Alright guys...thought I would start a thread I can actually take part in.
My new furniture was delivered yesterday. It's fucking aces.

What new purchases have you made recently? Tell the Internet.

ALT: anyone use an e cig? Recently quit smoking and I am struggling to find a decent quality oil that actually tastes like tobacco and doesn't make me cough. Cheers.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 20:43, archived)

i bought a sandwich but i eated it

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 20:54, archived)

You need to be more specific

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:04, archived)

no i don't

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:05, archived)

What was on the Fucking sandwich woman!
I had a "tex mex" pepperami earlier. It was foul. Which is funny considering I have no sense of smell or taste.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:07, archived)

well if you're going to be like that you can go fuck yourself

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:08, archived)

And normal service is resumed

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:09, archived)

what was on the pepperami then?
mexican/texan pepperoni-salami?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:08, archived)

Do you know what a pepperami is?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:11, archived)

I am generally ignorant, soz

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:13, archived)

was it delish?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:05, archived)

it was alright,
they'd ran out of ciabatta though so i had to have it in a brown sesame seeded bap instead.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:07, archived)

Fucking hipster

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:07, archived)

oh really then what the fuck bread do you have your panini made of

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:10, archived)

I don't eat paninis I am not a fucking hipster

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:11, archived)

yeah i know,
you're so totes proper working class, you eat mass-market junk food you don't even like
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:13, archived)

I didn't know

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:17, archived)

yeah just stick to Greggs next time eh

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:20, archived)

I haven't had a greggs in years.
Their tuna mayonnaise subs used to give me killer heartburn.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:33, archived)

i stopped going when they stopped selling corned beef pasties

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:35, archived)

Never tried one.
It was years ago, there used to be one right outside the educational establishment I worked for. The students flocked rhere
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:56, archived)

I think panini is the plural mate

(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:32, archived)

Panino just means a sandwich or roll
In English panini means a toasted sandwich. It's fine to use paninis as plural for this.
Same with capucinos, espressos, etc.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:56, archived)

Cheers Graham Coxon out of the Blur.
I stand corrected.
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:13, archived)

To be honest I was unsure at the time of writing.
Thanks Graham Coxon out of Blur. Can you get me Damon Albarns autograph? Cheers.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:47, archived)

the usage of the word "fuck" is strong in this thread so far, good job!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:12, archived)

innit that they are always out of the kind of bread you want at that moment?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:09, archived)

not usually,
no
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:11, archived)

well, men seldom get what they want, you know :(

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:13, archived)

that's because men mostly just want sex,
and that's not the sort of thing they typically do in a sandwich shop.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:14, archived)

You are going to the wrong kind of sandwhich shops

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:16, archived)

um.
no i'm not. i only go in there for a panini and a latte so it all works out just fine.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:17, archived)

It gets worse

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:18, archived)

yeah if there's one thing worse than a cafe that isn't also a brothel,
it's a cafe that isn't a brothel and serves latte.

what the hell are you babbling on about now you abject buffoon
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:21, archived)

I like you

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:23, archived)

gutted

( $$ ✅, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 21:54, archived)

I purchased 12 cans.
Working out ok thus far.
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:28, archived)

You need to be more specific.
I haven't had a drink in over a week now. Intending on doing a couple of months clean. If I can get that far then maybe a few months. I started to have some real issues with my relationship to alcohol and other things
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:44, archived)

Tyskie.
I should stop drinking, no reason not to though. Power to your elbow, keep it up.
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:53, archived)

I have multiple reasons for both continuing drinking and stopping.
I think at 35 I have to make a decision one way or another - i would like to get to a place where I can drink like most other people...with control. I am not sure that is going to be the case though.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:58, archived)

10 in and thinking about getting more.
I've no control haha, it's all or nowt with me I think. Can't do nowt though! Not hurting anyone though, think that's the important bit?
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:10, archived)

Oh yeah definitely, if no one is getting hurt I think fuck it.
But it was starting to have an impact on me seeing my son just because I wasn't fit for anything some of the days I was seeing him. That couldn't go on.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:13, archived)

Your doing right then mate.
Stick at it.
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:16, archived)

A Japanese copy of Final Fantasy VI for the SNES and Shenmue 1 for the Dreamcast
Yeah
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:53, archived)

I recently sold all of my old consoles. I was something of a collector. I got a reasonable return on them
And yet every now and then I find myself browsing ebay for all the things I have just sold...
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 22:59, archived)

oh my fucking god facebook parents
( vladimir, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:12, archived)

I mean just please can you shut the fuck up about your kids ok
( vladimir, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:13, archived)

just shut up, fuck off, stop posting fucking cartoons about how basically great you are, just stop it
( vladimir, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:15, archived)

sorry everyone I have nowhere else to say this apart from screaming into a binbag

( vladimir, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:16, archived)

I don't have the temperament for facebook.
Cunts need to be told.
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:19, archived)

I think I am going to have to give it up

( vladimir, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:21, archived)

It's probably for the best.
Just used to boil my piss constantly, and I was aware I was seeking it out. Weird really. Have you any 'facebook friends' that home school? Jesus christ...
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:26, archived)

usually when people type comments along the lines of there needs to be a cull and cleansing with fire, I think to myself, well let's steady on here, that's a bit much now isn't it, but this evening, well, this evening, immadme, I don't know. Maybe they have a point.
( vladimir, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:29, archived)

I'd struggle to argue with that sentiment.
Playful hyperbole aside, it's probably what's required.
(immadme, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:35, archived)

I quit it some time ago.
It's the best thing I ever did. Also it's not great to have in my line of work.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 23:48, archived)

New thread! Featuring a ceremony to award Grrrmachine his "No, That's Fine, I Guess It Doesn't Matter Really" trophy for passive aggression on the internet :).
Yesterday I tried out ultimate frisbee and today everything below my knees is complaining loudly. When was the last time you realised keeping up with the young'uns was a lot of effort?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:51, archived)

oh cheers, adam

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:56, archived)

HULK THREADSTOMP

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:57, archived)

:(
i.imgur.com/Pwkqhqm.gifv
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:19, archived)

alright

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:18, archived)

90 minutes to go

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:29, archived)

and then the site gets shut down?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:49, archived)

you wish

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:19, archived)

is frank coming back? :)

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:25, archived)

i doubt it
he was never 'fired' but he did quit in a pretty definitive fashion
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:33, archived)

well that is a shame, he used to liven the place up and cause massive upset

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:39, archived)

www.kentonline.co.uk/folkestone/news/drum-and-bass-pensioner-has-124152/
( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:58, archived)

Lol.
I like this one.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:01, archived)

their shortening thing really ruins the 'url headline' game

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:04, archived)

yeah kentonline don't play by the rules

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:09, archived)

and that's why they're the only reliable news outlet left on god's green earth

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:33, archived)

Roy Orbison is d&b as fuck

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:55, archived)

dead and buried

( $$ ✅, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:56, archived)

I thought that was an article about a MIDI product
www.kentonuk.com/
( fuscous, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:19, archived)

ace

( $$ ✅, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:56, archived)

Go try walking football you big old wally.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:00, archived)

l n
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:13, archived)

last summer
falling out of a tree fucking hurts
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:08, archived)

What were you doing in a tree in the first place?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:14, archived)

getting branches
to have a lightsabre fight with
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:19, archived)

also, i like climbing trees

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:32, archived)

Fair dinkum.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:44, archived)

is your willy down too?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:21, archived)

No, but then again it was not required for the purposes of playing ultimate frisbee.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:26, archived)

I thought you had to be a gigantic prick to play ultimate frisbee

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:37, archived)

drinking on a school night

( $$ ✅, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 16:58, archived)

alright

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:46, archived)

suppose so

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:48, archived)

Yer mate, all cool

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:54, archived)

good
the thread was worth it now, despite yeti
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:02, archived)

he'

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 15:18, archived)

new thread
Got any plans?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:19, archived)

for the General erection?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:23, archived)

i'm excited about it
there hasn't been enough politics in the news lately
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)

do you think she's gonna go for the 2/3 majority in parliament option,
or the vote of no confidence in her own government option?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:38, archived)

I think she is doing this so no one can bang the "we didn't vote for you" drum while she goes about dealing with brexit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:39, archived)

also kicking labour while they're down,
and being able to stay in power until 2022 after Brexit goes tits up.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:41, archived)

Like them bloody Scots

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:46, archived)

we still ain't gonna bloody vote for her

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

^^^^^^

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)

Yes jason, the tories are going to win a landslide in scotland.
Aw here, look, it doesn't matter if labour are useless because they have the snp.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

the SNP should field candidates in England

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:49, archived)

If they became a national party then the whole independence thing would be less relevant and pressing.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:53, archived)

depends,
Northumberland and Cumbria might want to come with us.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:59, archived)

But that's the thing isn't. A lot of support for independence is because Scotland's political alignment is so out of step with westminster.
If westminster was in closer alignment then support for independence would fall. You'd always have the die-hards who want their own government no matter what obviously.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:03, archived)

true,
we could just make Edinburgh the capital of the UK though
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:05, archived)

It'd be worth it just to upset Glaswegians.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:06, archived)

Where's our ENP?
Or is that UKIP?

No ta.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:13, archived)

they're not politically very similar

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:17, archived)

Your one stopped being a proper left-wing party for about 30 years then ripped itself apart and dragged its heels when people suggested they should start acting like one.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:19, archived)

My one what?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:26, archived)

Political party similar to the snp, do keep up.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:27, archived)

nuffink to do wi me bruv

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:16, archived)

Never mind that, which box to tick for Wogs On Boats, Pronto

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:22, archived)

not much, no!!!!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:10, archived)

Saramago wrote a book where the whole Iberian peninsula breaks off Europe and floats away
I wonder what the Scottish version of that would be like.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:26, archived)

They'd probably float up to Iceland, plug up Rejkjavik harbour
then fill it with oil and turn it into Europe's largest deep fat fryer
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:27, archived)

"HOO'S WUN THA COD WOOR NOW, LADDIE??"

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:27, archived)

I'd love to live in Iceland.
Fuck all work there though. Most of their techies fuck off to Sweden.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:28, archived)

i dunno, seems like they're looking for people
jobs.iceland.co.uk/
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)

sigh

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:41, archived)

you get the comedy you deserve

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)

Not from you I don't.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:57, archived)

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:12, archived)

what?
I thought that wasn't for ages yet
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:41, archived)

8 June,
do keep up
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)

just announced this morning

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:51, archived)

she didn't announce it in the morning thread
so it's not valid
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:54, archived)

sixth form politics
why can't everything be fair
voting russell brand
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)

beautiful
Ol Rusty Rockets will sort this mess out and no mistake
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:14, archived)

Hang about, he never promised to solve anything, he just wanted a platform to bloo about all the nasty rich men, not including himself obv

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:31, archived)

Thanks grand sage.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:39, archived)

i've got some of my best laid plans, and the best laid plans of some nearby mice as well
surely nothing can go wrong
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)

oh no, they've gang a-gley!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:35, archived)

I liked it when they shot John Malkovitch

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:39, archived)

once saw a production of OMAM at school with Matthew Kelly playing Lenny
somewhat spoilt by classmates heckling him with paedo jokes throughout
( bearhunt is drinking tea with wreckless abandon, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:04, archived)

Oh what's the point.
What's the fucking point?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:33, archived)

there isn't one Barry
but you're too much of a coward to kill yourself so you might as well come up with vaguely rewarding events to pepper the calendar of your life before your internal organs are finally overcome with ennui.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:40, archived)

I honestly don't know whether to pull my thumb out of my arse and try and improve my life or simply fill a bucket of water and drown myself in it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:43, archived)

just keep dropping fag butts down holes in the street and one day this might happen
imgur.com/gallery/Eo3AltY
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:52, archived)

Blimey.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:55, archived)

how would you like your life to be better?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:55, archived)

FEWER ennui, mostly.
Living and working somewhere else would probably fix these. Dunno where though and doing nothing has led me to this point.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:12, archived)

lol wee

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:20, archived)

I recommend Poland
it cheered me right up
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:22, archived)

I'm eyeing up Berlin.
Part of the problem is not knowing what to do*. But I could wait forever pondering that. Might just scattergun job applications around various places and let other people decide.

Well that and by the time I get to the weekend the last thing I want to do is more work, even if it's for the greater good.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:25, archived)

what's your current job title?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:28, archived)

Strictly speaking Developer (Java, C++, PL/SQL).
But I also do sysadmin/dba shit and can team lead but don't want to.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:29, archived)

I'd go with the bucket of water

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:31, archived)

It's certainly the easiest and most certain.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:32, archived)

I see Java and C++ jobs advertised everywhere
surely with that under your belt you could move to any major European city.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:53, archived)

Yeah, just need to get past the 'pulling my finger out of my arse stage'.
I'm just too accepting of mediocrity and listlessness.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)

Yeah, I plan to have a really nice afternoon pottering around at work,
Then go home, take the dogs for a nice walk, go and see the horse for a bit and then settle in with s glass if wine and maybe an episode of the X-files.

You?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:38, archived)

I bet your entire wardrobe is filled with beige cardigans

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:41, archived)

I wear exclusively navy blue wool

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

even pants?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:56, archived)

Yes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:03, archived)

Some wanker, in a contrived attempt at self-promotion organised quarterly 'town hall' (ie all staff in this location) updates.
This usually comprises of local news then a couple of presentations from invariably boring managers saying what they do. I don't even give a fuck about what I do here so why on earth should I care?

They go half an hour over the time I'm allowed to leave as well. I have a visceral dislike of the person who started these and not just for this reason, but I think the above serves quite well to describe the sort of person this person is and justifies why I despise them.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:43, archived)

Yeah

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:02, archived)

such as?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)

^plod

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:11, archived)

either that or he plans to rob me, i'm saying naink

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:13, archived)

how do you pay for those watches of yours?
Just bung it on a credit card? Or do you use one of those currency transfer websites? Asking for a friend.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:17, archived)

They appreciate so quickly that each one sold pays for the next two bought

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:24, archived)

watches as investments is a mugs game, just get bonds if you want that, yes some go up, but most go down

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:29, archived)

omega seamaster then, oh haha

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:33, archived)

disgusting

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:35, archived)

if i'm buying from abroad i just use my bank card, but with any large purchase like that you buy the seller first, any hint of doubt and i won't buy

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:25, archived)

yeah, I always buy the seller, just to make sure

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:38, archived)

PayPal and visa are great for buyers protection, shit for selling

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:44, archived)

By bank I hope you mean 'credit'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)

Nah , bank card

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:54, archived)

I tend to use credit just so if I do get frauded I can still pay bills and shit while it's sorted out.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:57, archived)

Don't tell mgt as it upsets her, but i have numerous bank accounts

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:00, archived)

First round of the French presidential elections this weekend.
A full third of French people still don't know for whom they're going to vote.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:23, archived)

I hope Le Pen rounds you up into a death camp

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:30, archived)

Current polls are saying that if Le Pen makes it to the second round, she's guaranteed to lose.
Virtually every candidate is a corrupt, incompetent old fart, with the result that the only people who care and are motivated to vote are the mouth-breathing armchair fascists who think Le Pen will make France great again.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:37, archived)

polls are pretty reliable these days, aren't they

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)

No, and that's part of my point.
No-one has any actual clue who's going to get in but since 95% of the candidates are promising either more of the same or a lot worse, it's very difficult to care.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:42, archived)

surely as an immigrant you should care

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:24, archived)

I do care, intensely.
Of course, with all of teh ironiez, as an immigrant I don't have a vote. I never bothered getting citizenship before now, as it never seemed urgent. Brexit has turned that situation on its head.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:30, archived)

What I found unusual and disturbing about france is that the rise of the right is coming from the yoots, not the blue-rinse brigade.
Doesn't really shout progression in the years to come.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:42, archived)

The yoots are the ones with no job prospects,
owing to the previous administration's disastrous policy of subsidising 7% of all private sector wages without any obligation on companies to create new jobs, so companies have just been taking the money and sitting on it. Unemployment's risen by 30% in five years. Which is easy for EDL types to attribute to uppity coloured folks, of course.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:47, archived)

we had the same here
most kids don't give a shit cos they think all politicos are corrupt self-serving nepotists, so the only ones who are politically active have got there by being brainwashed through the Church. So it's all anti-gay, anti-immigrant, anti-abortion Poland Stronk bollocks.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:49, archived)

Pfff, just like in the Bible Belt.
See that uninsured family who died, that town that went bankrupt and that tornado? Gay marriage did that.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)

the Warsaw elite are to blame because your theif dad stole from his employer, lost his job and died from alcoholism
One branch of my in-laws are vehemently anti-EU because, since Schengen, they can no longer live the life of Riley off the bribes paid by Eastern truckers (they were all border guards, employed via nepotism).
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 12:58, archived)

It's almost like political problems are universal.
The only differences I can see in the west is that corruption is baked in for the higher ups.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:17, archived)

Pretty much.
Every candidate in France is trying to be portrayed as the candidate for change, and for a breath of fresh air, inevitably followed by the press investigation that shows they've been in politics since 2002.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 13:22, archived)

I guess McBeef and Two Hats are the only other people allowed to start threads

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:44, archived)

i plan to get pissed tonight
until then, i've fuck all to do
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 14:47, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 6:36, archived)

Morning all
Still rough from the Easter piss up :(
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 7:10, archived)

you think that's bad?
it's snowing here.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 7:11, archived)

Gurning.
Time for coffee.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:23, archived)

I've had two so far
and a really squidgy poo
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)

Unusually for me, I had one before leaving the house this morning,
so I'm on the green tea now instead. I'm so not used to drinking tea that the caffeine and tea alkaloid rush usually almost makes me puke.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

I had saag paneer last night. My dirt is going to be a thing of beauty.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:31, archived)

Alright

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)

yer you?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)

not bad, got a new bank card the other day, and now i've lost it, doesn't look like it's been used but i'll have to cancel it i suppose

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:47, archived)

I need new bank cards for my UK accounts
seems they expired years ago, and now online banking requires some wanky card reader you swipe your card through. Sounds shit and rubbish to me.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

gay it

( $$ ✅, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:39, archived)

like you three burning pricks
well done, $$!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:43, archived)

I'd rather not
I prefer vadge
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)

i can't believe it's been 3 years since you created this b3ta account
still freaks my nut out to this day
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)

Happy Army Day to our Iranian forum members

( $$ ✅, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)

I took the virginity of a half-Iranian girl in a damp two-up two-down in Portsmouth
she was a bit weird
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

morning

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

alright Woodo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

YES!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)

PUNCH IT RIGHT IN THE SHITTER!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

*chewbacca groan*

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)

I watched Rogue One this weekend
it's actually pretty decent.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)

whenever i see the name of that film, all i can think of is arnold rimmer referring to red dwarf as the 'small rouge one'
#nerd
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:47, archived)

I saw the one with 'Rey' in it a couple of years ago as some mates dragged me to it.
It was alright. Left to my own devices I probably wouldn't have bothered.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)

fuck everything
/ac, depressingly
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:52, archived)

this is not in keeping with your usual sunny disposition

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)

i know, right

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)

Tuesday morning is the best kind of Monday

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)

that is true
i do keep forgetting it's not monday
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)

if you can keep that up all week, Friday will be a real treat

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)

i'll try and suffer some sort of blow to the head each day

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)

Or he'll go into work on Saturday morning.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

there is a saturday open day coming soon actually
in my old role, i used to hate being asked to do them as i'd have to set up loads and loads of av equipment just to sit there and watch a bunch of bored potential students and their parents shuffle past not really giving a shit, then being asked insanely technical questions by the one dad who think he's a photographer

now, i just have to look after a room full of computers. tell the wandering dummies we use avid because premiere pro can eat a dick and make a joke about isis (the name of our server for storing student footage). easy money
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:24, archived)

those dummies are the potential customers that will pay your wages

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)

this is why he doesn't deserve a permanent contract or guaranteed hours

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:18, archived)

i can't argue with this

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)

yeah i know. trust me, i know.
it's just frustrating
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)

When I went to my middle-school's open day I wandered past some girl using a van der graaf generator and a spark managed to go from her arse to my knuckle.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:19, archived)

in two weeks' time I've got a Tuesday between two days off
not sure what to do with it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8056812
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:22, archived)

as reasonable a suggestion as any

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)

maybe try and get some tickets to a qi taping

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 9:53, archived)

bump

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:18, archived)

you're pregnant?!
squeeeeeeee!
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)

oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! oh my god!
baby shower!
( $$ ✅, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:34, archived)

someone here just told me about a relative of theirs with a 20 week old baby, who has just discovered they are 19 weeks pregnant
oh Cov :(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:35, archived)

It must be like a burst rugby ball.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)

at least they'll get a 3 bedroom council house now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:49, archived)

If they were immigrants they'd get a mansion

( mongychops, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:51, archived)

lol reminds me of this from the viz:
Edit: soz too big.

pastebin.com/fyPBgqqY
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)

Overheard a conversation a few years ago
between three blokes discussing an Irish couple they knew, who were staunch Catlicks and didn't believe in birth control. They'd just had a baby and had waited three months before having sex again, and the very first time they did, she fell pregnant with twins.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 10:50, archived)

a 20 week old baby that's 19 weeks pregnant?!
D:
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:03, archived)

it's like Russian dolls

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:04, archived)

buzz.ie/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/russky-dolls.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)

Anyone London based want to see QI being taped tomorrow?
Since I got the tickets the girlfriend starts her new teaching job tomorrow so she's going to be lesson planning and shit. It's a priority ticket so if you're at the London Studios SE1 by 18:15 you're guaranteed entry.

I've done it before and if you like QI it's basically 90 minutes of that sort of clever humour.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 20:58, archived)

please form a civilised queue, no shoving, no place holding, no spitting, no biting, absolutely no comments about how The Light in Chains's girlfriend shouldn't have left it to the night before she starts to do the lesson plans and will probably be fired in the next few weeks, all those waiting longer than one hour will get a free cup of tea, best of luck in getting this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:18, archived)

I won't hear a word said against her.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:57, archived)

and yet you are going out the night before she starts her new job, when she might need a bit of support and reassurance, maybe a glass of wine poured and someone to hear her lesson plans over that she's left to the last minute for some reason, just to say, oh that's great, you are going to be great, well done, no you're fucking off out like a selfish thoughtless fuck, and inviting a stranger from the internet to go with you, whose happiness you are clearly more focused on than hers or your own, and not even to see anything worthwhile either, just to watch fat complacent old animated carcasses shudder themselves into life to blurp out some pained bit of forced comedy from twenty years ago, might as well just tell her you hate her and your life and then go and sit on a park bench and wait to die really don't you think
( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:05, archived)

I thought he was giving away both tickets

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:07, archived)

well I hope you don't expect me to have paid any kind of proper attention here wp

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:10, archived)

that was kind of where I was going with this, yes

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:33, archived)

I clicked it anyway because I liked the words

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 23:14, archived)

you have done well, young padawan

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 6:36, archived)

I'm only prepared to pay 5 grand each, no hagling , or 6 , dunno

( mongychops, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:25, archived)

alright mongy

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:58, archived)

I'm always guaranteed entry :p

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:29, archived)

Rohypnol's a marvelous thing, isn't it?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 17 Apr 2017, 23:39, archived)

Is there a free bar?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:30, archived)

a man walks into a free bar. "OUCH!" he shouts. It's an iron free bar. The bartender, who is also a duck, asks "why the long face?" "never mind that," replies the man, "does anyone know where the coach driver is? The blind club are kicking the shit out of some morris men outside."
( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:58, archived)

www.glastonbridge.co.uk/amy/silly-bar.png
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:01, archived)

I miss baldnomkey

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:06, archived)

I like that, I'm leaving it

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:06, archived)

what's baldnomkey got to do with it

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:12, archived)

what's baldnomkey but a second hand etomion

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:15, archived)

I am neither London based, nor do I want to see QI

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:00, archived)

yeah you do
that Sandi Toksvig! Cor!
( $$ ✅, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:02, archived)

Lesbian phwoarrrr

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:08, archived)

alright windy pig

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:07, archived)

Yes.
You?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:08, archived)

yeah great I'm going to see QI tomorrow \o/

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:08, archived)

well then you're a wrongun

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:34, archived)

no soz

( $$ ✅, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:02, archived)

alright $$

( vladimir, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:08, archived)

hiya

( $$ ✅, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:10, archived)

Happy candles

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 0:20, archived)

No, on both counts.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 22:38, archived)

great /talk

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 Apr 2017, 1:35, archived)

Evening.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:18, archived)

alright

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:19, archived)

www.b3ta.com/links/Hello_Kevin_A_Dental_Journey
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 20:17, archived)

I struggled to enjoy that as much as the crowd evidently were.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 20:47, archived)

the crowd had had rather a lot of beer by that point,
also the atmosphere was kind of conducive i guess
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:06, archived)

Urgh

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:23, archived)

Evening
I saw a BMW with the plate H15 8ABE earlier, not sure if it's meant to read "Hi 5 Babe", "Hi's Babe", "His Babe" or "Hi, I'm a fucking arsehole shitcunt wanker", it's a bit ambiguous.
( broadsword w⚓, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:34, archived)

that's a coincidence,
i was marvelling at the number plate "000 8ABS" on my way home today
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:36, archived)

How queer

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:52, archived)

is this a feynman joke?

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:53, archived)

Anyone with a personalised number plate is a complete wanker.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:38, archived)

^FACT

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:39, archived)

especially if it requires illegal character spacing to work

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:40, archived)

Most of the cars I see them on these days are probably worth less than the plates

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:47, archived)

I bought a car just to get the plate off it, which I sold then scrapped the car
Every now and then the reg transfer company sends me spam telling me my surname plate is available for the bargain price of 5k. Five grand. Think what else you could do with that sort of cash.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:51, archived)

there's one down the road from us
that has been on at least three different cars since i first spotted it. Fancy, new cars.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:56, archived)

A bloke round the corner from us has an ancient van with the plate 'A1 FUD'.
Apparently his name is Al Fud. He keeps the plates taped to the inside of the van 'cos students kept nicking it.

I agree though, they're usually for pricks.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 21:33, archived)

Can't argue with that
My car has got a personalised plate but it's fook all to do with me, it was on the car when I bought it. So I'm a semi wanker I reckon.
( broadsword w⚓, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:51, archived)

I think registration of a vehicle and the need to display a number plate for the registered owner makes it personalised

( mongychops, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:52, archived)

Well, ok, you're right
So what I mean, is that anyone who pays to display a different plate than the one that was randomly assigned to the CAR at registration is a wanker.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Apr 2017, 20:21, archived)

in Hong Kong I saw the license plate THC 1 once
of which I have proof
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:51, archived)

Was it on a cannabus?

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:54, archived)

have a lol for that but no. it was a Rolls or Bentley.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:57, archived)

I saw "404 LOL" in Luton, once.
And "B13 ELM" in Maidstone, but I can't decide whether that one was just a happy accident.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 20:41, archived)

Yo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:38, archived)

evening
I am well-fed now. anxiously awaiting the next social and cultural holiday event.
NOT
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 19:54, archived)

I'm congratulating myself for making pulled pork with crackling on.
Hardly a great achievement, but by previous efforts all failed on the crackling front, so I'm treating myself like some kind of hero.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 20:43, archived)

Fuck this stupid site
I QUIT!
(TimChuma, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 23:04, archived)

Haha yeah

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 23:12, archived)

Alright Tim Chuma

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 16 Apr 2017, 23:15, archived)

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_vvex_mfik#t=02s
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 23:33, archived)

bye

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 23:39, archived)

chmielewski sounds polish

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 0:47, archived)

it translates to Hoppers
as in, people surrounded by hops, for beer
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 6:37, archived)

I'm sorry for your trouble

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 1:00, archived)

K

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 17 Apr 2017, 3:32, archived)

check it out, someone got a clip of the happy couple's first dance
please welcome, the mcbeeves
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 21:54, archived)

looks like they were joined on the dancefloor by a couple of lovely lady boarders
i.imgur.com/1zjBQBz.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 21:58, archived)

grrrmachine was there too
still a way to go on the new diet i guess
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 21:59, archived)

and
spanishfly
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 22:00, archived)

someone was even kind enough to dance with me!
i.imgur.com/sDZEbQ3.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 22:05, archived)

You don't know how close to the truth this is

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 23:15, archived)

i got an egg, like my parents still think i'm 6.
still, chocolate, eh?
what are you all up to this zombie jesus day?


EDIT: there's my ride. 'bye all!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 15:38, archived)

Trying to read but being thwarted by a small child
Going to listen to Jarvis Cocker and wash up instead
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:13, archived)

i have an 8-year-old sat next to me
who's just swiped my headphones to listen to maxwell's silver hammer.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:36, archived)

Ian MacDonald will be turning in his grave

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 17:01, archived)

Watching the F1 at the minute, going go karting and for foo00OOOO00ood and beer later

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:15, archived)

nice!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:40, archived)

beers before karts
always
( bearhunt is drinking tea with wreckless abandon, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:52, archived)

I'm in a barn in rural oxfordshire.
Beatboxing in the nude
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:19, archived)

squarting while two men beatbox nude

( $$ ✅, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:28, archived)

it seems quite the popular choice

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:30, archived)

Ignoring the mrs' dad.
The mrs is hugely enjoying her dinosaur easter egg and her mum is fucking delighted with her chocolates. Her dad's sulking because I took over the cooking in order to make dinner edible.
He's never cooked before and only did it today because the mrs banged on about how good a cook I am and how my Dad makes the sunday dinners at my parents. In fairness to him it wouldn't have been too bad, he just needed to watch the timing.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:48, archived)

we're all good cooks in my family
but we all specialise in different things, so there's never usually any aggro. days like this, we leave it to mum to do a good roast lamb dinner
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:51, archived)

My dad's always cooked. When I was a nipper they taught us how to cook in primary school.
I don't understand how a grown man can be unable to cook. But my housemate's a rubbesh cook too. He'll even ask me how to microwave a fucking ready-meal.
Me:'See those instructions on the pack?'
Him, 'yeah...'
Me: 'Well fucking follow them.'
And he works in a fucking supermarket bakery..
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:56, archived)

my mate's got 4 kids
and they eat whatever can be tipped onto a baking tray from the freezer and shoved in the oven. i know she's busy, but i also know she can't cook. i taught her eldest to bake cakes and he now wants to be a chef. i love cooking!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:58, archived)

My dad never learnt to cook, so after mum died we ate a lot of pizza and bung it in the oven from frozen stuff,
After a year of that we all got together and learnt to cook. Me, my dad and my brother are now all pretty good cooks, but it took a while.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 16 Apr 2017, 17:16, archived)

Steal his slippers

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:55, archived)

They do look quite comfy Win Pug...

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 16 Apr 2017, 16:57, archived)

I'm not sure anyone one comes out of this well, horrible people

( mongychops, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 17:02, archived)

If you say so the CURMUDGEONLY mongy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 16 Apr 2017, 17:06, archived)

Wish I'd gone up to the in-laws today
It's snowing there. Could have got the skis out.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 17:18, archived)

Ski cunt.
viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Screen-Shot-2016-01-07-at-11.13.09.png
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:16, archived)

+pol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:17, archived)

Lol

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:18, archived)

Just been to a little concert.
The lead singer, who came across as a bit of a twat if truth be told, played backing tracks for some of their songs with a drum track and a synth track, despite the fact that there were a drummer and a synth player on stage.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 17:38, archived)

+ mix

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 17:42, archived)

yeah but maybe the synth player only had one keyboard and could only split it into two voices
and he needed a backing track to do all those occasional 'PSHOOM' and 'BWAO' synth noises that made 90s music so great.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:07, archived)

That must have been it.
She was 17 years old, after all.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:48, archived)

Revision party continues
with PC 8k Intros at 9:30pm UK time
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:17, archived)

In isolation i know what all these words mean.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:19, archived)

Put them all together, and what have you got?
A sentence!
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 19:32, archived)

fucking hell that last Amiga demo was incredible

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 23:39, archived)

I've just cleaned my flat all over and put a biryani in the slow cooker.
Gonna drink some tinnies i reckon.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 18:18, archived)

Any of you lot working tomorrow?
If not, any plans?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 17:27, archived)

I'm gonna have a good lie in, the mrs wants me round her parents for sunday lunch.
Her mum's ok to me, but her dad don't like me because I'm closer in age to them than to her. And because I flat out told him that I've no intention of buying a house in fucking Oxfordshire. Ever. I don't give a fuck that he works for an estate agent, it's not going to happen. If we're still together when my landlady dies or the mrs finally finishes her degree, than I'll get a place for us. Somewhere fucking else. Oh and the fact that despite being a layabout I've got more money than them doesn't exactly enamour me to him either. I think that he thinks I'm some sort of criminal, rather than semi-retired.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 15 Apr 2017, 17:39, archived)

It'll be my first sunday without obligations in a billion years
so the kid will probably wake me up at 5am and I'll have to stack cups and build wooden block towers for 14 hours until it falls asleep again
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 17:44, archived)

Tomorrow, the same as today i plan to go to Greenwich, see if i get there

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 17:50, archived)

go and fulfill your war obligations

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 21:08, archived)

Plan so far: eat chocolate.
More will probably happen as the day unfolds.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 17:53, archived)

Dietitians Hate Him!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 18:13, archived)

itians ers
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 18:20, archived)

Just unwittingly removed the trap basket from my shower tray while cleaning.
Pulling a load of clotted hair and pubes out with it.

I can only assume Brian May was a previous tenant.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 19:18, archived)

Picnicking with the sister-in-law down in East Sussex.
Hope the weather's nice, 'cos her house is tiny, and I don't fancy our chances of finding a pub that isn't already booked out for Sunday lunch.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 20:39, archived)

Lesbians

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 20:40, archived)

The best kind of Ian.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 20:44, archived)

Better than a dietitian?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 20:49, archived)

Die, tit Ian.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 20:54, archived)

bit harsh

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 21:25, archived)

Hebden Bridge is in East Sussex these days mongy?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 15 Apr 2017, 21:21, archived)

Arranged an Easter egg hunt for my son tomorrow morning, before I have to get him back to his commandeering mother

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 20:43, archived)

Nope. Not working tomorrow. Or Monday.
I will probably take the nippers to the park and then cook half a pig in the afternoon.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 23:41, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 7:25, archived)

It's only Mcbeef day!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 7:47, archived)

I don't think he'd want us to make a big deal of it
I'm just glad he's found a captive audience for his "DJ" sets.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 8:03, archived)

He's the Darth Vader of the master fader m8

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:37, archived)

I find your lack of bass disturbing

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 11:15, archived)

Off to that London, today, to drag the kids around some galleries.
Might take the opportunity to wedding crash.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 8:06, archived)

Tall ship festival in Greenwich is on

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)

it's been all over my facebook thanks to a couple of beakers I know who live next door to it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)

Oh i wont bother going now then

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)

I can tag you in the photos if you like

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)

Yeah what not, i can just sit in the pub today and stop looking for my oyster card

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)

I'm off to London too
Small world.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)

I'm not
So it's not that small
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:07, archived)

I'm already in london, so i suppose if more people are arriving i should go somewhere else to make room

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

sun's out, go to the seaside

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)

It's not very nice here , and I'd have to drive because my kids are too thick to learn

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:20, archived)

if nothing else you've got them for spare parts, should you ever need them

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)

pics.onsizzle.com/suns-out-guns-out-raul-moat-suns-out-guns-out-18682168.png
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:31, archived)

Remember to wave when you see me.
We'll probably be the only ones there.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:08, archived)

I'm going to London as well.
Is there something on?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)

An organised campaign of Islamist terror.
Don't forget your backpack.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

Terrorism hopefully

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)

Oh. :(

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:25, archived)

What time are you going to London?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)

Probably go after lunch, be there for about 2 or 3 I reckon.
When are you heading and where you staying?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)

Heading to Farringdon
Staying in Farringdon

Leaving after lunch, reckon we'll be there late afternoon.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:18, archived)

Sweet. We'll see you there.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:19, archived)

Nice!
I'm sure the disco will be full of family favourites.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)

If I know McBeef, it'll be a classic wedding disco,
YMCA, superman, oops upside your head, Mr brightside, beegees the whole lot.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)

I hope he plays the conga.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 11:09, archived)

You just want an excuse to touch my bum in this suit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)

This is life.
I'm sure the memo suggested it wasn't a suit wearing occasion.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 12:08, archived)

It'll be a ghost town round there, most of the pubs will even be shut, the spoons will be open tho

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:31, archived)

I'm meeting my brother for a couple before the main event,
Is the spoons suitable? He's a bit of a theatre type.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)

As spoons go it's not a bad one as it's hardly a pisshead area

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 11:29, archived)

Cool.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 11:35, archived)

there's been loads of birds in my garden this weekend
it's a shame that I'm going to have to cut down two of the big trees
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)

Phwoar

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)

there was a lovely pair of tits right by the living room doors yesterday

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)

I'm glad she still puts the effort into your marriage

( mongychops, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)

She's a diamond, that one

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)

sow the seeds of love

( $$ ✅, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)

*tips fedora*

( $$ ✅, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)

m'$$

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)

It's a fresh and bright morning here in Oxfordshire.
Morning
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 15 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)

Orite you lot

( H.B.Mupps, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:01, archived)

Personalized morning response/greeting: please take one
| x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x | x |
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)

Morning.
There's nowt like building furniture on a Saturday morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:12, archived)

I have a terrible hang over and have ruined the weekend for everyone apparently
I am so selfish
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 10:50, archived)

with no desire to tease or bully you
You really need to cut back on the booze and drugs mate. You're showing classic symptoms of having a serious problem.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 11:05, archived)

Hey Micky thread

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 1:08, archived)

Hav Mickey koj nyob nraum thiaj zoo,
Koj nyob nraum zoo zoo koj tshuab kuv lub siab,
Hav Mickey!
( H.B.Mupps, Sat 15 Apr 2017, 1:28, archived)

Alright chaps
What's going on? I just had a take away delivered and it's fucking rank. Seriously disgusting.

What else is disgusting?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 17:59, archived)

Humanity.
Still, we'll all be erased by the nuclear flames, soon enough.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:03, archived)

If I eat this take away my living room will be consumed with nuclear guffs

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:06, archived)

mcbeef called - he wants his digestive tract back.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:04, archived)

McBeef doesn't call.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:17, archived)

He's a real heartbreaker.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:32, archived)

What sort of takeaway was it supposed to be?
A couple of months ago I tried a new brand of crisps that were pressed out into long strips and supposedly better for you. Fucking foul.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:06, archived)

It was pizza and something horrific that was supposed to be a calzone.
It is in the bin.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:17, archived)

Obligatory "stay about from my takeaways".

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:20, archived)

What ever happened to brb?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 20:40, archived)

Permabanned once the mods realised he was baldmonkey on meds.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:18, archived)

Alright the LOVELY stuj

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:27, archived)

Alright THe LOVELIEST Span Eff.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:31, archived)

Oh you have to go and move the Zfucking goal posts don't you

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:59, archived)

things branded better for you tend to be a bit horrid

( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:37, archived)

A girl in my university halls had a pack of McVitie's "Go Ahead" biscuits.
We discovered that you could use one to knock a lump out of the dining table. Appetizing.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 20:03, archived)

Takeaways are rank, learn to cook
I'm going to play board games, I imagine some of you might find that disgusting
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:28, archived)

I go to a pop-up boardgame cafe, every 4 to 8 weeks.
My hipster credentials are impeccable.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:32, archived)

I should find it disgusting, but I just installed a load of plugins and config into Vim so I can do some python coding.
So there we go.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 20:51, archived)

you are dead to me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 21:42, archived)

imgur.com/2lFrPuY
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:34, archived)

sexual intercourse

( $$ ✅, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 21:41, archived)

/links continuing refusal to accept the simple fact that I'm LOVELY.
Ashally, no. I quite enjoy their continued denial of my LOVELINESS. Upsetting the made-up illness brigade is fun.
:D
'Ning The LOVELY Span Eff.
'Ning The LOVELY /talk. I have been drinking ALL FUCKING DAY so far.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:17, archived)

Alright the LOVELY stuj
I was on your side of the autism scale in that argument on links by the way. I totally agree it's a made up, fabricated ailment.

I also have been drinking all day. Can you get any drugs?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:29, archived)

Booze is my only drug Spanny.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:31, archived)

You are fairly boring the LOVELY stuj

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 22:49, archived)

so besides eating chocolate and getting married, like bents do
What are your weekend plans?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)

I'm going to the tall ships festival in Greenwich

( mongychops, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)

Not today it seems, I'll try again tomorrow

( mongychops, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 17:38, archived)

Accidentally spend all day in the juicer?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 17:45, archived)

Pretty much yeah , now I've got to bully my kids into going, might force my lad to try pie mash and liquor in goddards

( mongychops, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:02, archived)

I don't think there was ever a time in my life where I'd need much persuasion to eat pie and mash.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:03, archived)

^

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:03, archived)

Cockney pie and mash is a bit special needs, add liquor and it becomes Marmite to people

( mongychops, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:12, archived)

Nah 'salright.
Welsh chippies do something called a 'pie float' that looks similar but it's actually floating in mushies rather than liquor.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:19, archived)

I don't really like the pies in pie and mash shops , too crispy

( mongychops, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 18:37, archived)

Going ice skating, this pm, with the youngest, whilst the others go caving.
Going down to the lesbians for Easter Sunday. Not much planned, otherwise, so will wing it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 11:33, archived)

Lesbian's ?

( mongychops, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 11:39, archived)

i.imgur.com/XSqIgYB.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:00, archived)

pbs.twimg.com/media/C9H3yKeXYAA5TEa.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:07, archived)

I've got to travel back to the fifties and warn Doc that they're going to shoot him.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:43, archived)

also, something's gotta be done about your kids, monsty

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:46, archived)

Easter Monday aint a holiday here, and I get floating days and am in work anyway.
I'm going to have a nice quiet weekend though. I've been saying that for weeks and still caining it and feeling a bit ropey, which is precisely why I need one.

Also my flat could do with a bit of a tidy because, well, see above.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 11:39, archived)

Going on a 'fitness run' tomorrow morning.
Clubbing on Sat. night. Might go to teh cinema tonight.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 11:58, archived)

Date this evening
Probably spend the weekend eating mini eggs. Might bake something if I can be arsed.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 12:17, archived)

I'm gonna do saag paneer and dal I reckon.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 12:23, archived)

I fancy embracing my heritage and making a gubana

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)

The hottest dish north of Havana

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:09, archived)

Admittedly this would have made more sense if it'd been some sort of curry, google says it is a cake

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 19:32, archived)

Fife, lol.
pbs.twimg.com/media/C9SmVWEXUAA2p-y.jpg
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:13, archived)

Lol, stay classy.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:28, archived)

well that's given me a whole new fetish

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:28, archived)

If it's 'barely literate tattooed women' I'm sure she's not the only one in fife.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:30, archived)

one is now tatted and chokered slag in a wedding dress
the other is getting noshed off by a godmother.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:47, archived)

A godmother or your godmother?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:51, archived)

anyone's godmother will do
I haven't got one
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 13:57, archived)

I have, but I see no point in the title; it's not like I had a choice in the matter anyway.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:05, archived)

over here, being nominated a godparent means forking out for some pretty hefty gifts at times
as in, 500 quidsworth at Confirmation. And it's not the sort of "honour" you can refuse.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:40, archived)

Sounds like a fucking swiz to me.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:51, archived)

i have been informed that i'm the best godmother ever

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:24, archived)

Not fat tho, makes a change

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:06, archived)

Putting the meth in Methil

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)

Booze.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:05, archived)

moaning about not having the money to go to my cousin's wedding
and doing easter eating
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:12, archived)

It's just a wedding
You'll have to fork out for a smart dress that no-one will give two shits about, get your hair and nails done, then squeeze your hoofs into new shoes that'll give you agonizing blisters before the night is through. You'll sit in a freezing village church for an hour mouthing halfheartedly like a carp while older family members enthusiastically sing hymns, and you'll catch a rubbish view of the happy couple diagonally across the pews without hearing a word they say, yet catching everything the idiot vicar rambles on about. Someone will read out that fucking letter from the bible about love, then you'll all stumble outside for awkward photos in the rain when all you really care about is fucking off to the reception and getting food.

You'll eventually get there, only to be sat at a table with people you don't really care about because you rank too far down the family-and-friends priority list, so you'll eat your lukewarm meal through stilted conversation, interrupted by bland speeches from people who have no good reason to stand up in public. You might stain your dress, you'll worry about looking like a pig if you ask for more cake, and you'll be crippled by anxiety over whether you've used correct table etiquette. Finally you'll move to wherever the drinking and dancing takes place, where you'll get smashed on cheap plonk, run your mouth to that one family member you've had enough of, ruin your new shoes dancing to Cher's "Do you believe in life after love", then sell your kidney to pay for the taxi home because you're stuck in the arse end of nowhere pissed out of your skull surrounded by people you only talk to once a decade.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:46, archived)

Also, congratulations to Mr and Mrs McBeef for tomorrow!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:46, archived)

Clicking these.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:53, archived)

This is like the Trainspotting Guide to Weddings.
But yes, mazel tov in advance to The McBeefs.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:53, archived)

got the outfit already
and the whole family knows i can't wear heels, so that wouldn't be a problem. getting to the venue would cost about £15 and it'd be more to get back, plus it's £10 for a vodka and coke. i know they wanted to get married somewhere fancy, but fuck's sake, i could buy a bottle for a tenner! really can't justify spending money that's meant to go on bills for one day
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 14:55, archived)

Just popping in to say "tits"
Cheers
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 17:05, archived)

phwoooar!

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 17:26, archived)

tits

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 14 Apr 2017, 20:40, archived)