10 PRINT "MORNING"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 7:10, archived)

SYSTEM

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 7:16, archived)

I mean, morning
How are the /talk this Monday morn?
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 7:16, archived)

salutations mupps & drimble
I have somewhere to go and then I will come back. but that's in a few hours.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 7:26, archived)

Hello both

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 7:29, archived)

Basic,
but effective.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 7:31, archived)

CRACKERJACK

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Apr 2017, 7:50, archived)

and Honky Jill
went up the racial tension hill
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:09, archived)

When I was a nipper,
my dad built a robot with a felt-tip pen that I could control using LOGO, and we got it to draw spirals and everything. Good toimes.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:12, archived)

My brother had a Lego Technics kit that did the same thing

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:29, archived)

I had a spirograph, like some sort of Luddite.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:44, archived)

Yer, I had those too
until the dog ate them
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)

did it do intricate spiral shits?

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)

We wrote routines in that in high school, lolold

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)

hi de hi

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:22, archived)

ho de ho

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)

finally

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:28, archived)

what's up y'all

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:31, archived)

four day week!!!!!!!!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)

lots of holy days of obligation coming up tho, god bless the pope

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:50, archived)

I'm spending the weekend pace-egging, demanding eggs and strong beer from all the neighbours

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)

most Catholic* country in Europe
and Friday is a working day here


*self-defined because piousness is pointless if you don't tell everyone
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

I was going to say it's not , don't really understand why they'd say it is

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)

Vatican City would probably win a "most Catholic country" contest.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)

is the pope catholic?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)

You're thinking of bears, m8.
The pope shits in the woods.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:30, archived)

because the Pope was Polish and all other popes since them have been false
This is the genuine rhetoric spouted by newspapers here.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:27, archived)

Don't tell me you've got an alternative pope?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:30, archived)

pope john paul 2, was a pole, but they should really move on

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)

I'm holding out for Pope John Paul: The Revenge.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:37, archived)

Pope³
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)

Alien3 is my favourite film in the Alien franchise.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)

of course it is

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

Only the extended "work print" version, though.
The theatrical release is terrible.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:46, archived)

There's a video somewhere what I got off "the internet", it too has a dog inside a cow

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:35, archived)

Disgusting.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)

good name for a band

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:35, archived)

I once saw a T-shirt that implied that Pope John Paul II was won't to partake of cannabis cigarettes.
I think you can imagine how massively lol I found this to be!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:41, archived)

Oh my goodness, imagine that!
They took great advantage of 'Pope' rhyming with 'Dope', I'll be bound!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)

Yes!
I knew you'd appreciate the clever wordplay.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)

you'll probably like these
they're... something else!
www.pungents.com/tag/pope-puns/
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:00, archived)

Comedy gold!
They've really earned that Seal Of Quality that they've awarded themselves.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)

static4.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_small/0/6767/155743-18916-111792-1-battle-pope-genesis.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)

Does he shoot people with a Canon?
*bows*
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

It's been a while since I've read it so I'm not 100%
But I think he mitre done
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

Only 2 days, for me.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

heathen

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)

and it's Siblings Day!
yesssssssssssssssssssssssss!
( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

spare a thought for those without siblings and therefore tend to have reached adulthood lacking some basic social skills

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)

no
no I won't
( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

that's fair, the spoilt pricks are too used to getting their own way

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)

hold on
I've got two brothers and there's no denying that all three of us are socially crippled.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:07, archived)

not sure how this is relevant

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)

oh no
I'm going to start a morning thread on Friday and no-one will reply :(
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)

I'll get up to post

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)

hi everyone!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

Hi, manolith!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

alright, settle down

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

When are you going to ban that fruit cake ?

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

which one? what have i missed?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)

Just ban him already

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)

There was a spanishfly thread that was a bit....meltdowny
looks like he deleted it.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)

he told me to stick him back on ignore
so I did
( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:16, archived)

I understand that he's not well
but you can't talk like an idiot, then whine when you're called out on it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)

I'm not here to judge, only to condemn

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:26, archived)

And I respect your stand point
I just want him to leave this place well alone, and get some help. There.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:31, archived)

i don't care if he gets any help, i just want him banned so the forum can move on

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:32, archived)

that's not very christian

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)

i'm a catholic mate, nothing christian about us

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:34, archived)

I hope he never leaves.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:34, archived)

oh in that case, ban monster munch too

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:36, archived)

you're an idiot

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:54, archived)

I wonder if he's this mental at work

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:36, archived)

i'm sure he's said this mentalness is just an online act, not sure i believe that

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:38, archived)

defo beyond lol wakki

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:39, archived)

no your upset

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:16, archived)

^upsetest

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)

my crippling autism prevents me from experiencing emotions like upset

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)

oh, you too?
no, wait...
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:15, archived)

NOH! IT IS *YUH* WHO AH DE OPSET WONN.
*YUH*! DO YUH ONNERSTAH MIH?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:20, archived)

heeeeeeeeeeeeeey

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:08, archived)

+baby, ooh, ah. i wanna knooooooow etc

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:11, archived)

I started to watch the russian version of it's always sunny
yeah, dunno why
( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)

In Philadelphia, sunny is always you!
Haha, like those Yakov Smirnoff routines that no one has ever seen, but everyone has heard of!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

In old country I kill bear for fun

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)

ah

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)

is mac still gay in it?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:53, archived)

yeah
but as it's Russian they really ramp up the homophobia
( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)

fuck

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)

+ off jews

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:07, archived)

woah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)

f s
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)

well they're more hygenic, aren't they

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)

"Is your penis kosher?"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)

Well it's never caused an animal pain, if that's what you mean

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:27, archived)

That's no way to speak about Mrs Hats.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:31, archived)

she said the word "penus" in front of Manolith recently
I didn't know where to look. So I looked at my penus.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:34, archived)

Truly shocking behaviour.
Poor monolith.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:39, archived)

just because she asked, he didn't have to show her it

( mongychops, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

Ladies' privilege, innit?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

she did!
good job there was no talk of helmits or i'd have probably fainted
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:56, archived)

I would've stormed out, m8
You know me, I'm sensitive to these things
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:59, archived)

is that really how you want to present yourself to the world today?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:11, archived)

I'm just getting started, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)

I'm wondering if my email's broken, or I've just not recieved any emails today
I'd prefer the latter
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:38, archived)

I'll send one now

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)

thx m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)

My mailbox is almost full
I know this because I keep receiving emails to advise me
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

I'm off to Lisbon tomorrow.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)

nice

( $$ ✅, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:13, archived)

is that those chicks who like to kiss other chicks?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:20, archived)

Oh God I hope so

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:21, archived)

Shaft!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)

Piss Bum more like!

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:22, archived)

I've just found out there's a company in Hamburg called Gunt.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)

this is bound to make funny name corner in this week's newsletter

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:22, archived)

I think the Magic Donkey has died.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)

SEND HELP

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 11:02, archived)

no soz

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 10 Apr 2017, 11:04, archived)

Alright sweaties.

(ian rush's inadequate flushes, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 19:56, archived)

yo

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:02, archived)

This place is fair bustling these days.

(ian rush's inadequate flushes, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:06, archived)

Shambles.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:08, archived)

I've spent longer on the pub than intended to. Prolly going to go to the awful Chinese down the road and watch telly then have a wank

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:10, archived)

Yes, that's exactly what I'll do.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:11, archived)

Perfect Sunday. Well done.

(ian rush's inadequate flushes, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:11, archived)

No Top Gear thanks to the golf

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:13, archived)

Not so bad as it would have been if it were worse than it was.
Might watch a film I've seen before and arse around with my phone, for what's left of Sunday evening.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:42, archived)

I heard you were dead.
lol, The Running Man!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 21:05, archived)

sup negroes

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 21:17, archived)

i.imgur.com/Q1wwQeN.gifv
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 9 Apr 2017, 22:23, archived)

Get a haircut.
Damn hippies.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 22:32, archived)

Lazy Sunday morning thread
It's fucking beautiful outside, so to celebrate I'm going to draw the curtains and wait under artificial light for the F1 replay.

How are you going to fritter away the one good day of the year? You can say Hitler
( H.B.Mupps, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 9:36, archived)

Might weed the garden

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)

d +in
( H.B.Mupps, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)

nen dead
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 10:08, archived)

Probably sit in the pub complaining about how busy it is

( mongychops, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)

Doesn't sound like a bad idea actually
Might do the same later
( H.B.Mupps, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 9:57, archived)

Apparently, it's my b3ta birthday!
14 years!Good lord!
(chuffster, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

I bet you're chuffed!
oh hahaha
( $$ ✅, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 12:00, archived)

14 years of scrounging off rob's server fees

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 12:20, archived)

But no candles.
You a hacker, or summat?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 13:14, archived)

Wizard

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 13:19, archived)

I dunno what's happened there!
(chuffster, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 15:33, archived)

merry candlemass, for what it's worth.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 13:45, archived)

Cheers :)
(chuffster, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 15:33, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:00, archived)

I am making a wordpress site for all my lego tutorials
thrilling stuff
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 12:19, archived)

The worst bit of holiday is the stop in a shit service station halfway back,
Because the big breakfast breakfast had at the hotel has caught up with me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 9 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)

Windows 10 continues to be a steaming pile of shit,
so I'm sat indoors, trying to work out why the mother-in-law's laptop gets stuck when booting up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

I'm genuinely worried what I'll do when Windows 7 is no longer supported
8.1 was a steaming pile as well.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 13:42, archived)

You can still upgrade to w10 if you pretend you're a spaz.
I took delivery of a used Lenovo x230 this weekend. Shoved an ssd in it and dual booted w10 with Debian, boots either in seconds.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 14:09, archived)

That's all well and good,
but Windows 10 is massively shit. An OS that breaks under it's own updates should not be released to the general public. I'm happy to dick around with my Linux installs but a) it's free and b) we can all kid ourselves that "20xx will be the year on Linux on the desktop," but we know it's a hobby OS for nerds - I'd expect to spend time recovering files from a free, hobby OS (but I don't have to), but not from a commercial offering from what is possibly the world's largest software house (but I do, 'cos Windows 10 is a shitty excuse for an operating system).

#calmdownmonstermunch
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:27, archived)

Ironically when fixing other people's computers puppy has supported all the hardware out the box and windows has baulked after a format.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:57, archived)

Puppy is great.
First Linux I ever tried, when someone asked me to freshen up a load of old (very old) XP laptops they'd acquired. Great fun.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 19:23, archived)

She needs a new laptop.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 13:56, archived)

She was going to buy a new one, anyway,
as this one struggles when she runs an Ubuntu VM on it, so something with a better processor and more RAM, but she wasn't planning on losing all her files beforehand.
Another handy reminder that, with all the backup options available to me, I really should make use of at least one of them.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:30, archived)

disable fast boot - older hardware/drivers don't like it.
www.howtogeek.com/243901/the-pros-and-cons-of-windows-10s-fast-startup-mode/
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 14:15, archived)

Laptop is less than a year old.
I think the latest update got installed, which is causing it to freeze after log in, and System Restore ends in failure (something to do with it not being able to write to an Apps folder). Fucked around in the BIOS to disable Fastboot and UEFI, in the hopes that I could boot from a Puppy CD, to backup her files before doing anything to endanger them, but no dice. Might open it up and hook the SSD to my PC for backup purposes. Way more hassle than it has any right to be, though.
Fuck Windows 10, fuck UEFI, fuck Microsoft, and fuck Asus. Just fuck the whole fucking lot of them.
/nerdrant
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:07, archived)

Put Solaris on it mate.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:27, archived)

It rejected all the Linux CD/DVDs I stuck in it.
I think it might be cursed.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:32, archived)

may not be properly shutting down then?
let it try to boot to 10 for a bit and then keyboard in: win+x, u, r to restart with linux disc in - presuming bios knows to look for one
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:43, archived)

Nah, shuts down with a little persuasion, it's booting up that's the problem (anything after the login screen is either blank, or frozen).
BIOS knows there's a CD to boot from, but accepted none of them as bootable. It's a pain in the arse.
[rant about Windows not properly shutting down by design, here]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 19:19, archived)

bastards
whilst it appears blank or frozen a working os may lurk beneath... if so keyboard shortcuts are your friend here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_of_keyboard_shortcuts
all keyboard shortcuts should be applied with a huge dollop of patience on top. if you get bored winx ur to restart again.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:32, archived)

Tried loads of keyboard shortcuts, already.
Thanks for trying, though. Might try to boot it to a command prompt, tomorrow, pretend it's 1993 again.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:50, archived)

no worries - good luck
this method just happened to fix a couple of old laptops that passed thru for upgrade recently so thought it may be more common than recognised with win 10
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 20:55, archived)

Yeah, we do seem to have moved away from using the keyboard, in recent years.
I can remember getting a ticking off at work experience when the boss' mouse packed up and I came over and worked his PC with keyboard alone - he was pleased, yet ticked off that I'd made him look an idiot in front of his boss!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 21:03, archived)

For fuck's sake don't install Solaris on anything ever it's an awful operating system.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 16:58, archived)

Might download it to torture myself with.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 19:21, archived)

It's an Oracle interpretation of Unix
Dunno if I have to spell this out, but Oracle are cunts.

"why would anyone need case insensitive find".
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 19:24, archived)

Yeah, I just googled it.
Ever tried BSD?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 19:25, archived)

Yes I have. I don't really understand the difference between bsd an Linux.
It's all to do with licensing isn't it? As a beardy socialist I think Linux is for me whereas bsd is for angry right-wingers.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 19:28, archived)

No idea, but that distinction amuses me greatly!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 21:04, archived)

Just barbecued and ate an entire rabbit, accompanied by green salad, farmhouse bread and beer.
Barbecued Camembert to follow, then coffee and chocolate flan. I feel like I'm winning at this particular Sunday.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 14:02, archived)

I am using my pc.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 15:03, archived)

maybe write some J-pop

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 17:22, archived)

K pop is better

( mongychops, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 17:24, archived)

gotta start somewhere

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 17:30, archived)

Bit violent

( mongychops, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 18:01, archived)

Happy day after the grand national I hope loads of people have heart attacks
I don't know if I have ever shared this but my sons name is Noah. I hope he rides the wave
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 5:53, archived)

early morning personals? I do not have a sons.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 7:00, archived)

so, did anyone give someone money
in an attempt to make even more money, dependant on the outcome of an equine sporting event?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 17:38, archived)

well not me i don't do that sort of thing

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 18:03, archived)

i don't bet on horses myself
most of my family did, though, and they all picked the winner because my recently deceased uncle was called Arthur
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 18:13, archived)

my dad was always big on it,
he always used to lose, maybe that's what put me off i dunno
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 18:14, archived)

i'm put off by not liking horses
and liking even less the idea of animals dying for something classed as sport
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 18:18, archived)

yeah maybe that too,
but i generally just don't get the entertainment value of gambling tbh, but my dad used to be crazy for it, he'd get programs on the computer where you'd type in all the past results and race conditions and everything and it would work out the odds for you. it never worked, obviously.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 18:31, archived)

I bet on 90% fatalities

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 18:15, archived)

so do i
but that has nothing to do with horses
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 18:19, archived)

Nah, been busy in my seagull outfit pooing on b3tans

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 19:09, archived)

standard

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 23:17, archived)

Villa let me down on a 9 team acca
That would have been worth significant.

All horses are bent.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 20:47, archived)

Hello team.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 8 Apr 2017, 9:25, archived)

Hi.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)

Winders, my dear boy

( $$ ✅, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)

There's some sort of bird of prey swooping around out here.
Any idea what it is? Smaller than a red kite but sort of similar
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 8 Apr 2017, 9:58, archived)

I think it might be the 'small red kite'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:06, archived)

Oh, cool.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:07, archived)

I'm an expert in bird law
and this isn't true
( $$ ✅, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)

Its just not governed by reason.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:49, archived)

alright baldmonkey

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)

Ornate hawk-eagle
you've probably eaten too many of its eggs
( $$ ✅, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)

Or not enough

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 11:02, archived)

hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:12, archived)

I read spanishfly says you're an autism.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:14, archived)

it's all true
That's why I wrote an angry tirade against stuj and put sf on ignore
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:37, archived)

so true

( $$ ✅, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:50, archived)

Fit like?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 11:15, archived)

Hey Mickey you're so fine

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 12:12, archived)

You're supposed to use the word "squad" now
according to the cool kids
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 12:29, archived)

(the growing influence of military combat games)

( bearhunt is drinking tea with wreckless abandon, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 12:51, archived)

Pfft

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 6:04, archived)

In 6 posts...well 5 now...hang on...anyway it will be my 10,000th post on talk.
With a board as dead and moribund as this one isn't that something worth celebrating?

Don't I normally have to have sex with turquoise hexagon sun or mongychops makes me wear a Watch around my Cock?

Or tangles stops being an autistic? Or does everyone just get along and take me off ignore and go fuck yourselves
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 6:06, archived)

Too much coffee, this morning?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 7:49, archived)

No had the police here because apparently me sending messages to my ex asking when I can see my son is harassment he horrible fucking Cunt

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)

But that happened a long time after I posted that.
This could be the 10000th post I dunno
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)

no worries

( $$ ✅, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 8:22, archived)

Fuck off and put me back on ignore

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 10:16, archived)

no worries

( $$ ✅, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 11:20, archived)

Alright /talk you bunch of wanna be gangsters! BBBBRRRAHHH!
I have been out in my car with the top down, had a haircut from the Turks.

And this is the best bit...waited in all day for DFS to deliver my custom built furniture...only for them to not turn up at all.

What had pissed you off today?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 18:22, archived)

my in laws showed up 10mins after I put the kid to sleep
and woke it up despite being warned to keep their bloody voices down.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 18:32, archived)

How old is the little un?
Just kick em out. Fucking cunts.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 18:44, archived)

14 months
My MiL is a shrill little dwarf, so when she sees a baby her voice reaches a pitch that confuses bats.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 18:48, archived)

My little lad is 2 next month. He's a terror but a loveable one.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 18:53, archived)

I've actually had a pretty good one today.
I did start flipping out a bit this morning during court interpreting as I arrived early and the client's lawyer wouldn't answer her phone, so I couldn't find her. She finally turned up with the client in tow five minutes before the hearing was due to start.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 20:02, archived)

I've had a pretty good day.
Nice afternoon's beer-garden boozing, and now I'm home. Gonna watch Stakeland 2 and booze up some more.
'Ning The LOVELY Span Eff.
'Ning The LOVELY /talk
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 7 Apr 2017, 21:07, archived)

Lots of people got their knickers in a twist over your comments About autists
Especially TUIB she 2.0 me just for agreeing with you haha
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Apr 2017, 2:26, archived)

Barry's top tips.
Need somewhere to aimlessly stare at while listening to records and getting pissed/stoned?

Simply put How it's Made on quest on your muted telly.

These are basically the visuals I had for an ambient act I saw live recently she it worked well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 22:27, archived)

now that mongy's blanked all his popular page
In my mind I replaced the content of each post with this face, leering at whoever's trolling face.

What face do you think other forum users have?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:29, archived)

I try not to think about such things.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:33, archived)

that's because you look like wilf lunn

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:38, archived)

I used to be compared to Griff Rhys Jones.
Make of that what you will.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:57, archived)

You do strike me as the sort of person who'd sit in a boat moaning while your mates drink in a pub.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:07, archived)

a o
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:08, archived)

lol, "motes"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:09, archived)

sit in a boot?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:20, archived)

Piloting a boat down a canal, with regular pub stops,
is pretty much my ideal holiday.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:10, archived)

It's all fun and games until someone does a Malcolm Hardee :(

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)

Never heard of him.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:17, archived)

He was big in the alternative comedy scene, the compare at The Tunnel Club.
He died in 2005 falling off the quay trying to get into his boat. The police divers said he was still clenching a bottle underwater when they found the body.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:18, archived)

I see.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:29, archived)

Jo Brand had an affair with him.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:31, archived)

i got mistaken for her by some japanese tourists in spain
in my defence, i'd been on a 3-day bender
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:50, archived)

My former boss got mistaken for Britney Spears on holiday in Vietnam.
The only thing they have in common is that they're both blonde.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 15:03, archived)

hahaha!
did you ex boss give them an autograph? i was massively hungover and told the tourists to fuck off. as i'm from fairly close to where jo brand is from(i think), telling them to fuck off just made them more convinced
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 15:07, archived)

She was too weirded-out to think of that, IIRC.
Alighting after a peaceful trip down the river with your partner and having a bunch of village kids run after you yelling "Britney Spears! Britney Spears!" was apparently a little disorientating.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 15:09, archived)

i imagine it was

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 15:25, archived)

i saw him numerous times, normally at up the creek and nearly always naked, he was shit

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:36, archived)

I did that two years ago
Canal users are absolute wankers. Twats living on barges by the canalside insisting that you can only go past with your engine on idle, which means your 15m long floating house can't even do walking speed, so it takes a million years to get anywhere. You get to a lock and the cunt in front won't let you share because he's a dildo, which means when he leaves you have to wait for the lock to drain (or fill) to get in because he's left it the opposite way you need it to be, and ten minutes later you catch up to him at the next lock and wait, and wait, and repeat that 20 more times till you climb the hill to the next pub.

It makes my blood boil just thinking about it. I fucking hate Wiltshire.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:17, archived)

I've had pretty much the opposite experience,
barring the woman who'd decided to moor up right next to a lock, then moaned endlessly about tourists bumping into her boat.

First time I did it, I rarely took the engine very far above idle, as I was driving drink pretty much the entire time.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:19, archived)

We set ourselves an ambitious target
Reading to Bath and back in a week. Did the Caen Hill locks in under two hours.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:21, archived)

Going quick on a narrowboat holiday seems at odds with the purpose of the thing.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:23, archived)

It was the highest-adrenaline adventure my brother was prepared to go on
Setting an ambitious target was the only way to stave off the crushing mundanity of river-caravanning.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:27, archived)

Only you could make getting pissed near a bit of water sound tedious.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:31, archived)

because it is
You could have all the same thrills by just going to a pub, with none of the diesel fumes, cooking on a pathetic 2-ring gas hob, or showering in ice cold water while crouching like a goblin. Barge holidays are like some sort of middle class flagellation where pie and mash and a pint at the end of the day magically becomes a feast fit for a king, because the pub toilets are human-sized.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:35, archived)

           .  _ _  
        ,_.'`' ` `"-,
      .-`_,.-,' `_;-.\
       -`     `,/(-,\_
              / _)\_  `-.
           ,   /o)\(o.'-.\
          /  | -'  \\ `. `\
          |  |  _.-'.;  \  |
          |  |.'     :`\ \ |
         /|  |      o |o| `
        /  \ |`.  ._ / /
            `   `-...'`

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:37, archived)

clickin dis

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:40, archived)

Well, I like it.
Then again, I enjoy camping, and that's even worse.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:42, archived)

I find the idea of camping nicer than the reality.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:44, archived)

get an aqua m3 bivvy and do it in style
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1230913373/bivvylol.jpg
( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:59, archived)

i should take you carp fishing for a weekend, you'd get a moaning novel out of it

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:55, archived)

I'd prolly enjoy it
You've got something to aim towards, rather than a pointless alcoholic bimble.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 15:23, archived)

We went to Bath, last time.
Decided to give Caen Hill a miss, though - too much like hard work.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:28, archived)

As a teenager I serviced boats for Anglo-Welsh.
The people that live in boats are weirdo pricks and the people that rent them for holidays typically shouldn't even be driving an electric razor.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:20, archived)

I'd quite like to live out a chunk of my retirement on a narrow boat.
My "weirdo prick" credentials are certainly strong enough.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:32, archived)

Fat with loads of chins or something, lol fat, like on "teh internet"!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)

I always imagined Mongy looks a bit like a younger, more working class Boycie.
Probably with a more squeaky voice.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1206370899/20060915france0011.jpg
( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:44, archived)

Who's the good looking guy holding you, oh haha

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:48, archived)

I am about 10 years more worn now

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:52, archived)

I reckon you look like a taller, thinner Tom Savini.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)

I can't grow a moustache, let alone a beard like that

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:44, archived)

Are corpse paint and facial hair mutually exclusive?
Only, you know, I've never seen a bearded black metal fan
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:46, archived)

I think it's more likely that people who put on corpsepaint
are too young to grow a full beard. I was 17 when I stopped wearing it.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:51, archived)

Well that's just Andy Kaufmann then isn't it?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)

my hair was blond before it went grey

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:53, archived)

got a bit of a thing for him

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:51, archived)

not sure

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:45, archived)

Like the V for Vendetta face but chubbier.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:45, archived)

I look fucking gorgeous.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:49, archived)

gorge delici
+ from a fly's perspective
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:54, archived)

geou mles
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 15:24, archived)

Depending on how well I've been looking after myself I usually get Stephen Merchant or Jarvis Cocker.
Manfredd Mann is a more accurate likeness but fewer people I know have any idea who that is.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:52, archived)

faces for radio

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:56, archived)

+e

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)

I made sure to get the front half of the skull too this time so they keep their shape, but I want something decent, Bose or better

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

I suspect mongy has many faces
Watch faces, i mean. Oh hahaha
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:17, archived)

Oh hahahahaha

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:24, archived)

I've facebook stalked most of you so I don't need to imagine what your faces are like

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:41, archived)

really?
what do I look like?
( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:42, archived)

that's not your face in your profile picture

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:48, archived)

I don't even own a facebook

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:50, archived)

I know, I'm looking at your bebo profile

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:53, archived)

bebo Grindr
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:58, archived)

I imagine that Maffers
has a head like a lego man.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 13:53, archived)

Haha, what a freak!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:05, archived)

obligatory
frinkiac.com/img/S05E06/928376.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:08, archived)

Some of you lot have called me potato-esque
That's one hell of a pretty potato.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:10, archived)

..."the good news is that we've saved your eyes,
the bad news is that you'll be a vegetable for the rest of your life. "
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)

img.clipartall.com/mr-potato-head-clipart-mr-potato-head-clip-art-736_458.jpg
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:20, archived)

^Strax

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:49, archived)

dunno
i probably know what half the regular posters look like. the others are just twitter egg avatars
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:24, archived)

I'm a bot AMA

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:32, archived)

bot bot

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:36, archived)

Select all squares with road signs
If there are none, click skip
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:37, archived)

the face of despair
and acne
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 14:33, archived)

Bom diggy diggy diggy
Bom diggy bom.

Music is the vibe.
How's your vibe today?

You got good vibes for the weekend?

YM had good vibes last night.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:18, archived)

Morning Jay
I'd just posted a thread but you got there first. I do indeed have good vibes for the weekend. The promise of large amounts of drinking, a massive chilli to cook and roast lamb on Sunday, interspersed with my car deciding to be fucked and going to the Sunderland match on Sunday brings balance to the Force

I'll also be gettin' my run on in the morning
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:20, archived)

You should get here more often M8. We need the numbers.
OT is dead
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:50, archived)

I try to get on here as often as I can
I dont think it helps that each post appears to take 5 mins to actually work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:25, archived)

your posts are being checked by a mod before being released onto the site

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:32, archived)

pffft
Like we even have mods any more

RIP b3th, wherever she went
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:40, archived)

bit disappointed this post hasn't been mod edited as a show of strength

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:30, archived)

I've got some time off for good behaviour this weekend
might up my wank rate.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)

Well goodness gracious me.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:32, archived)

kiss my chuddies!!!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)

I didn't get a morning thread reply so I'm having a sulk.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:32, archived)

sympathy reply

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:50, archived)

The kick start on my motorbike came back on a misfire and smashed me in the shin and now I'm sad.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:52, archived)

cheer up
Parcelforce should leave you a "while you were out" note today, so you've got that to look forward to.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:58, archived)

Hmmm, I got one yesterday.
Is it the sort of box size that a neighbour is going to refuse to take in.
Oh god, what name is on it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:00, archived)

your username lol
It's a pretty large box (18" x 18" x 24" maybe), but it's not heavy.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:03, archived)

If I wasn't so pleased to have the bits, I'd be annoyed.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:05, archived)

That's the price you pay for your eastern european discount.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:46, archived)

Mornholes hun xo

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:52, archived)

bum figgy, more like
you deviant
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:34, archived)

I'm not sure a fig has the structural integrity to be pushed up a bum

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:42, archived)

the name is misleading, you actually use a piece of ginger
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figging
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)

Oh, well that makes more sense

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:48, archived)

buying root ginger right now

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:11, archived)

I'll be round at six

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)

I better shower first

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:44, archived)

no don't

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

okay

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:49, archived)

so bring us some figgy pudding

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)

Can I employ B3ta to make my website/viral?
Rob, Denise and Cal regularly take on freelance projects, sometimes as a team and sometimes individually - you can contact them through their personal websites.
However, B3ta itself is not an agency and cannot put its name to your commercial product.
( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:38, archived)

Fuck em then, cunts

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:39, archived)

That furtive bear is a capitalist shill and we all know it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)

Worked for PACT coffee...
Oh no, wait, the other thing...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)

Future Islands have an album out today
This is the one good thing I can muster at the moment. Kids, don't work in the software game, it is harsh and makes you work weekends when it is sunny outside.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:03, archived)

I work in the software game
I only worked at the weekends when I had a prick client. Never again.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:04, archived)

We are a prick company it seems
50% of the company are going to be filling overtime this weekend.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:09, archived)

the only person in my team who appears to work late and cancel holidays is the delivery manager
He took a week off this week and everything's going so much smoother without him.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:15, archived)

i just got one of the new quids in my change, might go on the piss to celebrate

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:46, archived)

Oh wow
Nice going
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)

the special magicarp still elude me

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:13, archived)

Listening to the new Kairon, IRSE! album
Finnish psychadelic rock, fuzzy guitar fans.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

I like this
That Leprous are pretty good as well, thanks for the tip
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:06, archived)

no worries
For Leprous, I got started with Bilateral but Congregation is also a pretty good album; it just gets a bit samey.

If you like this softer stuff, Motorpsycho's "Here Be Monsters" is great.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 12:20, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 7:35, archived)

Morning chapeaus
Off on the piss this afternoon, perfect grey weather for it
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 7:45, archived)

temperature's plummeted here
Russian winds sweeping in, stiff nipples abound.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 7:52, archived)

Cor!
Nipples, eh? Lads? Eh?
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

nipples go on breasts!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)

Early(ish) trip to the park, for me.
There'll be balls everywhere, mark my words.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)

you can use grindr these days m8
no need to hang out in public toilets outside work hours
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:19, archived)

see you there m8

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:50, archived)

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)

I figured some dullard wrote a script to auto-like all of your posts using hacked accounts
because the alternative is so, so much more tragic
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:32, archived)

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:36, archived)

so someone's clicking them manually?
Sad.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)

Yeah, what kind of sad, lonely prick would do something so banal?
*hurriedly tries to find a way to undo clicks*
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:47, archived)

It certainly doesn't have the finesse of the all Two Hats domination

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

surely nobody here would get so upset as to wage some weird inexplicable vendetta against you or two hats?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

is it a vendetta?
I thought it was some sort of fawning adoration thing.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)

I'm not saying it's fucksocks
but when the next person who suddenly gets so popular is another one who he has repeatedly insisted is upset with him I won't be surprised
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:16, archived)

▄██████████████▄▐█▄▄▄▄█▌
██████▌▄▌▄▐▐▌███▌▀▀██▀▀
████▄█▌▄▌▄▐▐▌▀███▄▄█▌
▄▄▄▄▄██████████████
▀▀▀▀█████████████▀

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)

so $$ then?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)

Am I going to get raped?

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)

i dunno but someone has taken the initiative here. your posts now have one click each

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:27, archived)

Imma click a few of them
just to break the mongy chain
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)

clickin dis

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:32, archived)

now it's on
I'm going to do an ocular patdown anyone who comes near me today
( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:30, archived)

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091110075727AAJTUyK
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)

sensible
get a pair of these to be on the safe side
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)

I'm going to bum you into next week

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)

good job it's not a bank holiday weekend

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:31, archived)

spurned lovers

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

sometimes the pain of losing someone, it burns

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)

( mongychops, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

they lack any real power and are as scared as you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)

hey, you're not supposed to tell people

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:20, archived)

Good morning.

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)

How do you do?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)

I feel like I've been gang raped by a bunch of autisms

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:47, archived)

how do you know what that feels like?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

I'm just guessing
A lot of screaming and hitting that kind of thing
( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)

I thought they'd spend so much time trying to arrange your anal beard
that their willies would go floppy
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)

again

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

+st

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

wanna hold it against me?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)

sure

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)

a check out my massive
+z bro
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)

moomin

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)

^ snufkin

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)

yes m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)

damn str8 m8

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)

The common prejudice that love is as common as "romance"
may be due to the fact that we all learned about it first through poetry.
But the poets fool us; they are the only ones to whom love is not only a crucial,
but an indispensable experience, which entitles them to mistake it for a universal one.
( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)

Well,
Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:11, archived)

Well,
Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:08, archived)

hi piggles!!!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)

Morning Grrrmachine
My new furniture arrives today. I can't wait.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)

is it flat pack?
I bet it's flat pack
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

No it's a suite

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)

Good morning Roy Orbison

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:30, archived)

Morning. What are your views on labia stretching?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)

can't see any from here

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

Yes I know, my fedora is in the way.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

I think it's an important part of a labia workout
you don't want to do permanent damage due to lack of preparation
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:20, archived)

A labia sprain can put you out of action for weeks

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)

Are you thinking of branching out in to unusual cosmetic surgery?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:22, archived)

There's plenty of money to be made in female genital mutilation.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:49, archived)

I'll have a go but I'm no expert

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:22, archived)

Is this like hanging weights from your penus, but for women?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:32, archived)

Dunno, haven't watched the video yet.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39448355
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)

Mulholland Drive is being shown at my local cinema later in the month but it's on prime video now.
Tough decisions.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)

Don't watch either

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:37, archived)

I don't mind Lynch films. Wild at Heart is a belter.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)

do you want to sit in a dark room with a load of other blokes
watching a crying blonde wank herself off?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:39, archived)

So you're saying I should watch it at home in case the mood takes me?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)

there's quite a lot of tit in it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 7 Apr 2017, 10:02, archived)

top get

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:11, archived)

good lad

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:12, archived)

oh well played

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:14, archived)

Do you know what
I thought he'd do something like this, but he's often his own worst enemy. He lets the self-doubt creep in, then BANG. It's all over. But he overcame it, he took the bull by the horns, and he bloody well got that top get, pardon my french!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:17, archived)

It's like you've known me all my life

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:18, archived)

I calls 'em like I sees 'em

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:19, archived)

He should put 'em away.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:30, archived)

^whale biologist

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:56, archived)

lol

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:24, archived)

"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli!"

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:26, archived)

i had to google that
should probably give seinfeld a try some day. it seems pretty polarising though
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:28, archived)

you have to persevere with it
season 4 is my favourite
( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:29, archived)

This^
I was going to lend Manolith one of the seasons on DVD, but couldn't decided which. You really have to watch all of them. Worth it though.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:31, archived)

I have every season on my laptop
I will copy them for you
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:30, archived)

"No soup for you!"
Aaahahahaha! So funny!
That was from Seinfeld, wasn't it? I only know it from a reference on Scrubs.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:34, archived)

Scrubs was shit

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:37, archived)

It massively outstayed it's welcome.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:39, archived)

going forward, can we just assume that no-one wants to hear from you on the subject of comedy?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:40, archived)

Certainly not!
You need my opinions. How else will you know how wrong you are?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:47, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nescbncEOZM
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:32, archived)

i fucking hate seinfeld

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:35, archived)

Larry David is a bellend.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:37, archived)

tries too hard to be funny and fails spectacularly

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:55, archived)

If there were enough people here I'd do a national sweepstake, but there isn't so i wont , soz

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:19, archived)

:((((((

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:22, archived)

^

( broadsword w⚓, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:25, archived)

we don't have 40 people here

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:35, archived)

didn't everybody get 2 horses last time?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:44, archived)

Dunno, wasn't by me tho
www.b3ta.com/talk/7921242
( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:55, archived)

by 'last time', i quite selfishly mean the last time that i took part. it was probably about 5 years ago
doesn't time fly, eh? we're none of us as young as we were
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:02, archived)

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:06, archived)

i noticed. failing memory is one of the worst parts of getting old
i just remember being out in london trying to follow your national thread on my shitty phone. editing it was a nightmare after you left
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:07, archived)

Come back, The Doveston, all is forgiven.
I reckon were sufficiently dispersed for it to count as national, anyway. What are we betting on?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:34, archived)

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:35, archived)

Oh, I see.
Not really relevant to my interests.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:41, archived)

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:46, archived)

Maybe we're all suffering a stroke?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:47, archived)

i quite enjoy a stroke every now and then

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:06, archived)

horses are cunts

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:37, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/shame/post44239

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:53, archived)

My mate's tipped me Vincente.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:04, archived)

Vincente into a dustbin and now i'm stuck. please help
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:08, archived)

I got my foot stuck in a bin, once.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)

This still cheers me up.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-19783214
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:21, archived)

Looks like one of
these.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:46, archived)

get banana
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:24, archived)

^the most tip top

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:25, archived)

*thunderous applause"

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:26, archived)

'member top deck shandy?
wha'wertharrallabout? beer? f'kids?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:27, archived)

yes

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:29, archived)

Maybe if you'd never tried it you wouldn't be on the f-ffff-fukin' e-eeeght ace.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:31, archived)

Back then, we assumed kids would want bitter in their shandy,
not this lager rubbish.
Where did it all go wrong, eh?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:32, archived)

loony lefts fault

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:36, archived)

that was shandy bass, top deck was lager, have you had a stroke ?

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:37, archived)

Well I never.
No wonder I preferred the former, as a nipper.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:42, archived)

i had some adnams rye ipa last weekend, it was alright

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:48, archived)

The trouble with relying on my in-laws to pick up creates of beer from Costco,
is that I'm not getting much variety.
The offy round the corner looks to have a decent selection, so I might have to go mad and spend some of my own money.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:52, archived)

My local co-op always has loads of beers in, no food tho

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:54, archived)

With a lager for breakfast, bitter for lunch, and stout for tea,
you'll probably hit all the major food groups.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:55, archived)

I'm not sure it has gone wrong from your perspective
bitter and craft beer sales have been steadily rising for years while lager sales have been dropping off
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:39, archived)

the brew dog stuff is shit
just putting that out there
( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:40, archived)

They brew some interesting beers,
but they are predominantly a novelty brewery, I suppose.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:44, archived)

Agreed
The carling of craft ales
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:44, archived)

Ooh, harsh.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:46, archived)

Its just how it's mass produced overpriced pish that's swamped the market
When it comes down to it, it's pretty average as far as ales go
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:50, archived)

I don't think they've "swamped the market".
But their image is a bit of a lie, I'll grant you that.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:54, archived)

Meh, exaggeration on my part I guess
But most other craft ale breweries don't have a chain of their own pubs to be fair
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:06, archived)

This is true.
I'm not convinced that "more brewery owned pubs" is the answer anyone was looking for, either.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:14, archived)

and they're a bunch of cunts

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:45, archived)

woah
there's a story here, I can sense it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:47, archived)

I bet it involves romance

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:50, archived)

tramps-bumming-under-a-jersey-shore-pier type romance

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:11, archived)

I love the scene where Dennis and Dee are talking about some random girl right in front of her

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:14, archived)

"you're not too far off"

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:41, archived)

not a huge one
but they recently bullied a family run pub into changing its name because it was the same as their new brew, allegedly
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)

Wankers.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:14, archived)

ah yes
they backed off and said it was a trigger happy solicitor or some bollocks
( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:16, archived)

ah i didn't see the follow-up
fake news, alternative facts, etc
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:25, archived)

yeah but the solicitor surely wouldn't send out a letter unless instructed to do so

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:27, archived)

oh

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:47, archived)

^^^^
'Punk' brewery, except with board members and shareholders. It's all marketing guff.

Their 'shareholder' scheme is a swiz as well. You're paying for the opportunity to get shares that'll be raffled off eventually. Essentially they're borrowing money off their members.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:59, archived)

Yep.
They're clearly in pursuit of the different rather than in pursuit of the drinkable.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:47, archived)

Some of their stuff is pleasingly hoppy,
but at a premium price for 330ml bottles, it's never going to become a regular drink.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:50, archived)

^this, although they seem to be the figurehead for a lot of breweries that do the same
Although their pursuit of the different, once you strip out all the guff about "notes, flavour profiles, and nose" boils down to "bung more hops in there and ship it out."
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:53, archived)

More variety in the market can never be a bad thing.
Style over substance is in full effect with their output, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:56, archived)

Oh I'm all for diversity, but when they all taste the same (i.e. hops uber alles) it seems pointless

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:07, archived)

I have on occasion been pleasantly surprised by their brews,
but more often than not I've found myself wondering if they ever bother to taste test before selling what they've created.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:20, archived)

American craft ales can do one as well.
I'm not paying £3 for something that comes in a coke can. Get bent.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:00, archived)

Canned beer is shit, 330ml cans are extra shit.
'Spoons do some of their USA craft beers on tap, so I ordered one and got a pint of ice cold, fizzy IPA - it was incredibly wrong (that it was on a tap, not a pump, should have warned me off, but never let it be said that I won't try new things).
I seem to recall the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale that I'd get from Asda (in bottles) was alright, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:09, archived)

All of the fancy ale places that have followed in the wake of Brewdog here have tapped ale that they serve by the 1/3rd or 2/3rd.
It's a load of shite.

Call me a philistine if you want, but quite often when I'm choking for a beer I don't want to turn the experience into a baffling ordeal and read upto 40 different brews on a massive chalk board while the member of bar staff listlessly stares at me. Sometimes I just want to stride into the bar, and mutter "a pint of tennents-cold".
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:15, archived)

Yeah, one of Dunstable's many (many) shit pubs was relaunched as a hipster / craft ale place.
Couple of taps, a few bottles, no pumps, and priced like the town had been moved down the M1 until it had reached London. Absolute rubbish.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:25, archived)

They have acoustic acts and hipsters with neck tattoos reading poems about their vegan bicycles.
I feel more at home surrounded by sullen old men drinking heavy in stoic silence.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:31, archived)

I find them amusing because they upset all the craft beer wankers by being massive capitalist bastards instead of beardy hippies

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:26, archived)

You neither want to be a punk beer prick or a real ale twat though really.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:17, archived)

Classic $$

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:32, archived)

Cheers

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:32, archived)

teg pot

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:35, archived)

I'm a little teg pot, shogt and stogt.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:01, archived)

bot get

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:14, archived)

You could save yourself some effort by writing a bot bot

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:21, archived)

I might
but I feel I should place my efforts into something worthwhile like upsetting /links or something
( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:24, archived)

I stole my comment on /links from the BBC website
yet they all think I wrote it
( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:25, archived)

I believe the most efficient way of upsetting links is to make a bot that clicks 'I like this' on every post. Such a bot might achieve almost a million clicks a day before the cunt mods ruined it.
Hypothetically
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:12, archived)

Clas$$ic SS

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:29, archived)

might stick him on ignore again

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:31, archived)

I don't get it...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 16:54, archived)

as in that you don't get none?
at all?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:28, archived)

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai $$

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 17:27, archived)

bottom get

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 21:11, archived)

My in-laws have decided that they're staying over tomorrow night
Who was your worst houseguest?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)

We get mice occasionally
I'd rather they didn't stop by at all
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)

www.imdb.com/list/ls061315814/
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:41, archived)

wot, no Gummo?
or Bad Boy Bubby?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)

this is a mixed bag
www.imdb.com/list/ls003072831?ref_=tt_rls_1
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:49, archived)

I, too, have watched some films.
Does the internet need the details?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:52, archived)

Apparently
Lists of obscure films that you might not have seen, I understand the point of that. But I'm fairly sure most people have seen Pulp Fiction by now.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:53, archived)

even I've seen that
and I've hardly seen any films
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:57, archived)

Oh, man, there's loads a films I haven't watched!
I'd better make that list.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:57, archived)

that's a bit weak
39 films? I must've seen, like, at least 50.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:58, archived)

bullshit
no one has seen that many films
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:00, archived)

I'll admit, I've seen some films twice

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

I suppose this is why you should keep a list,
so you can avoid making such mistakes.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:08, archived)

once a season I have a torrent binge and download loads of stuff that looks good
but when I finally have a free evening I look at the list on the NAS and have no idea what any of it is. Then I IMDB it and it all looks shit or dull.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:11, archived)

Haha, I've done that on more than one occasion.
Usually downloading lists of "best films in xyz category" on Reddit, most of which then turn out to be turnips.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:17, archived)

that's how I ended up watching Sausage Party :(

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)

lol gutted.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)

w
ching a
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:09, archived)

Their main sub is dogshit. The /r/filmnoir and /r/badmovies are good though.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)

Bad Movies put me on to this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCapcGFGLkI
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:36, archived)

I've got a theory any shitty 80's scifi with Meg Foster in it is probably so-bad-it's-good.
Apart from they live, as that's a stone cold classic.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:39, archived)

K watching that

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:40, archived)

Every time you bring that one up, I make a mental note to watch it,
but never seem to get round to it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:43, archived)

Death Machine is another classic but it knows what it's doing.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:46, archived)

I found Kung Fury on Netflix, the other night, which made me very happy.
Even though cheap CGI can't hold a candle to rubber FX.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:53, archived)

Lifeforce is on netters.
The sfx are great for the time, and the main space vampire has her amazing notes on show for most of the film.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:56, archived)

Another one that I keep meaning to watch.
Maybe I really should put a list in IMDb?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:02, archived)

Allow dat. Just whack one on google docs.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:49, archived)

that looks like the wrong kind of shit

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:46, archived)

This whole subthread is making me want to watch Kung Fury again.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:51, archived)

I lolled at "Kung Führer".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:54, archived)

The whole thing's ace.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:03, archived)

It really is.
Likewise, this.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:06, archived)

Lol, looks like a South Park take on the genre.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:15, archived)

I get all my film recommendations from On Cinema at the Cinema

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:11, archived)

I get mine from the paper
If the Sunday Express don't like it, I don't watch it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)

I get quite a few from the local cinemas screenings.
I keep meaning to listen to mark kermode more often.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:48, archived)

Yes, kids do tend to like cartoons.
Space Jam must be in there as a punishment.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:45, archived)

wot, no Boxtrolls?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:45, archived)

I guess johnsgordon doesn't want his future children to see it
wonder what his future wife is like
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:48, archived)

Maybe a robot.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:49, archived)

man, the future is going to be brilliant

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)

Hitler

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)

I heard that there are skidmarks on the towel after he's had a shower

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:44, archived)

You think that's bad?
You should have seen the state of the oven after he left. And he must have left the central heating on or something because our gas bill was through the roof for that month
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:50, archived)

I prefer not to associate with other people.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:48, archived)

charles manson

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)

I bet he'd be brilliant company
up to a point
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:52, archived)

he could play you some of his songs

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:54, archived)

I'd enjoy that a great deal
unless any of them are racist. I'm willing to bet some of them are a bit racist.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:56, archived)

not really
they're not actually that bad, if you're into that sort of thing:
youtu.be/mpx4ODP35VQ?list=RDEMg4PjaIl--sMSSAOTtHZksg
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)

I almost feel sorry for him on People Say I'm No Good

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:03, archived)

oh man that comment "pls come to brasil!"
killed me
( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:04, archived)

As long as its pre Holywood I wouldn't mind that

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:36, archived)

As long as its pre Holywood I wouldn't mind that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)

as long as it's paul hollywood i wouldn't mind that

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 15:22, archived)

any of my kids' friends
needy little shits
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:54, archived)

Some of my kids friends are perfectly charming.
Reckon I could be persuaded to trade a couple of mine.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)

"mr patterson"

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:00, archived)

"Mr tangles, where's the toilet paper?"
"You mean you didn't bring your own?"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)

one prick was left by his ghastly mother to pack his own bag
me: right brush your teeth and put your pyjamas on
*kid opens bag to reveal various toy guns and nothing else*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

I hope you sold him some pajamas and a used toothbrush for his best rifle
Fallout-style
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:03, archived)

I only really care about my childrens' teeth
my duties ended once I'd told him what to do
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:07, archived)

Neo: The Early Years

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:04, archived)

Did you brush his teeth vigorously with one of the toy guns?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:16, archived)

My parents basically announced they were staying round mine the day after new years.
I found this a little unfair for several reasons, not only I was down there for Christmas, and basically have it in my head that once I've got Christmas out the way I'm free until I have to go back to work.

Secondly, it's a one bedroom flat, so I either had to lie on the sofa or be consigned to my bedroom when they decided they wanted to sleep.

Thirdly, they kept quiet that they were intending to stay an extra night without telling me.

It was more the way they went about it. Essentially backing me into a corner. I'd have preferred to pay for a hotel.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:58, archived)

that's proper inconsiderate
is there any decent inheritence for you to make it worthwhile?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

Yeah.
It was the fact it was at Christmas as well. Because I fly I have to stay longer than I'd prefer to and get rather bored and struggle to bite my lip by the end of it. Looking forward to that free time (usually around the 27th until the 2nd/3rd) is what really keeps me going. It wasn't just a physical intrusion, it was a mental one as well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:14, archived)

My mum gets really upset if I ever suggest booking into a hotel when I visit with my family,
even though her house is way too small to comfortably accommodate us all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)

I came to the conclusion if they pulled that shit again I might just book myself into a hotel.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:14, archived)

sell their house and put them in a home

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:05, archived)

My kids

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:05, archived)

what's the point in having visitation rights if you don't want them there
can't you give them 20 quid each and tell them to fuck off to a mate's for the weekend?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:10, archived)

something to annoy the ex with?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:11, archived)

I remember the day my Mum said I didn't have to go to my Dad's at the weekend if I didn't want to
It was a revelation.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:13, archived)

I get on great with my ex

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:14, archived)

good job otherwise she might make you have them more often

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)

They seem to want to pester me

( mongychops, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:12, archived)

It has always seemed strange to me...
The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.
( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)