, archived)

If it helps, he murders children
I didn't like the fact that they made him a paedophile in the remake. A man with finger knives who can kill you in your dreams obviously isn't terrifying enough.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:16, archived)

Wasn't he a paedo in the original?
Come to think of it, I've only seen 2, 3, and New Nightmare.
2 was loaded with homoerotic subtext, at least.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:26, archived)

It was never directly referred to
Just that he killed them. And yeah, the second one was super gay.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:32, archived)

how do you finger kids with knife-fingers?
er ... asking for a friend
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:34, archived)

Carefully!
lol
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:41, archived)

Unsurprisingly, there's at least one porno version where his knives are replaced by rubber cocks.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:47, archived)

Same for Edward Scissorhands.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:49, archived)

I despair with pornography, I really do.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:51, archived)

that's wankers remorse m8

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:59, archived)

mercy me

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:50, archived)

This article:
www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-most-terrifying-examples-rule-34_p2/
But mostly for the "spider woman" at the end.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:54, archived)

Jesus!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:56, archived)

You've got to feel a bit sorry for the bloke who is so jaded that that's what he needs to get it up.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:59, archived)

With my dad hat on
I worry about what the adults of the future will be in to. By the time I was 16, the strongest thing I'd seen was Razzle.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:05, archived)

^ this
They'll have the advantage of knowing which bits go where, but I'm not looking forward to explaining to my kids how and why what they're watching is unrealistic.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:12, archived)

Don't explain anything. Just teach them life is inherently a series of disappointments.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:14, archived)

I saw a tv show about porn one time
and this 12 year old kid said that he asked his 11 year old girlfriend if he could do her up the arse! I mean, imagine that?!? Well, don't imagine that, obviously. But fucking hell.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:14, archived)

:(
That's spectacularly grim.
And a reminder that I really need to sort out DNS level filtering on our home connection.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:17, archived)

I know, right?
Thing is, there's only so much you can do. You can do your best to make sure they don't see anything at home, but at some point they'll have smart phones, or their mates will show them. It's fucking scary.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:22, archived)

Other parents are the worst.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:24, archived)

We should stop talking about this
it's not making it any better
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:25, archived)

Why do that when you can DEMAND the government babysits your children on the internet?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:25, archived)

won't SOMEONE please think of the children?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:26, archived)

Can't go thinking about children
You'll be ousted as a nonce in this post Yewtree world
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:28, archived)

I remember when I was younger a family friend used to love IRC.
Anyway her dad didn't like her using it late at night because that's when the 'weirdo's' would be online.

I think he massively misunderstood the global nature of the internet, timezones and the sheer ubiquity of lunatics on the internet.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:29, archived)

Mother Theresa only wants what's best for us, I'm sure.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:28, archived)

well, you wouldn't want to get an 11-year-old girlfriend pregnant, would you?
That seems rather thoughtful from the boy's perspective.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:46, archived)

Spose

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:52, archived)

G'morgen all you sexay people.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:26, archived)

alright GFY

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:32, archived)

ahoy

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:38, archived)

thar she blows, m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:42, archived)

Brrrrrrrr

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:40, archived)

nips like diamonds?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:42, archived)

More of a general groan.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

colonel grumble

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:09, archived)

Major Moan

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:48, archived)

Lieutenant* Whinge
"it's pronounced leftenant"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:56, archived)

I like the columbo where he goes to the UK and they keep calling him leftenant columbo.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:59, archived)

Clint Eastwood is called Leftenant Schaeffer in Where Eagles Dare
even though he's a US Ranger. Which doesn't make much sense.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:03, archived)

There's a viz sketch called 'Loo Attendant Columbo' where he's a park toilet attendant trying to crack the case of who shat in his bog.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:05, archived)

During the winter of 1943, the American military experimented with correct pronunciation,
in an effort to facilitate cooperation with the British. It didn't last, but did serve to illustrate the fact that the Americans were doing English wrong (national pride has prevented a rerun of this scenario and it has been cited as one of the catalysts of the Tea Party movement).
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:09, archived)

Not sure about that. A lot of cases of Americans pronouncing or spelling stuff wrong is down to us changing things since the 18th century.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:13, archived)

I thought that if I used enough words, someone would believe me.
But, yeah, we've done a fine job of mangling our own language.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:23, archived)

It's fairly common, language is transient after all.
Icelandic is basically 1000 old Norse, which means Norwegians can understand it, but it sounds all old and weird and they can't speak it without breaking a load of rules they've done away with.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:27, archived)

I pronounce colour with a 'U'

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:23, archived)

I haven't walked on a pavement for a fortnight, old chap!
Earl Grey?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:08, archived)

Yeah

(

mongychops, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:47, archived)

sweet

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:49, archived)

morrrning

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:47, archived)

glad you could make it

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:49, archived)

only just
drank a bit too much for a Sunday
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:54, archived)

hi

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:48, archived)

^ bringing up the rear
hur hur hur
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 8:49, archived)

i got distracted by work and now there's too much of this thread for me to bother with

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:27, archived)

I've got a bit of a cold, but have come to work, anyway.
A problem shared is a problem halved, right?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:01, archived)

you work in a hospital m8
that's downright irresponsible
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:02, archived)

Back when I did work in a hospital, I'd get yearly bouts of gastroenteritis.
Don't miss that.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:08, archived)

you didn't have to give your boss analingus every time you clocked in m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:10, archived)

I wouldn't have got where I am today without it.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:13, archived)

+1 for 8,000,000

(

$$ ✅, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:21, archived)

+13293, when you wrote that.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:29, archived)

31 days to 8 million then
which is 10 weeks early, according to the Doveston
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:35, archived)

Jó reggelt!
As they say.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:37, archived)

nobody says that m8
lol coz ur a nobody!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 9:42, archived)

Ahoy hoy
Sadly back in the world where rum is not free and drinking before 11 is unacceptable.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:05, archived)

My bottle of Chairmans should arrive today.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:10, archived)

Had for the weekend just Bacardi
But have murdered something as nice as that in my glass
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:16, archived)

...eh?
sounds like you're still a bit under the influence there m7
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:35, archived)

It could have been anti-freeze
Tasty tasty anti-freeze
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:37, archived)

~~bottle~~ lifesize anatomically correct replica
s Mao
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:20, archived)

^

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:26, archived)

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:31, archived)

that's more morning thread than anyone can reasonably manage
my work here is done
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 12 Sep 2016, 10:42, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »