b3ta.com talk

Home » Talk » Archive 14083 (Older | Newer)

Alright

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:17, archived)

great, thanks
and yourself?
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:19, archived)

Up and down, Essem
Up and down. You?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:23, archived)

got all my blood test results back today
i appear to be indestructible.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:27, archived)

When you have blook taken
you should ALWAYS say "oh, it's still red then!"

They love that.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:28, archived)

hahaha

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:31, archived)

I've just blooked myself

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:39, archived)

you can't beat a good blooking

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:42, archived)

I blooked into a hooker's mouth

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:43, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zbk4Bvic5jA
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)

well blookey what we have here

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:50, archived)

Blook Monday

(

broadsword w⚓, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:50, archived)

i was at blook donors once and they said my donation was the quickest they'd had all day
so i said 'haha, i'm like bleedy gonzalez!' and got zero response, so fuck 'em
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:51, archived)

They really should make more of an effort, blook reserves are critically low

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:03, archived)

i've got the best blook, too
the one that they can give to anyone. i don't donate any more though. still, they had roughly 25 pints out of me
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:08, archived)

that's a lot of blook!

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 17:07, archived)

oh blooky hell

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:58, archived)

bit.ly/2n12xLC
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:18, archived)

Oh my god
thank you
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:19, archived)

no probs

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:38, archived)

I went for a pint to try and take the edge off my hangover.
I don't think it was the wisest move I've ever made.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:20, archived)

No, I imagine it wasn't
I used to find Mars milk drink was good for a hangover. Do they still make that?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:24, archived)

Jesus that stuff was too sweet for me

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:27, archived)

Yeah, too sweet generally
but it seemed to lift my spirits if I was unwell.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:29, archived)

I usually just go for irn bru in that case.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:34, archived)

i.imgur.com/Plv41fk.png
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:56, archived)

Lucozade Sport works wonders, I find.

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:55, archived)

Ok well tell us what you do think was the wisest move you've ever made and we'll decide.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:24, archived)

Breaking up tagliatelle into small sections so it's easier to eat.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:30, archived)

Sacrilege
The best thing about long pasts is the rolling on the spoon/fork, and the slurping.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:57, archived)

I find it disgusting.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:00, archived)

Gonna assume this means you either have no teeth or are severely learning disabled

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:02, archived)

Why not both?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)

it may be that he's feeding it to the birds

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:43, archived)

spicy noodles work a treat

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:28, archived)

Chicken noodle soup uber alles

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:33, archived)

made that last week
it was lush
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:37, archived)

Infest

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)

finally
yeah, you?
(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:20, archived)

dunno
I literally dun. no.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:24, archived)

I'm sorry to hear that

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:28, archived)

thanks
at least someone cares
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:31, archived)

Sweet as

(

mongychops, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:27, archived)

Magic
some positivity at last
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:29, archived)

Tekkers

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:32, archived)

sweet

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:35, archived)

Yurr

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:33, archived)

Are you burping as you say that?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:36, archived)

Yes

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)

niiiiiiiaaaaahhhhhce
*burps*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:49, archived)

still got a bit of a cough and I still can't hear out of my left ear, but I have an appointment with the nurse to have it syringed next week, so mustn't grumble

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:37, archived)

god speed

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:50, archived)

my snot keeps coming out orange

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:51, archived)

That only happens to me when I have a cold.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:54, archived)

Im a bit fucking hungover still from Saturday tbh.
We were drinking from midday til 10.30pm
yesterday was spent dry heaving, until I felt well enough to have a few joints later on.

Today, Im sore round my ribs.
Too fucking old for it all nowadays.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:54, archived)

I can sympathise jase.
I had a few drinks friday at a gig. Which left me feeling rough, so i had a few drinks Saturday to sort that out, which left me feeling rough. I had a gig last night so ended up pissed for that as well. Now I've got one of them hangovers that doesn't hurt, it's just manifested itself as fear.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:56, archived)

You're more hardcore, spreading the joy over three days.
Mind I did drink enough in that one afternoon.
we'll get through it. Keep yourself hydrated and have a good nights rest.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:58, archived)

Well that's the thing, I didn't really go in heavy. But I feel like I have.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:01, archived)

Our ageing livers defy us.
Boyce should be in a museum or something
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:12, archived)

We had nearly the same weekend it seems.
Except I have another gig tonight.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:13, archived)

RIP David Rockefeller

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:12, archived)

strikethrough rocke and add dead for Deadfeller lol

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:16, archived)

Too soon m8

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:20, archived)

fuck him
I reckon he was a cunt in private life
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:31, archived)

woah!
bit harsh
(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:36, archived)

Hey, don't shoot the messenger

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:38, archived)

Skank

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:41, archived)

i've heard he liked to 'rock' a 'feller' or two, knaawharramean?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 16:59, archived)

now we're talking

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 17:10, archived)

A Congresswoman has likened Putin to 'a tarantula in the middle of a web'
The overwhelming response to this? People pointing out that tarantulas don't sit in the middle of webs. Unbe-fucking-lievable.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 17:14, archived)

totally 9/11

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 17:17, archived)

They're doing a play about jocky wilson
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-39293870
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 17:33, archived)

Tesco just delivered my weekly shop
Like 20 bags of stuff, but the poor bloke's got to carry it up 5 floors since we don't have a lift. He's a pensioner; I'm scared he's going to die considering the colour he's turning.

What do you want to do when you retire?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:46, archived)

heroin

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:47, archived)

i

Pots and pans
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

fart into a hooker's mouth

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:49, archived)

You could always help him, you murderer!
OG GANGSTA

I'd like to retire in a bungalow by the sea.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

Don't know about Poland
but over here you're not allowed to help. Health & Saftey gone mad, etc
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:55, archived)

I think they're fair game once you get the crates off the street.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:56, archived)

I'd be willing to bet that once they get to your front door, you can do what you like
but really, a Tesco representative would be better placed to answer this
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, archived)

hi I represent Tesco, how can I help?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:06, archived)

Would you like to get a coffee sometime?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:09, archived)

my mum says I'm not allowed to date customers

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:13, archived)

what about if it's purely sexual?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:40, archived)

well I suppose as long as there is no coffee or anything else involved, that would be ok

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:44, archived)

aren't you? how silly
the steps to my front door are quite treacherous but by the time i know they're here, all the crates have been brought up so i've never offered to help.
also, i'm a bastard
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, archived)

I offered to help when I lived in a third floor flat
but they always said that I'm not allowed. Maybe I looked like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, archived)

you still do a bit

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:03, archived)

oh no doubt

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:08, archived)

you look like Peppa Pig's dad tbh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:08, archived)

fuck you

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:09, archived)

the voice actor for peppa pig's dad
is the guy who gets force-fed an egg in Who Framed Roger Rabbit
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:15, archived)

~~Peppa~~ Windy
(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:14, archived)

~~pig's dad~~ miller
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:37, archived)

Does that mean by extension he also looks a bit like Dr Marvin Monroe?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:00, archived)

Well at least that must save money on father's day cards

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:05, archived)

i was born in a bungalow by the sea
am i living my life backwards?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:55, archived)

Benjamin buttolith
Loll, butt
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:58, archived)

~~am i living my life backwards?~~ spongebob square pants!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, archived)

so it's come to this...
i'm clicking like on a monster munch post

truly all hope is lost
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, archived)

If it's any consolation,
you made me think of the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants, so I'm certainly suffering the most horrendous ear-worm.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:03, archived)

i'm surprised/disappointed that nobody tried to do the second line

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

So you're wanting to end your life on a shitty council estate?

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:18, archived)

not wanting, just seems inevitable

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:37, archived)

I'd like to go and live in a British enclave on the Spanish coast.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

As little as possible.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:51, archived)

yeah I certainly don't want to have to deal with the same level of childcare that my parents have to put up with

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:53, archived)

I can easily envisage any number of my children never leaving home,
ensuring that I'll have to be very involved in their children's lives.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:55, archived)

You're not really selling this 'having kids' thing to me.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:57, archived)

I'm not your wife.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, archived)

would have been a great twist if you were

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:01, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8059319
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:57, archived)

Have a nice sit down.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:52, archived)

depends what the retirement age is in 30-40 years time

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:57, archived)

perhaps we'll all have been automated out of jobs.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:58, archived)

now there is your best chance of a Marxian revolution, when the middle classes all lose their jobs
but unfortunately by then a life that isn't based on neoliberal individualism will be out of living memory and everyone will be too busy looking after their own patch of nothing to join forces with those other people
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:02, archived)

plus I'm pretty certain that they are holding back the legalisation of cannabis as their trump card
young unemployed males in the US with access to videogames and marijuana report unprecedented levels of personal happiness, they ain't ever going to rise up
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:04, archived)

120 probably

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:58, archived)

Fuck.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, archived)

I know
it's going to be rough
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:01, archived)

I think people our age will have to admit that state pensions won't exist in 40 years time

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, archived)

I can't understand what you'd want to be 90 and all sorts of fucked up.
Stupid human survival instinct
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:01, archived)

i'll probably just freeze to death after running out of bills to burn then

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:03, archived)

but what about all that luxurious fur you have?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:05, archived)

it'll all fall out due to the radiation poisoning

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:40, archived)

what are you going to do with 20 bags of cabbages anyway?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, archived)

Poland is a modern country now
we don't eat cabbage. It serves as toilet paper.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, archived)

I like cabbage.
Preferably unused, though.
Turns out, I like kale, too.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:06, archived)

+Peter
l y
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:10, archived)

+y cuoco's bumhole

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:12, archived)

Pretty impressed that they deliver to Poland

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:14, archived)

This was filmed at my local Tesco
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mYpzNFG6y0
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:18, archived)

Drive thru

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:23, archived)

Jesteście sławni!

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:28, archived)

right leaving 4eva 'cause of this

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:29, archived)

Are you trying to say "You are famous?"
because even without the diacritics, you fucked it up
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:34, archived)

I thought it was Polish for "I am having a violent coughing fit."

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:41, archived)

coincidentally I have been having violent coughing fits
might be cancer
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:58, archived)

dunno I just copied and pasted one of the comments from your link
anyway, I've left forever now
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:42, archived)

Jestes = you are (singular)
Jestescie = you are (plural, to a group of people).

I'm just me.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:46, archived)

Bo kto ci zapamita naklejk z szyby jak wbili do rodka tym bardziej wtpie eby na kamerach szo j odczyta ...
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:57, archived)

errr, that's deleted a large number of letters
but it's referring to the fact that cars here have the reg number as a holographic sticker on the windscreen, so although they removed the plates on the car, a well-placed CCTV camera might still have caught their identity.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:01, archived)

~~kto ci zapamita naklejk z szyby jak wbili do rodka tym bardziej wtpie eby na kamerach szo j odczyta~~ selecta
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:01, archived)

J T
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:01, archived)

JESTICLES
lol
(

Kroney, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:05, archived)

Is this a Polish blues brothers remake?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:54, archived)

Sit around for a bit then go up the pub

(

mongychops, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:34, archived)

thug lyfe

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:14, archived)

killing spree

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:19, archived)

New thread new thread, probably going to be poo thread.
Article 50 is a go next Wednesday. I've also got a gig that day. Coincidence? I don't think so.
What does the future have in store?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:25, archived)

I dunno
But I'm sure I could get a pretty good idea if I ask a gypsy lady in a caravan, as a person stuck on some scrub land outside Shitetown has got it all going for her enough to know whats going to happen to me. Right?
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:28, archived)

Oh yeah. Course.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:40, archived)

Every citizen to be awarded merit points, various acts will add or subtract
Each day the lowest 1000 scores to be exterminated
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:28, archived)

I'll write my will now

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:28, archived)

+5 for not dumping the job of parcelling up your estate onto someone else

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:31, archived)

+on
+y
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:54, archived)

They're already rolling out something similar in China, aren't they?
"Be nice to your parents or we'll deduct points from your rating and you won't be able to get a job."
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:31, archived)

+2 for publicly criticising a foreign power

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:33, archived)

I think there's a thing where if you're a bell on the chinese version of facebook it negatively affects your credit rating.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:43, archived)

Wouldn't surprise me.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:44, archived)

That's a black mirror episode no?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:40, archived)

Probably, dunno
haven't seen them all
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

Yeah, it's one in the most recent series I think.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:43, archived)

White Bear was the best of those I saw

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:46, archived)

Yeah, that was a good one.
They can be a bit heavy handed, but generally pretty compelling.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:03, archived)

farting into a hooker's mouth

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:31, archived)

he truly was a pioneer

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:40, archived)

A tedious afternoon of work
punctuated by many cups of coffee.
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:33, archived)

lol unct

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:34, archived)

trying to include the dyslexic boarders here

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:35, archived)

llo

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:39, archived)

someone asked me if I was going to get Polish citizenship post-brexit
and I laughed in their stupid face
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:34, archived)

It's your duty to assimilate.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:37, archived)

no it isn't
I'm white
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:38, archived)

^ creeping Britishisation

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:43, archived)

like the borg

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:42, archived)

Swedish citizenship, then

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:44, archived)

I've been meaning to try and get copies of my nan's birth/marriage/death certs so I can become an irish.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:48, archived)

my great-grandfather was scottish
so if they go independent and rejoin the EU I might be in with a chance.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

Resistance is feudal.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

I thought you'd be pleased that we're finally off.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

I'm in two minds
economically I think it's suicide, and I also think it's daft for small countries to try and work independently when they can be stronger as a team.

But I more strongly feel that the EU in its current form is a massive sack of cunt that serves a very limited few at the expense of the many, is mired in bureaucratic process, holds no person accountable for mistakes made, suffers a severe lack of democracy and transparency, and is ultimately ineffectual where it really matters. I don't think any country really benefits from the EU beyond French farmers and Italian banks, both of whom should have gone bankrupt decades ago.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:48, archived)

And yet it still does a better job at protecting British workers than the shit-sacks in charge here.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

Does it?
Free movement of people allowed entire sectors of industry and service to import foreign labour at cheaper rates than locals. Look at the NHS - thousands of foreign nurses brought in who are now returning home, leaving an already strained service critically understaffed. Why wasn't the government promoting nurse training two decades ago to prevent this, or offer stipends, grants etc to get more locals into the healthcare system? Cos forrins are cheaper and the net tax yield is higher, and fuck the Britons, they can become social media managers or sutin.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

I'd put that down to the ineptitude of 'the shit-sacks in charge here'.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

It's the inevitability of short-term political thinking, which is intrinsic to all governments
Which is why it's incompatible with a vast pan-EU project that sets budgetary periods twice the duration of a standard government term. You just get prick governments spunking it all up the wall and wasting a generation's worth of effort.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:11, archived)

The NHS being staffed by forrins isn't anything to do with the EU -
it's long since sourced both doctors and nurses globally. It is true that successive governments have done sweet fa to change this, though, what with it being cheaper than training the natives.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

I won't be happy until all hospital staff are utterly sleep deprived.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

have your colleagues commented on your naked chin?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

One "you look younger" and one "have you always had a mustache?".
And a few barely suppressed giggles.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:18, archived)

in two minds
economically I think it's suicide, and I also think it's daft for small countries to try and work independently when they can be stronger as a team.

But I more strongly feel that the EU in its current form is that serves a very limited few at the expense of the many, is mired in bureaucratic process, holds no person accountable for mistakes made, suffers a severe lack of democracy and transparency, and is ultimately ineffectual where it really matters. I don't think any country really benefits from the EU beyond French farmers and Italian banks, both of whom should have gone bankrupt decades ago.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:58, archived)

not worth the effort tbh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

I disagree.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:04, archived)

Yeah, everyone thinks their shit doesn't smell as bad as others'
YOUR WRONG!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

Your'e*

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

Seven long years a bird in the wood,
And seven long years a fish in the flood.
Seven long years a warning bell,
And seven long years in the deeps of hell.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:39, archived)

wood and flood don't fucking rhyme

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:41, archived)

He's from the Midlands.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:42, archived)

you can't argue with tradition

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:46, archived)

yes I can
tradition is bent
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

Alright Ronald.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:42, archived)

alright

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:38, archived)

what have I told you about reading folk tales?

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:44, archived)

aw it was only one :(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:45, archived)

the eventual heat death of the universe

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:39, archived)

Before that?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:42, archived)

complete wwf smackdown 2 know your role season mode

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:58, archived)

no chance, man
kane will mash you up
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:05, archived)

i think I have it as a ROM on an old hard drive

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

i want to play breath of the wild
that's about it
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:58, archived)

sweet

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:43, archived)

i can't wait to post pictures of it on facebook

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:05, archived)

#lastselfie

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

New trade deals with countries other than Europe.
New trade deals with Europe.

Bills, bills, bills.
Tax, tax, tax.
Moaning, money, manifestos.

New passports. New borders. Hadrians wall going back up, and Scotland fucking off.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:59, archived)

You think Scotland will fuck off?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

haha, not a chance
Their economic policy last time around was "we'll reclaim the North Sea oil fields!" and experts said "even that won't keep your economy afloat", and that was with oil at $100/barrel. Now it's $40; scotland would be utterly fucked.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:02, archived)

alt: people are so sick of Sturgeon's bleating they'll do anything to avoid Indyref14, 15 and 16 over the next decade

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:07, archived)

"twice in a lifetime opportunity"

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

It was 'once in a lifetime' *unless* a major constitutional change.
I'd argue brexit is that, especially since 'you might not be allowed in the EU' was one of the reasons for staying within the uk.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:17, archived)

^ this

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:23, archived)

It's well lol when T-May lists reasons for not letting Scotland have independence that are just, if not more valid reasons for not leaving the EU with no sense of irony or self-awareness.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:27, archived)

"Do as I say, not as I do."

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:33, archived)

will of the people m8

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:38, archived)

+y

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:38, archived)

I hope the working class riot when they work out they've been duped big time.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:40, archived)

They'll share a few strong Facebook memes, that's for sure.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:43, archived)

they've no reason to, May has consistently put immigration at the forefront of her agenda

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:46, archived)

And when it turns out immigration wasn't the problem?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:47, archived)

they might still be poor and jobless but at least their neighbours won't have smelly food

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:52, archived)

Yes.
Teresa May is a gift to the Scottish independence movement.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:06, archived)

If they do, it won;t be til after this mess.
Suppose it depends how it all works out for the UK.

Nicola Sturgeon will still be banging her drum. Like an angry Krankie
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:08, archived)

tits

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:08, archived)

no way, fuck off

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:09, archived)

straight up

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:13, archived)

I saw a lovely pair of tits on my balcony this weekend

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:13, archived)

I regret this thread.
Might delete it.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

maybe someone else will start one

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:20, archived)

Logs in, logs back out, l8rs

(

mongychops, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:19, archived)

Yeah, soz.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:21, archived)

in b4 delete

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:35, archived)

If you delete, I delete

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:35, archived)

last

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:35, archived)

Well that's another one of Richard mcbeef's favourite musicians gone.
Who here likes to look at people while they do plops and wees?
(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:42, archived)

Imagine throwing it all away, based on a wank
Boyce, I mean
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:43, archived)

Oh, I can imagine

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:46, archived)

Funny how an "act of immorality with a 14 year old girl" was not the career ending event it would be today.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:45, archived)

You could call him the original R Kelly

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:47, archived)

He never pissed on them.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:48, archived)

So baby give me that toot toot
Let me give you that beep beep
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:52, archived)

'Trapped in the closet' is one of the most surreal things I've ever seen.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:06, archived)

I only know the Weird Al version.
Am I missing out?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:32, archived)

yes

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:32, archived)

it was a spurious charge without substance, that's why

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:44, archived)

I'll charge spuriously in to your nan mate.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:45, archived)

oh wait, no it wasn't
I only read half the article - it turns out his appeal was initially upheld, but then he did subsequently serve time for it following a retrial.
The dirty old bollocks
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:49, archived)

I don't like that at all.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:46, archived)

fair enough
it's not my cup of tea
(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:47, archived)

strikethrough pee

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:47, archived)

I don't see the appeal
really you're just looking at someone sitting on a chair with no trousers on. Or are you asking if we like looking at people squatting over glass tables and seeing the poo actually come out? Cos that's a bit grim; it prolly looks a bit like meat being forced into a sausage skin.

If only there was a board member obsessed with poo and sausage-making, who we could get the opinion of.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:51, archived)

I've watched shit extrude from my offspring's anus, like Satan's Mr Whippy,
when they've decided that midway through changing their nappy is the ideal time to relieve themselves. It's not pretty.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:59, archived)

Do you think this post is representative of your best work?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:06, archived)

I gave up all concept of standards a long time ago

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:11, archived)

Hang on, is this chuck Berry we're on about or is someone else dead?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:07, archived)

I know... That was so yesterday

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:12, archived)

I can't have been the only one who was surprised to learn that Chuck Berry hadn't died years ago.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:15, archived)

You weren't.
I, too, assumed he had carked it yonks ago.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:19, archived)

Nigel Havers, m8

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:25, archived)

I just seen on the news that Sesamie St is going to introduce a muppet with autism.
Is it one of you lot?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:51, archived)

It's me m8

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:58, archived)

It's me m8
I love to autism, bro
(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:58, archived)

~~people with autism love to parrot stuff they've read~~ It's me m8
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:11, archived)

It's me m8
It's me m8
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:12, archived)

Had a small lol at the end of the article
when the woman talked about how she hoped the muppet would one day no longer be seen as "Julia with autism" but "just Julia", when the entire purpose of her existence on Sesame Street is to be "the one with autism".
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:16, archived)

Entire cast of TBBT replaced with grey dullards possessing not one single defining trait, and still idiots watch it

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:20, archived)

London's Burning had a black character called 'Token'
that was only, what, 25 years ago?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:22, archived)

#takingitback

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:26, archived)

Srsly?
How did they get away with that one?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:29, archived)

I only remember it cos I asked my Dad what it meant
and since he was in the police at the time, he went off on a massive rant about positive discrimination etc etc
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:33, archived)

a friend of mine during his best man speech for his black bandmate made a joke about how he was the token black member of the band
amazingly the predominantly black audience didn't collapse into fits of laughter
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:36, archived)

south park has a character whose actual name is 'token black'

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

Bollocks.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 12:21, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 6:59, archived)

Morning

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 7:09, archived)

alright Windy
recovered from your weekend?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 7:14, archived)

I feel fine today.
Went pretty hard Friday and Saturday but last night was pretty chill. Bit sleepy as it was pretty late last night, but not too bad.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 7:49, archived)

Hail and well met, fellows.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 7:33, archived)

it's not raining ice here m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:09, archived)

I shaved off my beard, last night,
and now my chin is cold. I don't know how you cope.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:56, archived)

take off your icecube necklace

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:06, archived)

But "Are We There Yet?" is my favourite film.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:17, archived)

you idiot

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:13, archived)

I'm inclined to agree.
My tash looks lonely.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

You could always make the most of it and invade Poland

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:17, archived)

Not sure I'd want Poland, tbh.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:37, archived)

Fuck me it's a grim day
Morning peeps
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 7:42, archived)

and frostbitten winter kingdoms?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:09, archived)

GWS

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:12, archived)

Morning
as folks are wont to say round these parts.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:07, archived)

nice to see a well-placed wont on a monday morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:11, archived)

Good morning benders and bendettes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:25, archived)

m'lady

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:28, archived)

Bendette
the best a bent can get
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

what about non-binary bends m8?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:41, archived)

Good morning non-binary xenders

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:47, archived)

^ resonance cascade

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:49, archived)

hi

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:57, archived)

fuck 'em

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:01, archived)

with what?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:03, archived)

haha, with a xhelmit or summat

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:03, archived)

Xhelmit: Warrior Prince Albert

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:13, archived)

Happy World Sparrow Day!

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:28, archived)

^ dressed like a camp pirate

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:33, archived)

is it world sparrow day already?
seems to come around sooner every year
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:14, archived)

adorning

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

the bloke who play Worf in star trek is Mr Dorn
this means you want to suck a klingon willy
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:33, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxPKNX1oWyw
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:55, archived)

I appreciated the sheer scale of comedy edits TNG provides
also, famke jannsen's tits and that bint what was in Conan the Destroyer
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:08, archived)

Famke Jannsen is in The Blacklist
and I thought "my goodness, she's ageing well". Then I noticed that her face barely moves when she talks.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:15, archived)

morning

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:44, archived)

alright tangles

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:45, archived)

slowly getting there, one tiny step at a time

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 8:58, archived)

hi everyone. let's get this over with

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:13, archived)

sure will

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:13, archived)

*gets pumped up*
*passes out*
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:15, archived)

we can make it if we work together as a team

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

hahahahaha
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/uproar-as-born-again-christian-launches-complaint-over-police-using-lgbt-rainbow-flag-1-7871975
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:14, archived)

Don't you find that most people who "turn to god"
do so because they've run out of humans who will talk to them
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:16, archived)

they have run out of options in life

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

without wanting to invoke /r/atheism
vocal christians are utter simpletons
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:20, archived)

nice

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:17, archived)

That poor tattoo artist, he's got to live with his canvas acting in this way

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:20, archived)

It looks like he's just done it himself in the mirror.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

tattoo artists surely have some of moral code, right?
Like asking "are you aware this will completely fuck up your life?" before inking someone's face.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:40, archived)

"I want a tattoo that captures the spirit of this hat"
Say no more, m8
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:45, archived)

There's a wally that comes into my local on the rare occasion and he's got a full Maori facial tattoo. It's been covered and redone several times, so if he's more than about 3 meters away it looks like he's blacked up.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:28, archived)

He's got a point though.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:27, archived)

That god owns the rainbows?
that's true, I suppose
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

I think he meant point as in his willy lol
lol
(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:34, archived)

hahaha
oh man, that is rich!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:36, archived)

You'd have thought an omniscient, transcendental being would be aware of other uses of the rainbow,
and pick a less contentious symbol for His followers to unite behind.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:36, archived)

a bit of wood with his son nailed to it, that's what I'd use

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:40, archived)

I think you might be on to something, there.
A bit grim, perhaps, but no one else is using it. Good job there's nothing in the Bible about graven images, too.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:02, archived)

i am getting Over £80 per hour working from home with 2 kids at house. I never thought I would be able to do it but my best friend earns over £9185 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless.

Heres what I've been doing........ www.MaxWage70.Com
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

whoa hold on a minute
I've just spotted that CarolGlade is getting paid over £98.91 per hour
those MaxWage70 bastards are ripping me off
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:35, archived)

lol gutted

(

$$ ✅, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:38, archived)

"Uneducated followers of the media nites"?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

yeah
Come on m8, everyone knows what the media-nites are
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 9:39, archived)

Don't want to end up reading the times.
Woah oh the media nites
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:02, archived)

Might be a rasta thing:
The Africans were the Medianites as Canaanites and sons of Kush / Ham. The Israelites / Moses were Hebrew Israelites and descending from Shem. They were not African, according to the scripture.

And you will find he did slaughter the tribe of his wife and children. His wife was a medianite.... By slaughtering them I mean they killed all of the males including the male children and the none virgin women. The virgins they kept for themselves. This is wickedness at its heights and against the example of Haile Selassie I

If you read the bible you should know this!

I obviously need to brush up on my Bible.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:12, archived)

Imma read Harry Potter instead
better innit
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:15, archived)

The only Potter book I've read was Deathly Hallows.
It was rubbish.

Fittingly, the only book of the Bible I've read is Revelation. I didn't like that, either.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:19, archived)

Well it's no good just reading the last one, is it
They're alright. The boys enjoyed having them read to them. Amusingly, my oldest hated the films because they're not as good.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:24, archived)

I'd been watching the films with my other half, thought I'd get ahead and find out the ending by reading the last book
(mainly to confirm that the "Harry is a horcrux and has to get himself killed" twist was as I'd suspected).

I didn't have kids at the time, so I really had no business reading the books, but I'd enjoyed taunting a colleague with my "Snape kills Dumbledore, but it's all part of the plan and he turns out to be a hero" prediction, earlier, so wanted to check if I was right. On reflection, guessing the plot twists is a story for children isn't really much of an achievement.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:34, archived)

The B.I.B.L.E (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) is an *Ancient* book written roughly 2500 years ago by lots of different people then translated over and over again, edited, re edited and so on for millennia.

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:15, archived)

Ancient Aliens are to blame for everything.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:22, archived)

goodness me

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:16, archived)

He's quite the package, isn't he

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 10:18, archived)

they should have put the picture further down the article
having it at the top ruins the comic timing
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 11:16, archived)

this vegan straight sXedge chat was great but
Shaquille O'Neil approves of the fact that the Earth is flat ...

if it were, he wouldn't have played basketball because dat don't work like dat.

also: how can he have a Scottish surname?!
also: see you when the morrow morns
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 21:17, archived)

Did you ever play Shaq Fu on the S'NES

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 21:19, archived)

faq you shu m8
no, sorry I didn't
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 21:24, archived)

Ibibio sound machine were great.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 21:49, archived)

~~Ibibio~~ Miami
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 22:09, archived)

~~sound~~ vice
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 0:20, archived)

I bet he thinks 9/11 was an inside job

(

$$ ✅, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 22:12, archived)

FALSE FLAG!

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 0:49, archived)

We're playing a show tonight.
The headline band are vegan straightedge. Like that bloke from lost prophets. I'm scared.

How are you?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 19 Mar 2017, 18:56, archived)

Good luck t you mate , I've never been a showman since school, I've caused many a scene tho

(

mongychops, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 18:59, archived)

I'm looking forward to it,
Although it doesn't look like we're getting much of a sound check as the headline band appear to be wankers.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 19 Mar 2017, 19:00, archived)

Sabortage their instruments!

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 19:01, archived)

Vegan Straightedge
Sounds like some sort of Virginal cosmetic surgery.

"Well Doctor, I was thinking of having the vegan straightedge. Does it take tong? Will I have to be in overnight?"
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 19:00, archived)

Angry pricks with honkylocks

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 19:06, archived)

Fugazi are like that apparently.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 19:07, archived)

^ anti pasta

(

mongychops, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 19:15, archived)

^ gay sex tourism

(

mongychops, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 19:32, archived)

How's the weather?
Its windy here.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 12:20, archived)

's alright, yeah.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 12:29, archived)

good.

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 12:32, archived)

In your face gale!

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 12:53, archived)

It's fine.
It says "thanks for asking".
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 13:17, archived)

cloudy with a chance of meatballs

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 13:52, archived)

On holiday in Helsinki I found myself in a pool with some boring locals.
I've always wanted to swim with dull Fins.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 14:10, archived)

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 14:44, archived)

Just logging in so that I can leave a blank post in response to this.

(Sammy Lee's Half Time Wees, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 14:52, archived)

Alright shambles.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 15:36, archived)

Select all images with 1970s footballers.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)

The big question is which will run out first: shit football names or insecure b threeta accounts.

(Sammy Lee's Half Time Wees, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 15:51, archived)

I quite liked 'the onion prince of nigeria'

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 15:55, archived)

Ha, is he a guy who promises people a share in a TWENTY MILLION ONION FORTUNE in return for a small loan?

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 16:34, archived)

There
www.b3ta.com/talk/8051329
(

mongychops, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 17:02, archived)

Blimey you're one hell of a lurker.

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 15:57, archived)

That's shambles

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 19 Mar 2017, 18:15, archived)

bollocks
you shot your bolt when you saw Chuck Berry guff into a hooker's mouth and had to login. Pervert.
(

$$ ✅, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 18:28, archived)

changeable
but mild
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 16:42, archived)

Rip Chuck Berry
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-39318602
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:27, archived)

I read that as barry chuckle at first and nearly cried

(

mongychops, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:41, archived)

You never can tell

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 23:05, archived)

14 points in it final quarter

(

mongychops, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 23:57, archived)

Ooft

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 0:10, archived)

16 points , close

(

mongychops, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 0:31, archived)

It's the thought of Paul standing by a grave
A single tear falls as he whispers "it's all to me now"
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 9:42, archived)

good innings

(

$$ ✅, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:44, archived)

good ding-a-lingings

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:55, archived)

Disgusting

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:56, archived)

+Johnny B
+e
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 7:40, archived)

90/27
=3.333 Regular rockstars
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 9:37, archived)

:(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 8:13, archived)

hey, don't be like that mate
If I can be arsed, I'll dig out that gif of him farting in that hooker's mouth if you like.
(

$$ ✅, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

yeah I'd like that

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 10:35, archived)

morni
oh crap
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 9:30, archived)

Alright?
Can't be bothered to go out. You?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:50, archived)

I've gone for a couple of pints after the film I've seen, but I just bought a bottle of red for when I get bored and go home.
Off sales stop at 10 in Scotland, it's shit.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:55, archived)

The rugby upset me, so I'm getting home pissed.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:00, archived)

I saw the end of the Wales one, but fucked off for England/Ireland.
The shit thing about my local is they only sell wine by small bottles so even if they're nice enough to off-sale you a bottle on the sly it's a pain.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:02, archived)

The end of that Wales game was a bit bonkers.
Good on the French though.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:02, archived)

They like a scrum, eh?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:04, archived)

That ref was a knob mind, but you can't blame the French for making the most of it and trying for the win

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:13, archived)

I don't mind the French
They've got a guitarist in the pub, and he's alright, but there's basketball on the telly above him,that's far more interesting tbh.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:15, archived)

I've got Portland for the win by 10-13 points, because I'm bored

(

mongychops, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:27, archived)

You could be on to something there.
I don't understand basketball at all, but it's easy to watch.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:31, archived)

I like it, kids are watching shit so it preferable and i can make silly bets

(

mongychops, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:38, archived)

I've never seen White Men Can't Jump.
Maybe I'll watch it while I drink that bottle of wine.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:40, archived)

P.s. It's there an actual term for when someone grabs the hoop and shatters the glass frame?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:41, archived)

No idea

(

mongychops, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:51, archived)

It's a good film , well acted

(

mongychops, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:52, archived)

Nah.
The Mrs is watching some chick-flick. She brought me round some booze though as a bribe to sit with her. Got a big fart brewing, when she nips to the bog I'm gonna sit in her spot and let it go. :D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:56, archived)

You are a romantic.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:00, archived)

I am. It's troo.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:01, archived)

Watching The Great Escape...
And today some vibrating anal beads and numbing anal gel was delivered. Along with £70 wirth of filthy lingerie.

I'm for a goodnight. Loads of TUNNELS to be dug ;)
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:45, archived)

Your mrs is putting you on the game again?
Poor The LOVELY Span Eff. Forced to sell his arse to burly dockworkers for pennies. Again.
:(
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:53, archived)

I watched the great escape it satisfied me

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 19 Mar 2017, 1:25, archived)

it's wet here
is it wet there?
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)

Dunno, my blind is drawn.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)

buy a real one, you ming, don't just draw one

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:21, archived)

Gone the pub, it's blue skies here.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:05, archived)

all i got is blue hair

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:10, archived)

Alright 'Marge'

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:21, archived)

i was bored. it cost a quid.
turns out i like it.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:34, archived)

My grunge mate said he used to die his hair with ice poles back in the day.
By the time I met him he was as bald as a coot so I can't confirm.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:36, archived)

i've never had blue hair before
had black, red, brown, green, purple, orange, blonde, white and striped, but not blue
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:48, archived)

back in the day
there used to be a monster that had ice poles for hair, and if she looked at you you'd turn into a curly wurly, but someone held up a mirror and she turned into a bubblegum flavoured curly wurly
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:15, archived)

Is this an Adventure Time reference?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:35, archived)

no

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:36, archived)

yeah alright 'noel fielding'

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:12, archived)

Hahaha

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:19, archived)

One of your all time great lyrics – apart from all of Stay Another Day (4) – is "outside is raining, but inside is wet" from Steam. What is it about?
[Laughs] Well... It's, er...
Is it rude Tony?
It is rude, yeah. Most of them are. Well, they were!
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:18, archived)

yeh, their songs are well shit

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:21, archived)

wetter than an otter's pocket
which is odd since I work with a Ms Otter and I doubt she'd wear damp trousers
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:33, archived)

not even if they weren't properly dry and she was late for work?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)

it tried to rain but you could tell its heart wasn't really in it

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)

it's raining here like it's got a quota to fill

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:54, archived)

Nah, the sun always shines on Surrey

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:06, archived)

i believe this statement may contain traces of lie

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)

Aha!'s lesser-known b-sidezzzzz

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:21, archived)

Yes

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:25, archived)

shit, isn't it?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:29, archived)

said the straining welshman

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:36, archived)

Don't mind, I'm in watching the rugby.
Bloody Welsh must be livid about the end of that game.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:41, archived)

haven't been watching
the parents have got flog it on
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:53, archived)

Your parents are fucking idiots.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:58, archived)

yes, they are
but it's too late to change them now
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:22, archived)

^Well outside the 30 day returns window

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:24, archived)

outside a 30 year returns window
fuck it, i'm off home for a smoke
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:30, archived)

it's a tad damp

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:58, archived)

it's gone bloody freezing now

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:22, archived)

It's always moist when I am around

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:39, archived)

Had a bit of a hailstorm earlier, for teh lulz.
I'm off bar-hopping and clubbing shortly, so if it pisses it down, I'm going to be dismayed.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:49, archived)

whats it to you copper

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:09, archived)

'ark at you, strolling back in here and running your mouth off

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:23, archived)

I hope so. I spent today scarifying and then reseeding the front lawn. Cunt birds keep trying to eat the seed though

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:38, archived)

a bird shat in my sausage roll bag today,
i may or may not have eaten bird poo
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:51, archived)

^ate bird poo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:05, archived)

i honestly don't know if i did or not,
i was half way through my sausage roll when i noticed there was poo in the bag, and on my sleeve, so some of it could have landed on the sausage roll and i'd not noticed, it was a Goan Spicy Pork sausage roll so i didn't know what that was supposed to taste like and i also don't know what bird poo tastes like.

It probably depends on the bird and what the bird has been eating i guess. And it may well have been eating sausage rolls, i dunno.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:08, archived)

A seagull once shat all down my arm as I pushed the button on a crossing. It was stood on the post.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:37, archived)

well i recently watched one swallow a whole carrier bag so i guess we're still winning as a species

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:40, archived)

I saw one necking the dregs of a can of special brew.
They're really horrible creatures.

I reckon my scale of birds has seagull at one end and crow at the other.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:41, archived)

yeah crows are ace,
i reckon out of all the birds if one is going to become sentient and start a civilisation it's gonna be crows.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:52, archived)

I saw a great video on YouTube recently showing them work out displacement and stuff with u shaped pipes with water in them.
They reckon they're comparable with dolphins and chimps in terms of intelligence. They know traffic light sequences and use them to drop and retrieve nuts after cars have cracked their shells.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:56, archived)

chimps are apparently going through their own stone age right now

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:59, archived)

Really? Got a link where I can read up on that?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:07, archived)

www.bbc.co.uk/earth/story/20150818-chimps-living-in-the-stone-age
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:13, archived)

this has reminded me
of Bob Todds used tampons
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:39, archived)

Did they turn up at the bottom of a bag of your sausage rolls?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:43, archived)

black puddings

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:44, archived)

Gads

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:56, archived)

Yeah, so that film Hidden Figures about the black women that were computers at nasa is fantastic.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:38, archived)

eveninh

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:15, archived)

Yo Fuck Yo Yo

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:19, archived)

Alright, it's bloody windy and bloody cold and I have not come prepared for being on the yard.
I may have to be a wimp and go hide in the car.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:20, archived)

Cuddle a horse, they seem warm

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:23, archived)

Alright gary numan

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 23:18, archived)

Lol

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 23:27, archived)

Yo yo get funky

(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:20, archived)

Funky fresh broadsword in the house.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:20, archived)

Tickling and tockling

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:30, archived)

say PLANET ROCK!!!!

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:16, archived)

Is this a afrika (oh i cant spell ) bombarta thing? Or am i way out

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:40, archived)

Or was it just the so solid crew ,dunno, years ago

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:42, archived)

Afrika Bum-Barter, more like.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afrika_Bambaataa#Sexual_abuse_allegations
(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 21:00, archived)

You not out for Paddy's yet

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:21, archived)

I'm no plastic Mick

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:31, archived)

~~no plastic M~~ a pr
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:44, archived)

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:53, archived)

I thought you said you had a Paddy's work do, my mistake , soz

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:52, archived)

I have fucking had it with the irish. When they're not wasting my time with their bloody ridiculous health beliefs they're fucking up my nice dinner out with their stupid loud horse-obsessed drunken violent uneducated unintelligible illiterate sexist
terrorist potato-eating emerald gypsy cuntery. They can fuck off back to father ted land the lot of them
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 23:11, archived)

Yeah. Homeboozing tonight.
Fucking hate boozers full of plastic famine-wogs. Also I can't find my 'Cromwell was RIGHT' T-shirt OR my 'Sunday Was A BLOODY GOOD START, YOU BABY EATERS!' one.
sadtimes.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:54, archived)

All the bellends that don't know how to order a drink in a pub just make it a chore.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:05, archived)

Yeah. See even real spud-wogs have figured that out by now.
Frankly if they started knee-capping pretend famine-niggers for wearing green the pub would be a better place.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:13, archived)

This and 'mad Friday' are the two days I actively avoid pubs.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:15, archived)

Accidentally wore some green cufflinks to work today and some stupid cunt mick thought it was for St Patricks Day.
You know who else loves green? Muslims. Draw your own conclusions.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 23:17, archived)

4/7

(

brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:56, archived)

alright brb

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:05, archived)

Y'awroight.
Been out, had a pint with some French people trying valiantly to speak English. The only one with a decent command of the language was a flaming queen and we didn't share very many topics of conversation, so I left.

On the way I stopped at the supermarket to get some energy drinks and a bottle of vodka, and the checkout girl was so busy chatting to her neighbour that she forgot to scan the vodka. Free St. Patrick's Day vodka all round.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:07, archived)

More fool you, it's poisoned, if you'd been honest she'd have told you and given you a replacement
Great way of culling the customers you don't want
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:12, archived)

Mebbe.
I'm about to have the first double, so if I'm not dead in half an hour, I'll let you know.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:13, archived)

You'll be in our thoughts and prayers

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:16, archived)

When I was in Iceland I clocked a hire car with a hand painted sign saying 'We're sorry, we're French :)'.
I found that far more humble and less aloof than my usual encounters with said people.

I'm off to see a hip-hop group backed by a brass band.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:13, archived)

There's bound to be a pun in here somewhere but I know nothing about hip hop and precious little about brass bands.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:28, archived)

Bandmaster Flash?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:33, archived)

Nice
Used because you are nice and your little family are nice and you hate the word nice, nice one
(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:58, archived)

nice biscuits are alright

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 22:15, archived)

+plays French Horn, his fav-our-ite brass is saxaphorn

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 21:06, archived)

Hey bro, I got something that'll blow ya mind
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 21:16, archived)

All white men i see, sexist and racist

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 22:24, archived)

Yeah, that'll do. Nice.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 21:11, archived)

Trombone Thugs N Harmony

(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 21:47, archived)

This is very good. As were they.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 22:35, archived)

Oooooh , the white one looks like a submariner or deep-sea, the black one, dunno, piss crowns but no crown guard? You have to refresh the page to see both teasers
m.rolex.com
(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 20:34, archived)

They're all obselete m8, you can get a 30 quid one from china that works as a phone and measures your heart rate.
Rolex need to get with the fucking times
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 23:23, archived)

i guess i'll do it then
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39295274

5/7
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:23, archived)

5/7
Not bad for living in a cave this week
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:28, archived)

yeah i can live with not knowing much about small american towns or ed sheeran

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:29, archived)

My life has an active Ed Sheeran block on it
It is genuinely positive to my health and wellbeing
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:40, archived)

If The LOVELY Binky was here we could all go 'OOOOHHH' at her candles.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:36, archived)

I'm glad she's dead

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

:(

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 19:54, archived)

6/7

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:39, archived)

same

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:40, archived)

5/7 also
QUIZ TWINZ
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:43, archived)

not trying that with a hangover, soz

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)

chicken

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:58, archived)

imagine a chicken with a hangover

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

imagine a chicken with a hangover going to the dentist

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:00, archived)

god help us

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:03, archived)

k wanking now

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:06, archived)

heehee
pointing at hungover chickens
(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 18:00, archived)

i don't care, my brain hasn't kicked in properly all day

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:01, archived)

200g of Baywatch DVDs and a punch bowl of kale milkshake.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:48, archived)

I only knew 1

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:49, archived)

one only knows you

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:50, archived)

woah

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:50, archived)

i'm just reading an article about what'll happen when the queen carks it
i hope it happens on a weekday morning as we'll get the rest of the day off work
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:00, archived)

I think I will go to work just to spite her

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:03, archived)

rude

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:05, archived)

Phil will go first that Greek bastard

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:12, archived)

Schofield?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:58, archived)

well yeah, but then you are the royal undertaker

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 17:12, archived)

www.vice.com/en_uk/article/london-rental-opportunity-of-the-week-potentially-the-worst-one-yet?utm_source=vicefbuk&utm_campaign=global
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:56, archived)

Ooh, thanks. I love these.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

I think it might be my favourite part of vice.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:07, archived)

yeah, i saw that earlier
unbelievable
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 15:59, archived)

That costs more than my mortgage

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:07, archived)

This is noteworthy because the cost seems unreasonably high when you consider the size of the property!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:23, archived)

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:29, archived)

oh i hadn't spotted that

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:36, archived)

Only eagle-eyed readers will!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:39, archived)

6 here
failed the last one. Fake question. Sad.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:12, archived)

Snoop dogg Your score: 5/7

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:18, archived)

I got 1.
I suck.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:29, archived)

We're 1 Twins!
And remember, you didn't get them wrong; you just didn't know the answer.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:34, archived)

bum quims, more like

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 17:53, archived)

i heard the police thanked the bloke as the dog was a know drug dealer and nonce
www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/dog-dies-after-being-attacked-122445/
(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:35, archived)

7/7

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:40, archived)

Never thought I'd live to see the day that chicken scratches get in the news
www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/family/what-eraser-challenge-dark-online-10045052#comments-section
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 16:58, archived)

Ha. One of my mates ended up with a balloon sized hand after refusing to back down on games of knuckles.
He didn't get in the paper; his dad just called him a stupid cunt.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 17:06, archived)

children are idiots

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 17:25, archived)

Load of poo
number two
(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 17:58, archived)

I think our events manager might be a genius.
We've got a "developing a Christian mind" conference in at the same time as a "science and the future of education" conference in. Apparently there was a fight in the bar last night.

Mismatched groups blah blah question mark? Friday.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:10, archived)

a proper punch up?

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:14, archived)

I doubt it to be honest.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:15, archived)

Now this is a proper tear up, be warned ,
i.imgur.com/Mri4PLt.gif
(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:37, archived)

sneaky bitch

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:40, archived)

FOUL

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:56, archived)

Homosexuals and normal people

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:17, archived)

Dunno
www.christiansagainstdinosaurs.com
(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:18, archived)

They're already dead, what more do they want?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:19, archived)

Ffs windy they never existed

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:20, archived)

Alien picnic leftovers, would explain why there are so few

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:21, archived)

something something live in concert something

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

amen

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:21, archived)

Hard to join the fb group, they are very suspicious

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:22, archived)

wankers

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:34, archived)

i only wanted to show them this for easter
www.chococo.co.uk/milk-dinosaur-egg.html
(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:40, archived)

nice

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:44, archived)

11 quid for less than 200g of chocolate?
that's a 3600% markup on cocoa.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:34, archived)

Here he goes again.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:35, archived)

Lol

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:38, archived)

wot?
just seems like a savvy business to me
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:39, archived)

This is more you
www.thepresentfinder.co.uk/buy/chocolate-building-blocks_2305.htm
(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:44, archived)

you can see in the pics that they don't even tesselate, what a gyp
I'd rather have Megablocs than that load of shit
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:47, archived)

I used to get them for my niece every Easter when she was little.
:D
And the pumpkin for halloween.
I am THE. BEST. UNCLE. EVER.
*Prouds*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:48, archived)

Awww, I'm definitely getting this for myself.
www.chococo.co.uk/milk-chococosaurus.html
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:50, archived)

will this do?
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006445831756
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:25, archived)

Lol, good find, I'll message him

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:26, archived)

nobody I'd rather be

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:36, archived)

I had a conversation a while ago with someone who (not for religious reasons, weirdly) denied the existence of dinosaurs
She was just being willfully ignorant. When she said that there was no evidence to suggest they even existed, I said "apart from the thousands of massive bones that have been found over the years." Her answer to that was that there was no proof that these bones all belonged to the same creature, and that scientists were just frankensteining all the bones together.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:33, archived)

she's in for a treat when she learns about the Cambrian explosion

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:36, archived)

Thing is, she spouts this nonsense in front of her kids!
I just hope they don't repeat this guff at school, for their sakes.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:37, archived)

*spoiler alert*
the IRA did it
(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:37, archived)

+P +TES

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:48, archived)

Denying it because it conflicts with your own beliefs regarding the creation of the universe is one thing
While I don't agree with that way of thinking, I understand it. But denying something based purely on the fact that you don't understand how it works? That's just stupid.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:36, archived)

Lol yeah, they just happen to fall next to each other, forming complete skeletons

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:37, archived)

But then even the bones that were found alone
paleontologists know what bones go where, because they're FUCKING PALEONTOLOGISTS. She annoyed me a bit.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

Yeah but to be fair to your thick mate, there HAS been some Frankensteining of dinosaur fossils in the past.
You've only got to look at theb Crystal Palace dinosaurs to see that.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:52, archived)

Well she's right in that they didn't all just belong to one single creature.
God could you imagine?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:49, archived)

oh come on now, really

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

A dinosaur with 100 million bones
god have mercy on us all
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

The toe bones connected to the ...

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:54, archived)

arse-hole

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

YOU RANG?

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:57, archived)

It would take a dedicated monastic order 1000 years to finish singing the song
if they started at "The leg bone connecka to the..."
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

put a decent breakbeat behind that, and Engima have got a new single

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:58, archived)

Monk rock

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:59, archived)

ooh, v good

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

i had a hare krishna try and sell me a cd outside a virgin megastore in nottingham
by describing the music as exactly that
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:03, archived)

One of those dudes gave me a book on spiritual enlightentment
I told him I didn't have any money and he said I could have it, as long as I read it. They're a great bunch of lads, aren't they.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:05, archived)

Some woman gave me one of those leaflets churches have. I said thanks then she asked if she could have my number to contact about events and stuff.
I channeled my inner Bartleby and told her 'I'd prefer not to'.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:11, archived)

They hand out free lunches in london, but to rich students at the lse, i don't get that

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:16, archived)

Sikh temples have feeds for everyone. You just need to go in.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:17, archived)

We had free sikh curry a couple of weeks ago
it was fucking beezer. They gave the boys crisps and drinks too. I gave them some money, but there was no obligation.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:20, archived)

Yeah i used to do work at the massive temple in Gravesend

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:22, archived)

They might have done.
I've SEEN That Kurt Russell documentary The Thing. There's no telling how big The Thing could get.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 14:11, archived)

Who was that Victorian palaentologist who argued that fossils had been placed in rocks by God to test our faith?
Wazzock.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

Sir Alan Wazzock

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:56, archived)

That's the badger.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:00, archived)

I've just had a sweet potato chilli burrito
It was fucking awesome and my head is now sweating

I was part of the mismatched group that ran a train on YM last night
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:47, archived)

I'm starting to think it was a mistake letting Poland join the EU

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:48, archived)

PO-LAND
Just say no
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:48, archived)

according to those shit celebrity rich sites
Herb Alpert is worth $850 million. That doesn't sound right
(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:50, archived)

Breakfast cereal costs a lot of money
PLAUSIBLE
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:51, archived)

why not?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:52, archived)

jews m8

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

I thought he was dead.
Actually I think I was thinking of Judd Hirsch but he isn't dead either.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

It is that sweet sweet coin you get for a Christmas album
At least.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

Well there are always tonnes of his records in the charity shops
so somebody's buying them
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:55, archived)

it was me

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:08, archived)

what was the best one?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:15, archived)

There's a "museum" in Boston for a weekly mag called Christian Science Monitor
The exhibitions in there have more mental gymnastics going on than a a Trump supporter. The homeopathy section alone was superb.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:51, archived)

Hang on. How the FUCK are Christians supposed to be allowed to do Homeopathy?
Wouldn't that come under Witchcraft?
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:55, archived)

Only if it worked.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:57, archived)

Oh yeah, I just remembered
When I went to Barcelona, I saw something I'd never seen before. Get this...an oriental rasta. Massive dreads, tie dye, big suspicious looking cigarette. Chinese, I reckon. I didn't ask him, obviously.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:52, archived)

lasta

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:53, archived)

Harry Serasie

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:56, archived)

I saw Lee Scratch Perry last week; he was smoking zoots on stage.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:56, archived)

Here, have a look and see what you reckon.
i.imgur.com/9GU4OVG.jpg?1
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:25, archived)

Ah, according to that, he may have been Korean

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 13:46, archived)

Screaming Queens and Bulldykes

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 12:59, archived)

#infest

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 14:03, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:07, archived)

As-Salaam-Alaikum.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:10, archived)

is that a type of sausage?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:17, archived)

Not everything has to be about food, you know.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:36, archived)

YES IT DOES!!!

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:24, archived)

^

(

vladimir, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:26, archived)

try telling that
to these dull pricks
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:56, archived)

Happy St Patrick's day.
May the luck of the Irish be with you and all your family always!!!!☘🍀☘🍀☘🍀☘🍀☘🍀❤💚
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:44, archived)

Why are you celebrating St Patrick's Day?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:46, archived)

My mother was Irish.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:47, archived)

being a brainwashed alcoholic who doesn't believe in birth control doesn't make her Irish m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 7:54, archived)

I'd rather you weren't mean about my mother.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:01, archived)

could you nominate an alternative pls
you can't say vladimir
(

vladimir, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:31, archived)

can i say vladimir?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:54, archived)

I have a read beard
does that make me semi-Irish/ginger/sad?
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:59, archived)

No. Not even a little bit.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:00, archived)

I have a well-read beard

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:00, archived)

A far l'amore comincia tu

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:05, archived)

what's with all this bullshit foreign language nonsense today?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:08, archived)

Solidarity with de Nederlanders and their ridiculous tolerance of Islams

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:12, archived)

mine's an invitation for sexual favours

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:15, archived)

Éirinn go Brách, ye shower of bastards.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:10, archived)

just stop it

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:29, archived)

I'll have you know I'm wearing a hairy green hat in the office right now.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

i.imgur.com/mJYoLCS.gifv
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:43, archived)

Tony (Leprec)hauk

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:44, archived)

The Grinch is face-sitting on you?

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

His knob grew three sizes that day

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:54, archived)

Funnily enough,
the hat does look as if it were made of Grinch pelt.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 10:37, archived)

~~ye shower of bastards~~
+Once you go black, you
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:33, archived)

pogue mahone

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:38, archived)

Fuckface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:20, archived)

give me your face and I will

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:29, archived)

Horbs xx

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:32, archived)

when the ship struck a rock BANG oh lord what a shock, the boat she was turned right over , went 9 times around, and the poor old dawg was drown, i'm the last of the irish rover... happy paddys

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:22, archived)

if only Eire would turn right over and drown the lot of them
problem solved
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:30, archived)

Happy Bangladeshi Children's Day!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:25, archived)

nah, forget them

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:30, archived)

If you drink four pints of Cobra, you get a foam turban

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:30, archived)

I don't even let the stuff touch my lips

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

You drink like a duck?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

sometimes

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:33, archived)

Cool

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:34, archived)

str8 up

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:36, archived)

^straw patrol

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:36, archived)

I prefer Kingfisher, hth.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:39, archived)

in countries with a lot of child terrorists with suicide vests
do kids still get to play Pass the Parcel?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:30, archived)

Of course they do
Kids love a bit of danger, don't they
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:32, archived)

^balcony jackson

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:38, archived)

^ Gerry McCann

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:46, archived)

fair play to him though
tapas is fucking lush
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:53, archived)

top o' the mornin' to you
to be sure
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:51, archived)

bit racist

(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:54, archived)

it's ok to oppress the irish, isn't it?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:58, archived)

sure
just be home in time for tea
(

$$ ✅, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:58, archived)

boiled bacon and cabbage tonight!

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:43, archived)

when will this cultural appropriation end

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:58, archived)

we're all irish round here
or sikh
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:20, archived)

fram de land av de liddle papal!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:58, archived)

Bit papist m8

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:15, archived)

I'm a serial papist

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:18, archived)

i.imgur.com/toDmsxT.gif
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 8:58, archived)

I do like R&M

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:00, archived)

Ay oop

(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:31, archived)

no northernisms please

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:37, archived)

this thread has really put me off starting any more morning threads

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 9:56, archived)

littlekideatingsand.jpg

(

mongychops, Fri 17 Mar 2017, 10:01, archived)

Ha!

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Mar 2017, 10:16, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »